Chapter 2: She Did It Again, Part II

June 1981, Milford, Ohio

I didn’t detect any hints that Dad may have suspected anything. It seemed like a legitimate question about what was simply a very close sibling relationship. Of course, that didn’t mean he didn’t suspect something. I figured with my dad’s life experience, he was a damn good poker player.

“You’re wondering how she fits into this mix?” I asked with a bit of trepidation.

He nodded.

“You know how close we are. We share everything. In fact, she probably knows me better than anyone on earth. She’s always been there when I’ve needed her, even if that meant slapping me upside the head,” I grinned, as did my dad. “That was about Becky, by the way. Stephanie’s concern then, as it is now, was that she thinks Jennifer and I belong together. She’s thought that since I was in ninth grade. She loves Jennifer and wants it to work out. She’s upset now, probably as much as I am. Stephanie has always looked out for me, and I listen to her advice about girls. She’s pretty smart for a fourteen-year-old.”

“Your sister has always been a smart cookie. She may not get straight A’s like you do, but she’s really smart and has a lot of common sense.”

“That she does,” I agreed. “When the incident with Becky happened, she, Kara, and Bethany worked together to keep me on the straight and narrow. I was lucky to have them as friends, and lucky to have Kara as a girlfriend. Jennifer would have cut my balls off and put them in a jar on her bookshelf for what I did; and rightly so.”

“Yes, that would be a reasonable reaction to cheating,” Dad said, chuckling. “I assume you learned your lesson?”

“Oh yes, I did! And with the Triumvirate’s help, I basically have my head screwed on straight.”

“Wait!” he chuckled. “The Triumvirate?”

“Yeah, the Triumvirate,” I laughed. “That’s what we ended up calling Stephanie, Bethany, and Kara! But,” I continued, getting back on track, “whatever Mom’s problem is, I can’t let it interfere with my relationship with Stephanie. Jennifer once warned me not to mess that up because it would likely mess me up also, and I think she has a point. Stephanie and I depend on each other a lot, and I can’t let Mom wreck that.”

“You two have an odd relationship for siblings, Son. Sometimes it’s almost like you two are married! Well, without the sex, anyway. You two get along better than a lot of married couples!”

Well, at least that ‘without the sex’ comment meant that he didn’t suspect anything was going on. Either that, or he was looking for a reaction from me. I kept my face as passive as possible and didn’t avert my gaze. Of course, if Stephanie kept sneaking into my room, eventually things would go horribly wrong. As for acting like we were married, well, even Kara had made that point before she knew about the attraction Stephanie and I had for one another.

“My friends have said that, too,” I answered. “And I want to thank you for helping with Mom. I know it’s tough. I’m sorry for the problems it’s caused you.”

“She has hang-ups about pre-marital sex. She’s worried your sister is going to have sex too soon and, of course, she’s concerned about pregnancies. I think you’ve figured it all out, haven’t you?”

That ship had sailed a few months ago, at least with regard to Stephanie having sex. Becky’s pregnancy, well, that secret was not going to be revealed. And given my baby sister was on the Pill, that wasn’t going to happen with us.

“Yeah, given I was born sixteen months after you two got married and mom had a miscarriage before you guys had me, the math really works only one way.”

“Yes, it does,” my dad confirmed. “And that’s her hang-up. She can’t get past it. In your case, from what you’ve said, you’re very careful, and what I’ve seen confirms that. But that doesn’t stop her from worrying, and her worry comes out in irrational behavior.”

“It sure does. My real concern is that she’s going to take it out on Stephanie. Mom will look for anything she can use to try to drive a wedge between us, and I just can’t accept that.”

“I know, Son. Just be careful with your mother. Things went really well for months. I’m sorry they didn’t stay that way. It’s only a couple of months until you head to Chicago, so if you can avoid confrontation, I’d appreciate it.”

Of course, that was easier said than done, because I wasn’t initiating the conflict directly. Mom objected to my values and how I lived my life, and that I couldn’t change to her liking. I didn’t rub her nose in it by making out with my girlfriends at home, didn’t talk about what I did and didn’t do anything on purpose to upset her.

“That’s easier said than done. She just doesn’t accept how I’ve chosen to live my life. I don’t know why she thinks all of a sudden I’m going to start agreeing with her. I don’t flaunt it. In fact, I’ve avoided bringing any of my friends here except for parties and special occasions. But that’s not good enough for her. I do need her to stop calling my female friends sluts, though. That’s just not acceptable.”

“On that, I agree. I’ve asked her to stop and told her that it only makes her look crazy, especially to nice young women like Kara and Bethany.”

“Thanks. I hope she listens. I would like to have my friends over more this Summer, but if I can’t, I can’t.”

We finished our lunch and then headed back home. It had been really good to sit and talk with my dad, something I probably should have done a lot sooner. I had let my terrible relationship with my mom and my dad’s treatment of me when I was much younger negatively influence my attitude towards him. I resolved to change that going forward.

I went to my room and Stephanie came in almost immediately.

“I got a lecture from Mom about you and how terrible you are,” Stephanie said.

“I hope you just let her rant and didn’t argue with her,” I said.

“I didn’t argue. She’s not happy, I guess, because Dad laid down the law about you and me.”

“Speaking of you and me, you need to be a lot more careful about sneaking in here. If we get caught, we’re dead.”

“I know. But I need you, Big Brother! I’ll try. And I still do want to talk to you about Jennifer.”

“This is really eating you up, isn’t it, Squirt?” I said, pulling her into my arms.

As much as I was angry with Jennifer, I still loved my little sister and could understand the pain she was going through with everything that had happened.

“You know why,” Stephanie sighed. “I love her as much as you do! I can’t believe you would just let her walk away so easily. And I’m really worried that if you go steady with Kara again, you’ll end up marrying her and never give Jennifer a chance.”

“Why should I give her a chance after everything she’s done?” I asked softly, releasing Stephanie from my arms and stepping back.

“Because you love each other, Steve,” she whined. “You love each other!”

“We did. I’m not sure she loves me at this point. I can’t see how she could say she loves me if she couldn’t tell me something so important to our future.”

“Would you please talk to her? Please?” she begged.

“No.” I said firmly. “I can’t talk to her right now. And honestly, with what she’s done, I think it does come down to Bethany or Kara. And before you say it, I’m not obsessing or freaking out. Although Katt would tell me that I’m nuts, thinking about my future wife at eighteen, and having just graduated from High School, this is a far different thing than thinking about it when I was fifteen. I am a much different person now.”

“Please don’t make that decision before you talk to Jennifer!”

“I’m not making it today, or even next week. But I will decide something before I leave for Chicago in August. I’m pretty sure I know what I want, but I want to think more about it.”

“You’re going to ask Kara to marry you, aren’t you?” she said accusingly, but also sounding very sad.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, Squirt. I said I still have to think about it.”

Stephanie got up and walked out of the room without another word. I knew she was unhappy, but I saw no way that things could ever work out with Jennifer. The betrayal was, in some ways, worse than Becky’s. While it was true that Becky had tried to trap me by not taking her birth control pills, she hadn’t lied about it. I had foolishly assumed that she continued to take them. I learned a tough lesson from that. With Jennifer, she made promises, broke them, concealed that she had broken them and then, once I had relied on those promises, only then did she tell me!

I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a while — ride my bike. I went to the garage, pumped up the tires and pedaled down Overlook to Klondyke, then down Klondyke towards the subdivision where Larry and Bethany lived. I wasn’t going to visit them, just pedal through. The ride helped me clear my head and burn off some of the pent-up emotional energy I had. When I arrived home an hour later, I had a strong clarity of purpose. I was sure that I was doing the right thing. While I wouldn’t act on my thoughts until I had let them simmer for a few weeks, I knew what I wanted.

I went to take a shower and dress for my date with Bethany. I picked her up, and we agreed on TGI Friday’s for dinner, and after dinner we went to the Showcase Cinemas to see Outland, starring Sean Connery. We both liked the movie, though it wasn’t outstanding. We went to Farrell’s after the movie let out.

“We’ve avoided talking about what’s going on,” Bethany said. “What are you thinking?”

“I am not making any decisions about anything for a couple of weeks, at least. You know what my options are.”

“Yes. Me or Kara, though Karin is always lurking in the background. And I guess Joyce and Elyse have some sort of outside shot.”

“It’s between you and Kara. I’m not going to risk things by making the two of you wait for a year to know what the situation is.”

She sighed, “That’s good and bad.”

“What do you mean?”

“That means you chose Kara,” Bethany sighed. “I’m sure of it.”

“I haven’t made any final decision. I have a lot of stuff to think through and work through. Didn’t you offer me back to Kara last night?”

“I did, because I know that’s what you want, and I only want the best for you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“And you don’t think you’re the best for me?”

“You idiot!” Bethany exclaimed. “Of course I do! But the only opinion that counts is yours! All I can do is be here for you, just as I’ve been for the last year. And just as you were there for me for two years before that. And I think you’ve already picked Kara.”

A tear ran down her cheek.

“I don’t know what to say,” I replied. “I can’t tell you Kara’s out of the running, just as I can’t tell her that you’re out of consideration. I’m going to be in Chicago for four years and a lot can happen in that time. I don’t even know if either of you will accept the kind of relationship we would need to have given the distance.”

“Steve Adams, you know damn well that both Kara and I will accept a long distance relationship!”

“And if I live with Elyse? And occasionally sleep with Kathy? And maybe Elyse, if she’ll have me? Or Joyce?”

Bethany smiled, “So, I DO have a chance. You know I can accept that on an interim basis. I’m not sure that Kara can.”

“As I said, I have a lot of thinking to do and a lot of talking to do before I decide what to do.”

We were silent for a few moments, just looking at each other, with Bethany probably wondering what I was thinking, as I was wondering the same about her.

“This talk has made me feel good,” Bethany grinned, “How would you like to make me feel even better?”

“I think that could be arranged, Sweetheart!”

We left Farrell’s and headed back to Milford. We went to the apartment and made slow, passionate love. When we finished, we cuddled for a bit.

“So now what?” Bethany asked. “Where are we?”

“Where we are is in bed, in the apartment,” I said goofily. “As for ‘now what?’, I guess we take a shower then go home.”

Bethany elbowed me playfully, “You know what I meant!”

“I won’t make any rash moves or any important decisions until I’m sure I’m not reacting to Jennifer’s betrayal. If you’ll go out with me, I’d like to keep seeing you.”

“If? IF? Are you kidding? You know I will. And so will Kara. Neither of us is going to give you up to the other one until you force the issue. And you will, at some point. I don’t think I need to remind you of why I think I should win.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Good! Now, let’s shower and you can take me home. I know you’re seeing Kara tomorrow with Joyce. Maybe we can do something on Saturday? I’m OK if you want to invite Kara and Stephanie as well. We may as well work through this together because we’re all going to have to live with the results.”

“So you’ve ruled out the ‘fuck-off’?” I chuckled.

“I think your sister was right. I think if you could marry her and fuck only her for the rest of your life, you would. Fortunately, she’s excluded. If it comes down to me and Kara? And it’s about sex? No competition at all!”

“You’re that sure of yourself, are you? And you think Kara can’t change? I seem to recall somebody who was scared to death to even hug me, and now she brings her own Vaseline!”

She sighed, “I have changed, haven’t I? I guess Kara has as well.”

“In the end, we all change. We all grow. It might be that there are things Kara won’t do, but so what? You know darn well what I prefer when it comes to sex. The same thing I’ve always preferred.”

“What we just did — slow, soft, passionate sex in the missionary position,” Bethany said.

“Exactly. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t like other things, as you well know, but it does mean that I can be satisfied with a very conservative girl, so long as she’s an active, willing, enthusiastic participant in whatever lovemaking we enjoy together.”

“That was something Jennifer told me back when I was working up the courage to have sex with you. I was worried that you wouldn’t like doing it the way I needed you to or that you would think I was boring or something. She told me that when you had sex, you focused on the girl’s pleasure and you did whatever it was she needed you to do. Jennifer was right about that! You’ve taken me places I wasn’t sure I wanted to go, and let me explore things at my own pace. I suspect you’re doing the same with Kara.”

“That’s very true,” I replied. “Of course, I made HER wait five months!”

“That’s another thing about you that’s special,” Bethany said. “I doubt you have ever pressured a girl to do anything at all; and you certainly haven’t, from what I’ve seen and heard. Sure, with Annie you went someplace she didn’t want to go, but you didn’t pressure her nor did you try to force her. And if she’d had the sense to say ‘stop’, you would have stopped. Immediately. That’s one of the secrets of your success — you let the girl be in control. You show them what’s possible, how good they can feel, but you always let them control things.