Chapter 11

I gazed back from the passenger’s side of the car to look at Molly, who was sitting in the back seat. Her eyes met mine and she gave a small, polite smile and a shrug. The two of us sighed almost in sync as my head turned back around to look at the road. Chris said nothing as he drove.

We had just finished picking up Molly from her Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Neither of us knew if it had gone well or not – she refused to tell us anything about it, and the two of us mildly accepted that. If anything, I think the both of us were glad that she took my intervention so seriously and accepted the ultimatum that she needed to do something about her condition. A part of me wondered if she wanted to do this herself and was waiting for someone to tell her, ‘Hey, you’re seriously messed up.’

You’d think Chris was the type to play some Beyoncé or Scissor Sisters in the car or something, but nope, the car ride home had the radio off and no one was saying a word after Molly was in the car. The silence was painful.

Sooner than later, we arrived back home. “Here we are.” Chris said simply, albeit flamboyantly. “You good to go, hun?”

Molly smiled sweetly at Chris. “Yeah. Thanks.” she simply said. She began to get out of the car, as did I.

“Do you need ... do you want any company or anything? Are you okay?” I clumsily asked her as she began to walk back to the house.

She looked puzzled. “Why would I need that?” she asked me.

I shrugged. “I dunno. In case you want any. I dunno.”

She looked at me weirdly. “I mean, if you want to hang around I won’t say no.” she replied coolly. Detachedly.

I sighed and tried my best to hide any disappointment on my face. “Sure, sounds good.” We both made our way back inside, with Chris bringing up the rear. I turned around to smile at him, trying to communicate my dissatisfaction with this whole thing without saying anything. The way he smiled back let me know that he was feeling pretty similarly.

As soon as I closed the door to Molly’s room from the inside, I sat down on the bed and threw my head into my hands, sighing deeply.

“You okay?” Molly asked, a little distantly. It hurt, even after all this time. She could at least pretend to care.

I debated whether to respond with ‘yeah’ or ‘no’ in my head, so I just turned off my thinking and let whatever would come to mind first fly out of my mouth.

“I made you an alcoholic.”

A pause. Molly said nothing. Eventually, I heard her chair creak as she calmly walked up beside me, then sit down next to me.

The grabbed the wrist of one of my hands and dragged it away from my face, only to fold it into one of her own hands. “Hey.” she began softly to make me pay attention to her. Slowly my head rose to look her in the eye. My eyebrows heightened in anticipation of what she was about to say, which she clearly was struggling to get out. “I actually let myself go before any of this stupid drama even began.”

How like Molly to refer to me assaulting her and the fallout of such as ‘stupid drama.’ My eyebrows went even higher. “What?”

“Yeah.” She nodded, and gave a somber smile. “I just ... yeah. For a while. A long while. Stuff has been piling up for a while.”

“How long is ‘a while,’ Molly?” I asked incredulously, no longer slouching on the bed.

“I didn’t exactly mark down the day.” Molly replied lamely. She chuckled slightly, but the chuckle quickly turned into an uncomfortable cough as her eyes welled up. “I don’t ... like myself. I really don’t like myself. I started drinking a long time ago. I was smart about it, I knew to only drink if I thought you weren’t going to barge in or if you were out or something...”

My face flooded with guilt as I realized that whenever I was out having sex with some college girl, Molly was hating herself and drinking her problems away, slowly destabilizing. All this time and I could have seen the signs, I could have helped her if I wasn’t so obsessed with getting another notch on my belt.

“ ... and it was nice.” Molly continued. “Probably bad for me, but at least it felt nice. I forgot a lot when I was drunk. I’d wake up and see I texted like six people I haven’t talked to in months. I forgot about the world, for just a few hours. I forgot about why I didn’t like myself. Sometimes I’d just straight-up forget the fact that I didn’t like myself.” She turned to face me and smiled plainly. “So it’s not your fault, Aaron. You didn’t make me like this.”

“Molly ... I’m so sorry...” I slowly started.

Molly shrugged. “Don’t be. It’s whatever. I don’t want to care about it. I get why I need to stop, but it just helped me overall. It does suck because it costs a lot, and I know you judge me for it.”

“No, I don’t, don’t worry.” I soothed her.

“I know you do.” she fired back with some heat. We met eyes and I could see behind the anger, a girl whose trust I’d broken before pleading with me not to lie to her, never to lie to her again. I had to admit, I’d fallen into the habit of telling her what I thought she wanted to hear the most, and in the meantime, had refrained from telling her what I thought and felt. Maybe what I should have been telling her.

“Okay, yes. I’m worried though.” I defended myself. “I don’t think it’s how you should ... I mean...”

“Live? How I should live?” Molly asked me. I nodded. “Yeah, I’m making a few of those mistakes.” she chuckled to herself. “But I’m making them on my own terms.”

“Fucking up on your own terms.” I nodded. “I remember.” We both looked at each other for a bit before I felt my mouth opening again. “Am I ... is this ... us having sex. Is that you fucking up?”

Molly’s expression didn’t change. Not humor, not discomfort, not anything. “I don’t know.” she told me plainly. “I mean, if you were to view this from the outside, probably I shouldn’t be having sex with you. I shouldn’t have had sex with Carson either. But I had sex with both of you. It’s probably really weird for me that I had sex with you specifically after all this, but we’re here now.” She put a hand on my thigh and made a facial expression I had never seen from Molly before. Like a humorous ‘fuck everything’ expression. “I don’t regret it. If given the chance to live the last little bit again, I’d still have sex with you.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I’d still have sex with you too, if you even need me to say that. I’m sorry I’m still so weak.”

“Hey, I told you to stop with the apologizing.” Molly replied, her hand now rubbing my thigh. She slowly looked up into my eyes and gave me a knowing, an almost challenging, smile.

I knew what was coming and in the moment, shared her attitude of ‘fuck everything.’ If I was weak, I was going to enjoy it. Assertively, I grabbed her by the back of the neck as I moved in to make out with her. Molly gladly reciprocated, her breath caught in her chest as she kissed me back. With one hand on the back of her neck, my other travelled down her clothed body, exploring her modest curves and telling her just how much I loved her body.

Both of us knew we shouldn’t be doing this, but for now, in this particular chapter in our fucked-up lives, that’s what made the both of us want it more. As our kisses evolved, our tongues began to explore each other’s mouths as our hunger grew. We had done an awful lot of talking, but we both could communicate pretty wordlessly what it was we wanted.

I made a show of kissing my way up Molly’s body as I removed her shirt and bra. As I undid her jeans, I sucked on her nipple. Molly removed my shirt herself, and as she removed my pants, slid down with them and made sure to get a good long taste of me. I’m sure she only meant to tease me, but as she began to get into a rhythm of me sliding into her mouth over and over, she resigned herself to the position and eagerly started sucking me off as her hand slipped into her panties and she started masturbating.

Molly wasn’t the best at giving blowjobs, but even just seeing such a formerly innocent pure soul corrupted and now so eager for my cock that she literally could help but suck it made this my favorite kind of blowjob – a blowjob from Molly. Every once in a while she would look up at me with her big, innocent eyes and see how much I was enjoying myself. Then she would smile with her eyes, squinting just a little in her own cute way. I loved that smile, and fuck it all, I loved her.

As much as I loved getting serviced by her, I equally loved servicing her too. After a few minutes of her sucking on me, I reached down to communicate it was time to move on and motioned for her to get on the bed. With a grin of realization, she complied and hurriedly removed her panties, spreading her legs apart as she welcomed my fingers, tongue, or cock. Today I decided to service her with my tongue, and as I moved into position, I heard her sigh with short breath in anticipation.

With my fingers lightly brushing across her thighs lovingly, I extended my tongue and gave the first slow lick up her slit. Molly sighed contentedly, followed by a slow, lazy, satisfied moan as she knew my tongue would be working on her for a fair while.

And it would be. As my hands travelled up and down her thighs, my tongue continued its journey, making Molly pant, then moan, then eventually break her silence.

“Oh, oh my god, Aaron...”

That gave me the confidence to keep up my oral attack with spirit. I could figure out that Molly wasn’t the most vocal during sex, so any time I got her to say my name, to show both her and myself that the thoughts of me had invaded her mind enough to get them to spill out of her mouth, it meant she was mine. She had nothing on her mind but two things – Aaron, and the pleasure he gave her.

I alternated between lapping at her slit and gently playing with Molly’s very sensitive clit as one finger, then two, began to penetrate her. Molly’s shoulders rose up and down in an almost exaggerated way as the sensations built up within her. By the time I had stopped, I’m sure Molly would have tried to make a flirtily disappointed expression if her eyes weren’t glossed over and she could see straight.

But she and I both knew what was coming. I crawled up the bed to face her, grinning with confidence as she regained her composure and smiled back at me.

“P-play it safe, Aaron.” Molly breathed, still trying to catch her breath.

“Top drawer?” I asked. Molly nodded. I hopped off the bed and opened her top drawer to find a freshly bought pack of condoms. Magnums.

“Thanks.” I replied. “I have some free ones from the university in my room, but...”

“Too small, I know.” Molly replied, still breathily. “Why do you think I bought them? Hurry up and get over here.”

With the condom applied, I resumed my position, crawling up to Molly who was passing the time by gently rubbing her clit and looking me up and down. By the time I had positioned myself in front of her, Molly was looking at my cock in anticipation and biting her lower lip. I held myself there, only barely touching her, as I looked her in the eyes and raised my eyebrows, asking an invisible question. Molly softly smiled as she nodded.

That was the invitation I was waiting for. Slowly, I slid myself into her, going slow and watching her face as the head, then the shaft, slowly disappeared inside her. Molly took a sharp inhale and let her head hang back as she adjusted to my size. Slowly, her hips ground against me, first in a circular motion then back and forth, until her head came back up and she gave me a wink.

Giving her a wink in response, I began to push my hips back and forth, her eager wetness making the process simple. Instantly, she began to breathe heavier.

“Fuck yes. I’ve been wanting this all day.” she panted. “God, Aaron you’re so good at this.” With that, she wrapped her arms around me and began to admire my shoulderblades with her hands, with her hips rising up to meet mine.

In amongst her slight moans, Molly cleared her throat, almost nervously. “Aaron, choke me.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, taken a little off guard.

“I’m sure. Do it, sir.” Molly practically moaned, making me smile in slight disbelief. My hand went from supporting me on the bed to trailing up her body, then stopped.

“Beg for it.” I found myself saying.

Molly grunted in slight sexual frustration. “Please, Aaron. Choke me. Claim my throat like you’re claiming my whole body. I want this so bad.” By the end, she had raised her voice, moaning like a little schoolgirl for me.

I chuckled in a low voice. “Blood or air?”

“I don’t know. Let’s try blood.” she replied, and my hand rose up to meet her throat, closing in around the sides. I squeezed harder and harder as I kept fucking her in the same rhythm, timing my thrusts so that she’d feel faint at the exact moments I had filled her up the most. Molly’s eyes went back as her eyelids fluttered closed. Every so often, I’d release slightly, keeping her awake enough to feel every sensation coursing through her body without her passing out.

Molly tried to speak, tried to make words, but none could come out as she struggled to form basic consonants. Her body was too busy reacting to every sensation, her brain overwhelmed with the pleasure and heightened sensations, balanced with barely being conscious. Her mind could only process and feel one thing – pure pleasure. Her moans quickly turned into the gasp-laughs I knew her for, her sex-laugh. She was close. I kept up the pace and smiled in concentration as my hand worked its magic on her neck. Her body began to stiffen and her muscles contracted slightly against me as I gave it a few more thrusts before staying fully inside her. I allowed her to enjoy me impaling her fully as she came, grinding her hips on me.

Molly gave a long, satisfied grunt as her body deflated like a balloon, seemingly sinking into the bed. I released the grip on her neck and kissed her on the forehead, retracting myself from inside her. OVer the course of a minute, we both regained our strength and found ourselves in sitting positions on the bed.

“Sorry.” Molly mumbled.

“For what?”

“You didn’t get to finish. As usual.”

“That’s not your fault.” I replied. “I’m just kinda desensitized. I rarely cum during sex. I mean, it does happen, just not often. It’s nothing you did.”

“More than half the time?” she inquired.

“Less. A lot less.”

“Then what’s even the point of sex for you?” she asked.

“Huh?”

“If you’re going into sex expecting not to even get to climax, that kind of takes away the point for a guy, right? And you have a high sex drive. So why do it? Why don’t you just jack off?”

“Well, for one, as you just pointed out, I have a high sex drive.” I replied, absentmindedly jerking off my dick slowly as if to prove a point. “Also ... I dunno. It’s like, I enjoy the connection. If sex isn’t about getting off, it kind of moves the goalposts. It’s about pleasing my partner, or it’s about connecting, discovering their kinks...”

Molly smiled and rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah, what an altruist.” she told me as she began to put her clothes back on.

“Well ... it’s true!” I protested. “Fuckin’ ... you try never cumming during sex, then find out why you do it. Live in my world a little.”

Molly laughed in response, now fully clothed, and went to her desk to get something. I removed the condom and started to clothe myself. By the time I was fully clothed, Molly was sitting at her desk, drinking out of a bottle of some kind of whisky.

My eyes flared. “Um ... hold on.” I began awkwardly.