Chapter 4: Kentucky

Monday September 29

I woke up and ran with Peggy. We hadn't talked on Sunday as she had some family thing to do. I soon found out that she had more calls than I did. We had run for almost a mile when she said something that brought me to a dead stop.

"David, I didn't realize what dating you involved. I think I need to break-up with you ... almost before we start dating," she said and then looked back to see where I was.

"You're kidding me, right?" I asked hopefully.

"No. I need to think this out before I can say if I'll date you. Too many people seem to have an interest in us as a couple. Did you know that Tami called me from the UK? She told me about the possible media and your faux girlfriends. It just seems like a lot that I need to process before I can say for sure."

I silently cussed Tami. How dare her! Whatever happened to running our own lives? I was supposed to stay out of her life, yet she was making calls checking up on me. Peggy saw my mood change for the worse. I mumbled something about needing some time alone, and took off at a pace I knew she couldn't maintain. I somehow found my way home. I had no recollection as to where I ran, or for how long.

Dad found me sitting on the drive with my knees pulled up to my chin and my arms wrapped around my legs. He squatted down next to me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Tami called Peggy to give her the third degree about dating me. Peggy got overwhelmed with everyone calling her, so we are no longer dating. Hell, we never really got started!"

"Come on," he said reaching out to help me up.

I looked confused.

"There is no need to tell this twice. Let's go find your mom."

I chuckled.

"I think you might actually have women figured out."

"Don't jinx me like that," Dad worried.

We walked in on Mom talking on the phone.

"No, he just walked in," she said and handed me the phone. "This is David."

"I wanted to call and congratulate you on finally dating Peggy. I know that has been something you have always wanted to do," said a pleased Tami.

"Yeah, thanks. She broke up with me this morning."

"What, why?"

"So many people called her that she freaked out. She just told me," I looked at the clock. I was going to be late for school. "I've got to run, or I'll be late for school."

I handed the phone back to Mom, and went to my apartment to shower and change. I came out to find my mom sitting on my bed.

"SHhhhhit ... MOM!" I complained.

"Get over it, and get dressed," she said as I scrambled to find my boxers.

"Are you upset that Peggy broke up with you?" Mom asked.

I shrugged.

"Not really. We had one date, if she doesn't want to date me, that's fine. I'm sure we'll be friends, even if we're not dating."

"Tami wants to know if you're mad at her."

"Mom, we are getting into that territory again. If I talk to you, I can't be honest with you... 'cuz you're just gonna go tell Tami. So just tell her I'm fine, and I look forward to seeing her when she gets back," I said, and Mom scowled at me.

I just froze.

My mom had just chosen Tami over me!

I suddenly felt really sad, and Mom saw it in my eyes. I grabbed my duffel bag and left. What a terrible day, and I hadn't even gotten to school, yet.

I could hear her calling my name as I ran out of the apartment.

I got to school and was being checked out by the trainers when I heard my name being called to come to the office. I should have just been late for school. Mom was standing in the office and she was pissed. She grabbed my arm and we went into the vice principals office. He took one look at my mom and excused himself. Smart man.

"I wasn't done talking to you," she started off.

"I was done talking to you," I shot back.

You never ever, ever, ever talked back to my mom. I think she finally realized how mad I was. I could see her visibly trying to keep herself under control. She lost that battle.

"You will never speak to me in that tone of voice again. Do you understand me, mister?"

I just glared at her.

"I asked you a question."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Now tell me if you're mad at Tami or not," she ordered me.

"No, Ma'am. I won't do that."

"Why not?" she asked.

She was going to make me spell it out to her.

"We had an agreement. I couldn't contact Tami, except if something huge happened in my life ... like I won State. She was going to stop meddling, in mine. My family was going to stop sharing every little thing, with her. I think you might remember that conversation. We actually had a family meeting about it."

"Stop being a smartass, and tell me why you won't talk to me."

"Tami asked you if I was mad at her. That implies that you plan on calling her back, and giving her a full report. If I tell you my honest feelings at this moment in time, Tami will be hurt."

"I can't believe you would think I would do that," Mom accused me.

"Well, there I go again. I'm jumping to conclusions, and making an ass out of myself. I'll admit I am wrong, and I apologize to both you and Tami. I hope you'll forgive me."

I think my complete lack of sincerity came through in spades. Mom wasn't buying it.

"Do you want me to stop talking to Tami?" Mom asked.

I thought about it for a minute. Did I really want to get between Mom and Tami's friendship?

"No, I really don't. Just don't ask me how I feel about Tami. It'll save one of us from having to lie to the other: me to you, or you to Tami."

Mom and I were too much alike. We hadn't had a fight like this in almost a year and a half.

"Too bad your father isn't here. He loves to play referee," Mom said causing me to crack a smile.

"I think he's too old for this. He would have a conniption fit, and we both would be grounded for life."

I actually felt better after our blowup. I think that's why Mom is the way she is, sometimes.

I got back to finish getting checked out by the trainers. Nothing seemed to be really injured. I was bruised, though, and they treated me for that. While I was getting treatment, Becky caught me up on the whole Eastside saga.

"Brad's wrist is broken, his shoulder was strained and he has three cracked ribs. Cassidy just had a knot on her head. She's fine, no concussion."

"Do you know what happened?"

"The ass-hats went to the concession stand at halftime. Some of the Eastside fans recognized them and made some comments. Things escalated and before you knew it offers were made to go to the parking lot. The police charged the Eastside group because they had bats waiting for them in the back of a pickup truck. The police said it was premeditated and that they lured our guys into the parking lot."

"How did Cassidy get hurt?"

"She saw what Brad was up to and went to make sure he didn't get hurt. She actually is the one that hurt the two Eastside guys. One of the guys hit her with a bat. When she went down, they got scared, and ran. Too many people saw who did it, and they all got caught."

"I bet we'll have the National Guard here, next year," I joked.

"I think they are afraid to piss you off. Did you see the article about the game, Sunday?"

"No. I just went to church and watched football with Dad."

"When you get a chance, read it. Eastside's coach said you were a one man wrecking crew. I don't think they want you mad, next year," she said then laughed. "Moose even said he couldn't get you off the field. Did you really tell him that you would only let up once you knew Cassidy was okay?"

"I don't really remember. It wouldn't surprise me, though."

The bell rang so I had to go to class.

When I got to lunch, there was a new guy sitting at our table. It was Neil Presley. He was a sophomore tackle that I knew from junior high. We hung out sometimes and I liked him. He came over and sat down with me.

"Emma told me that before I could ask her out, I had to come and talk to you," Neil said.

"Yep, I think you would be perfect for her. Go give her the good news," I said.

"They had me thinking you were going to be tough."

"Only pushy freshmen get that treatment. I know you'll treat Emma right, so don't make me act like her big brother and we will be fine."

He got up and sat next to Emma who was smiling from ear-to-ear. As soon as Neil left, Maggie took his seat.

"I have a question," she said.

"I have an answer," I shot back.

"If I had just said yes to our date, would you have taken me out?"

"That would be a yes. I think by now I can plan a first date without having to get approval."

"What did you and Peggy do on your date?"

I wasn't surprised that she knew about Peggy. I was surprised that she didn't know about her calling a time out. I figured that would be all over the school if Tami knew. Maybe she was keeping her word. Well, at least part of her word.

"We went to a dance club near State, with my brother and his wife."

"That sounds like a pretty good first date," Maggie said.

I just shook my head and went to class as the bell rang.

While I was at football practice, Cassidy had almost everyone back to the afternoon workout for the first time in a few weeks. My guys had worked hard to make sure we had a big turnout. She had promised something they didn't want to miss. Lily went and videotaped it so I, and the other guys, could see it. After practice, Coach Hope brought the team into the auditorium so he could see it.

When we came in, I saw Brad and Cassidy sitting in the front row. I sat down next to Cassidy, to Jim's dismay. I really hadn't seen my little friend in a while, so Jim sat beside me to allow me some time with Cassidy. All I got to do is say 'Hey' before Coach Hope made us quiet down so that we could see what happened.

"Today we had a recommitment made by members of the program. They had a special guest speaker in Brad Hope. I haven't seen this, but Cassidy felt strongly enough that she asked that I show it to the team."

He then turned on the video. In front of the room was Brad looking nervous. Lily scanned the crowd to show that there was a nice turnout for today's workout. Brad seemed to gather himself.

"Some of you might know that my dad had a little heart-to-heart with me this weekend. He finally got my attention when he told me You have to stop being a little bitch."

The kids got a laugh out of that, as did we, while Coach Hope looked uncomfortable.

"There are a couple of ways I could have taken that. My first instinct was to ... well ... let's just say I had the crap beat out of me this weekend and I didn't need a repeat performance, and I let my first instinct go. Then I thought about it, and I realized he was right. I have been acting like a little bitch. Dad pointed out that I have a history of finding excuses or short cuts, when it comes to actually doing the work."

You could see Brad gathering his thoughts on the video. He began to pace.

"Dad pointed out that I was lucky that I was finding this out, now, while I'm eighteen, and not when I'm ... say ... thirty-eight. Dad is big on life lessons. Normally, I try to ignore him, because I don't think he understands me. To be fair, no one can understand me ... just as no one can understand you. What we are going through is ours to own. Dad then hit me with doing what it takes, and it comes down to courage. So, in the span of a minute and a half, my dad had called me a little bitch and a coward. Trust me, that's two things you never want to hear from your dad."

Brad paused to make sure he had everyone attention.

"As many of you have probably guessed, I used steroids as a short cut to getting ready for the football season. It's not that I don't have the physical ability to do the work, but I get in my own way," he said pointing to his head. "I make up excuses or find better things to do, instead of putting the work in. So how do I stop being a little bitch? How can I just man up, and do the work?

"And for the rest of you ... how can you stop making those same excuses? How can you avoid being little bitches?"

Cassidy was right. This was worth seeing. He had everyone in the auditorium listening. I glanced over at Brad, and he looked really nervous. I could tell this meant a lot to him. He was putting it all out there. That can be a scary thing.

"So just to rub salt in the wound, my father was nice enough to point out one last thing: if we don't fix this, we will be little bitches the rest of our lives! We're lucky it is showing up right now, because we can still fix this. I don't want to be the guy that no one can count on to do the work that's needed. Not just in work, but in life. Years from now, I don't want to show up at my job, and be too scared to ask for a day off. I don't want to live my life that way. I don't think you do, either.

"You can't say yes, you can't say no; you don't own yourself, and you have an excuse for EVERYTHING! You will be a little bitch for the rest of your life!

"Well, there's a way to avoid that. I think most of you noticed it, and you're going to deal with it ... starting now. That is why you all showed up, today. So you would become winners. It's about owning yourself."

Brad was really into it now. His passion was coming through, and his movements were much more assertive.

"So now that we all know that skipping workouts makes you all a bunch of little bitches, what do you do? You're going to have to practice. For some of you, apparently coming to Cassidy's workout is too scary. I understand. I didn't want to kill myself doing it, either. I should be the poster boy for taking short cuts and reaping the consequences."

He seemed to sag at that admission. These were hard things to admit to yourself, let alone a room full of your peers. He looked at Cassidy, and she gave him a smile that seemed to help him continue.

"Dad suggested that I start with things that might be a little easier for me, if I wanted to develop the character virtue of courage. So where can you become courageous? How? Try this. Go to lunch and stand up and sing a song. Go to a dance and actually dance. Do that thing that feels a little weird, but you can do it. Go to the mall and ask the pretty girl or the good looking guy out. 'Hey, I'm Brad and I think you're pretty and would like to get your number so I could call you sometime.' Scary, right? Think of what makes you uncomfortable and do something to overcome it. You need to start becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.

"The moment that discomfort begins to take you over, you are no longer in control. The circumstances are controlling you. Working out is one of those uncomfortable situations. I would use it to train you to have courage to take on the tough things. Working out really isn't that tough. Life is. If you can't even work out, life will kick your butts!

"Learning courage is not something that you can do over night. You have to do the work, to gain the courage. Coming every day to get your butt beat by Cassidy will teach you to become courageous.

"Once you have even a little courage, then everything that once seemed hard, is easier to overcome. You have to do the thing, to have the power. I challenge you to not go read a book about courage. I challenge you to not ask any more questions or make any more excuses. Don't read about it, don't think about it, and don't talk about it to your friends. Go and fucking do the thing! Go practice courage!"

He had us mesmerized. This was a side I had never seen in Brad. If he had been like this last spring, I would have followed him anywhere. It was too bad it had not happened sooner.

"Look, I sound harsh, but we only get this life once. You only get opportunities once. I will never play another down of organized football! Think about that. Because I didn't have the courage to put the work in, I lost my senior year of football. That might sound like a little thing in the grand scheme, but for me it is almost unbearable. I did this to myself, because I was a little bitch."

Cassidy went up to him and hugged him in the video. I saw her grab his hand and hold it now.

Then Brad continued, "I know you are all thinking. Why listen to this guy? He's the one who fucked up! I'll tell you why. It is because I plan on turning things around. I will develop the courage to live life how I want it. I'm done being afraid to put the work in! I will start today. I will be at every one of Cassidy's workouts. I ask you to do the same," Brad said as he finished and Cassidy ran up to him and hugged him again in the video.

I got up and gave Brad a hug. He had given us all something to think about. We all knew what was needed, but did we have the courage to actually do it? I could see the determination in everyone's body language. I felt we had just turned an important corner in our football season thanks to Brad Hope. Who knew?

Wednesday October 1

Peggy still had not figured out if she wanted to date me or not. Word had spread about our breakup, and my mom's visit to school. I was really feeding the rumor mill this week. Then my phone rang as I was walking into school. It was Teddy Wesleyan.

"David, I see you are tearing it up on the football field. I was a little worried when I read your stats for the first couple of games."

"Coach finally let us loose against Eastside. We had played more conservative the first two games. Coach was worried that since we are mainly sophomores playing, so he kept it pretty basic to start with," I said and then asked why he called.

"I have an extra ticket to the Kentucky vs. South Carolina game. We plan on flying down Friday night after your game."

"What are the rules for something like this?" I asked, worried because I knew he was a major booster.

"You have to pay for everything," Teddy told me, and then gave me the amount it was going to cost me.

"Let me get permission, and I'll call you right back," I said and then hung up.

I called my Dad. I figured I would have better luck with him since he was still talking to me. He gave me permission. I called Teddy and we got everything set. I couldn't wait to call John and Nancy and let them know I would be there this weekend. Neither of them answered their phones, so I sent them text messages telling them when I would be in town.

At lunch, the cheerleaders were in full wing-women mode. They had a list of potential girlfriends for me.

"Girls, slow your roll. I don't need a girlfriend."

"You are such a 'stupid boy'. We all know you want someone to go out with," Kylie said.

"Besides, this gives them something to do, instead of talk about that lovely vampire show," Wayne offered.

He was getting better, but saying it was lovely kind of gave him away. My choice would have been to just bite my tongue. That might not be true, but it would have worked out better for him. They all gave him the stink eye.

"I missed it, what happened?" I asked.

"Well, you know Ashley and how she can't figure out which one to date?" Faith began.

They were off to the races on that topic. Nick winked at me. He saw what I had done. Wayne looked like he wanted to slit his wrist. Ray, the poor dumbass, seemed to be getting into it. Neil was just nodding every once in a while. By the end of lunch, we found out that poor Ashley was going to pick the evil brother. How could she?

When I got home I got a text from John to jump onto video chat. I was surprised to find Nancy on with him. John wanted to talk football.

"How many touchdowns did you throw on Friday?"

"I don't know, seven or eight, why?" I asked.

"You threw eight. Did you know that ties you for the most thrown in a game this year so far?"

"Where do you come up with this stuff? Are you sitting around looking up stats all day? I thought you were a college student," I teased him.

"The coaching staff told me today. They had one of their stat boys looking it up. They are excited you are coming in to see us play against South Carolina since they should be a tough test for us."

"They were 11 and 2, last year. That might give a clue how good they are."

Nancy cleared her throat. I guess our football talk was over.

"So how come you two are hanging out?" I asked.

"I'm John's big sister. Our sorority got asked to be big sisters to John's fraternity's pledge class. We meet them at the fraternity each Wednesday night, to check up on them. I think I'm the best big sister ever," Nancy shared.

Oh, boy! Something was up.

"Don't believe her, David. Last week she made me go to a folk music thing that was awful. Tonight it is women's poetry night. I'm guessing I'll be the only guy in this estrogen fest. She seems to think that I need a well-rounded education. The other pledges are doing normal things like eating pizza and studying with their big sisters."

"Does he complain all the time like this?" I asked.

"He's just getting started. He seems to be missing the big picture. There will be a room full of women," she said.

"None of them are interested in guys," he whined.

"He might have you there," I offered.

"You just stay out of this. I have him well in hand. I don't need him slipping the leash now that I have him house broken."

"See what I have to put up with!" John complained.

"I call bullshit. You wouldn't be going if you didn't want to," I said.

"You stay out of this," John whined.

"And you, Mr. David Dawson, are taking me to a dinner-dance on Saturday night," Nancy told me.

"Yes, I am. It's a fund raiser for the college of medicine. Teddy Wesleyan bought a table for the night. I hear it's next to Ashley Judd's table. Did you hear her mom is better? She had some kind of liver disease that she just got over," I supplied them with what Teddy had told me.

"Hepatitis C. It's almost always fatal," Nancy said.

"Did you ever tell Nancy about you meeting Ashley?" John asked.

"No, why don't you fill her in between poetry readings. I'm sure the girls will love that story," I offered.

He just shook his head. I was looking forward to seeing them both this weekend. I also wanted to see South Carolina in action. They had stepped up their recruitment of me. If they continued to put together 11 – 2 seasons, they might have a shot at the national title when it was time to go to college.

Friday October 3

Coach Hope had warned us that Lakeview would be ready for us. We hadn't believed him. They had lost to Eastside, and we had owned them last week. By the end of the first half, I had done some firsts this year. I had thrown my first interception, I had fumbled, and I had been sacked four times, one of which put me out of the game. The fumble had occurred when two Lakeview linebackers had run past Bert, who wasn't sure which one to block, and they had both hit me a fraction of a second apart. I had been facing the other way and had not seen them. I swear my helmet touched my butt as they tried to snap me in half.

Bert was a blubbering idiot when he saw me writhing in pain. He ignored the ball lying on the ground. One of the Lakeview linemen picked it up and jogged in for the only score at that point. Moose had to keep Coach Hope from killing him. He heard Bert's excuse for not blocking. I liked coach's suggestion of just picking one if he wasn't sure.

As I was lying on the ground trying to figure out if I was really hurt or not, the training staff from both benches came swarming out. I guess the play looked as bad as it felt. I was a little upset when they told me not to move and they brought out an ambulance onto the field. Six of them rolled me onto a backboard and then taped my head in place. The crowd was dead silent as they loaded me into the ambulance and took me to the hospital.

They did a quick ultrasound on my back and then x-rays. I was telling them that I was fine until back spasms about made me pass out they were so painful. I then got scared that something was really wrong.

Our training staff had my medical records with them. They avoided giving me the muscle relaxants that made me chatty. Personally I think they gave me a horse tranquilizer. I was out before my parents could even check on me.

Saturday October 4

I woke up at five in the morning. I was feeling great. The night nurse came in when I pushed the buzzer.

"How is our star patient doing?" she asked.

"Like I'm about to wet the bed ... is it okay if I take care of that?"

She walked me to the bathroom and kept an eye on me. She said the doctor would be in at six to check on me. All indications were that nothing serious was wrong. It just looked like I had been in a car accident. The only saving grace was my overall physical conditioning.

"Did we win?" I asked.

"You missed a heck of a game. My boy plays for Lakeview and we beat you last night. That Herndon kid came in and had a heck of a game for you guys. At first your team fell apart after you were taken off the field. We scored twice more in the second quarter to go up 21 – 0.

"When Lincoln came out after halftime they were a different team. They fought back in the fourth quarter. If it hadn't been for a missed extra point and field goal, in less than three minutes at the end of the game, we would have lost. The final score was 28 – 27. Your guys took it a little hard. I was actually almost cheering for them by the end. They showed a lot of class and we were lucky to win."

I felt bad for the guys. But nobody said we were going to win them all.

At six o'clock, the doctor came and checked me out. Everything indicated that I had blunt force trauma and had strained my back when I had been almost bent in two the wrong way. Not really, but that was what it felt like. I wasn't allowed to throw or run for a few days. He told me to take my muscle relaxants and pain pills, and to take it easy. I was on board with all of that. I was going to live and they were letting me check out.

I was surprised when Mom, Dad and Teddy Wesleyan showed up at seven. I had thought Teddy had left last night for Lexington. Mom and Dad took all my equipment. The hospital was going to cut everything off until I told them if they did I was getting up and walking out. We compromised on replaceable items like strings to lace up the shoulder pads and the straps.

Mom and Dad were going to say no to my Trip to Kentucky until I told them how much it cost. The flight plus the charity event were not going to be cheap. Plus I managed not to flinch when Mom hugged me. I saw Dad watching. I felt like I had been hit with a baseball bat, twice. My nurse suggested that when I got to Lexington I should get a therapeutic massage. I had to agree that sounded good in theory. Greg had taught me how to do one and they were not always gentle.

By eight-thirty, we were at the airport and I was boarded on Teddy's plane. I had some good meds that allowed me to take a nap during the flight.

Teddy dropped me off at the Nutter Center where I met John Phillips. John was one of the main reasons I was here this weekend, because I wanted to catch up with my friend. He took me into the locker room to change. He gave me some of his Kentucky gear to wear since we were about the same size. He took one look at my back and made a face.

"I thought your momma taught you not to play in traffic."

"I wish I had taken her advice. I plan on kicking my fullback's ass when I get home. He watched as two of them ran around him and tried to kill me," I told him.

"Let me guess, he didn't even warn you."

"Nope. One moment I'm looking for a receiver, since my primary was covered, and the next moment I'm lying on the field trying to decide how bad it was. I was scared at first that it was really bad. I've been hit a lot, but that one stung."

"Have you tried throwing?" John asked.

"NO! I would be crying after the first throw. Is it really okay for your trainer to work on me?" I asked.

"I talked to him and he said to send you over. Let's go meet him and get you fixed up."

He introduced me to Stan. John had to get ready for the game so he left me.

"We're going to check you out completely. I called the hospital when John said you were coming in and had them send me your charts. It looks like you just need time to heal. If it's okay with you I want some of my student trainers to check you out also, so they can learn. Backs are a delicate thing and I want them to feel what I have been describing."

"As long as they don't try to kill me, I'll be okay with it," I told Stan.

He brought in six student trainers. Stan had one of the students write up my chart of injuries. He noted some past bruises and then he got to my back. Stan read them the chart the doctor had sent over and explained to them what it meant. He also told them what meds I was on and what they did for me.