Chapter 32: Starting Over From Scratch, Part III

August 1981, Milford, Ohio

“I told Stephanie everything,” Jennifer said. “All the stuff you and I talked about last night and this morning, plus we talked about some things from our own relationship in the past and how it caused serious problems for the three of us.”

“I’m sorry, Big Brother,” my sister said, obviously chagrined. “I know I’ve apologized before, but I need to say it again. I stuck my nose in things I shouldn’t have and created a huge mess for you. I hurt both of you badly. I’ve learned my lesson.”

“I owe you an apology as well, Squirt,” I said. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it was a mistake to let you read my journal when you were so young. There was so much in there that I wasn’t even ready for, but it was happening to me, so I had to deal with it. You shouldn’t have had to. You helped me a lot because of it, but I think it hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“I love you, Steve. In the end, that’s all that matters,” Stephanie said.

“I love you too, Stephanie.”

“So, now that we know that we all love each other, what’s the plan for the day?” Jennifer said with a laugh.

“Could we use the sauna?” Stephanie asked. “I’ve only been in there once and it was awesome.”

“Sure, Squirt. Nobody else is here, but I’ll give you the same warning I always give Melanie — you have to behave.”

“Oh, poo!” Stephanie said with a big grin.

Jennifer laughed. “I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to Mary at the party. How is she doing?”

We got off the couch and walked up the stairs. I turned on the sauna and we went to Jennifer’s room to wait for it to warm up.

“She’s in love. In fact, unless I miss my guess, she’ll be going steady with Josh Richards, one of Kara’s friends from church,” I said.

“Mary? Steady? No way!” Jennifer said.

“Yeah, not like Ben, where she had freedom because they were, in effect, just lovers. She’s really in love with Josh. He’ll be a Senior when he gets back from Sweden. She’ll be a Freshman in college, but she’s going to OSU, so she’ll be able to see him, kind of like Pete and Melanie did.”

“Are you playing matchmaker again, Steve?” Jennifer smirked.

“Yep. Those two belong together. The same as with Pete and Melanie and Tracey and Marty.”

“I’m in the dark on that one. What’s up with those two? They seemed to be in awe of you and treat you like some kind of god.”

“Oh,” Stephanie smirked, “my Big Brother just HAD to show off. He took a girl who basically hated herself and turned her into one of the most sought after girls in the entire High School!”

“Wait? What did I miss?” I asked.

“Tracey got asked out by about a dozen guys after you did your thing. She never told you?”

“No! She talked to me about Marty, but that’s it. That’s awesome, though.”

“Rewind, please!” Jennifer said.

“She asked me to the Sadie Hawkins’ Day Dance. It took a lot of courage for her to do that, but I’d been nice to her in Biology lab when I was the TA. She shyly asked if I’d give her a make-out session afterwards like was traditional. I told her that I would. One of the cheerleaders decided to be nasty to Tracey and when I tried to get her to calm down, she basically told me that no guy would ever want to have sex with her. I told her I would.”

“Never mind, I get it,” Jennifer said with a laugh. “She was a shy virgin with no self-confidence. Now she’s one of the best lays in the school!”

The sauna was surely warm, so I simply stripped and walked down the hall. The girls giggled and followed. I put towels on the benches and poured a lot of water onto the rocks. We sat down, with one girl on each side of me. I hoped Stephanie would behave!

“Oh, it’s more than that,” Stephanie smirked.

“What do you mean, more?” Jennifer asked, looking at me.

I smiled, “She and Marty started dating — that was after I helped Tracey get her birth control — and they tried to have anal sex. They had no idea what they were doing, so they stopped. She came to me, with not just permission but encouragement from Marty, for a lesson. You know how I told you that Katt was willing to do it with me any time? Well, Tracey was hooked. I think she actually prefers it. She’s a wild one, that girl!”

“Holy smokes, Steve!”

“Yeah,” I said with a huge grin. “Now you know why. It’s why Marty was just fine with a threesome with me and Tracey. I think he was hoping to pick up some pointers!”

“That’s one line you won’t cross, though,” Jennifer said.

“Well, I told Mary I would if she gave me her last cherry. She declined. I told Melanie I would if she had a threesome with Pete and another girl first. She also declined.”

“That’s just mean!!” Jennifer said, laughing. “You knew that neither of those girls would do those things!”

“Yeah, but I’m off the hook now! They can’t complain. They are the ones who wouldn’t cross their own lines!”

“That’s just evil!” Jennifer said, laughing. “It’s too evil, but I love it!”

“Jennifer, did he tell you how he got Kara to go on a date with him?” Stephanie said with an impish smile.

“Squirt? Do you want to live to be fifteen?” I said with an equally silly smile.

“Oh do tell!” Jennifer said.

I sighed theatrically, “Well, she thought the computer dating thing was immoral, and I told her I was sure that we matched on more things than she expected. She didn’t believe me, so I bet her that we’d match on more than half. If I won, she had to go out with me for ice cream. If she won, I wouldn’t be allowed to talk to her for the rest of my Senior year unless she spoke to me first.”

“Wait, I remember those forms. Most people match around half!”

“Exactly.”

“Oh, you sneaky bastard!” Jennifer laughed. “I was right, you were a real prick.”

“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” I smirked. “And the end result was just fine. Of course, it’s been touch-and-go at times, but I like where it ended up. And who really won in that situation?”

“You did, you jerk! You got Kara,” Stephanie giggled. “She lost because she’s stuck with you!”

Both girls laughed hard.

“Nice. My sister AND my oldest, dearest friend and lover picking on me. Thanks SO much,” I said, feigning annoyance.

“Oh, stuff it, Big Brother!” Stephanie giggled. “You know better! Besides, you’re sitting between TWO former lovers, both with smoking hot bodies, both of whom think you are fantastic in bed!”

“I am NOT a former lover, Miss Stephanie Ann Adams!” Jennifer said haughtily, “I got him last night, which you well know.”

I could see where this was going. The question was, did I really want it to go there? What would it do to my relationship with each of the girls? How would it affect my relationship with Kara? For sure, I wouldn’t tell her about this, and I certainly didn’t need to, unless it counted as not behaving. The problem was, I couldn’t tell Joyce or Bethany about this, and Stephanie was involved. That presented a dilemma.

“Yes, yes, you got him to make love to you,” Stephanie smirked. “Big deal! He got all three of my cherries in less than two hours when I was fourteen! And nobody is better than me!”

“OK, girls, this is NOT a contest!” I said, though I’m sure I wasn’t convincing.

“Oh stop it, Steve! You want it as much as either of us does,” Stephanie said.

“Time out, Squirt,” I said. “This isn’t something to get into by teasing and joking. If we’re going to do this, it has to be considered carefully. And it sure as hell can’t be here. If anyone came home and found us, there would be hell to pay of the highest order.”

“Sorry, Big Brother.”

We sat quietly in the sauna for another twenty minutes, then we each took a shower, dried off and then dressed.

“We still have a bit of time. Let’s just go hang out in the basement until lunch. Where should we go to eat?”

“How about the deli, for old times’ sake,” Jennifer said.

“Fine with me,” I said.

We went to the basement, and the girls sat on the couch and I sat in a chair across from them.

“When you suggested a sauna, Squirt, did you have an ulterior motive? Something you and Jennifer discussed? And if so, doesn’t that go against every single thing we talked about, Jennifer?”

“It was just me,” Stephanie said. “Please don’t blame Jennifer. We didn’t even talk about it. I just thought it would be fun to tease you. That was a big mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. It’s that kind of stuff that got us in trouble before. If you two want to do that, then we need to talk about it, openly and honestly. You know we’re not intimate now, Squirt. Do you even want me that way?”

She sat for a minute, thinking. I knew how she felt. I had the exact same question. Was it a good idea to do this? Was it putting a huge temptation before us that could lead to us falling back into the behavior pattern that we had just broken on the Chicago visit? Or could we do this today, this one time, and then go on until some theoretical last fuck; one that I was fairly sure was a bad idea for a host of reasons?

“Is that even the question?” she asked. “I think the first question is, what does Jennifer want? I know you guys made love last night, but maybe that was the last time. After all, she was pretty clear that she understands you’re going to be with Kara. What do you think, Jennifer?”

“I have no God damned idea,” Jennifer said. “Last night was perfect. It was beautiful, and tender, and sweet. I’m not sure I want anything wild. I mean, we didn’t do anything except straight, missionary style sex and that was exactly what I needed. And I know your brother prefers that.”

“Well, yes and no. But that’s not important right now. You didn’t really answer my question!” Stephanie said.

“It’s something I wanted for ages. I guess it would depend on what we did. I don’t want to fuck. I want to make love. There has to be something more to it than just putting the right parts together. If it hadn’t been for the date last night, your brother and I wouldn’t have gotten together that way. I think he realized that and that’s why it happened the way it did. I don’t have an answer right now. Let’s just put it aside and have lunch. We have all day and all evening.”

“I think that’s smart, Jen,” I said.

We hung out until noon, then went to the deli for lunch. Andreas was happy to see Jennifer and insisted that our lunches were on the house. I knew arguing with him was useless! He reminded me to make my call as soon as I got to Chicago and then left us alone.

“How about I cook for the two of you?” I asked.

“Where?” Jennifer asked.

Stephanie broke up laughing. “Where do you think?!”

“Oh! Of course! Is that wise?”

“Jennifer, if we’re going to do it, it won’t be an accident. If we aren’t, then it doesn’t matter. When we finish lunch, we’ll go to Fazio’s and get something for me to cook and UDF to get some hand-packed ice cream.”

“I’d like that,” Jennifer said. “OK with you, Stephanie?”

“Yes, of course. The only things my Big Brother does even close to how well he fucks are computers and cooking.”

“Squirt, you might not live until Saturday, let alone your fifteenth birthday in March,” I teased.

“Tell me it’s not true!” she said, sticking out her tongue.

This was actually a moment of truth. If I teased now, I was committed. But the thing was, the prerequisite for the three of us was Stephanie and I agreeing it was OK. I believed that she stuck her tongue out as an offer. I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure this was a good idea, but I’d make the offer.

“Don’t do that unless you plan to use it!” I smirked.

She smiled, having won her point, “Just tell me where, Big Brother,” she said softly.

I leaned over and whispered, “If Jennifer is fine with it, her pussy, my dick, and anywhere else you want to put it.”

“Oh,” she gasped, turning bright red. She leaned in close, “Jennifer, do you want to make love?”

“Oh my God, yes!” she whispered, quivering. “With both of you!”

“Then finish your lunches, we’ll go shopping, and talk about it,” I said.

“Talk about it?” Stephanie asked.

“Yes. Remember what I said earlier.”

“You can be a real asshole, Big Brother!” Stephanie giggled.

“You can have it there, too, if you want!” I teased.

“Oh, stop you two!” Jennifer said with a grin.

We finished eating our sandwiches and then drove the short distance to Fazio’s. I bought veal, mushrooms and the rest of the things I needed for scaloppini. After the grocery store, we went to United Dairy Farmers and bought some hand-packed ice cream for dessert. Stephanie joked that we should get fixings for sundaes.

“But neither of you has any cherries left! I got them all!” I smirked.

They both smacked me lightly on the shoulder and laughed.

“But that’s not true, Steve,” Jennifer said quietly.

“Sure it is. I got your last one last night.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Stephanie said. “You’ve done all that stuff with her before.”

“No, last night was special. It was the very first time that Jennifer and I made love with complete openness and complete honesty, with nothing held back. I’d call that her first time. And she should as well.”

“That sounds like what you told Bethany,” Jennifer said.

“Yes, and with good reason,” I said.

“Damn, Steve. I don’t know what to say,” she said, a tear running down her cheek.

I pulled her into a tight hug, stroked her hair, and kissed her forehead. We went back to the car and drove to the apartment. I put the groceries away and then got three Cokes from the fridge. We sat down — the girls on the couch and me in the comfortable chair.

“I want to be sure we’re all comfortable with this,” I said.

“Jeez, Big Brother, you are the most cautious, over-protective guy I’ve ever met. How the hell did you get laid so much?”

Jennifer giggled, “I once questioned how he managed to tie his shoes, let alone figure out how to fuck!”

“Yes, yes, and Kara wondered the same thing, and wondered how I ever managed to get laid in the first place.”

“She said stuff like that to you?” Jennifer said. “I like this girl even more!”

Stephanie smiled, “You know how Joyce wouldn’t tolerate his ‘bullshit’ as she called it? Well, neither would Kara. The difference was that she smacked him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper and rubbed his nose in the bullshit just like you would a puppy. I guess it worked. I think you recognized that.”

“Yeah, like I said, anyone who could change Steve the way he’s changed deserves him. I mean that. But why the hell are we talking? Wait, first, how long did you make Kara wait?”

“Five months or so,” I said.

“Jesus, Steve!” Jennifer exclaimed. “Seriously? I mean, there’s cautious and then there’s just ridiculous. You made Bethany wait forever, too!”

“And I made Katt wait several months. Look, I’m cautious for a reason. When I’m not, I end up with Dona or Annie.”

“That’s a good point,” Jennifer said. “Though not every time, Pia seemed to work out OK.”

“True. So, girls, are there any limits here?”

“None for me, Big Brother. You know exactly what I want.”

“None for me, Steve. I want exactly the same thing.”

“And what is that?” I asked without any smirking or laughter.

Stephanie looked at Jennifer and said, “I want to make love with Jennifer. And I want you to watch. When we finish, then you can join us.”

“God, yes! Now!” Jennifer said, reaching her hand to Stephanie to pull her close.

The girls scooted close together on the couch and tentatively touched their lips together. A second later, I thought they were going to devour each other, their mouths wide open and their tongues tangling. Stephanie’s hands quickly went to Jennifer’s chest, fondling Jennifer’s breasts through her blouse. Jennifer’s hands ran up and down Stephanie’s back and both girls moaned softly.

I sat, enthralled, as the girls fumbled with each other’s blouses, kissing frantically and unbuttoning and removing the other girl’s blouse. Jennifer’s hands went to Stephanie’s back and quickly unhooked and removed her bra. Without waiting, she dipped her head down and began suckling my little sister’s breast.

Stephanie moaned softly, “Oh wow!”