Chapter 37: Transformations, Part I

November, 1982, Chicago, Illinois

On the Tuesday following Halloween, when I got to the Sig Ep house, I invited Dave and Cindi to join Stephie, Elyse, Eduardo, and me for a dinner party on Friday. They agreed and when Julia arrived, the three of us went upstairs to work on our next project. So far, we had solid A’s on all of our projects. For the next two weeks, we’d be building a 4-bit adder circuit, which was the most complex thing we’d done so far.

When we finished, Julia asked me to have coffee with her as she had the previous few weeks. I had thought about Katy’s comments at the party about helping Julia, but I still wasn’t sure. The advice I was getting from my closest friends was very different from what I thought I should do. I also had some concerns about how Julia might react, not just to the offer, but afterwards. Tracey had been totally cool about it, but I also remembered Trish’s reaction.

“I really enjoyed your party, Steve,” Julia said as we sat sipping our coffee. “I hope you’ll invite me again.”

“I’m glad you had a good time. I don’t have big parties very often, but you’ll certainly be invited. I enjoyed our dances.”

“Me too,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t do a better job dancing with you.”

“You did fine,” I said with a smile. “As I said, I enjoyed it.”

“You’re just saying that to humor me,” she sighed, slouching in the chair. “I know I don’t have a nice body or anything. All those other girls there were gorgeous compared to me.”

My guess about her being like Tracey was spot on. She was right in the sense that she was almost flat-chested and skinny, but I was sure that what Katy and I had discussed was true — change the glasses, change the clothes and change the way she wore her hair and she could be quite nice looking. She’d never win any beauty contests, but she’d certainly be much more attractive.

“I think you’re underestimating yourself. Back in High School I met a girl a lot like you. I helped her and now she’s a transformed woman with a steady boyfriend and lots of friends.”

Once I said that, I knew exactly what she was going to say, and realized I’d just managed to put myself in an awkward position.

“How did you do that? And could you help me?”

Katy had said to just ask her, but I was sure that this was neither the time nor the place.

“I helped her by building up her self-confidence and showing her that guys would be attracted to her if she tried just a bit.”

“But who would be attracted to me? Who would want me?” she sighed sadly.

I suppressed a chuckle. Tracey had said almost the exact same thing.

“That’s exactly what my friend back home said,” I replied. “I told her she was wrong, and she invited me to the Sadie Hawkins Dance at school. I said yes, and things developed from there.”

She nodded pensively. We finished our coffee quietly, and I walked her back to her dorm. I was glad that I had managed to avoid the trap that I’d so foolishly laid for myself, because I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do. She thanked me for having had coffee with her, and I headed back to wait for Stephie’s class to finish. When it did, Stephie and I headed home.

At home I had a message from a Freshman guy looking for help with his computer science class and returned his call. We agreed to meet on Wednesday after my first afternoon class. Stephie was tutoring three people in chemistry and one in calculus and now I had a total of five, though four of them were ROTC guys in the same session. I felt that was pretty good, given that we’d just started this semester.

On Wednesday, I called Karin to wish her an early happy birthday, and ensure that she’d received the card and small gift that I’d sent her. We talked about the February trip, but I could sense that she wasn’t sure about making it.

“I’m torn,” she said. “I want to see you and be with you, but I know you’re still thinking about Kara. And she’s coming to be with you in the Summer, and you’re bringing her to Sweden with you. I just don’t know. You know what I want, and I had hoped you would eventually want the same thing. But I wonder if that will ever happen.”

“I can’t promise you anything at all at this point,” I said. “Kara and I aren’t getting engaged, but we’ll be living together and, I think that in the end, we’ll stay together.”

“I know. Before, I thought maybe something would change, but now I’m not so sure. If I came to Chicago, it would be to say ‘goodbye’, I guess.”

She sounded sad and resigned. I felt terrible, but I didn’t see what else I could do.

“It’s up to you, Karin. I still love you very much.”

“I know. But that doesn’t seem to be enough. I’ll let you know by the end of December, OK?”

We talked for a few more minutes, then hung up. I felt bad, but in the end, there wasn’t anything I could do because I wanted to be with Kara. That meant all the girls had to fall away, as they had been. Karin would likely be the next. Then in May, it would be Stephie. Tatyana wouldn’t fall away until I actually got married, though my relationship with her would change.

On Thursday I finally finished reading The Art of War. I took a few minutes to call Anala after karate.

“I wondered when you would call,” Anala said brightly.

“I’ve been super busy and I have to prioritize class, homework, and work.”

“Do you still want to get together and talk about the books and Eastern philosophy?” she asked.

“Sure, but it will have to be after Thanksgiving. I might have Thursday mornings free. Right now I’m tutoring some ROTC guys, but that possibly will end the week before Thanksgiving. If it doesn’t, we’ll have to wait until after the New Year.”

“Whenever you’re ready, just let me know. It might just make sense to wait until January, with break and stuff. You could come over for tea. I have some stuff you’ve probably never tried.”

“Good tea is an offer I can’t refuse,” I chuckled. “Let’s plan on January.”

On Friday afternoon, I completed my last exam. Mid-terms had gone well for Stephie, Elyse, and me, though we wouldn’t get our grades back for at least a week. Both Stephie and I were keeping straight A’s, but Elyse was struggling with her creative writing class. She was holding a B but wasn’t happy with the way her writing was being graded.

That evening, Dave and Cindi joined us for dinner, as did Eduardo. I made fettuccine Alfredo with grilled chicken and served it with salad, bread, and a dry white wine.

“What’s with the oil and Parmesan cheese?” Cindi asked.

Dave laughed, “It’s a Mediterranean thing — we don’t use butter, we use olive oil and cheese with our bread. I’m sure Eduardo knows! Where did you pick this up, Steve?”

“From my friend Joyce back home. She’s Italian and I’ve picked up a few things from her, including adding just a bit of sour cream to my Alfredo sauce and, most importantly, right now, she’s my booze supplier.”

“Dave, where is your family from?” Eduardo asked, curious.

“Greece. All four of my grandparents moved from Greece to New Jersey in the mid 20s. My parents run the family bakery back home. They wanted me to take it over, but I really don’t want to. That’s been a source of conflict for years. On the plus side, my older sister is interested.”

“I can totally relate to you not seeing eye to eye with your parents,” I said with a nod.

“It wasn’t just the bakery thing. My High School sweetheart was Jewish, and that caused my parents and grandparents to have a fit. We’re Greek Orthodox and go to church every Sunday and that just didn’t fly. In the end, we broke up over that. Cindi has a Greek grandfather, but I haven’t been able to get her to go to church with me yet.”

“I don’t have much use for church, really,” Cindi said. “My parents are Presbyterian, but I haven’t been to church since I was about twelve.”

“Sounds about like me. I was raised Catholic but haven’t been to church since I was fifteen. I don’t have much use for Catholic doctrine.”

Cindi smiled, “Me either! Nor Orthodox, for that matter.”

“I’ve read some interesting stuff on the Orthodox Church by a Greek Orthodox bishop — KALLISTOS Ware. I got into it because of a Russian girl I’ve dated off and on.”

“How about the rest of you?” Cindi asked. “I bet Eduardo is Catholic and Stephie is Baptist, but I have no clue about Elyse.”

“I’m Catholic, but the last time I was in church was at my aunt’s wedding when I met Steve,” Elyse said. “You’re wrong about Stephie, though. Despite the drawl, she’s Catholic, too.”

“Yes,” Eduardo said, “I’m baptized Catholic, but I haven’t been to church since my confirmation when I was twelve.”

“I’m the only church-going person here?” Dave said. “Now that’s a surprise!”

“I don’t think so,” Cindi said. “Most people like us don’t go to church. I think I’ve run into two or three people at IIT who go to church regularly in the year and a half I’ve been here. It’s just not a big thing for most college students.”

“I think you’re right,” Elyse said. “I haven’t run into many, either. And of Steve’s friends, only Kara — that’s his girlfriend from back home — and his friend Larry, go to church regularly. None of my friends did.”

“I think we’re at the leading edge of a trend that’s already hit Europe,” I said. “Most of my Swedish friends have only been in church for their own baptisms and confirmations, and for funerals or weddings. I only knew one person under fifty who went to church regularly.”

“That’s also true in Spain. Except for old ladies, and a few devout old men, almost nobody goes to church every Sunday. A lot of families will go occasionally.”

“That’s the same in Greece,” Dave said. “But I like going to church. I love the rituals, the incense, and the hymns. It’s kind of comforting.”

“I’ll take a sauna, a glass of bourbon, and a lover as far more comforting than an hour in church on Sunday morning,” I said.

Cindi laughed, “That sounds about right! But I prefer vodka to whisky.”

Dave frowned slightly, but quickly recovered. I sensed a serious rift between him and Cindi over religion. I knew that I, too, had a reckoning coming in the future over that issue. In my case, it seemed that Kara was moving towards my position, or at least moving far enough that we’d be able to work something out.

“Well, I got all that covered!” Stephie grinned. “The Yankee here keeps the wine stocked, and he’s no slouch in the love department. I ain’t never been in no sauna, though.”

“That is the one thing I have to say. I miss both from Sweden and from back in Milford,” I said. “A friend of mine has a sauna that I can use any time I want. I need to find one here that’s co-ed and clothing optional.”

“Good luck with that!” Cindi laughed. “I don’t think Americans can deal with your clearly European sensibilities about nudity.”

“Scandinavian, I’d say,” Eduardo said. “In Spain we do have beaches where women take their tops off to sunbathe, but we are not casual about nudity the way they are in Sweden or Finland.”

“What do you think, Dave? If I come visit you in Cincinnati, are you game for a sauna with Steve?” Cindi asked with a twinkle in her eye.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, babe,” Dave said. “Have any of the rest of you done that?”

It turned out that nobody else had, though Stephie and Elyse both said that they would do it without question. Eduardo was unsure.

“Looks like it’s just you and the girls, Steve,” Cindi said, winking.

“Like THAT hasn’t happened before!” Elyse said, laughing.

“So there’s more than meets the eye with the mild-mannered guy from Ohio?” Cindi asked.

Stephie smirked, “And you just keep those thoughts to yourself! No Yankee girl has a chance against me!”

Dave looked pained, but kept a smile on his face.

“Oh, I wasn’t talking about ACTING on it, but I do love a good story!”

Elyse laughed, “Steve’s an open book. All you have to do is ask.”

Cindi smiled but didn’t ask any questions. I figured that was because she’d noticed that Dave was a bit uncomfortable with the conversation. Personally, I thought he would loosen up a bit over time, so I didn’t worry about it, and changed the subject.

“Dave, on Tuesday, you mentioned the Detroit Tigers. How the hell does someone from North College Hill, who’s lived there their whole life, become a Tigers fan?”

“I can’t explain it, really. I’m a Tigers and Lions fan, but I’m also a Reds fan. Aren’t you a Penguins fan? I see the team pennant hanging in the kitchen.”

“Yeah, but I can easily explain that. When the NHL absorbed the WHA in 1979, the Stingers were left out of the deal. Being a hockey fan in a town without professional hockey sucked, so I looked at the closest options — St. Louis, Chicago, Detroit, and Pittsburgh. I chose the Penguins.”

“And that’s his favorite animal, too. He has to be the only nineteen-year-old guy with stuffed animals on his bed and in his room!” Stephie teased.

“Now I’m even MORE intrigued,” Cindi said.

“Steve’s a pretty interesting guy for sure,” Elyse said. “Hang around him and you’ll find out. And so long as you aren’t a prude, you’ll have a lot of fun!”

“I don’t think there are any prudes here, though Dave can be a bit stuffy at times,” Cindi said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek, causing him to smile.

“And Cindi can be a bit too free when she’s in company she’s comfortable with,” Dave said. “You should all take that as a compliment, by the way, because it means Cindi likes and trusts all of you!”

After dinner, the six of us went for a walk to get ice cream and then came back to the apartment. Stephie and I cleaned up while Elyse made tea and coffee. We relaxed in the living room with music playing softly in the background.

“Three CS majors, a Chem-E, an Economics major and, Eduardo, what’s your major?” Dave asked.

“Business. I want to eventually get an MBA. I’m looking at going to Wharton for that. Then I’ll go back to Spain.”

“You don’t want to stay in the US?” Dave asked.

“I don’t think so. I came here to go to school, but my whole family is in Spain. Things could change, but for right now, that’s my plan.”

I nodded, that fit with Elyse’s thinking of not getting too seriously involved with someone. Any relationship with Eduardo had an expiration date, much like my relationship with Stephie.

“Dave, you said you didn’t want to take over your parents’ business. What do you plan to do when you get out of school?” I asked.

“I’m totally intrigued by compilers. I’d love to work for a place that focused on developing and improving them. But any interesting programming job would be cool. How about you?”

“Programming, for sure. I like working with microcomputers — BASIC, C, or Assembly would be cool. Cindi?”

“Programming for sure. But I’m interested in large systems, so I’m taking the COBOL elective next semester. I’m guessing you aren’t?”

“Nope,” I said. “I’m not interested in a computer that fills a whole room or working for a big corporation.”

Cindi and Dave stayed until about 10:00pm, then headed back to IIT. I had the impression that Eduardo was staying, but about 11:00pm he left, though he and Elyse exchanged a kiss at the door.

“Dave and Cindi aren’t long for this world,” Elyse observed, sitting back down on the couch.

“I got the same idea,” I said. “I don’t think they can come to a middle ground because he’s clearly devout, and she’s not at all interested in his church.”

“That sounds familiar, Yankee,” Stephie said.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. But, at least in my case with Kara, she’s moved towards my position. I can move a bit towards hers, and I think we can find something that will work. I don’t mind going to church, per se, it’s just I can’t deal with evangelical Bible thumping.”

“I still think that’s going to end badly, Steve,” Elyse said. “Even as much as you think she’s changed, that thinking is pretty solidly ingrained.”

“I’m not so sure about that. Her mom once told me that Kara has always been a free spirit, but was constrained by her environment. I set her free, so to speak.”

“You’d actually go to church, Yankee?” Stephie asked. “That just doesn’t seem to suit you.”