Chapter 1: She Did It Again, Part I

June 1981, Milford, Ohio

-Frank Zappa

I heard the phone ringing, but didn’t move, I just stared at it. I was stunned. Jennifer had just told me that she wasn’t going to IIT. She had just tossed all our plans out the window, and she hadn’t even discussed it with me! I had counted on her and she let me down. Again. The phone finally stopped ringing. A few minutes later, my door opened, and Stephanie came into my room.

“Steve, please pick up the phone,” she said softly.

“No,” I said quietly, shaking my head, as much in disbelief as to answer her.

“You need to talk to her!” Stephanie said.

“No,” I said, firmly.

“Please? For me?” she begged.

“No,” I repeated, perhaps raising my voice a level, but fixing my eyes on her.

Stephanie left the room, closing the door behind her. I didn’t move from my chair, though I did put my head down on my desk, resting on my arms. I took several deep breaths, determined not to lose control. My mind was racing, and I knew that was a dangerous thing. I had to maintain control. The last time Jennifer had dropped a bombshell on me, I hadn’t. After about ten minutes, I got up from the desk and went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I brushed my teeth, used the toilet, then stripped and got into bed.

It was only about 9:00pm, but I didn’t feel like doing anything other than sleeping, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to sleep. I was angry beyond belief with Jennifer. Not only had she simply discarded all our plans, but Kara had broken up with me because of those plans. And Jennifer must have known for at least a couple of months what she was doing. I thought back about things she had said and realized she had made her decision in January.

Of course she wasn’t; at that point, she’d already decided on Stanford! Five months! This was worse than Seattle. It had been Jennifer’s decision, and she had withheld it from me. Worse, she hadn’t discussed it with me. I simply couldn’t fathom how she could do this to me; to us! About twenty minutes later, there was a soft knock at the door. I figured it was Stephanie and that she and Jennifer had talked. I didn’t want to hear whatever excuses Jennifer had, but I couldn’t treat Stephanie like I had the previous time.

“Come in,” I said.

The door opened, and I was surprised to see three female forms silhouetted by the light in the hallway.

“OK if I turn on the light, Steve?” the soft voice asked.

“Yes, Kara,” I said, shielding my eyes.

She stepped inside and turned on the light switch, followed by Bethany and Stephanie, who closed the door behind her.

“I was worried, Big Brother, so I called Bethany.”

“And Bethany called me,” Kara said. “And I talked my mom into letting me come over here.”

“All three of us are worried about you,” Bethany said. “Stephanie told us what Jennifer said to you. Did you really hang up on her?”

“Yes, I did,” I shrugged. “There was simply nothing to say at that point. She didn’t discuss her decision with me and she must have made it months ago. I think she made it in January, or maybe even earlier. And she hid it from me. It’s worse than her leaving for Seattle; this was a choice, her choice.”

“You should talk to her, Big Brother,” Stephanie said.

“Why? We’re through. I am done with Jennifer Block. I don’t see how I could ever trust her again.”

“You two have been friends since eighth grade, and lovers since ninth grade. You should at least talk to her,” Stephanie said, her voice trembling.

“No, Squirt. Maybe some day, but not anytime soon.”

“Get out of bed, Steve. Let’s go someplace and talk,” Bethany said.

I smirked and tossed the covers off my body and got out of bed. Stephanie and Bethany laughed, and Kara blushed.

“Oh come on, Kara, you’ve seen this before!” I said, standing facing her.

She reddened even more. Yes, she had, but not in front of anyone else, and certainly not in front of Stephanie.

“Get dressed!” she giggled nervously.

I got a pair of undershorts from my dresser, then put on a light blue polo and a pair of white slacks. I put on black socks and my black loafers. I grabbed my fedora.

“Where to?” I asked.

“It’s a weeknight, so Graeter’s closes soon. Let’s head to Frisch’s,” Bethany said.

“I need to go ask my dad,” Stephanie said, opening the door and scampering down the hall.

We walked out to wait by the front door to see if Stephanie could come with us.

“Mom said no before Dad could answer,” Stephanie said, pouting.

“It’s cloudy, but it’s not raining. We can just go sit on the deck, Squirt,” I said.

She brightened, “Thanks, Steve.”

The four of us went out to the deck and sat down. I wasn’t at all surprised when my mom came out almost immediately.

“Stephanie,” my mom said shrilly, “I told you that you may not go out with them!”

“We’re sitting on the deck. We’re not going anywhere,” I said firmly.

“Inside, Stephanie!” my mom ordered.

“Stephanie, stay right there,” I said. “I’ll go talk to Dad. I’m sure that he won’t agree with Mom because I’m sure she told you that you couldn’t go to Frisch’s with us, not that you couldn’t sit with us on the deck.”

I quickly walked inside, ignoring the protests my mom was hurling at me. Dad agreed with my interpretation, and I walked back outside.

“Stephanie, you can stay. As I suspected, Mom, you told her she couldn’t go to Frisch’s, and the house rule is that you can’t keep her from being with me.”

“I do not want her around your little sluts!”

“That enough!” I said firmly. “Now, go inside and leave us alone!”

She stood there, her arms crossed, not moving.

“Girls, go get in the car. It’s clear we can’t talk here, so I am sure I can get permission for Stephanie to come with us.”

Mom started yelling at Stephanie, but I nodded my head to tell Stephanie to go with Kara and Bethany. I walked inside.

“Dad, she’s at it again. She called Kara and Bethany sluts and is refusing to go inside so we can talk. I’m taking Stephanie with us and we’re going to Frisch’s. Mom is being impossible.”

“She told Stephanie that she can’t go, Son. Wait! She called both Bethany and that wonderful Kara sluts?”

“To their faces.”

“Oh, for crying out loud!” my dad said, clearly exasperated.

“And now she seems to have decided that ‘can’t go out’ means Stephanie can’t be with us on the deck! She won’t leave so we can talk, insisting that she forbade Stephanie to ‘go out’ and that includes being on the deck. Dad, I want to obey, but she is making it impossible.”

“What’s so important, Steve?”

“Jennifer just called and backed out of all our plans for the Fall. She’s going to Stanford.”

“What?! Son, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“I have no idea. None at all. But after I hung up on Jennifer, Stephanie talked to her, so she probably has more information. I need to figure out what to do, and I need Stephanie, Kara, and Bethany to help me. They’ve been helping me with other problems since January.”

A confused look spread over my dad’s face.

“I thought you and Kara broke up,” he said.

“It’s complicated. I promise I’ll explain everything. I just need to talk to the girls now. You remember what happened the last time Jennifer and I had trouble? I don’t want a repeat.”

“Neither do I, Son.” He sighed, “Go ahead. Stephanie needs to be home by 11:00pm. And I do want you to explain what’s going on. Maybe you and Kara can get back together,” he added hopefully.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to get together with anyone right away. Everything changed today. I’ll explain it to you tomorrow. And thanks.”

I walked out to the deck.

“Dad said she can go with us because you won’t leave us alone. Take it up with him,” I said evenly. I just turned and walked away, ignoring her protests.

I walked to Bethany’s car and got in the passenger seat.

“We’re clear with my dad. Stephanie, Mom is going to try to take it out on you, so it’s up to you if you want to go with us or stay home,” I said.

“Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from you, Big Brother.”

Bethany started the car and headed to Frisch’s. We got a booth in the corner and I ordered coffee while the girls ordered tea. I figured at this point, caffeine was the least of my worries. I was still trying to come to grips with the situation, but I didn’t really have enough information.

“Stephanie, did she say anything to you about why?” I asked.

“No. I tried to get her to tell me, but she wouldn’t. She just wanted to talk to you, and you refused to pick up the phone. She was crying when we hung up, Steve.”

“Good!” I said, my voice full of spite.

“Big brother, I know that tone. It’s the same one you used a year ago. Don’t do this again! Do you hear me? Don’t do this again!”

“Sorry, Squirt. Obviously I’m upset. I just don’t get it. I don’t. What can she possibly say that would explain this? No, there’s nothing to say to her at this point.”

“She must have had a good reason to decide to go to Stanford,” Kara said.

“I have no doubt about that. And honestly, that’s not the problem,” I said.

“No,” Bethany said, “the problem is she didn’t talk to him. She did this before, Kara, and he just about lost his mind.”

“I’d argue there was no ‘just about’,” I sighed.

“And we three are going to make damn sure that does NOT happen again!” Stephanie added.

“So, what do we do?” Kara asked.

“We love him,” Stephanie said. “And we keep him on the straight and narrow like he has been since January. And I think that means no sex with anyone not at this table without express permission. Last time, he tried to fuck his way out of his mental state and that went right to hell, as you can imagine.”

“I’m not sleeping with him now; we broke up,” Kara said. Then, her eyes opened in surprise as she realized, “Oh my! We broke up because of Jennifer! Steve, I’m so sorry!”

“I’m not!” Bethany giggled, but immediately got serious. “Sorry, Kara. That wasn’t fair. It just kind of slipped out.”

“It’s OK. This is not your fault, or even Steve’s fault. It’s Jennifer’s,” Kara said.

“This changes everything,” I said. “But I need some time to think about it.”

“Do you promise you’ll stick with us and let us help you, Steve?” Bethany asked.

“Yes,” I said after a moment’s thought. “I do not want a repeat of last time any more than the rest of you do. And I’m sure Pete and Melanie would agree as well. And Larry. And ... well, you get the point,” I added with a wan smile.

“Kara, do you want to take him back?” Bethany asked.

“Stop!” I interrupted, “Please don’t push that right now. Let me sort things out in my mind, and then we’ll all discuss what to do. I’m going to Chicago in the Fall no matter what.”

“Then we need someone to take Jennifer’s place,” Kara said.

“What?” I said with surprise.

“Based on everything I know about you,” Kara answered, “you need someone close by you. In fact, probably two people. Here, you’ve had me and Bethany, before that in Sweden it was Sofia and Pia, and before that it was Jennifer and Melanie. You’ve always had a close female friend and a girlfriend. If you think about it, and I’m sure your sister can confirm, that’s when you’ve been the most stable.”

“It’s true, though in Sweden it was three, with Katt,” Stephanie said.

“But that was different, because he was actually being her support instead of the other way around,” Bethany said.

“Look, it’s too soon to worry about that,” I said. “Right now, I just need to get my head around the fact that Jennifer and I are done.”

“Are you sure, Steve?” Bethany asked. “Don’t you want to talk to her? Shouldn’t you talk to her?”

“I don’t want to. There’s nothing she can say at this point to make me change my mind, Bethany. Nothing.”

“You should at least hear her out, Big Brother. What harm can it do?”

“Piss me off even more? She can’t possibly have a good reason for not telling me. We talked about being open and honest. I simply can’t abide by someone not being honest with me. Have I lied to any of you? Hidden things from you? Not told you important things?”

“No,” they all said, but as I looked at them, I noticed that Kara looked down at her teacup for a few seconds, her brow furrowed and with a guilty look on her face. She quickly looked up with what was clearly a forced smile.

I made a mental note to talk to Kara. It was probably something silly, knowing her and her reluctance to talk about certain subjects.

“Are we keeping our dinner date with Joyce on Friday?” Kara asked.

“Yes. I don’t see any reason to change that,” I said.

“This will make her day, you realize,” Kara smirked.

“Oh, like it doesn’t make your day, Kara? And mine?” Bethany said with a smile. “No offense, Steve.”

“None taken, Bethany. I think it’s obvious to the three of us that you two have the inside track now. I’m grateful that you aren’t both dancing on the grave of my relationship with Jennifer,” I said with a smile.

A brief horrified look crossed Stephanie’s face, but she quickly composed herself. The weight of what happened had just hit her — her relationship with Jennifer was probably over as well, and that what she wanted for me was not going to happen.

Kara giggled, “Because Steve’s being a good sport, Bethany, shall we say, pistols at dawn? You and me?”

“No way, Kara. If it’s for Steve, it has to be something related to sex!” Bethany giggled. “Maybe a fuck off?”

Kara turned bright red, and Stephanie and Bethany laughed. I laughed as well.

“Girls, this doesn’t have to be solved today,” I said, “though Bethany’s idea does have some appeal!”

Stephanie looked around, and in a lowered voice said, “If that’s the competition, I’d win!”

Bethany and I laughed and Kara briefly looked horrified, but then smiled. It seemed like another forced smile.

“Squirt, please don’t do that. You know better,” I said firmly.

“Kara, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” Stephanie said, clearly feeling bad for saying what she had.

Kara nodded. I’d need to talk to her about THAT as well. I suppressed a sigh. My little sister and Mary could cause more problems with one Smart Aleck comment than I caused for myself. And I definitely did NOT need that kind of help!

“If you girls are satisfied that I’m not going to try to screw every girl in Milford, we should probably get Stephanie home. I’m sure our mom will be waiting for us, loaded for bear.”

“I can’t believe she called me a slut!” Kara said, visibly upset.

“Kara, she’s had sex with more guys than you have, heck, she’s had more sex partners than any of the three of you at this table. You’ve each had one. She might have had more than the three of you combined.”

Bethany started to object, but I stared her down and she closed her mouth.

I continued, “According to my dad, she had sex with at least two guys before him, and it might have been more. She’s hung up on me having sex and that’s most likely because she got pregnant before she and my dad married, then had a miscarriage. If you work out the math, it makes sense given I was born about sixteen months after they got married and you factor in a miscarriage and time to recover, and stuff. I think that’s what has her so crazy about this topic.”

“But to call a girl a slut when she hardly knows her? That’s just wrong!” Kara said.

“Her assumption is that if you are with me, you must be a slut. The fact that basically all of my serious girlfriends have only had sex with me doesn’t appear to matter to her. Heck, if anything, I’m the one who’s the slut. Fortunately, my relationship with my dad is pretty good. Years ago, I felt he was mean, but things have changed over the last few years. Now we get along pretty well.”

We got up from the table and headed out. Bethany dropped Stephanie and me at home, and both she and Kara gave me a hug and a quick peck on the lips.

“Bethany, can we get together tomorrow?” I asked.