Chapter 3

Did you ever have that 'sinking' feeling that something was just not right? Well I had one!

I also said that, perhaps, 'I had changed!'

More correctly, though, these girls had changed me. For the better, and now I did not know 'What to do?'

Several important things came out of our night together. We all knew each other's age, marital status, hopes, wishes and deepest desires and one more thing, Okay, two maybe. That we could be friends, we enjoyed each other's company, there were no skeletons in the closet so to speak and sexually seemed to be willing to accept everything each had to offer. Okay, maybe that was more than two things, so sue me.

The fact that we had been able to talk things over, meet some adult type challenges body-on and overcome whatever obstacles we met; said a lot about all of us. There was no doubt that something happened that night to make us more than friends. There were going to be many more things though, each of us would further need to meet and beat however.

One thing that was nagging at me and that I did not know how to handle it was the age difference between Beth and me. My feelings just went from like to smoldering love in one night. I could imagine her as... !

What was I thinking? Why was I thinking that? I knew the reason. Deep down I knew the reason but did not want to admit it, not to myself and especially not to her.

The 'We Five' moniker had also come to have a 'special' meaning for us, all of us. When I got divorced, I promised that I would never find anyone with which to make that same mistake with again. I readily adapted to and accepted the idea of the 'We Five' though. The entire concept provided the proper mix of relief, fun, and frivolity without any of the complications a marriage would bring. So why was my feeling for Beth so much different? Now that I found her I did not want to be without her and it was for fun and frivolity I assure you.

The line some English Bard or Lord wrote kept crossing my mind. 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.' Criminy, poetry! What has Beth done to me?

(Short version of the Poem)

Hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all

I had to recall the reason for that poem. When Tennyson wrote it, he had lost his best friend unexpectedly. The poem shows that life must move on, no matter how hard it is and how much you miss someone. In this case, I wanted to keep and not lose what the 'We Five' had together, yet I wanted so much more with Beth. I did not want to lose her or them! There, in the deep recesses back of my mind though, I knew, just knew it was not right. The age difference I mean, however...

I had to ask myself if this was 'Having your cake and be able to eat it too'.

Then there were those things called, pride, envy, jealousy, hurt, breakup and revenge, which plagued most 'bonds'. If Beth was not one to 'share', I knew how I might react when or if she told me about 'this' guy at school; or 'He's in college' and so lonely this summer.

Better just to say; 'Adios' now, Right?

Some sort of answer to these new 'life little challenges could be seen all around me though. I just had to 'open' my eyes. In this case, even one eye, Beth, my first little Angel was sleeping on top of me. The other three were strewn all about like bookends on a shelf only we were on the floor of the room. Seeing the scene, I thought; 'How could not anyone fall for them?' I pulled that little body on top a little closer. Perhaps 'Tweedledum and Tweedledee' or the other sage advice from 'Alice Through The Looking Glass' by Lewis Carroll had things right with:

'The time has come, the Walrus said,

To talk of many things:

Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax—

Of cabbages—and kings—

And why the sea is boiling hot-

And whether pigs have wings.'

Thinking about things like I had been doing is tiring; time to get moving on to other things. 'C'est la Vie.'

Best to just live life and enjoy the good along with coping with the bad I reasoned.

It was possible I would change my mind about them if any began to snore or I should awaken before this wonderful Brandy induced dream ended; maybe even if I returned to my prior reality someway. For now, I would just meet whatever this new life threw at me 'head on'. (A bridge for sale too, very cheap)

I gently kissed my little Angel and fell back asleep. She too held me tighter now and had a smile on her face. Dreams might be contagious.

I knew this was not all a dream when I kept thinking about having to call Sheila back. What I no longer needed was another wheel added to our bus. I fumbled around for that cell. I could have used the phones in the room but on the cell, I just pushed re-dial. I found the cell about the same time as one of my 'partners' let out a groan. The call, both on the cell, the one from nature, and food now were given their queue priority. I called, it rang, Sheila answered.

"I just wanted to call you back."

"Thanks. I need you to do me a 'Big' favour."

"Stop! I have so many favours to 'DO' now that I might not be in so great a shape for you."

"Ha! I mean I need you to sign some forms, dispense some vitamins, Meds and give a few shots at a shelter here in town. I used to have a Doctor or RN do it but they married and moved away. Imagine that, a Doctor and Nurse; almost as strange as a Doctor and a patients little sister, ehh? Anyway, we get them 'free' as long as the drugs are 'secure', the injections done by a licensed source and there are 30 or 40 max that need shots once a month or so. I can store everything here. Will you do it?"

"Well the Great State of Virginia still calls me a Doctor and I have a bit of free time so as long as I stay around I guess I can."

"We need to deliver a few today and only 15 injections. Is that Okay? I can pick you up or meet you."

"Ahh, we are at 'The Jefferson'. The girls were going shopping then..."

"Mandy and her Sister, is she Okay. Can I go shopping too; I can play nice in groups, when I have to."

"She had to go to ER yesterday. We just stayed over. I was going to take them to Judy's shop to get each a dress then drop-off whoever needed a ride to car or home, wherever. I suppose one more 'lost puppy' going along would be fine."

"I get off at noon, half day today. I can bring some Meds and things with me and the shelter is not far from your Hotel."

"Okay, fine. We can leave when you get here. Man, I hope the Mall had a good men's store too."

'New sequence of events now, Gang! Hit the head, no more sleep, shower, clothes on then when Sheila gets here we go to the shelter; get food and shopping done before I take you home.' No one seemed to be listening to what I was saying.

Whew! Busy day planned! At least they all had homes. I needed to find a place too or move on.

Gentle taps to some tempting rumps followed by an urging to get ready did not work well. A repeat with a light slap on those same rumps with the 'get ready for company' had a much better response. Soon I was left alone except for clothes, pillows, blankets, shoes, bottles, empty booze you name it. I did the man thing. I called the desk.

"Ginger, its Bob Matthews, can I get a late 'check out', maybe if I am not here, move me to a single room tonight. Oh, I apologize, we, Ugh, my... , I mean this room is a bit un-tidy. Would you have anyone that might clean up a bit. I will be happy to pay extra. Thanks Ginger!"

Why woman always say housekeeping is so much work, I do not know, it took just one call.

Ten more minutes went by, I thought we all would then be ready to go. Okay, it was more than Ten minutes, but Thirty minutes or so more went by. In only 9 minutes and 27 seconds I had showered, pulled on a polo shirt, Levi Jeans and was going out to find my shoes. I realized Wing Tips might look out of place. Still no girls showing signs they were ready yet.

The doorbell rang, I opened it for the house cleaner, I thought.