Chapter 5

I wish I could say I slept fitfully. The night had been utterly restless for me. After what I did to Molly, or what we did together, or whatever I decided to think of it in the moment, I didn’t dare touch her in my sleep. From when I had woken up, around 6:30 or so, until whenever she woke up, I had just been staring at the ceiling, almost dizzy with the number of possibilities swirling in my head.

She knew.

Even the possibility of her knowing was just a branching path. Did she hate it? Did she like it? Did she want more? I couldn’t say for sure I knew that she knew, but some part of me just ... knew.

When Molly first began to stir, rustling around more than she usually did in her sleep, I could do nothing but freeze. I lost the ability to speak, breathe, or even think.

“You awake?” she asked in a groggy voice.

She couldn’t see my eyes. I turned slightly to meet her, feigning tired eyes.

“Am now.” I mumbled.

“Oh, sorry.”

“Nah, don’t be. I should have been out of bed an hour ago.” I replied. Too truthful, but I wasn’t going to let her know why. “Besides, you asked if you could wake me up.”

I got out of bed and stretched, reaching for the door to my closet to pull out a shirt. “So ... you okay?” I asked her gingerly, figuring it was now or never. “Was it awkward or anything?”

Molly only smiled sleepily. “Don’t worry about it.” she answered simply. “You’re fine. The bed wasn’t as small as I expected.”

I looked her eyes up and down. Nothing hidden. She didn’t know. It was in her sleep. Was it possible?

“I slept well.” she continued, getting up and stretching herself. “Really well, actually.” She patted the bed next to her. “I should get one of these. It was super comfy, and I bet it’s even comfier when you get the whole thing.”

“I offered to sleep on the floor,” I half-smiled, feeling any tension I had invented melting away.

“Yeah? Well...” Molly stuttered over her wording, trying to come up with a comeback, and eventually rolled her eyes. “Don’t.”

“The ultimate comeback.”

“I don’t want you to sacrifice your well-being for me. It makes me feel bad.”

I pulled my shirt over my head. “Well, we can’t have that. Are you at least happy now?”

She smiled. “Weirdly happy. Like I could take on the world or something.”

“Tough, it’s Saturday.” I gestured out the window for some reason, as if that would prove what day it was.

“I have to go to school anyway today.” she clarified. “I have to meet a professor.”

“Oh.” I simply replied. “When?”

She shrugged. “Sometime. What time is it?”

I looked at my wrist. No watch. I walked over to my desk, found my watch, and put it on. “10:37.”

She put her head into the pillow and groaned. “I probably should take the next bus.” her muffled voice came from the pillow.

“Do you want me to make you breakfast?” I asked. I could feel my face begin to flush. Now that Molly and I were closer, I felt some weird obligation to take care of her. I felt like her happiness rode on my shoulders.

She chuckled. “I’ll be okay.” she said quietly, getting up and stretching. Shrugging myself, and fully dressed, I left the room, aiming for the stairs.

On my way out of the room, I hesitated and turned towards Molly’s room. Gingerly, I knocked on her door.

“Yeah.” came the annoyed voice of Chris. I couldn’t help but chuckle. There were only two times Chris’ voice lost its flamboyant nature – hopping mad, or hungover.

“You alright?” I asked as casually as I could.

The door swung open in response. Chris, naked except for his briefs, met my eyes. He had to squint to even look at me. “Hey.” he said as nonchalantly as he could, even though I could hear pain in his voice. “How bad was I last night?”

“You were fine, dude.” I brushed him off.

“As always, your lying skills are impressive.” he mumbled as he slunk up the stairs. “If I didn’t know you better...”

“I’d probably be telling you to get the fuck out of my house.” I threw up the stairs.

“Oh, so it’s your house now?” Molly asked, coming out of my room, a little smile on her face.

“I mean ... like ... yeah, y’know.” I tried to add on to the joke, but I had nothing. I’m sure Molly was impressed by my stammering and stuttering though. The two of us made our way up to the top of the stairs where we saw Chris, sitting down at the kitchen table with his forehead trying to fuse itself with the table.

“Morning, Chris.” Molly said sweetly. The first time she saw him like this she was all worried and concerned for him, but after seeing him this many times she just got used to it. “Will you be okay?”

“As long as no one bangs anything on this table, I’ll be fine.” he responded slowly. “Just give it around two, maybe three months.”

She met his remark with a patient smile and bounced over to the counter, retrieving her cereal. Bounced. I had to admit, I had never seen Molly so elated before. She was positively glowing. She had a nigh unerasable smile across her face as she poured her bowl of cereal and sat down at the table.

Chris slowly lifted his head so his eyes could meet hers. “I wish I knew what the hell you do to be so happy all the time.” he slowly said.

Molly chuckled lightly. “I’m just feeling really good today.” she simply answered. “Like I could take on the world or something.”

“Real original.” I smirked, remembering her saying that earlier.

“Did you come up here to eat, or to give me snappy comebacks?” Molly shot back with a lowered eyebrow.

“Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.” I retorted as I went into the fridge and retrieved some jam. I got some bread, toasted it, and sat down for a bit of innocent chatter from Molly, as well as words from beyond the grave from Chris. This lasted for a little while until Molly’s phone went off and she looked at it nonchalantly.

Her eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets. “Oh my god,” she quickly mumbled as she jumped up and dumped her empty bowl into the sink.

“Problem?” I asked.

“I have four minutes to get the bus. I scheduled the meeting earlier than I thought.” She barely managed to finish her sentence before disappearing downstairs. My gaze went from her to the dead eyes of Chris.

“If I had her energy, I’d be President by now.” he mumbled. “Tell her I’m sorry for taking her room last night.”

She re-emerged up the stairs in a flash. “I’m sorry I took your room la-” Chris began.

“Don’t worry about it!” Molly replied distractedly, one foot out the door. Even in a hurry, she was the cutest thing ever. There was something about seeing such a serious look of concentration on her cute little face that somehow made it all the cuter. The only shame about it was that I barely got to enjoy it before she left.

“So what’s your plan for the day?” I asked Chris.

Chris sighed as he began putting on a set of clothes, which I guess he brought upstairs with him. “Need to get to my old place. Hopefully today’s the last day I have to go back there, then everything’s settled.”

“Hell of a time to get hungover.”

“You’re telling me, sweetie.” he angrily mumbled to himself, now fully clothed, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “I’m such an idiot. Anyway, once Jerome is done getting ready, he’s my ride.”

“Molly and I have been up here for half an hour.” I added slowly.

“Welcome to Jerome.” Chris replied annoyedly. “He’s still getting r-” His ears almost visibly perked up as he heard some shuffling from the top floor. He put his finger to his lips, signalling that the conversation was over.

Jerome came thundering down the stairs with no grace, as per his usual style. “Ready to go?” he asked Chris.

“All set, babe.” Chris replied a little too casually. He quickly got up and put his shoes on, and without another word, the two were gone.

Everyone sure was ready to leave the house in a hurry today, I thought to myself. I shrugged – good. As I finished my breakfast, I planned out my day, and knew the first thing I needed to do. I needed to talk to someone about this, and knew exactly who to call.

I typed in the name on my phone and rang the contact. After a few seconds, the flat “Aaron,” of Daisy greeted my ears.

“Daisy, I need to talk, it’s important. Do you have a second?”

“An hour, you mean?” She paused. “I have some time. Go ahead.”

“Cool, thanks. Hope I didn’t wake y-”

“Just go ahead.” she interrupted me.

“Right. Okay. Um...” I was suddenly incredibly nervous. I wasn’t sure if I had done anything bad, but I wasn’t sure how to explain what I had did without looking like a jerk.

“Aaron.”

“Sorry, sorry. Okay, so, um, last night Chris and Jerome got really drunk, and it ended up happening that Chris took Molly’s bed and Jerome took the couch, and their room was locked.”

“Okay...” Daisy slowly responded.

I started pacing back and forth. “Right, so I offered Molly my bed. Molly felt bad, knowing I’d be on the floor or something.”

“Why didn’t you just push Chris off the bed or something?”

“Believe me, I tried. So I was setting up to be on the floor, when Molly said she’d feel too guilty, and she suggested that we should share the bed instead. She suggested that.”

“Oh my God, Aaron, you dolt. That doesn’t mean jack. She was being-”

“That ... isn’t what I’m calling about.”

Daisy stopped mid-sentence and paused. “ ... What is it then?”

“So, uh...” I clicked my tongue in discomfort. “How comfortable are you talking about your sister like this?”

“ ... Did something happen between you two?” She asked, mostly in surprise.

“Well, like, yes and no. She almost immediately fell asleep and I didn’t think anything by it. We just sorta lay there, and I was awake because I couldn’t fall asleep, and suddenly I felt her snuggle up to me. Like, she snuggled up to me.”

For the next couple of minutes, I just talked. Daisy didn’t say anything, not that I ever gave her a window to respond. In one fell swoop, I had explained every detail of what had transpired.

“ ... And then after we woke up, she never even acted differently. I swear, it was in her sleep. And it was something she started. Like, what does this mean?”

Daisy didn’t say anything for the longest time. “Listen.” she finally began with a quiet, dry voice. “I don’t know if you can hear yourself, but that was shameful. Never mind the fact that you went to her underage sister to tell her everything you did with her, but even if, even if your story is true, all she did was snuggle up to the closest thing to her and kiss it. You responded by groping her, touching her, and making her orgasm without her consent. Tell me, if I went to the dictionary armed with that, how would I define you?”

“That’s-”

“Shut up, shut up.”she replied with surprising hostility, even for her. “You don’t get to talk anymore. I only humored you because of what I’m given. I don’t for a second believe that’s what happened. One of two things is going on here – either you’re lying for whatever reason to trick me and maybe yourself into thinking something is actually happening between you two, or you sexually assaulted my sister in her sleep, you took advantage of her. This was against her consent. I tried to see reason with you, but I have my limits. You will stop trying to get with my sister today, and you are hereby banished from my house.”

I was scared, I had a pit in my stomach, and even then I had to laugh. “I’m banished from your house? How are you going to enforce that?”

“I’ll tell her.”

I was silent in fear for a second. “That would require you telling her about our informational channel concerning her. It would lead to you getting outed for who you really are.”

“Then I’ll hope she’s better at keeping secrets than you are at not raping girls.”

“I’m not a fucking rapist.”

“Tell me how what you did wasn’t rape and I’ll take it all back.”

“She ... she wanted it.” I feebly attempted. “She, she looked like she enjoyed it.”

“Unbelievable.” I could hear Daisy shaking her head. “Lose my number, Aaron. Don’t ever call me or talk to me again. Don’t ever talk to my sister either. Stay away from us. You don’t deserve her.” With that, the dial tone met my ears.

You don’t deserve her. What a hell of a quote to end an entire pseudo-friendship on. I found the nearest chair I could and sat down in it, my body sprawled, my head facing the ceiling. What if I was a rapist? What if I genuinely violated an innocent little flower? Was she really not the person I was painting her to be?

I don’t know why I was doing what I was doing. I sprang up from the chair and ran down the stairs, and entered her room. I booted up her laptop. I needed answers, answers of any kind. I needed to know who Molly was. I thought I knew her, but was Daisy right? Had I just lost my damn mind?

Emails. I needed emails. I looked through them, one by one. Boring stuff, stuff I already knew. This wasn’t good, this wasn’t progress, I needed progress. I typed in ‘Facebook.com’ and went to the homepage. She was already logged in, I was in. I went through her messages, person by person. Not even an old crush I could find. Her conversations were all so clinical, all so useless.

Twitter? She didn’t have one. LinkedIn? Didn’t help me at all. I had no clue what to even do from there. Reddit, Runescape, MySpace?! Nothing. My hands came up to my face and repeatedly made fists, over and over.

I closed my eyes and leaned back. This was her private property. I had no business being here. What was I even expecting to find here? It’s not like people express their sexual dissatisfaction on LinkedIn. They just watch po-

Porn. Her internet history. Bingo. Given the billions of sites it could have been, I didn’t even bother with the old ‘type in ___ and let the autocomplete help you out’ scenario, I just opened her internet history and gave it a key keywords.

I started with ‘porn.’ Each hit of the keys felt like a minor victory, up until I put in the ‘n’ and saw zero results. Okay, fair. Maybe girls watch different porn, I reasoned. ‘Penises.’ Nope. Maybe ‘dicks’? Oh, I got it. Singular form. ‘Penis.’ ... No? Okay, fuck it, just ‘sex.’

Woah, a result. No, results. I leaned in to the computer – half in excitement, half in disbelief. Sex stories. Molly read sex stories. Like, a lot of them! She was a sexual creature, I had a case! ... Well, I had something. Excitedly, I clicked a link. I couldn’t be so egotistical to hope to find one with an ‘Aaron,’ but even just knowing her fetishes might help. Maybe there’s was one for sleep sex or something.

Ten minutes passed by, my research getting more and more silly with each passing second, even to me. Plus, as it turned out, Molly was into those ‘sex’ stories where the non-sexual part of the story dwarfed the actual sex. Yawn. Yeah, I read sex stories to kill my boner and find out what crazy high school adventures Andy or whoever goes on, not to get off.

Eventually, I closed the browser, making sure I didn’t leave a footprint too easily traceable on her computer. I sat, staring at her open screen. Her choice in sex stories didn’t tell me much (apart from the fact that she was potentially a lover of boring stuff), but it was existent. It was there. Maybe Molly was living out a fantasy of hers in her sleep. They always say the freaks are the quieter ones. This could help explain me, or explain what happened, or at least put what happened into context. This meant at least something.

“You okay?” I heard a gruff voice behind me. I practically jumped. Shutting the laptop screen and turning around almost in one motion, my gaze locked on to that of Jerome’s. Either what he needed to do with Chris was super quick, or he was back home for something.

“Yeah, fine.” I quickly and a little too casually replied. “What are you doing downstairs?”

“I heard noises.”

“Noises?” I asked.

He nodded. “Grunts. You sounded distressed.”

My fuckboy liar powers came back in full swing. “You try working out this laptop, man. Molly asked me to email her a file or something from this computer for the meeting she has today with her prof. For the record, Macs suck. PCs all the way.”

“She asked you to do this?” Jerome asked. I was definitely in a suspicious place, but I played it cool.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m done now, I was just staring at the screen.” I figured, on the chance he saw me, giving truth at the end would make the whole story digestible. “I was startled because I don’t ever see you down here.”

“I see.” Jerome said simply, head nodding slightly. I couldn’t tell his body language – even when happy the guy looked gruff and disgruntled beyond hell.

“Is there anything else?” I asked, figuring only doubling down on my confidence would lead him away.

“No.” he simply replied, walking off. The tower of steel toppled. Sighing to myself, once I heard him going up the second set of stairs towards his own room, I exited Molly’s room and left for my own.

I had no clue why I went to the university. In theory, I wanted to see Molly, to talk to her, to find out something, anything. But what the fuck was I going to say? “Hey, you don’t remember but I fingered you in your sleep last night. Today, I looked into your private internet history and found boring sex stories, so does this mean something?” Even just being too rash made her shrivel up like a flower in autumn, actually admitting what I did would probably give her a heart attack.

I just wanted to talk, above everything else. This felt like one of those things that couldn’t wait. If I waited, I lost. Something was clearly starting here and I wanted to know what.

I was familiar enough with the university to at least give a rough guess as to where her professor would be, if the professor she was seeing was her main one, which it would probably be. I was almost hoping I wouldn’t find her, given the more I thought about what I wanted to say the more blanks I drew. I just wanted to see her, I wanted either for this to be over or to sprout into something new, something better.

After wandering through some unfamiliar hallways and asking some secretary, I entered the hallway I was looking for and found an office door that proudly displayed the name of Professor Hendriks, some professor of classic history. Unfortunately, it was empty, and I was back at square one.

I puttered around a bit, considering going back, until I heard a voice down the hallway and discovered a fox-like reflex. My ears perked up. It was Molly’s voice. As if I were a liquid, I slunk around the hallway, turning at corner after corner, attempting to get closer to the voice, until I found her.

She wasn’t alone. She was standing in the middle of the hallway talking to some brown-haired guy. Correction, he was talking to her. The guy looked like he would be the least outgoing member of a roving gang of jocks – shaggy brown hair, determined brown eyes, a chiseled yet soft face, and this cocky, arrogant grin on his face.

He was scribbling something down on a piece of paper, then handing it to her. “Normally I ask the girl for her number,” he said all too casually. “But I’m a modern kind of guy.”

Molly gave a nervous chuckle, not the good kind. The kind that showed she was uncomfortable. I looked at her hand, by her side. Sure enough, she was nervously tapping the side of her jeans.

I needed no further convincing. I practically sprang forward, devolving into a casual step as I approached Molly. “Hey, Molly.” I said as nonchalantly as I could. “Chris needed your help with something. Are you finished meeting your...” I stopped and stared daggers into Mr. Brownhair. “ ... professor?”

Molly said nothing, and just looked back and forth between him and I. “Oh, hey, you know Molly too?” Mr. Brownhair asked me, outstretching his hand. “My name’s Carson. I’m in her ancient history class.”

“Nice.” I said flatly and turned back to Molly. “Do you need to get anything else done or can you come back home?”

“Um, no, I’m done...” Molly said quietly.

“Alright then, we should probably go.” I turned around, throwing behind me, “Sorry to rush you.”

“It’s fine!” Molly reassured me. She turned back to Carson. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Call me.” Carson replied in a sickeningly suave voice. I didn’t bother to look back at the pair, I just walked at a slow pace so Molly could catch up. I didn’t want to look back at that wannabe Casanova for another second.

“So, what’s the situation, is Chris okay?” Molly asked as she caught up to me.

I glanced behind me to make sure we were alone. “Oh yeah, Chris is fine. I lied. I saw you were uncomfortable with that Carson guy, so I decided to step in.”

“What?” Molly stopped in her tracks and rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, Aaron.” she practically whined. “You are not my dad.”

“Your hand was doing the thing!” I defended myself. “You were pretty clearly nervous.”

“I’m always nervous!” she retaliated. “I was fine! I’ve known Carson for a bit now.”

“Yeah, real piece of work, isn’t he?”

“Huh?” Molly and I resumed our walking.

“Textbook fuckboy.” I explained. “Remember what we were talking about a bit ago? He has the hots for you.”

“I don’t know about that.” Molly shyly said to the ground, brushing her hair back. “Weren’t you the one who wanted me to get a boyfriend so badly?”

“Yeah, a boyfriend. Not a guy that sees you as a walking sex machine.” I clarified. “I know the type. He wants one thing from you.”

“I think you’re being really judgmental right now.” Molly said in a voice that was about 80% serious.

“Italian.” I reminded her. I’ve told her multiple times before that Italians were always the first ones to be judgmental towards people, but they were never wrong about it.

Molly rolled her eyes. “He isn’t like that. We’re not like that. He needed my number because he wasn’t getting something in seminar.”

“So he’s getting free homework help from you too?”

“Listen. He’s a nice guy. He hasn’t done anything to make me uncomfortable. I appreciate you helping me, but ... I want to make my own decisions, okay? You wanted me to make friends. I don’t like that I can only make them on your terms.”

I sighed aloud. “Okay, fair enough. Do you like him? Like, like like him?”

“No.” she bluntly answered.

I hated to admit it, but it was a major load off my mind. I felt like such a highschooler. “Really? There’s nothing there?”

“There’s nothing. I don’t need a boyfriend, Aaron. I can make friends who are boys without wanting to kiss them or screw them or anything.”

I chuckled out loud. “Okay, fair enough. I’m sorry.”

“I appreciate you caring, though. I know your heart’s in the right place.” She added, smiling warmly at me.

“Just be careful. If he tries anything...”

“Then I’ll be sure to tell you you told me so.” Molly added dryly.

That was the end of that. Of course, nothing I went to see her about got resolved, and that would probably just be a weight on my mind until I got the chance to work that stress out somehow.

Holly could barely keep up her moaning with my hand grasped around her throat. As I thrust into her from behind, each time with more raw power than the last, my left hand gripped her throat harder and my right tugged on her hair with more force.

She couldn’t speak. She didn’t have to. I wanted this tension out, and I didn’t need her speaking to distract me. She just needed to submit, and I would have my way with her. I didn’t need to ask if she liked it – her moans and grunts were proof positive she was enjoying the hell out of the experience. Truthfully, I didn’t give a damn if she was. I needed a way to release all of my pent-up energy, and Holly was the perfect vessel. When we met up, I didn’t waste any time with her – I pinned her to the wall and practically ripped her pants off, giving foreplay no thought as I threw her over the bed and brutally pushed my way inside her.

She liked it like that, the little slut. She liked being split apart by my dick, without so much as a ‘hello.’ No words were needed, even for the moments I wasn’t inside her – as we moved around the room, I must have drilled her everywhere. Starting against the wall, moving to her desk, against her door, even up against her window. A part of me was downright impressed with her sexual appetite and the fact that she could keep up with me today of all days, but another part of me didn’t care. I needed to work out my tension somehow.

And I never stopped. Taking my hand off of her throat only to give her another spank every so often, I kept up the rhythm we had built together since we first started fucking, which could’ve been an hour ago at this point. There was no desire to cum, and no desire to stop any time soon. I just needed to keep going, I needed to do something else. I needed her in my grasp as long as possible, and Holly knew this, maybe even rejoiced in it, because she knew what it meant for her – it meant that as long as she was a good girl she would get rewarded with a hard cock buried to the hilt inside her for as long as she could stand it.

Taking myself outside of her just long enough to forcefully flip her over, I dived right back inside her as I collapsed forward, my mouth landing perfectly on her neck as I began to kiss and bite wildly, lost in the heat of the sexual passion with which we filled the air.

“Ah!” Holly instinctively yelped. “Easy there, Aaron.”

I never stopped thrusting inside of her, but my head shot up all the same. Did ... did she just command me? Did she just tell me what to do? I never stopped staring straight forward, my breathing becoming quicker, but not in lust. Even as Holly shrieked out loud and I felt her grip me as her third orgasm rippled through her, I never stopped staring straight forward. Holly just told me what to do. Even though she knew she was my little whore, she still had the nerve to try to turn the tables on me.

Going slightly faster and really working my hips so Holly could feel the full force of my manhood pumping in and out of her, I tried to reason with myself. Maybe it slipped out. Maybe she was lost in the moment. Holly knew that she was nothing other than my little whore at heart, and I’d prove it. I’d prove it right now.

“Tell me you’re my little whore.” I breathed, keeping up my full pace.

“What?” It sounded like perhaps she didn’t hear me.

“Tell me ... you’re my ... cheap, little, useless, cocksleeve whore!” I panted emphatically, shoving my cock inside her extra deep to really make sure she got the point.

“Aaron, stop.”

I blinked and immediately froze where I was. I had to take a second to process that answer before sliding back out of her and standing before her as she gathered her breath.

She told me to stop. Did I do something wrong? Did I do something bad? What did I say during the heat of passion?

Holly sat up on the side of the bed, facing me, not bothering to hide any of herself. Part of me almost wished she did. “Aaron, what’s going on?” she finally broke the ice.

I waited for her to continue, but painfully, she didn’t. “What do you mean?” I eventually asked.

She chuckled before continuing. “Aaron, you are the best fuck I’ve ever had, but you’re a complete loose cannon. Half the time when we fuck you’re telling me you love me, even though you can’t even seem to remember my god damn name, and half the time you’re treating me like your own personal sex toy.”

“You go along with it!” I protested.

“I think it’s hot!” she fired back. “I mean, I used to think it was hot. But the way you go back and forth has made this really weird for me. I’m expected to tell you I’m nothing to you but a cheap whore and at the same time you get to say you love me during sex and I can’t even ask about it! What’s the deal with that?!”

“It’s more compli-”

“And then you’re coming and going all the time! You didn’t even let me know you were coming this time. Are you even aware of the fact that you just showed up to my dorm like we planned this or something? I couldn’t even react before you had me against the wall. If I were anyone else you’d be in cuffs right now!”

“I knew th-”

“Then after sex you’re either pretending like I couldn’t possibly understand your feelings, or you-”

“God dammit, would you shut up?!” I yelled in her face. “You think you understand everything, you don’t know what the fuck I’m going through!”

“I’d hope it’s a lot, considering how you’re showing zero care for me!” she yelled back.

“I thought that’s what this was!” I protested in an overly high voice. “We use each other, we fuck each other!” I was practically prancing around the room, gesturing around us to prove my point.

“Baby, I’m one hundred and ten percent down for that.” she replied, in a weirdly calm voice. “Use me. Use my body. Just ... stop also saying you love me. It’s getting really creepy.”

“I didn’t do it this time though.” I protested back, calming down myself.

“You did. Twelve times.”

I didn’t even respond. I just stared at her, unblinking, my facial expression becoming undone. Twelve times? Twelve freaking times?