Chapter 13

I was starting to have difficulty sleeping again. It was bringing back bad memories. On more than one occasion, I would have a nightmare about having to tell Molly what I did to her, only this time she knew, but just didn’t want to hear it. I would wake up angry at myself, and until the haze of sleepiness wore off, I would get no less angry.

It was only two days after my encounter with Molly in the bathroom. I was up late, getting myself a snack, and Chris and Jerome were probably in the living room doing something or other, as usual.

I opened the fridge, eyeing some leftovers, sighing as I took it out. Microwaving was for the weak, real men just eat things cold. I set the tupperware on the table and saw Chris coming into the room.

“Yo.” I casually greeted him.

“Hi, Aaron.” he greeted me, almost nervously. “Can we talk about something?”

“Sure.” I nodded, sitting down. “Is Jerome in the other room? Sounds like you want to talk about something private.”

“Jerome isn’t here tonight.” Chris replied.

“Oh.” I responded, nodding. “Wait, hold up, he lives here. Why isn’t he-”

Chris held up a hand in front of his face, his expression serious. I don’t know what made me do it, but I shut up on the spot.

“I just need to ask you about something real quick.” Chris clarified, his tone more serious yet more nervous.

“Uh, yeah.” I replied, getting as nervous as him. “What’s up?”

“So, you’re having sex with Molly, right?” he asked, bluntly as he could.

I choked on a piece of food I was eating. Stupid me forgot that him hearing was even a possibility. “Uh, yeah.” I replied, figuring I should match his bluntness.

Chris sighed and ran his hands over his head, through his hair. “How long?”

“I haven’t been keeping track, but that wasn’t our first time.” I replied uneasily.

“I could tell.” Chris replied with a half-laugh. “If that was your first go, you ... it sounded like you were just having sex in the hallway, or at least with her door open.”

“In the washroom, actually.” I corrected him. “Door open, though.”

“Great, love that for you.” Chris responded angrily, eyes shut in irritated concentration. “But why the hell are you - well, I suppose I know why, but I figured...”

“Are you disappointed in me?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” he replied, almost hopelessly. “I just really don’t know. I don’t know a damn thing about what’s going on here.”

I laughed. “Yeah, me too.”

“Then fucking stop doing it!” Chris replied desperately. “I’ll accept, granted, guilty, I have no clue what’s going on. But this can’t be good. For her, for you...”

“It’s consensual.” I attempted to clarify.

Chris glared at me. “In 99% of cases that wouldn’t really change anything but I suppose that’s a step up for you.” He immediately brought his hands to his temples and squeezed his eyes shut. “Sorry. Old you. Sorry, I’m just ... the word is ‘scared,’ Aaron. I don’t like that situations like this keep happening, and under our roof, and ... she’s such an innocent girl, Aaron. She’s naive, that’s what she is. She’s naive. She’s just going to keep making mistakes like this if you let her.”

“Molly wants to make mistakes on her own terms and experience fucking up for herself.” I interjected.

Chris gave me a sour look. “That better not be an excuse for why you’re fucking her when you know that’s not what she needs.”

“No, but that’s why she does it anyway, and I’m a sexually starved creature that has a huge crush on her. That’s why I do it anyway too. It’s all well and good to judge from your ivory tower, but what we do is absolutely irrational. It’s hormones, it’s urges.” I frantically told him, hands waving. “That’s all that it was behind this. We resolved our differences, then discovered we still wanted each other. In a weird sort of way.”

“But you know you should stop, right?” he asked me, with a tone of hopefulness.

“We did stop, actually.”

“So what happened?”

“Hormones happened.” I replied with a sad snicker. “We kept eyeing each other, getting hornier for each other, and then ... that’s exactly why the bathroom incident happened.”

“Well then ... you...” Chris slumped down in his chair. “I dunno.” he eventually said sadly. “But like, just accept that looking at this rationally, you have to stop.”

I nodded. “I was the first one to suggest we stop having sex.”

He nodded in turn. “I think I can believe that.”

“Rationally, it makes sense. Realistically, we’re not going to stop.” I told him, standing up and putting my tupperware back in the fridge.

He motioned to the fridge. “You didn’t even touch your food.”

“I’m not hungry anymore.” I told him. “I get that you’re right. There’s nothing you’re telling me I haven’t told myself these past few days. But I’ve seen the patterns, it’s stupid to be in denial. Fucked-up shit is happening. I’m trying to grow through it, not pretend it won’t ever happen again.”

“Sometimes walking away from it is the most mature thing you can do, Aaron.” Chris pressured me. “It’s not going to be the end of the world. You have other things going on in your life.”

I chuckled. “You know, sometimes it doesn’t feel like that.” I admitted. “It’s like, yeah, other things are happening, but this is at the front of the stage, in the spotlight or something. Even when doing other stuff or seeing other people, it’s like, everything seems to be about her, even when it’s not. It feels like this is the most important thing in my life, and it feels cowardly to run away and leave that of all things behind.”

“I get that, but as long as you keep spending time and energy only there, especially emotional energy, you’re only trapping yourself in that cycle.” Chris pointed out. “Wanna come to movie night tomorrow night?”

“Gee, all the way in the living room? I dunno if I can make the drive.” I joked.

Chris smiled in response, and stood up. “Your call, sweetie. But we’d really like to see you there. And no offense, but...” He pointed downstairs. “You know this has to stop too.”

“Yeah.” I gingerly admitted as he walked up to his room. “Aren’t you going to wait for Jerome to get back?”

“Jerome isn’t coming back tonight.” Chris replied flatly.

“Oh. Spending the night out with friends, or... ?”

“I, uh, don’t really want to talk about it.” Chris replied, trying to keep his tone even, not looking back at me as he went up the stairs. I felt too awkward to do anything but stare at him.

It was a nice thought on paper that Molly and I could just avoid each other and our situation while we were living under the same roof, but it clearly didn’t work out. Molly and I were fairly polite to each other, smiling at each other if we ever saw each other in the kitchen or something, but we each had noticeably less to say to each other. Whenever we did have something to say, the conversation was cut short.

It was as if the two of us were carrying a great secret. Not from anyone in particular, just keep a secret from the audible world, trying as hard as possible not to acknowledge it.

Until we had to acknowledge it. Occasionally, one of us would feel a flash of weakness, and as if the universe was goading us, when one of us felt the weakness, it usually meant the other was feeling that same weakness. One of us would knock on the other’s door and the conversation would always be the same, albeit with the roles being reversed from time to time.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“I’m feeling weak. What about you?”

“Yeah. Come in.”

If I was trying to look for positives in this situation, I at least had one - I was no longer afraid to kiss Molly on the mouth. In fact, I enjoyed it. As soon as she allowed me to come in, I would grab the back of her head, grip her hair lightly, and tilt her head back as our mouths connected.

Our kisses were so full of passion. Not love, just passion, but I had accepted that fact, that ship had sailed. Whenever we admitted our weaknesses to each other, it was like our urges doubled. And each time felt like the first time we kissed, even if in the back of my head, I maybe would have wanted more.

“Oh, Aaron...” Molly moaned as my kisses moved down to her neck. “You’re such a horndog. You can’t keep your hands off me for even a day.”

“You’re the same way.” I breathed between kisses. “You’re such a slave to your urges. You’re such a slut.”

“You turned me into a slut, you monster.” Molly fired back, scowling and freeing my dick from my pants. “I don’t know how you live with yourself.” She sank down to her knees and took me into her mouth.

“If it bothers you so much, leave me, tell me to stop right now. If you love it, and want to continue being an impure dirty whore, keep sucking.” Molly’s eyes stared daggers into me as she attempted to get more and more of me into her mouth. “That’s what I thought.” I grinned as she kept sucking.

It wasn’t just the feeling of Molly’s warm, wet, eager mouth on me that made me feel so good ... and so powerful. It was her subservience. I could tell her to move across the country with me and wait a day or two, and she’d crumble. In a less hazy state of mind it would have been worrying, but here and now, it was empowering. It was sexy. It was hot.

Eventually her mouth let go of me and she ran to her bed, ditching her clothes as if they were on fire. I’d follow suit, dashing to get a condom and roll it on, then winking at her to let her know I was ready.

She responded by grinning and turning around, getting on all fours and wiggling her cute butt at me. “Let’s try this position today.” she almost pleaded.

“Gladly.” I replied, just as wanting, as I got up behind her and lined up my cokc with her inviting pussy. Her womanhood was nearly pulsating with excitement as I effortlessly slid in, guided by her wetness.

“Ohhhh Godddd...” Molly moaned as I wrapped a hand around her neck from behind and began to choke her. “You’re so brutal.”

“You like being used like this, don’t fucking lie to me.” I replied, spanking her with my free hand as my hips worked their magic and I picked up speed.

“I fucking hate you, Aaron. You’re the fucking worst.” Molly grunted between moans.

“I hate you too.” I replied, neither of us caring in the moment about what we were saying. “I wish you’d just fucking disappear.”

“That would solve so many problems for both of us, wouldn’t it?” Molly asked me, amongst our fucking. “Do you really wish I would just disappear, Aaron?”

“Hell fucking no.” I replied, spanking her again, earning and ‘unh’ from her. “If you were gone, I’d need to find a new cocksleeve, and no one feels as good as you.”

“And no cock feels as good as yours, Aaron. No one ever comes close, you fucking pig.” Molly moaned.

My brow furrowed. That was a new development. Never slowing my pace, never letting her know my concern, I asked her, “Oh yeah? Are you fucking other guys, Molly?” My voice was full of fake enjoyment and lust, doing my best job at acting.

“I’m dabbling.” Molly panted. “A few guys every once in a while. I can’t help it. I’m becoming such a little slut, Aaron.” she cooed.

Fucking gross. My mind worked at a million miles an hour, trying to figure out a way to stop this but not ruin the moment. “Did I fucking say you could ride other cocks, Molly?” I asked, spanking her especially hard.

“Ahh!” she yelped out in pain. “I didn’t realize I had to ask you, you horrible man.”

“Well now you know.” I roared, my voice full of confidence. “No fucking random guys. I won’t have my Molly fucking random fuckboys on campus. And if I catch you again, I’ll need to punish you, and you won’t like that. Is that understood?”

I held my breath, still pumping in and out of her, as I awaited her response. Finally, I felt her arching back cave. “Yes, sir.” Molly obediently replied.

“And don’t worry. I’ll be sure to fulfill all of your desires.” I replied as I slammed myself fully inside her to prove my point. “And every hole.”

Molly moaned as the bed rocked and I continued to fuck her. I could only hope she wouldn’t notice that from this point forward, my heart was decidedly not in it.

Silence practically echoed through the room as I let the words sink in. “Other guys.” I repeated, mostly to myself. “I dunno how many. One? Two? Seventeen? I can’t even bring myself to ask her. Thank God we wore condoms every time we did it.” I paused. “Wait, every time but one. Aw, crap.”

Mira wrote some notes down. “Do you need the contact info for the sexual health clinic?”

“Nah, I’m good. They basically know me by name there anyway.” I replied. “I’m just ... haaaaaa.” I sighed angrily. “This is because I didn’t cut her off, huh?”

“It’s impossible to know exactly what decisions lead to what until events play out.” she told me. “Hindsight is twenty-twenty.”

“I suppose, but you did tell me to do this before, and I didn’t listen.” I pouted.

“I understand that talking about it and doing it are two different things.” Mira soothed me. “And you said you did bring it up to her, and she was the one to say it wouldn’t help.”

I nodded. “Doesn’t mean she was right.” I admitted.

“No, it doesn’t.” Mira agreed.

“Do you think I did the right thing?” I asked her abruptly.

Mira smiled at me patiently. “We discussed a lot of things you did today. Which action are you referring to?”

“When I demanded she doesn’t sleep with anyone but me.” I clarified.

Mira moved her mouth to the side in thought. “Well, as you pointed out, a lot of what you said during that encounter was a form of banter. You also said you hat-”

“Yes, I remember that.” I replied instinctively, shutting my eyes in disgust at myself.

“And clearly you deeply regret saying that. Also, you clearly don’t believe it.” she observed. “So, there’s nothing that tells either of us that she believes, or has committed to, anything she said during your encounter. Including her promise not to sleep around. Perhaps it would be worth it to follow up with her afterwards.” She wrote something down on her paper. “Especially since you pride yourself on openly and bluntly communicating with her.”

“Yeah, maybe.” I conceded, slumping down in my chair again.

“Not to mention, there are many angles to this.” Mira continued. “It’s probably for the best to make sure she doesn’t sleep around with strangers, but she never said if they were strangers or trusted friends she’s having healthy sexual relationships with. And in your position, telling her who she can or can’t have sex with can also be damaging. Ultimately, I think you need to recommend she see a counselor too. Counselors are equipped to help people through situations like hers as long as they know her full story. I can only know what you tell me, filtered through your perspective, and you can only act on your best judgment.”