Chapter 24

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Oh man! I was still sleepy and didn't want to get up. I knew that I had to, and I didn't give us a lot of time to get ready. I sat up in bed and looked at the sleeping Kelly. I shook her to wake her, and she stirred but didn't want to get up either. "Okay Sweet Thing, time to get up. You have twenty-five minutes before we meet Yori for breakfast. Move it."

"You're so mean. What a slave driver." She sat up and the covers slid from her upper torso. It was bare.

Uh oh, the other head is waking up. I didn't wait to see if she was nude and headed to the shower but it had felt like cloth against my butt, not silky skin or fuzz, when I thought about it. Well she wore some armor at least. I saw her get up and head for her room as I went into the bathroom, and she was wearing panties.

I did my morning routine of using the john, shower, shave, and dress. I put my suit on, and my sport coat and jeans in the hanging bag. I was dressed, with my suitcase and hanging bag ready to go. Kelly walked in carrying her small overnight case and hanging bag. She smiled, and said, "Ready with a few minutes to spare."

Yori walked through Kelly's connecting door with his small suitcase. He smiled, and said, "Let's eat."

We took our bags down and checked out before putting the luggage in the car. We decided to eat the breakfast provided by the hotel, and had the usual scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. The eggs were warm, the bacon was freshly cooked, and the toast was warm enough for butter to melt. The coffee was good, so this was a great breakfast for hungry travelers.

We pulled up to the office at seven twenty, and the only vehicle around was the Construction Supervisor's pickup. We went to see Dunaldo Funica, who was happy to see me, and said, "This office is so good now. Your new man, Kurt, is really a hustler and is constantly all over the place. He's just like you; he comes to see me first thing every morning. Look, there he is already, an hour early as usual."

Kurt came over to the trailer and I introduced him to Kelly and Yori, and told him, "I'm sure you guessed that I'm Brad."

The man said, "You said you would come this week, but I thought you might wait longer. I'm glad you didn't, but I know the Regional Manager where I came from would tell you one week and he'd come the next. If he said Monday it would be Wednesday."

I told him, "Kelly wanted to make sure I had a day in my own office, so I was there yesterday and flew in last night."

Kurt asked Dunaldo how everything was, and was told all was well and his crews were busy. "We began framing your inventory home with two crews yesterday. I will have you in your new home in two weeks, maximum. Your wife and son will love it. This is going to be our large ranch so that your wife doesn't have to run up and down so many stairs, and your son won't have a chance to fall down many stairs. We'll finish the basement, but those stairs will have carpeting and no-slip rubber on top. We make those stairs according to code, so they aren't steep. The basement will be nice for your son to play in on cold or rainy days."

Kurt blushed a little, but I told him, "Hey, you get some bennies from the company. A deal on an inventory home is one of them. Make sure you get June to help your wife decorate. That's another benefit."

Kurt said, "Let's open the office and make coffee for the people." I liked the way this guy wanted to take care of his staff.

Kelly and Yori sat at the table after we made coffee, and I asked, "Do you have a list of questions yet?"

Kurt pulled a pad from a drawer, and said, "Everything I have are procedural questions. Let's go through them now so that we can tour the office when everyone is in. Sheila said that you were a stickler on doing that first thing in the morning and often throughout the day. It's a great way to feel the pulse of the office. It seems to make the entire staff happy to see me interested in what they are doing. I didn't learn that way, but I'm going to teach my Assistant that when I get one."

We went over his three pages of questions. They were all good questions that could have probably been answered by Brooks Jennings, the accountant. I asked Kurt, "Did you want Sonja to be your secretary, or have you found someone else?" when he was finished.

Kurt said, "Sonja doesn't want to be the secretary. The man who used to be in this office apparently might have mistreated the person in that position. I hear more terrible stories about the guy every day. I'm trying to show the staff all the respect and courtesy they deserve. I'm so lucky to have an office that is really staffed pretty well. I need more decorators, an architect, and probably help in finance and accounting. I'm trying to hire for the insurance department you want to start. It's a good idea but I'm a little slow in knowledge about insurance."

"My thought about how to begin an insurance office was to find the first licensed insurance agent that I liked and then let that man be the catalyst to bring in whoever else he needs. It's like real estate sales people. You get a good one and then he or she knows another good one. Good salespeople want to work with other good salespeople. They feed off each other for enthusiasm and drive to get that next sale."

"People have been coming in, so let's begin to say hi in Sales." Tod came out of his office as soon as we walked into the sales room, and hollered, "Hey, everyone, Kurt brought Brad to see us. He turned to the sales secretary and said, "Tell the two of them what we ended up with yesterday."

The woman, who wasn't a young hottie but a mature good-looking lady, said, "You probably know that we finished the weekend with eleven sales, and we matched the entire weekend with eleven more yesterday. The salespeople responsible all said that most of the sales were carryovers from the weekend, and I know that two of them were new sales as the homes sold weren't listed until Sunday."

Tod smiled and said, "This is going to be a great office for Mooney. Just go around and see how excited everyone is. Kurt's good, because he will always answer our questions or tell us that he will find out and does. He even helped out on getting a customer in to finish a credit application. Not many big time real estate companies will do that."

Another salesperson came in waving some papers. The woman walked up to Kurt and handed him the papers and said, "There, I finally got that guy to buy the house he was looking at all last week." It couldn't have been a long time, because there wasn't anyone in this office most of last week.

Kurt was cool and picked the woman up and swung her around like a little girl. "Congratulations, Tina. This is what, your third sale since you've been here?"

"It sure is, and I have another good appointment at one of our developments later today."

Tod said, "See, this place is producing. I'm really excited about everything."

We went from there to pass by the decorator's office. June looked up and smiled broadly. "Good to see you so soon, Brad. I already found another decorator. She's at a customer's home planning on how she is going to decorate her new place. Kurt was a good choice for us. He's a very courteous man."

We went to the front lobby to say hi to Sonja from there. Her mouth dropped open when she saw me. "You're back already. I didn't think you would be back so soon. I'm sorry that I had to turn down the secretary position, but it scares me to death to think that I could be in that office with the door closed. I like being the receptionist."

I told her, "We need a couple of people, Sonja. We need to find a licensed fire and casualty insurance salesman or woman to begin our own agency. We also need to find Kurt someone who can be his right arm sometimes and someone who he can bounce questions off of."

Sonja said, "I'll search these people out for you, Brad. I know Kurt is an honorable man and is happily married, but it still scares me to be in a closed office with another man."

Kurt said, "I told you that was fine and I wouldn't hold it against you. I'm glad you told me the truth so that I didn't think I had bad breath or body odor."

That got Sonja to giggle and have a lighter attitude. Kurt was a really good choice for this office.

We went upstairs from the lobby to visit with Finance. George Carter was busy, with two clerks behind him working on credit applications. George said he was very excited because he was already into bonus money as he was financing our sales and sales from a couple of other real estate companies. He told me, "I'm really glad that you came last week and straightened this place out, Brad. Our new man, Kurt here, is like your ghost and is everywhere at once. I like to tell him that we have more approvals and we do every time I see him. We were just granted approval for both of the inventory homes sold last week, Kurt. I'm going to set up the closings for later this week."

I was smiling along with Kurt, since we both knew this is when the company gets paid.

We went next door to Accounting to see how Brooks was doing. The man stood to shake my hand in greeting and did the same with Kurt. Brooks said, "Can I talk about this guy while he listens?"

I answered, "Sure, as long as you don't embarrass him too much. Let's have it."

Brooks sat back in his chair and said, "Kurt is just like you cloned him from yourself. He's all over the office checking on the progress of all the sales. He constantly comes to me and asks a number of questions and how to figure out different things. The man is smart to hunt for answers among his staff. Good job, Brad, Kurt is a bonus."

I told Brooks that he didn't need to blow that much smoke up our butts as we left to go back downstairs to say hi to Mary Jane and her clerk, Diane. The woman looked a little panicked. She told me, "I have eight closings so far this week, and George just told me that he has two more approvals. Can I have more people? I think one will do it, but we may have to have two. I'll put an ad on Craigslist for a title clerk. I wish I knew of some that were out of work."

Kurt told her to work on finding someone. He was also asking for the two women to keep their eyes and ears open to find an experienced and licensed fire and casualty insurance agent. Mary Jane's head came up as soon as Kurt said that, and she said, "My brother is one of those and wants to get out of the agency he's in. He says they don't pay the commissions they should, and constantly give people he has appointments with to one of the family's agents."

I told the woman, "Call him and have him come by to interview with Kurt and Brooks. They'll set him up in the back of Finance if he's the one. There's plenty of room back there, plus another door." I turned to Kurt, "There you go; the answer is often right here in the office."

He nodded in agreement as we went to the break room to find fresh coffee. We both poured coffee into a Mooney mug that was labeled just like that on the cup. Back in his office, he said, "I probably do need a secretary, and I know that you didn't have one in Florida. Everyone always talked about your region as it was so productive and didn't ever seem to have problems."

"No one heard about them because everyone in the region reacted quickly to fix any problems. I could be in any office the next day, and usually work the problem out the same day. We had problems, but the way to take care of them is to react instantly. I'm going to depend on you giving me and my secretary accurate information and to alert me of any developing problems so that we can head them off at the pass."

"I got it, Brad. You've done everything before nine thirty. Where will you go now?"

"I'm on my way to Portland to do about the same as here. The man there is a little raw, and didn't have the experience as Assistant that you had. I needed another man with strength and honesty like you, and was able to bring him from the South Jersey office."

I went up front to find Kelly and Sonja having a gossip gabfest. They both looked up guiltily as I said, "I'm ready to go to Portland if you don't have anything else, Kelly."

Kelly followed me into the Manager's office to get her things. I had to hunt Yori down who was talking to one of the suits who were watching the office. I said goodbye to Kurt when we were ready, and reminded him to call me often so that I knew all was well.

Kelly called the pilot to get the plane ready when we were in the car and headed to the airport. We were at the airport and into the airplane before ten o'clock. We landed in Portland before eleven, but it took a while to get a car. I told the pilot and hostess to just hang out because I didn't plan on this stop to take any longer than the last one.

Eloise squealed loud enough when we walked into the office in Portland, that the new manager, Phil Mosely, and one of the security men came running from the back. Eloise was holding her hand over her mouth, and told Phil, "I'm sorry, Sir. I was just so excited to see that our Regional Manager really meant what he told us and is here to see us."

Phil said, "It's Phil, Eloise. I'm excited to see them too."

Eloise asked, "Where's Jules? Couldn't she come this time?"

I told her that Jules wasn't really an employee, only someone who was thinking about becoming one. That worked, so I left it at that. Phil gave me the eye that told me he had the real scoop. Kelly stayed with Eloise while I went to the Manager's office with Phil. Yori was outside talking to one of the security men.

The first thing Phil said when in his office was, "I may not get a secretary until I see that I need one. Eloise wants to remain as the receptionist for a while until she knows me better. I understand, because as she says, she's a married lady and I'm a single guy. I'll probably always be single the way life is, unless I learn how to be more irresponsible or crazy. Women always seem to want a wild guy, and I'm not that man. My folks taught me to always be respectful and a gentleman. Sure, I've had some flings, but that was what they were, flings. Maybe I'll find the right combination one of these days."

I really liked this kid. I asked, "Do you have a list of questions yet? You've had a few days to develop some."

Phil said, "I have a couple, but they're questions that I'm sure I can get the answers from the staff here. My training has been to get answers from the rank and file before going higher up to get answers. I know to call Dorothy for anything important, and I can call you for the same thing. Your Kelly, or maybe Joan, actually, who answered a question for me after she asked Rebecca. I can get the answers without being a pain in the butt."

"You will never be a pain in the butt, Phil. Ask anything, anytime you have a question. I want you to be successful. Now let's tour your dynasty."

We did what I always do by beginning in Sales. Frank was talking to one of the salespeople when we came in and immediately came over and shook my hand. "Absolutely perfect timing. Look at that board. Now watch as my secretary puts up the latest news."

The sales secretary got up and began printing the new sale on the board in the fourth position. She did the fifth and then the sixth when she had that printed. Frank said; "Look at that, six sales before noon. We are so good. It's actually the way we advertise that's so good. We're really cranking here. Phil is the man, since he was out at the models in both developments Saturday and Sunday. I'm told he was instrumental in the sale of a custom home Sunday. We are in the green."

I told Frank, "Keep up the good work and keep your people selling. The more you sell the more people you will have to sell. It's one of those self-propelling movements."

I wanted to say hi to the decorators from Sales. Kitty wasn't in, but her new secretary was. She was a dream and I'd bet was a personal friend of Kitty. She told me she would tell Kitty that I was in the office. This secretary spent far too much time checking out the zipper on my suit pants. These people were strange.

We went up to Finance from there, and spoke with Burt. He was happy to be busy and had a new assistant. He told me that he was now hooked up with a few real estate groups, including the local Century 21 people, and was getting about five apps a day from outside agencies.

Melissa was busy in Accounting next door as the auditors were really beating up on her. I told the men that this woman was an honest employee who didn't turn anyone in because she was afraid for her life. One man understood and said that he wouldn't badger Melissa any longer, but still needed her help.

Melissa asked where Jules was and I had to tell her the same story as I told Eloise. She told me, "Jules told me about your relationship, and I thought it was so special that you brought her with you and that she wanted to help you. I'll bet you two are together for a very long time." Jules obviously didn't tell Melissa about Katie. What would the world think if I were to bring both of them with me?

Phil and I went back downstairs to say hi to the new Title Company lady, Clare Friendly. Clare jumped up and came to me and gave me a hug when I walked in with Phil. She looked up at me with a smiling face and teary eyes, and said, "You have given me and the ladies a new life. This man next to you is so sweet and gracious to us that we all envy his wife, if he ever gets one. Thank you, Brad. Thank you for rescuing us from a life of mediocrity."

I looked around and could tell that they were busy. I asked, "How many closings will you have this week?"

Clare said, "Twelve, I think, unless we can get some more through appraisals and surveys. That will be a big week for us, and we may have to gear up for over twenty the way the office is selling."

Phil grinned his shit eating grin because he could feel his office's enthusiasm.

Yori was just getting up from the table as Phil sat behind his desk back in his office and said, "Thanks for coming to see what I've been enjoying. You fired these people up and told me how to keep on doing it. I'm excited and know this branch office can be important to the company, Brad."

"You're right about this office being important, Phil. You're the difference between this being a closed office and one that's selling the hell out of its assets. Keep it up. Do you mind if I get my people together and leave for Salt Lake?"

"Not a problem, Brad. You did exactly what you said you would. I'm really stoked to be able to run this place and be a leader of an office that's doing business. Tell the other offices of my size to look out because I'm going to be the one to look up to."

I was able to pry Kelly away from Eloise, and then found Yori talking to the security men again. We were back in the car on the way to the airport and Kelly called the pilot. He said that he already had the aircraft refueled and was going to begin the startup procedures.

I was turning in the rental car and getting on the aircraft minutes later. The hostess made sure we were seated and buckled up before locking the door. Yori was in the co-pilot's seat, and the sweetheart of a hostess was sitting across from Kelly and me. Kelly was a motor mouth for most of the flight as she related what Eloise had been spewing. A lot of it was nonsense, but the one thing that stood out was that Kitty wasn't attacking anyone, and the new man was a jewel so far.

We both had a cup of coffee as we flew to Salt Lake City. We landed at the capital of the Mormon world at two thirty. We entered the office there before three. A young lady whom I didn't know greeted us, and I asked for Sheila Summers. She looked at me funny, and asked, "Are you the Brad guy who Sheila says she's expecting and wants to marry?"

It was a toss-up between Kelly and me at who laughed loudest. I told the receptionist, "You're going to have to not listen to everything Sheila says, or rather think you know what she means. The woman is somewhat of prankster about a lot of things."

"Oh no, Sir, Sheila is very definite about stealing Brad from whoever it is who has captured him. She says her sister, Rose, will even help. Is Rose a part of the company?"

I wish I had a recording of this for her mother and father. Sheila was as bad as Rose at making people believe things that weren't real. Kelly had separated from us and went down the hall to the Manager's office. A squeal let us know that Sheila was there.

Sheila and Kelly came running out, and Sheila told the receptionist, "Lock the door, I'm going to do this guy right here in the lobby. Clear that desk so he can do me."

The poor girl just stood there with her mouth open. Sheila ran around to the other side of the receptionist counter and hugged the girl. "I'm sorry, Mandy; I know you're not used to me. I do crazy stuff all the time, so you have to have an open mind and not think I'll do everything I say. Hang with me and I'll try to be better, Sweetheart."

Sheila said to me, "That doesn't mean I don't get some in the Manager's office."

Damn, the woman went from being sweet to ornery in milliseconds.

April was watching us closely when we were finally settled in the Manager's office and I asked, "Okay, Sheila, you have to have some questions. Give them to me."

"Only a few, actually, Brad. I've been an Assistant long enough to run into most of everything that has happened. I did find a decent realtor who is going to work out fine. The few salespeople we have sold a total of seven homes over the weekend. We already have one sale today, but I want some big days. There's no reason why we can't have four sales a day. That would be one inventory home, one custom, and two listings. I will be happy if we mix and match those any way you want, and do that daily.

"You'll have to build up to that, Sheila. You'll have the anomaly of a big day during the week like last week and an occasional weekend of unprecedented volume. The idea is consistency, continuity, and ongoing referrals."

We went for a walk through the sales process. First was the new Sales Manager, followed by Randal in Finance. We checked on Flori in Accounting from there, who said that Sheila had been constantly asking for numbers. The Title Office Manager, Barbara Monterey, was very happy to see me and said that she thought Mooney was nuts to offer so many bonuses for doing what a Title Office was supposed to do.

I asked Sheila, "Is there anything that you don't feel comfortable with?"

She honestly answered me, "This is one strange place. You can't just go buy beer or a bottle. You have to go through hoops to drink anything, and you have to be buying food or something to buy a six pack of 3.2 beer and have a background check to buy a bottle. I didn't think I was ever a drunk or something, but these people make you feel like it. I like something at night, but I don't necessarily want to eat late at night. I ask for a hot dog and then a drink. I take the hot dog outside and feed it to a Mexican begging on the sidewalk. Crazy."

I finally asked her, "Can you figure out a way to enjoy firing up this office for the next young Assistant who needs a starting place?"

"Sure, Brad, I wanted this more than you could know, and you've given it to me. Let me make this into something special for you and the company, and then give me a new challenge. I love the opportunity and I would love to be under you every night."

"Naughty, naughty, young lady. I'm not available and don't do that stuff with employees anyway."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all about how you feel about doing the nasty with employees. My sis says you can be had, and it is so if she says so. I'll sample you one of these days. Just think about it."

Kelly had heard this, and was choking to keep from laughing. I told Sheila, "I'm on my way to Sacramento if you don't have any more questions."

Sheila came to me and gave me a full body hug with a kiss that promised me everything. She said, "Come back and visit with me again to make sure I'm doing it right."

"You're doing everything right so far, Sheila. Keep doing it exactly like that. Call me if you have any questions."

We called the pilot on the way to the airport. We were in the air by four and in Sacramento by five thirty. Kelly found hotel rooms for the pilot and hostess, and then us while we were still on the airplane. It was early enough for us to find the office and observe activity there after five. That needed to cease unless it was something that had to done after hours. We found our hotel and checked in. Yori said he was going to take a nap and then find something for supper. I wanted something to drink and a snack before a real meal.

Kelly was with me when I tried the hotel bar. It was filled with fat business travelers and hookers. One of the women there came up to Kelly and told her to beat it as this was their territory. Kelly took my hand, and said, "No one, absolutely no one, gets near this guy or they will die."

Her warning alarmed the woman who had come up to us so fast but she rushed away to somewhere unknown.

I told Kelly, "This is the State Capitol, so there are probably a lot of good places to eat and drink. Let's ask and find somewhere good. The concierge directed us to the 'La Hacienda' to enjoy some south of the border snacks and some kick ass drinks.

Kelly and I had some various snacks and drinks, but I didn't want to vary too far from my usual. Kelly tried some of their tequila drinks, while I stayed with Beefeaters. You have to be careful with tequila because it's a sneaky liquor. You have a little, then a little more, and then it sneaks up on you and you're toasted. Kelly was on her fourth 'small' drink or so they said, when she admitted to me, "You know what, 'Kemo Sabe'? I'm drunk on my ass and don't give a shit if I eat or not. Tell me what to do."

I made sure my secretary ate well and then took her to the hotel. I found a Walmart and bought some Alka-Seltzer. I had to wake her up to drink it, but that was the right thing to do.

Beep, beep, beep.

I was up quickly and went to see if Kelly had kept from puking on herself. She was clean but didn't want to wake up. I told her, "You need to get up and work out. You need to sweat that nasty stuff out and get your body working. We'll stop by the food court and get a banana so you can recover."

She finally got out of bed totally bare and hugged me, saying, "You should have fucked me as a nightcap last night. I would have enjoyed it."

"Get your clothes on and the workout will do you some good."

Yori had seen Kelly's condition last night and was smiling at me for making her work so hard. I wanted her to sweat out everything in her system. I love to drink and get funny, but I don't like the recovery. I don't know anyone who enjoys trying to get their head back together after a big night.

Kelly was feeling a lot better by the time she had sweat for over a half hour and drank a cup of coffee. We cleaned up and went down for another decent hotel breakfast. We packed our clothes and put the suitcases and hanging bags in the trunk of the car, knowing that it was Wednesday which was earlier than we had anticipated being in Sacramento.

We arrived at the office at seven forty and there already were several cars in the lot. We went into the lobby to be greeted by a stunning platinum blonde. "Hi, may I help you? We don't open until eight thirty, but maybe I can direct you."

I said, "I'm Brad Johnson, and I'd like to see Dino Courtesina, the Office Manager."

"Whoa there, Buddy, you even pronounced his name right. Let me get him for you."

I began going toward the Manager's office when I heard, "Hey, hey! I said I would get him. This is my office and you don't go anywhere until I give you permission. Stand right here."

The woman used the phone and talked to someone for just a second.

A round man with laugh wrinkles by his eyes came running out of the hallway and almost fell at my knees. I grabbed his hand and said, "Glad to meet you, Dino."

He was wild-eyed when he said, "This beast here is Kajinka the terrible. She's the guardian of those she likes."

I said, "That's an unusual name."

The woman asked, "Do you mean Kajinka?"

"Yes, that is unusual."

"It would be unusual if it really was Kajinka, but it isn't. My name is Julia Sorrento, and I'm not a Kajinka the way these creatures speak of me. I don't even know what a Kajinka is. I get a new name every time I try to deflect someone from them. Last week it was Deleteatina because I was going to delete some of them. It was Smasherina the week before because I backed into a trashcan. I think Kajinka comes from a crazy Japanese pinball game."

I think I found an office that had fun. I finally asked, "Do you have a real name, or just a name of the day?"

The woman looked at me in a strange way before going to her purse and pulling her driver's license. She handed it to me and said, "Call me by that name, and I will eat your balls as if they were the day's treats. I'm Kajinka or Julia Sorrento right now."

The driver's license said Millicent Wombatter. I looked at her, winked, and gave her license back. She put it back in her purse and tucked it under the desk. "Okay, Wombi, I want to check the office out, and who is Julia Sorrento?"