Chapter 33: Alabama Football Camp

Tuesday June 16

Tami and I drove to Lexington Kentucky to visit my friend John Phillips in the hospital. He had torn his Achilles tendon stepping off a curb. We decided to take the scenic route, so we could drive by horse farms in the area. The windows were down and you could hear the distinctive grumble and whine of the Charger as it ate up the miles. I was amazed Tami hadn't gotten a ticket yet, but she seemed to have a sixth sense as to where the police were.

I was about to drop off into a nap when Tami hit me with something out of left field.

"Why haven't you flirted with me?" she asked.

I knew instinctively that this conversation was not going to end well for me.

"Why do you ask?"

It is always better to find out where you stand before you comment.

"We have slept in the same bed for the last two nights, and you haven't even touched me," she hazarded.

"I'll take that as a compliment. I've shown remarkable restraint as a teenage boy," I said hoping this would get me off the hook.

"I don't know, it's just different, because you used to hold me, even if we were not doing anything sexual. I get the feeling you don't even want to touch me."

"I think that comment is a little extreme. I've hugged you on numerous occasions."

"I guess. What I'm getting at is we are spending time together, but we don't seem to be getting back to the way things used to be."

"I honestly don't want to go back to the way things were," I blurted out.

Tami didn't say a word for the next twenty miles. I was trying to figure out how to explain it to her, but stripped down, what I said was the truth. Keeping Tami at arm's length seemed to be my best option. I wanted to keep her as a friend.

"I think we need to sleep together," she announced.

"We did, last night."

"Don't play the 'stupid boy' with me. You know what I mean. I think if we have sex it will make us closer," she said.

"And I will be back to claiming you as mine. Tami that is a recipe for disaster and we both know it."

"I don't know what to do," she admitted. "I just don't feel we are getting to be as close as we used to be. I miss you sharing everything with me and us planning the future together. It used to be us against the world."

Now it was my turn to think. The easy answer was to have a summer fling with her, but it would never work. If I went back to the way things were and added steady sex to it. Simple answer, it was not happening. Losing Tami a second time would absolutely destroy me. I had to stay strong, or this would be an epic catastrophe.

"I'm not the same. We're not the same. It was hard for me to move on, and I find myself a little guarded when I'm around you. Your leaving forced me to change, just to survive. I've become more self-reliant, and I feel more confident. I also don't let my emotions get the better of me.

"Harper is a good example. Before you left, I would have been shattered when she chose another guy over me. The unfortunate reality is I would never have been able handle it as well as I did if you hadn't chosen Trevor and Simon over me."

"David, that's not fair."

"Fair had nothing to do with it. I have always been right here. You're the one who wouldn't accept me, until I was up to your standards," I said and then stopped myself. "Find a place to pull the car over. I need to get out and think before I say things I can never take back."

"No, we need to get this out in the open, or we will never get past it."

"Fine! Our relationship was never a healthy one. You had a need to control me. Looking back, I think that was one of the main reasons I started doing drugs and drinking in middle school."

"I thought it all began because of your breakup with Jan Duke."

"It did. You, Alan, and Jeff all warned me not to go out with her. Then when her former boyfriend came back and stole her, I was hurting. My three best friends' attitude was sorry dude, we told you so. Then when Justin slept with Jan, bragged about it, and dumped her, I had no idea what to do.

"To this day I remember what you told me. You were never meant to be with her. She was out of your league, and just trying to get Justin to be jealous. In that moment, I was convinced I was not good enough. My three best friends were more worried about the I told you so, than giving comfort to their friend. I also knew I wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough to date Jan Duke, my first girlfriend, and I wasn't good enough to date Tami, my best friend."

"But, David, that wasn't what I meant."

"Tami, it makes no difference what you meant. The moment of that mattering is long gone. Everyone asked why I would start hanging out with a bunch of loser drug users. You know what? They weren't a bunch of losers. They had just all been beaten down, and we all clung together, and tried to forget what made us that way. Yeah, there were predators in the group, but we knew what they were, and didn't care. At least they weren't the people we loved turning their backs on us."

"But I didn't turn my back on you. Not until you wouldn't listen to me anymore!"

"Exactly! The moment I would no longer bend my knee to the almighty Tami that was the moment you turned your back on me. Look, I know I was an ass and I forced the issue. What you have to realize is that I knew that the moment you no longer felt you could control me, you were gone. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. It was just one more excuse I had to walk away from my best friends. In a weird way it made sense to me.

"Tami, don't get mad. I'm telling you all this for a reason. Uncle John made me face up to what I did and why. The time I spent with him on the farm was not pleasant. He made me realize that the Jan and Justin thing was just between them. I got caught as the unwitting foil used to get him back. I also came to understand that what was said hurt, but was not done to be malicious.

"When I came home after the summer at my uncle's farm, I thought we were building our friendship again. The thing that kept coming up for me, was you felt I wasn't good enough, and had to change to be what you wanted."

"But I meant we weren't ready for more, yet. I thought you understood."

"I understood fine. I agreed, but you added the condition that I wasn't good enough."

"I was trying to push you to grow up," she said.

"Exactly! I needed to grow up. There was never a we in there. I was the one who had to change. I was the one who was inferior. You can only hear it so many times, before you begin to believe it. Then when you came to me, and told me you had chosen Trevor over me, I about lost it."

"David, it was never me choosing him over you," she said, trying to reason with me.

"Bullshit! I offered to commit fully to you. I made it clear I wanted you, and only you. I loved you so much I couldn't imagine sharing you with another man. We were going to make a life together. I had dreamed of that all my life. It was blatantly obvious to everyone about how I felt! It nearly broke Eve and me up. I was willing to give everything up to be with you."

"But I needed life experience, too," she defended herself.

"Congratulations, you got it. Now you're complaining I'm not close to you. Did you ever think about what would happen to me if you abandoned me? I was left to deal with the hurt and rejection, on top of being left by all my closest friends who all went off to college. How did you think it would shape me? Did you think I might try and protect myself? Why do you think it was so easy for me to lose Harper? Some might say I'm growing up. I think I've lost my innocence. People will hurt you if you give them an opportunity.

"Peggy showed me the blueprint to surviving: just date. You know what a crush I've always had on her? When she left me for Mitch, I was fine. Not happy, but fine," I said, running out of steam.

"I never realized I messed your life up so much," Tami said.

"Actually, I'm pretty good with it, now. What high school romance ever really lasts? I was just being naive to think love at our age meant forever. It was a lesson I needed to learn."

I don't know about Tami, but I felt better after getting all that off my chest.

Angie had texted me John's hospital room number. Tami and I took the elevator, and as we got off, I recognized John's sister, Alice, in the waiting room. She was talking to a short guy with glasses. I snuck up behind her, and wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck.

"Hey, sexy. How's your brother doing?" I asked as I breathed into her ear.

Mr. Glasses looked like he was going to have a stroke. It was probably good we were in a hospital. Alice just smiled at my antics.

"David, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Donnie," she said as introduction.

I tickled her, and she finally squirmed away.

"David is my one of my brother's friends who knows better," Alice said firmly.

I don't think Mr. Glasses, aka Donnie, liked me much. Alice definitely wanted to get to know Tami. Tami remembered me talking about Alice. They left Donnie and me alone. It was their own fault.

"How do you know Alice?" Donnie started his interrogation.

"Through her brother, I met her when I was offered a football scholarship to the University of Kentucky."

"So you're a dumb jock."

"Who gets straight 'A's and is about to stuff your head in a toilet, so you'll know how to deal with me better," I suggested with a smile.

"Big talk, I can handle myself," said Donnie, acting like he wanted to fight me.

I raised my eyebrows and flexed. He was maybe 5'8" and weighed all of 140 lbs. I was 6'4" 210 lbs. About the only thing I saw him doing was hitting me in the nuts. I would be on guard for that. I think he decided he was brain damaged because he pushed me.

"What's your problem? You worried I'm here to poach your girlfriend?" I asked.

"Fuck you, asshole," he said, as he took a swing.

He telegraphed it so badly I just snatched it out of the air, and grabbed his thumb. Cassidy had done this to me on more than one occasion and I begged her to stop. I knew Donnie had to be in pain. I admit he irritated me. I probably was being a bully when I made him kiss my shoes. At least that was what Alice and Tami told me. He was much more polite after that. I finally got in to see John, with his mom as my escort.

"When I heard, I was worried you wouldn't be able to carry my bags," I said as I walked in.

"Fuck you, too, Dawson," John shot back, and then saw his mom.

"John," she warned him.

"I think it must be how people greet me here. It must be a term of endearment, because I know they love me."

"What did you do to get my daughter so riled up?" John's mom asked.

"I had a talk with her boyfriend. Is there something wrong with him? Is he a Special Needs student?" I asked.

"Oh, hell, get Alice in here. David is on a roll, and I think she needs to hear what a, a, great guy she's dating," John begged.

Their mom must not have liked him either, because she went and got her.

"Donnie said you threatened him, and he was just defending my honor," Alice started out.

"I don't remember threatening him. I do remember offering to stuff his head in a toilet after he called me a dumb jock."

"Oh, go get him! You can use my bathroom," John suggested.

"John!" Alice complained, and then turned to her mom. "Make him stop picking on Donnie."

I gave her a hug.

"How have you been?" I asked her.

This time she hugged me back.

"Good. How is football going? Are you planning on coming to Kentucky to torment my brother?"

"Maybe, but I got another offer over the weekend, and some other big news."

"Should I go get Dad, so he can be jealous, too?" she asked.

"Leave your dad alone. Someday he will need to give you away at our wedding, and I need him to pay for everything."

"Thank you, I needed hope she wouldn't end up with the munchkin," John said, referring to Alice's poor choice in boyfriends.

"Who was the offer from?" Alice asked.

"The Ohio State University. I'm going to Alabama next week."

"YES!" John said with a fist pump.

"What was your other news?" Alice asked.

"I made it to the finals of the Elite 11. That's Nike's way of identifying the eleven best quarterbacks in the nation."

"But you're only going to be a junior," John said.

"Yep, I'm the first junior to be invited," I said and then turned to conversation to John. "How bad is it?"

"It could take four to six months of rehab, that's after I get the walking cast off. I'll lose the season," he said as the mood in the room changed.

"Since you were redshirted your freshman year, can you get a medical redshirt?" I asked.

"The NCAA rules say you have five years to complete four. So this coming season I would have been considered a redshirt freshman instead of being a sophomore," John explained.

"The NCAA can waive the five-year rule, and grant a sixth year, providing both are medical redshirts. In John's case, his freshman redshirt year was a choice he and the coaching staff made, and was not related to him being injured. He won't be able to petition for a sixth year," Alice said.

They kicked us out of John's room, but he was happy I made the effort to come see him. I knew he would work hard and get back to playing.

We had a quick lunch with the Phillips family, and Donnie. I had a talk with Alice before we left and she assured me she knew what she was doing. I felt bad for her parents because you could tell they were just grinning and bearing it. I predicted he wouldn't be around for long.

On the trip back, it was Tami's turn. Why did I not see this coming? I would have ridden home on a bus.

"First of all I want to thank you for being honest with me, and not holding back. Some of the things I heard were hard for me," Tami started.

The not holding back part had me worried.

"Can we just hit the reset button, and act like what I said this morning never happened. I distinctly remember saying if I continued, I would say some things which I would never be able to take back," I tried.

"First I want to talk about what happened in middle school. It seems you accused your friends of not being there for you when you dated Jan Duke and she dumped you. Let me refresh your memory. Do you remember a short chubby nerd with a case of acne, and the cheerleader he miraculously snagged to be his girlfriend. If I remember correctly, he had also gotten a perm, and his hair looked like Alan's. Do I need to get out pictures to remind you?" she asked.

Unlike the other nerds, I could talk to pretty older girls. Crud! If I remembered correctly, Jan had come up to me at lunch and told me I was taking her to a party.

"Are you getting the picture, David? If it would help, it would be like me dating Mike, when we were in middle school. He was the stud, and I was the tomboy who hung out with the three geeks. If I had suddenly shown up with Mike on my arm, wouldn't you all figure I had drugged him or had blackmail pictures?"

That brought a smile to my face.

"I seem to remember said nerd dancing around at Alan's house telling us to, and let me quote you here, to suck it because we were all jealous you bagged a babe," Tami said using air quotes as she drove.

I pointed at the oncoming traffic.

"We all warned you something was up. You knew it, too, and you acted like a complete jerk when she broke up with you. How sympathetic do you think we were when you rubbed it in our face, and acted like a complete baby when what we all warned you about happened?" she asked.

"Hmm," was my brilliant response.

"Yeah, hmm. Another thing I'm not buying is your drug use starting after you broke up with Jan. Tell me the truth. Were you doing drugs at the parties Jan took you to?"

I blushed because I knew she was right. I had gotten high the first time Jan and I went to a party. She handed me a joint. What was I supposed to do? I was in 8th grade living every nerd's dream of dating the cheerleader. She and her friends wanted to go hang out with the stoners at lunch and get high, too. I remembered Tami calling me on it. I thought taking a breath mint would help. I forgot my clothes reeked of marijuana. My excuse was I was high. For some strange reason, that just made her madder.

"Look, David, you were right when you said what was in the past is in the past. I'm not going to point out every little thing you did that caused me to finally lose it, and tell you I never wanted to see you again. We've come a long way since then.

"There are two things we need to get clear between us. The first is I never chose Trevor over you. Trevor and I were more friends than anything else. We tried to go out, and we just knew we made better friends. During the summer internship, we worked with each other eight hours a day and hung out after work. He was nice, and safe, and I thought he would make the ideal practice boyfriend. The guy you date to get your feet wet, and you feel safe doing things with. He was never a threat to you.

"When you made your grand gesture and offered to date me, I thought you were kidding."

"Bullshit! Remember, I was there. You knew I was dead serious," I said.

"Okay, maybe you were, but we had talked about us every which way I could think of. You were my guy. Like you said, we were going to grow old together and spoil our grand kids. I never doubted it until I saw your reaction to me telling you I was going to go from being a friend with Trevor to start dating him."

"But you said you had taken your relationship to the next level. You slept with him," I said with some heat behind my words.

"This is where I am going to save our relationship, and not start pointing fingers. We both failed to communicate. I didn't know you thought that was what I meant. You didn't exactly give me a chance to explain. I went about trying to talk to you in the wrong way. I want you to listen to me carefully. We both have to grow the heck up, and agree that we handled the situation appallingly. You circled the wagons, and I'd had enough.

"After I left for the UK, I missed you so much it hurt. I was feeling the loss, just like you were. Simon caught me unprepared. I think he sensed I was vulnerable. Looking back, he was a mistake. I think he was a mistake I needed to remind me of what I had messed up," she said, and then I saw her chin quiver.

I thought back to our conversation earlier today. I had needed to say it. Those were my honest feelings at the time. I don't think listening to Tami before I had a chance to get it all out would have had the same impact as it had now. I was finally ready to listen, and more importantly talk.

For the next hour we had an honest open discussion. It was what was needed to bridge the friendship gap we had been experiencing. We both agreed the separation was needed. I finally felt we were equals, something that had been missing for years.

Then she hit me with something else.

"I am sick and tired of watching you walk around like people should look up to you or owe you something, just because you have accomplished a few things. You see how people treat Adrienne, and you think you should be treated the same way. Your mama raised you better than that.

"If you don't get your head on straight, it is going to become a problem, and your true friends are going to drop you. Me included."

"I thought it was just one of the perks of fame," I said trying to make a joke of it.

"Let me give you an example. You go to Monical's and there is a line. The manager sees you and invites you in. If you were the old David, what would you think of the new David?"

"That he was pretty cool," I said weakly.

"What if it was the tenth time you saw it happen, and you had to wait longer to get in?"

I didn't want to answer that.

"Kendal told me what you did to the poor receptionist at Hill Advertising. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"I did feel bad about that. What should I do?"

"You carry your own bags, you wait your turn, you hold the door for a lady, you are polite to people, and listen to them. I expect you to sign every autograph that is asked of you, within reason. You're a bright guy. Your parents raised you right. You know what you should do.

"The other thing is you have to stop bragging about what you have been doing. I know you are excited about going to Elite 11 camp. When you talk to the team, make sure they know they helped you get there. You need to be conscious of we and us, not I. It's not just football. It is modeling and the movie. Quit pulling out the Adrienne video, or the latest pictures. You were never that guy, before. I don't think you want fake friends. I think you want friends who know the true you.

"One last thing," she began and I groaned.

"I guess I deserved this," I complained.

"It is a good thing I love you. The whole Cora fiasco should be a wake-up call for you. I think you completely missed the point. You do not mix sex and work. Devin made a complete fool of himself. You my friend, have no room to talk. You spent time with both Sandy and Kara while we were in New Orleans. You thought him going after your girlfriend was terrible. How happy would he be if he knew you were sleeping with his sister? Didn't you tell me that he warned you off of his sister in the past?"

"Yeah, in Chicago when I first met them."

"Now think of it in a business setting. Two employees on a road trip hook up. It happens, but is never a good idea. Kara might be a bad example, because you two have a history together. What would have happened if you slept with the twins and then Adrienne fired them the next day?"

"Oh, shit!"

"Oh shit, is right," Tami said and then smiled. "You bitched about me running your life. Do you think having someone around who can tell you things like I just did might be helpful?"

I didn't even respond. She worked me into a corner on that one, and she knew it.

Wednesday June 24

Tami had finally decided she didn't need to be around me 24/7, so I was going to the University of Alabama without her. I would meet up with Bo Harrington, so I could get one-on-one training before the camp. He would come back with me after camp to help get me ready for Elite 11.

Traveling to Tuscaloosa, Alabama by air was not easy. Their local airport had not had commercial service since 1997. The sports teams had to charter flights in and out. The closest I could find was Birmingham, which was a little over an hour's drive away. Luckily, Bo was arriving about the same time I was, so I was able to arrange a ride with him. I had collected my bags, and was relaxing when I got the text saying Bo had arrived. I met him at the car rental counter.

We finally escaped the Birmingham traffic and could talk.

"I've been doing some research on what you can expect, when you get to the Elite 11 Camp. The day you check-in it will be around five pm. Then they are going to take you out, and challenge you physically. Last year they had a group who works with returning vets organize things. From what I saw you would be able to handle the physical side without too much trouble," Bo said.

"What kinds of things did they do?"

"They started out with a run where you had to wear a fifty pound backpack. They then simulated people being injured, and you had to work as a team to carry them the rest of the race. They were looking to see who the leaders were. The campers then had a run, where you carried an American Flag. Nothing more than running occurred, but they did keep track of who finished first. Remember, everything counts at this camp. The coaches are not looking for the best athlete, per se, but if you're not one of the best you won't make the final eleven."

"They talked a lot about leadership, and owning the moment at the camp in Ohio," I said.

"Big time universities and pro teams want good citizens—players who are good role models. But more importantly, they want role models who can lead a team."

"What else did they do the first day?"

"The next activity had them build a sandbag structure. Teams of six were made, and one guy was put in charge. The teams were given two minutes to see how a sample structure was made. The smart teams took a moment and worked out a plan. There was a pile of sand, some empty bags and two shovels at the bottom of a hill. You had to fill up the sandbags, carry them about a hundred yards, and then construct the structure. The smart teams rotated jobs so that everyone was fresh. The teams who didn't plan were ahead early, but their bag runners were fading at the end and they lost.

"The next task was to take an inflatable boat and put in the water, and then travel around a buoy. Some of the guys either didn't know how to swim, or were weak swimmers," Bo said.

"Why didn't they put them in the boat, and just use the paddles?"

"There weren't any paddles. Part of the purpose of the exercise was to put everyone in a situation where they were uncomfortable. You also have to picture it was after ten at night, so it was dark. It was about seeing if you could quiet your mind and work through your fears.

"After the boat exercise they had to run sprints. The campers didn't get back to the dorms until two in the morning. Remember, that is like four in the morning for you, with the time change. They were scheduled to have breakfast from six to eight the next morning and be on the bus by eight-thirty. I would recommend you fly in on the fourth and make yourself stay up. Then get as much rest as you can on the fifth. This will give you an advantage. Most of the guys will travel most of the day on Sunday. The east coast guys will lose three hours, traveling. They will be tired by the end of the first day and then have to get up the next morning with little sleep. It will hurt them the following day, also. I want you as prepared as I can, because you are not getting any breaks."

We spent the rest of the trip talking about what had happened last year at Elite 11. The alumni from the competition were impressive. A few of them were asked back to give short talks. Guys like Johnny Manziel. Bo related how star struck some of the guys were. He cautioned me to remain focused on what I was supposed to be doing, because a couple of the guys snuck off to talk to the stars. Coach Trent chewed them out. As the only non-senior, I had enough going against me.

When we hit the city limits of Tuscaloosa, we switched to plans for the Alabama football camp. The goal was to get an offer. I already knew some of the quarterbacks who were coming. Flee Johnson, who I met at the Ohio State camp, and was also an Elite 11 finalist, was coming. As was Roland Thibodaux, the #5 rated quarterback, also an Elite 11 finalist. Tim Rogers, the MVP from the Elite 11 camp in Columbus, and the automatic winner of a golden ticket, would also be there.

I shared with Bo how Tim had the best footwork I had ever seen. He said we would work on mine before the Elite 11 camp.

After I got signed in I saw Flee, Roland, and Tim talking to each other.

"Mr. Thibodaux! How did you get past the border, and into the great state of Alabama? I didn't think they allowed your kind in," I said loud enough to get several of the camper's attention.

"Hush now, boy, or some of these 'Bama lads will get riled," he said, in his best Cajun accent. "Now you can pick on Flee. He brought our favorite stripper with him."

Flee shook his head. I figured that joke had gone far enough. But I had other things to tease him about.

"You know that beautiful woman only has eyes for our Flee. She likes them small," I said as I wiggled my pinky.

"Fuck you, Dawson!" was his snappy comeback.

Tim looked like he was ready to crawl into a hole, somewhere.

"Don't worry, Cadillac, we'll find things to tease you about before camp is over," I said.

"I'm not Cadillac," Tim sputtered.

"I like your new nickname," Roland said with a big grin.

Poor Tim knew if he complained too much, it would stick. As far as nicknames went, I thought it was a good one.

"How y'all doing?" came a sexy southern voice.

Roland, Tim, and I all about got whiplash turning to see if the voice fit. Oh, my! She had long blonde curly hair, and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I almost chuckled when I saw her in a red polo shirt that was unbuttoned as far as it would go. What made me want to chuckle was she wore a pearl necklace. It was hard to not notice she filled out her polo shirt quite nicely. She was wearing a name tag that said Ashley.

Roland stepped between Tim and me. I thought the elbow was not necessary.

"Bonjour, Ashley," he said slipping back into his Cajun French accent.

I was impressed when he kissed her hand. I saw Ashley liked it by how much she blushed, and giggled. Poor Roland was going to meet with a nasty accident before the day was out.