Chapter 1

This is a true account of how I somehow got on the sinful road to perdition because of my weak character and poor judgement.

My mama Billy Joe and my step-father Harry (The Dog-man) never paid mind to what other people said about me and that was a blessing in disguise because those neighboring women-folks with wandering husbands were bad-mouthing me from one end of the county to the other morning, noon and night.

Of course, my name isn't Jensen.

Only a fool would think that was my real name but our first names are real enough but I suspect only folks from our valley would put two and two together to figure that business out excepting for the fact most of them didn't have a whole lot of boot-learning and proper reading instruction.

I had taken up the sinful habit at a very early age to seek the company of persons of the opposite sex because of the God-awful itch I had up in my female private parts whenever I saw a man with some good muscles and the hint of a hard-on. Generally, I would look for an older man with a wife and children at home to take care of because I didn't want any "Romance" silliness to spoil my tender years when I was only window shopping and not meaning to buy the goods.

It had always seemed to me that taking things for a "test drive" was the best policy and I was a real "hot to trot" test driver from the time I was sixteen until I reached the ripe old age of eighteen. By that time, I guess I had taken almost every married man in the county for a spin at one time or another with real mixed results. I was real happy that the family planning clinic at the crossroads was so generous with their "free contraceptives" program because it sure did save me from some embarrassing outcomes on many an occasion.

Shortly after my mama married my new step-father Harry the Dog-man, he was kind enough to give me some intensive training in sex education so I would be prepared for the sneaky ways of men who would try to trick me into dropping my drawers like some naïve schoolgirl. He was a believer in "hands-on" training and told me to keep quiet about our sessions so as not to upset mama who might not approve of her sixteen year old daughter learning such hard lessons about life. I have to compliment my step-father Harry about his careful use of the free condom program and that he was circumspect in not getting overly excited when he was buried deep inside my female parts.

My older sister Hannah had gotten married shortly before Harry arrived and she never did see that side of him and perhaps that was good because it was Hannah's husband Hank that gave me my first taste of taking it up my backside like the animals out in the barnyard. I asked him pointblank if he gave it to our Hannah like that and he admitted she screamed bloody murder and told him to save it for the two-bit girls down at the still.

Hank filled me in on the girls at the still who were making lots of money just by letting the men-folk poke them every now and then and it seemed pretty innocent to me because those fellows needed some relaxation and those girls were certainly desperate for some cash money to buy some doodads for themselves and food for their families since hardly any of the men were still working after the mine shut down.

I think my first meeting with what I would describe as "sinful relations" was with the preacher man that visited us at least once a month to insure our souls didn't get on the wrong side of the Lord in the absence of sanctioned religion. His name was (Redacted) and he came from the (Redacted) church of God in (Redacted) county. Sorry about all the redacted stuff but one of my clients is an honest-to-God Lawyer and he helps me by editing my writings.

Anyway, this preacher was a big handsome fellow and I found it too tempting to resist his invitation to bend over the back of the pew and let him chase the devil from my sinful brown eye that most certainly had been hiding the much to be despised fallen angel for quite some time. He was adamant that he had to finish the job before I could stand up and I have to say he impressed me with his determination to save my soul no matter how much I to stretch to accommodate him.

It was the reverend who also introduced me to the whole spanking thing and I still have a fondness in my heart for his heavy hand coming down relentlessly on my tender flanks without mercy. I learned all sorts of interesting facts about how men and women react to such things and put it to good use in following my profession of a skilled "Happy Ending" expert. It is really strange which things are valued by men or women looking for the answer to scratching their "itch" of satisfaction. I even had a few city fellows who were so much into my feet that they licked my toes till the cows came home.

When I was working at my chosen profession over in (Redacted) county, I happened to make the acquaintance of the much revered Sheriff, the honorable (Redacted) who worked diligently to educate me on the power of restraining your partner's extremities with handcuffs and other devices and then giving the detainee a complete lesson in proper humility. I learned to be real humble whenever Sheriff (Redacted) was in the middle of a lesson and that's a fact.