Chapter 4

Shrouded in darkness, I lay alone on my tarp. Once it had sunk in that Maria was gone, I had tried to convince my father to change his mind and find her. Bring her back. But when Dad thought he was right, he was a mule. What was to become of her? How long would she survive? Guilt kept me awake, and loneliness. I missed Maria and placed my hand on the tarp where she would have been lying.

Somehow I fell asleep.

When I awoke, I thought Maria would be next to me. She wasn't and I felt that emptiness again.

Dad and I did our normal chores. At every turn I expected to see Maria, but I didn't. She was gone. I had never felt less like a man as I did that day. Why hadn't I stood up for her? With her leaving, the last of us was going to die alone anyway. Why make Maria suffer?

That night my mother wanted sex so my father obliged her. I didn't even bother watching. Instead, I turned away and clamped my hands over my ears. It was sex that had driven Maria away.

Somehow I fell asleep.

The next day I awoke to my father's voice. He stood at the open door with his back to me. I looked over at Mom lying on her tarp and then back at him. I bolted upright. Someone found us. We were saved. Then I heard Maria.

"You win," she said.

I jumped to my feet and ran to stand next to my father. Maria sat on the floor with her head tilted back looking up at Dad. Tear tracks ran down her dirty cheeks. Her hair was tangled and she had scratches on her arms and legs. Her clothes looked dirtier than usual, and she had just washed them the other day at the stream.

"This wasn't a contest," Dad said with more warmth than I thought he was capable of. "I truly believe it's for the best. That's the only reason I suggested it."

"Suggested?"

"Okay, insisted. But for what I believe is for the right reason."

Maria stared up at Dad and then glowered at me. I lowered my eyes.

"I'll do it," she said.

Had I heard Maria correctly? She'd have sex with me, bear my children? I looked from her to my father. Maria's eyes were downcast. My father was staring at her.

"Maria," my father said, "you look like the last couple of days were hard on you. I'm sorry, I truly am. I never wanted to hurt you. I still don't."

Maria looked up. "I haven't had much sleep. I was afraid all the time. I heard a lot of animals running around so I spent last night here outside the door. I think I had just fallen asleep when you opened the door and woke me."

"Take a nap. We'll leave you alone. Then you can wash up, and then..." Dad never finished, but both Maria and I knew what he meant. "Are you hungry?"

"I ate some fruit. I'm too tired to eat."

"Then take a nap. Do you mind if Mrs. Walters remains in the shack?"

Maria shook her lowered head. Dad tapped her shoulder. She looked up and swept her hair off her face. He held out a hand. She hesitated, but took it and stood up. He caught her when she wobbled, but then she stood on her own.

Dad and I left to do chores and fish.

When we returned for lunch, Dad went into the shack to get Mom. I peeked and saw that Maria was still sleeping. She awoke with a start when my mother made a noise as Dad picked her up.

Holding my mother in his arms, Dad said to Maria, "We're going to have lunch. Do you want to eat?"

She nodded.

Not much was said during lunch. Maria gobbled down two portions of fish while my father attended to Mom. When we were done, Dad cleared his throat. Both Maria and I looked at him.

"Bobby, I think it would be best if you two were alone the first time. I felt uncomfortable with you and Maria in the shack when your mom and I, um, when we did it the first few times. It would be worse for you."

Maria glared at my father.

He looked at Maria and then back at me. "Maria's a mess and so are her clothes. I'm afraid my decision was hard on her. And you haven't smelled so good lately. Take her upstream. You'll have privacy. Both of you wash your clothes in the stream and bathe. And then, you know."

I looked at Maria who cast her eyes downward. My father carried Mom back into the shack.

I said to Maria, "I'm sorry."

"No you're not. You wanna to do this."

"Yes, I do, but I'm still sorry."

"You don't have to. You could have told your father no."

"You don't know my father."

She looked towards the shack and then whispered, "Then you can tell him we did it. How would he know we didn't?"

"You won't get pregnant."

"I don't want a baby!"

"I do."

Maria stared at me with wide eyes. Her mouth opened, but no words came forth.

"I don't want to die alone," I said.

"We'll be rescued."

"I don't believe that anymore. They would have found us by now."

Tears formed in Maria's eyes. "But I don't want a baby."

I crawled to where she was sitting and brushed her wet cheek. She jerked her head away. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as she struggled to break free. When her body relented, I patted her back.

"Please don't cry," I said.

I took her hand and got to my feet. When she remained seated, I tugged. Yanking her hand free, she stood up.

"This is going to happen," I said. "If you want to stay with us, you'll have to do what Dad says. I know him better than you. He won't change his mind. Let's do what he said."

I held my hand out, but she didn't take it. "Let's go."

I turned and started walking upstream. When I glanced over my shoulder, Maria was lagging behind, but following. The walk gave me time to think. This wasn't how I had planned my first time. What if I did it wrong? She's older. More experienced. She'd laugh at me.

We reached the place I had spied on Maria. I stopped. There was the outcropping I had hid behind. I turned around. Maria, still a few yards behind me, stood with her arms crossed. She glared at me. Her lips pressed together.

"I think this is a good place," I said.

Maria looked around and shrugged.

"Let's wash our clothes first," I said.

Maria took a step back. She scanned the area again. "Where should I go?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where should I wash my clothes?"

"Right here."

"Where will you wash yours?"

"Maria, did you change your mind?"

She chewed her bottom lip and stared at her toes. "No. I don't have a choice."

"Then we're going to see each other naked. Right?"

When she looked up, her bottom lip quivered. Her face was red all the way to the collar of her shirt. She rubbed her hands on the sides of her shorts. Nodding, she looked back down.

"Okay, then, let's wash our clothes," I said.

Neither of us moved. I was acting brave, but the insides of my stomach churned. I waited for Maria to look up. When she did, I pulled my tee-shirt over my head. She had seen me without a shirt before, but she stared at my chest. Or was she avoiding my eyes?

"Your turn," I said.

Her head shot up. "Fuck you."

She whipped her shirt off and flung it to the ground. Dropping her arms to her sides, her hands tightened into fists, but she stood a few paces from me baring her breasts.

My cock stiffened. I covered my crotch with the hand holding my tee-shirt. Maria's eyes followed my hand and then she looked back at my face. I couldn't meet her stare so my eyes dropped to her chest. Her nipples were bigger — standing out — hard.

I let my tee-shirt fall to the ground, unsnapped my shorts, and lowered the zipper. I pushed the shorts down and stepped out of them. Maria's eyes moved to my crotch again, this time lingering there, and I saw her cheeks flush. My hard cock pushed out the front of my briefs. When she looked up, I pointed to her shorts. Maria lowered them to her ankles by bending at the waist and then sprang back up. She stood before me in only pink panties. Her deep breaths raised and lowered her shoulders. Her fingers balled into fists again.

After I removed my underwear, Maria pushed her pink panties down her legs and stepped out of them. She stood in front of me naked. I couldn't help but stare at the juncture of her legs. The cropped pubic hairs reminded me of watching her cut it off with the knife. If I didn't do something soon I'd climax without even touching myself.

Gathering my clothes up, I walked into the stream and began washing them. We didn't have soap, so it was more soaking with an occasional rub. Dad told us not to rub too much or else we'd wear out the material. I spotted Maria getting into the water. Now waist deep, she washed her clothes away from me.

After we spread our wet clothes out on bushes to dry, Maria reentered the stream. She leaned forward and splashed water on her face, scrubbing the dirt away with her hands. Then she leaned forward more, submerging her long hair in the water. She washed it underwater. After standing up straight, she started to wash her breasts but stopped when she saw me watching her. She turned her back to me and washed them. I got into the water and also bathed. Dad had said I smelled.

When I was done, I got out of the stream. Maria remained in it with her back to me. I waited. She didn't move. I waited some more and then went back into the water. I approached her from behind and placed a hand on her shoulder. She stiffened but didn't turn around. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her to my body. She didn't move, that is, until my hard cock bumped her ass. Then she broke free and spun around with her arms crossed over her breasts.

"I can't," she shouted, moving away from me.

"Why?"

"It's a sin."

"Bullshit. You've done it before."

Maria's bottom lip quivered. "Never. I never did it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm Catholic."

"So?"

"You can only do it when you're married."

My jaw dropped. "You're a virgin?"

She nodded.

"But I saw..."

She blushed redder than I had ever seen her. Her eyes lowered. She chewed her bottom lip. With her head still lowered she said, "I know. Your father told me."

"What! You mean— He— Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Then it dawned on me. "So he saw me too?"

Maria nodded.

"So that's what this is all about?"

She nodded again.

After a pause, I said, "But he's right."

Maria looked up.

"No one is going to find us," I said. "He's right about dying alone unless we procreate. Maria..." I waded through the water until I was close to her and took her hand. I held it within my two against my chest. "This is going to sound silly, but..." I looked down and then back at her face, at her big brown eyes. "will you be my wife?"

"Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not. Look, we've been together for months and I really like you. I love talking to you. Being with you. When you first came along I was against it. I hated the idea. But now that I know you, I'm glad you did. When my father made you leave I felt so alone. I missed you so much. I want you to be my wife. To have my children."