Chapter 3

I didn't quite sleep the whole night away, of course. At some time point in the wee hours of the morning, I woke up to hear movement in the kitchen, so I got on my Santa pajamas and found Danielle making herself some warm milk, which often helped her sleep. When she saw me, she tensed up a bit, as if she felt a little guilty, but Lisa had the same habit at times, so I just smiled and pulled my eight-year old daughter to me for a bear hug.

Danielle looked up at me and asked me, "Daddy, are you mad at Mommy? You seemed to be for a while, but I wasn't sure if you were and why."

"Sweetheart, sometimes in marriage, husbands and wives get upset with each other, but we try to work things out. I believe that your mother and I will be just fine, okay? Don't you worry your pretty head about such things. Your mother and I are going to grow old together and be Grandma and Grandpa to your kids someday."

"Okay, Daddy. Thank you. I badly wanted you and Mommy to be happy and stay together, not get divorced like I hear that Pastor Jonathan is going to get from Sister Angel," Danielle told me, to my shock.

"Say that again, honey ... Jonathan and Angel are getting a divorce?" I asked, since I was floored.

"Yeah, I overheard Sister Summer tell Sister Amy that her sister ... Sister Angel, was tired of dealing with men and wanted a divorce from Pastor Jonathan. She said that Sister Angel liked girls ... what did she mean by that?" Danielle asked me to explain that bit.

"Danielle, in this day and age, you're going to hear a lot more such things, and there is nothing wrong with it. Some women like other women the way that most women like men ... the way that your mother loves me," I explained things as best I could, "and that's okay. Some men like men that way, too."

"I think that I prefer boys myself. Or men ... when I get old enough to marry, I'll want to marry a man, not a woman," Danielle announced.

"That's fine, but you can marry either one and I'll still be happy with you, as long as he or she treats well, sweetie. You don't even have to marry, but don't tell your mom I said that. She wants to see you wear a wedding gown," I laughed.

"Daddy, you're silly! Of course, I want to get married. But do you mean that it's okay for men to date men and women to date women?" Danielle's giggling stopped and her eyes grew wider.

"Yes, it is, baby. There's nothing wrong with it, honey," I assured her.

"So ... if Sister Angel dates women, she won't go to Hell for it? Sister Amy said that she'll 'burn in Hell for it, ' Daddy. She said that 'if she's a dyke, Satan will get her.' That's not true, then?" Danielle expressed surprise at what I said, "Grandpa always preaches that it's a sin, but Aunt Michelle and Aunt Missy ... I've caught them kissing now and then, and not pecks on the cheek, either."

"Your Grandpa is a good man, but I don't agree with him about this, sweetie. I don't go to church because I don't believe in what they teach and preach there. I just disagree with it," I declared.

"Grandpa said that if you're not a believer, you'll go to Hell. Does that mean that you're going to Hell, Daddy?" Danielle wondered.

"No, kiddo, I'm not going to Hell. Can you keep a secret, baby?" I asked her.

"Sure, Daddy," Danielle answered.

"Hell is ... like Hansel and Gretel. Jack and the Beanstalk. Santa Claus. The Easter Bunny. It's a fairy tale, but meant to scare people into being good. Hell isn't real, baby," I explained.

"Oh, okay. There is no Hell. I'll keep that a secret for sure. Don't want the mean girls at school to know that yet," Danielle snickered, but her face showed relief and gratitude that I had leveled with her.

"Especially don't tell Grandpa that I said that part. I want to get along with him and Grandma, not start a fight over my losing my faith. They probably suspect already, but no need to rub it in their faces," I instructed Danielle, at which point her six-year old sister Stacey got up and rushed to hug me, having had a nightmare.

"Seems that I have two rivals for your affections, dear," Lisa laughed softy to announce her presence, hugging both of our daughters warmly.

"Yeah, but in a good way," I chuckled as I ruffled Stacey's hair.

"Can we go to church in the morning, honey? All of us, even though you don't believe in Jesus nowadays. I have a feeling that you'd want to catch more than just the afternoon fellowship," Lisa spoke in code to me.

"Naturally, dear. Now, back to bed with both of you girls, okay? Get yourselves some rest, and Stacey, your mother and I will protect you from any monsters, sweetie," I told her as I gave both girls butterfly kisses and sent them back to bed.

That morning, I took Lisa aside when the kids were sent off to Sunday school to convey what Danielle had told me, which made her laugh more than a little. We hugged and walked, hand in hand, to our old pew, which still held some good memories in spite of my "apostasy." Lisa didn't hesitate to play footsie with me as the head deacon, Arlen Moore, began pontificating and telling jokes through the lesson. Deacon Moore was a bon vivant of sorts, noted for his bad jokes, his gluttony, and for rumors about his private life based on his lifelong bachelorhood. He taught the adult class, but everyone knew that he wanted to be a minister. It was just that no one would ordain a man whose sexuality was ambiguous like that. He was oddly one of the least gossipy people in church, even if he was the topic of more than a little gossip himself. When not serving as a deacon and Sunday school teacher, he worked as Chairman of the local Chamber of Commerce and ran his own service station.

"I wonder when he's going to come out of the closet," Lisa whispered to me, making me laugh even as she tickled me a little.

That was when Angel ran out of my father-in-law's study, crying, while Jonathan followed her into the main auditorium, where the lesson was taught. Jonathan was furious, even to the point of shaking Angel a bit, before I found myself standing up and stepping between them. I blocked Jonathan from reaching out to his wife and told him that was, "Enough," while Lisa's father stood meekly and let this happen.

"Don't tell me when it's enough, you fucking wimp! Your wife spreads her legs for half of the church and you want to play superhero? I'm still the assistant pastor of this church and you're just a dumb cuckold hubby whose wife gives up the booty for her exes," Jonathan taunted me, unaware that he had just cussed in church, in front of the senior pastor, "Hell, I fucked Lisa how many times now?"

"Nice to know that you men of the cloth practice what you preach, Shorty. From what Lisa told me in her confession, you only seduced her with your mouth, not with your wimpy little dick! But, of course, size doesn't matter, or so Lisa probably told you so as not to hurt your feelings," I laughed in his face.

Jonathan turned very red in the face, especially once I told him, "If you ever touch Angel again without her permission, I'll personally report you to the Sheriff's Department faster than you can say, 'orange jumpsuit.' If you do it in my presence, I'll kick your sorry, scrawny ass!"

"She's a dyke! She told me this morning! She's a motherfucking, goddamned rug-muncher!" Jonathan protested angrily.

"Yes, Jonathan, I'm gay! So what! I was a good mother to your brats and I will be still. Yes, I want a divorce, but that's because I'm tired of lying to myself and to you. I'm tired of putting on a mask for the rest of the world and pretending to be the prim and proper preacher's wife. I can't keep it up. I can't sleep with you anymore. I can't live a lie any longer.

"It's not fair to either of us, and look what it's driven you to do! Not that I blame you for fucking around, when I've been putting you off regularly and I haven't exactly been faithful, either. Look, I'm sorry, but Chrissy and I, well, what can I say?" Angel confessed to me that she was in love with Christina, one of her mutual friends with Lisa, "We're in love, and I can't bring myself to sleep with a man when I only want her."

"Chrissy Bolton? You two are lovers?" I smiled, hugging her for a second, "That was a very brave thing to do, but where is she?"

"Waiting for me at Sandwich Sam's. She's already left her husband. Sorry, Jonathan, but I can't live this life anymore. I'm getting a job and moving in with Chrissy. We can get married now, you know, when the divorces are final. The Supreme Court said so, so that' that," Angel declared, crying on my shoulder, "You don't judge me, do you?"

"Not at all, sweetie. I know that we used to date, you and I, but that was ages ago. I'm just glad that you're happy. Like you said, we'll always be friends. At least now I know why," I smiled at her and told her, "Run along now, hon. Go find Chrissy, make wild, sweet love to her, and start the rest of your lives deliriously happy together."

Angel ran out of the church like a bat out of ... well, you know (with apologies to Meatloaf), tossing her wedding band to the ground as she did so. It clearly was a vestige of a past that she wanted to forget and leave behind her at last. She was now in the open as a lesbian and it had liberated her from the chains of a bad marriage.

"Excuse me, but did you just tell Angel to go live in sin?" Lisa's father objected to something at last.

"I prefer to think of it as exhibiting God's love in a more inclusive manner," I smiled at him, "Sorry, Reverend Tucker, but you and I don't think alike when it comes to matters of faith. What Lisa believes or wants to believe is entirely her choice. I don't believe in trying to convert people to my worldview. Everyone must figure that out for himself or herself. I just can't believe that God would send people to Hell for not groveling to him. The hypocrisy of some of your congregation hasn't helped matters, either."

"Well, that's your soul, but I will pray for you. Anyway, at least you have the guts to tell me to my face instead of being a hypocrite. I suppose that Jonathan sleeping with Lisa didn't help at all, no. And, yes, I know all about Michelle and Missy. I didn't want to admit it, but I can't seem to get away from lesbians, not even in my family. I take it that you've forgiven my daughter?" Reverend Tucker asked me, "That's, dare I say, downright Christian of you, for a non-believer."

"Yes, I have. We've been working through our issues, but I can't say that the solutions will always be acceptable to you. Which is why it is best that you not know ... not all, not at once. But, yes, Lisa's out of the doghouse with me. I wonder how much you've known and for how long, but that's okay. I'll just never trust you as a marriage counselor ever again. See you on Thanksgiving ... Dad," I answered calmly, walking back to my pew to sit there quietly with my wife, even if half the congregation moved away from me as if I had leprosy.

That was when Deacon Moore reclaimed the mic and simply told us all, "You know what? If Angel Harvey Cummings can be brave, so can I. Fuck this shit! My name is Arlen Jordan Moore. I'm gay and I'm done with this shit!"

With that, he grabbed Jonathan and planted a kiss on his mouth, which apparently stunned the assistant pastor for about two minutes before he melted into Arlen's mouth with his own, his tongue circling Deacon Moore's to our complete astonishment. Deacon Moore then took Jonathan by the hand and led him to his car, walking out of what turned out to be the very service where Pastor Tucker was to retire and turn over the ministry to Jonathan. Clearly, that wouldn't take place and my father-in-law was truly horrified at the events which just transpired. In the space of less than half an hour, he had lost his assistant pastor, the assistant pastor's wife, and his head deacon, not to mention having been told to his face that his only son-in-law was no Christian and having been forced to accept that his second daughter had a lesbian relationship going on with her best friend.