Chapter 1

I'm a big fan of live, community theatre.

I met my late wife, Louise, while playing a rather insignificant role in the Irving Berlin's musical, ANNIE GET YOUR GUN although, there is an old theatrical saying that goes, 'There are no small parts, only small actors!'

Over the years, I've been in over 70 shows, some roles bigger than others, in both straight plays, both comedies and dramas, as well as the occasional musicals.

I've grown up doing theatre, starting with the playing juvenile delinquents to supporting roles, usually playing 'the sidekick' of the lead actor, and sometimes getting a plum part, because I was really prepared and focused at tryouts.

As I've gotten older — I'm now 50 — I find that the young actors are more talented than I was at that age, and in the case of the young ladies, prettier than I remember girls being at that age.

I got an opportunity to tryout for a play written by a local person, John Mitchell, called MY LIFE WITH MY FATHER. It sounded good, I was the right age and I had finally become decent at interpreting a complicated dramatic role.

AUDITIONS

Auditions were at the Union Avenue Community Theatre and there were a lot of younger people at tryouts, but few adults, only one other gentleman my age, and about a dozen women in their 40s.

There was a young person at a table, with the tryout sheets and scenes to tryout with. I knew her from the theatre, but couldn't for the life of me remember her name. She looked up at me and said, "Hello Michael; glad to see you at auditions. It's been a while. Break a leg."

I said thanks and found a place to fill out my form. I attached a Stageography, sort of a resume; but of your stage work, and turned it all in.

With only two men my age and so many young ladies, it would give me a chance to do the scene multiple times with multiple actors. I looked the scene over; I'm a quick study and have become a very good 'cold reader.' They called me in and had me do the scene with a young lady who was already on the stage.

George, the director said, "Hello Michael — this part seems just right for you. Break a leg."

"Any time you're ready, Nichole." Nichole looked up at me, nodded and started,

"Daddy, why did you do that? Mommy would never let you do that to her, why did you expect me to?"

Reaching inside, remembering how my late wife would rile me up for a scene like this, I started, "Honey! Your mother and I have grown apart. We stopped loving each other many, many years ago. You have grown up ... into such a beautiful young woman. Am I not a man — Yes, I am, but I love you ... more than I should. Come here, Jessica — let me hold you! Let me kiss you — let me show you exactly how much I care about my little girl."

"Daddy, what you want from me is called incest — what you want ... is sick. What you want is me. I can't do that with you — you're my Daddy. You're suppose to love me; not make love to me."

"Jess — I've watched you grow up into such a beauty — just let me feel you — kiss you — make love to you."

"OK stop there — thank you both — Wow, Michael — that was intense," George said.

"Well, you know I lost my Louise four years ago and I've no release for my emotions. This is really avant-garde stuff!"

"Thank you, both — Can I get John and Clara up next please?"

"Nichole came up to me and said, "Wow — you were intense, and very good!"

"Thank you," I said. "What's your name?"

"Nichole Fanucchi. I'm 19 and go to college in town."

"Nice to meet you Nichole — Good luck to you!"

"You too — Michael."

"MICHAEL!" George the director, yelled.

"Yes — George?"

"Can you stay and do this scene a few more times with the different actresses here?"

"Sure — but what about the other gentlemen who just tried out?"

"It turns out John has some conflicts with hell week and Steve can't handle the subject matter. So — can you stay?"

"Sure — whatever the director wants!" I'm such a kiss-ass!

"Good answer, Michael."

So I went through the scene again with Marti, then Susan, Jessica, Karol, Kaelyn, Brittney, Lisa, Sarah, Kim, Connie and Meghan.

After it was all over, George came up to me and said, "It's obvious to me, Michael, that you can rock this character. Are you comfortable with the subject matter?"

"Exactly to what extent do they go to ... comfort each other, George?"

"I thought you might ask that. They kiss a bunch, he initiates and then she initiates as well. There will need to be a little physical horseplay, like you touching her butt and simulated groping of her breasts, while she becomes a tease and tries to get you in bed, but there is no sex, either real or simulated."

"Darn it," I said. "Some of those young ladies are pretty hot. Sorry George. I guess I'm getting into the part already."

"That brings me to my other point. I'm offering you the part ... and I want to ask you a question, if it's not too personal?"

"Ask away, George. You directed me in ARSENIC AND OLD LACE, THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE and BYE BYE BIRDIE."

"Did any of those girls actually get you ... excited ... turned on ... anything like that? I saw some moments up there when you looked ... how do I say this — attracted!"

"Yeah, George. A couple of those girls were quite ... attractive. My gut was turning the most when I was on stage with Karol, the knockout with the red hair. The scene with her had a certain amount of playfulness that I didn't pick up from any of the others."

"Perfect — Michael, I saw it too! Here's the whole script. Read-through is on Monday at seven pm. Look it over and tell me if there's anything you want changed. I think you will knock this out of the park, personally. By the way — Karol looks 18 but is 29 years old."

"No way — George, 29? I have a sister-in-law that is only 36. Wow — is she single, George?"

"I was waiting for that one, Michael — I think so. You can talk to her on Monday. It would be OK with me, if you were to become a 'method actor!'"

I laughed out loud and thanked George.

The script was really terrific, if not, a little implausible. Really ... a guy leaves his wife and then hooks up with his daughter because she reminds him of the wife back when they first met. Yeah, right!

Good crisp dialogue, though. I'm glad my kids don't live close enough to come see this. They have seen a number of plays I've been in -- it's just the concept of this play would likely make my daughters uncomfortable, or at least me uncomfortable with either one of them coming to see it.

MONDAY — READTHRU

Seven o'clock arrives. I get to the theatre and waited in the car. There's a knock on the window. I look up and see Karol. I roll the window down, and she says, "Daddy — is that you?"

I decided to play this potentially deadly game with her, "Yes, Honey — what's wrong — Can Daddy do anything to help you. Get in the car and we can talk about it."

"Very good — you actually were beginning to creep me out a little ... my name is Karol — yours is Michael?"

"Very good — get in, we've beaten George here, apparently. What do you think about the script — the story of this play? Does it seem as implausible to you as it does to me?"

Karol responded, "Actually, Michael — I wouldn't doubt if it happens a lot more often than you might think. I knew at least three different girls I went to high school with, who had affairs with their fathers — One of them had to have an abortion!"

"Well, Karol — I'm 50 and when I was in high school, girls only dated boys, and didn't have sex until they were married. Times have certainly changed."

She put her hand on my leg and said, "You're 50 — I would've never thought that, maybe 43 or 44. You may not believe this, but I'm about to turn 30 in eight weeks, actually on our Opening night!"

I looked at her hand and wondered how long she was going to keep it there?

"Karol — pardon the bluntness of this question, but are you seeing anyone? Married? Anything like that?"

"Well, Daddy — why would you ask me a question like that?" she asked, leaning over and giving me a peck on the cheek.

I think I actually blushed.

A car horn went off. Whew — George was here. I turned to Karol and said, "I've always fantasized about loving a woman with red hair!"

"Do you have ... a woman right now?"

"Besides the beautiful one in my car, No!"

"Aren't you the smooth talker? This play is going to be so much fun, Isn't it?"

I started to get out of the car and thought to myself, 'Yes it is!' I went around to the other side of the car and helped Karol out. She smiled at me and said, "A gentleman, too."

We walked together to the theatre. She had put her arm in mine and we walked up to George and he just smiled the wickedest smile.

The other person in the play, Phyllis, showed up and we had our read-through and it went well, despite the sometimes near-pornographic dialogue.

"Go home, I've given you the rehearsal schedule. See you back here on Wednesday to start blocking. Oh, Michael and Karol ... come here a minute, please?"

"Yes — George, what's going on?"

"You two have lot of very emotional, quasi-erotic scenes. I can already see the electricity between the two of you ... I want those scenes as real as they can be, without being obscene. I'm willing to let you two — work out your own blocking, if you get my drift?"

I looked at Karol, she turned to me, and we said together, "Cool, George!"

Karol and I exchanged phone numbers and decided to have some personal rehearsals at my place. We went for drinks after the read-through, talked about our families, and just got to know each other a little ... something I'd never bothered to do before. I was never so captivated by a fellow actor before, either.

As we parted, I turned to Karol and said, "I don't know about you, but I think we have a connection."

"I bet you say that to all your daughters!" she said demurely.

"Maybe, but I don't want to kiss my other daughters the way I want to kiss you, right now?"

"Right now?" Karol said with a devilish smile forming.

"This may sound really hinkey, but whatever plays out between us offstage, we should find a way to use it onstage as well — it could help sell our relationship, on stage and off."

"Well," said Karol. "Kiss me!"

I hadn't kissed a woman with any intensity since before my wife passed four years ago, so I let Karol take charge.

"Oh, Daddy — do I have to start everything between us?"

"Come here you bitch of a daughter," I tightened my grip on her arms and kissed her hard on the lips. She responded and we were kissing in the bar for almost fifteen minutes before ... I asked her, "Follow me to my place, Karol?"

"OK — Daddy!"

We ended up back at my four-bedroom home in the suburbs.

Karol said, "What a big house — Does anybody else live here?"

"Nope, Just me! My two daughters are married and live 300 miles away, and as you have previously found out, my wife died four years ago.

"So, what do you do, when you're not acting? I mean for a living?"

"I'm on permanent disability, that's all I'd like to say on that subject — if you don't mind? I get a check from the government each month. It covers my expenses, which aren't much, anyway."

"What did your wife die from, if you don't mind me asking?"

"No, it's OK. She had a myriad of issues, including chronic pain, cluster headaches, irregular heartbeat and shortness of breath. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of the individual issues, so they bunched it all together and called it SPH, or Secondary Pulmonary Hypertension. She was on eleven different prescriptions, which kept her a little disoriented a lot of the time."

"I said the hell with all that, and took her off all of the prescriptions, cold turkey. She actually got a little better for about three months and then she ... the end came quickly."

Memories of my wife suddenly came rushing back into my head! "I'm sorry, Karol. Whenever I start to think about all this, I get very emotional. For a very brief moment, I considered ending my own life, but my daughters got me through the toughest times."

I'd been on the verge of sobbing through most of this explanation, Karol came over and took my hand and smiled at me in a way that made me feel better about myself.

I started up again, "I actually met Louise, my wife, on the stage that we were on today. It was during a production of ANNIE GET YOUR GUN. It was my first play, her mother was the director and her sister and two youngest brothers were all in the play as well. They told her about 'this goofy guy' in the play. She came to see it, we met backstage, and the rest, as they say is history."

Karol had sat down next to me during this rather cathartic monologue I'd given, and had put her hand on my face and said, faintly, "My poor dear Michael! Is there anything I can do, to make you feel better? Can I pour you a drink of something?"

"No, Karol — I don't drink, I gave it up just before I got married, and through it all, I've never re-started. It's been tempting, but it's my way of being true to my Louise. I don't smoke either ... my only vice has been that I like to be around pretty girls, especially redheads. That picture there, that's my Louise. Married for 25 years. I still wear my wedding ring all the time and I go visit her gravesite as often as possible."

Karol leaned into me and we touched foreheads. She said, "That's such a beautiful story, Michael — I can actually feel the love you still have for her. Do you think you can tap that emotion for this play, or is it all too fresh?"

"This may sound like a pickup line, but having someone in here, in the house with me, is making me feel better; stronger. I'm glad you're here, Karol!"