Chapter 31

Brindy's turn:

Months. Months have passed since that horrible day when I lost my Pat. I can't replace her. We all – me, Dave, Carlita – lost a lot with Pat's passing.

I am family, though. I don't know if there's a way we can make it any more than what we have in our hearts, but I have a marriage with Dave and Carlita. They have the piece of paper from Texas for theirs. I'm the add-on, and they both tell me that the paper would add nothing.

I have money. Pat's house sold fast and for a good price. Her life insurance – double indemnity for accidental death – was assigned to me. She was taking good care of me. Practical Pat. Taking care of business. Will? Me. Insurance? Me. I'm set up pretty well, not that it's any sort of compensation for my Pat, but I fit in with my Lita and Dave. The money simply means that I'm not hanging with them because of my financial situation.

I'm into them. That's giggle-worthy. Dave's into me, around six inches, very often. With Carlita it's fingers and tongue. I guess I'm bisexual. Thought I was more lesbian when it was Pat, but when she revealed secrets about her and her brother, we both started talking about it. She missed him. Wanted him. I saw her eyes when she spoke of him. I knew there was still something there. We started talking about 'what if' scenarios.

"What if we want a baby?" It was her question. I guess I'm the one who brought up the idea of getting a sperm sample from Dave. We talked more. Had a plan. Were gonna get Dave over and get him drunk and ... Then we scratched that one. We'd just approach him and be direct about it. Dave would marry me and then he could have both of us. And one or both of us would get pregnant with Dave's baby.

That was the plan. Sort of had to wait until I turned eighteen so I could move in with Pat.

All those plans sort of went away when he showed up with Carlita, big brown eyes, lithe figure, that silly short black hair, English with a foreign lilt and a brain that I wasn't ready for. And Dave fell for her.

They got married. I was there watching.

Over the summer Carlita often hung out with me and Pat when Dave was at work.

Then there was the week that Pat had a conference in Houston and Dave was out of town. I spent the nights with Carlita at her house. She's so innocent in so many ways, but she's also inquisitive and sexy. We ended up in the shower together.

Pat has this thing about pubic hair. I never thought of having a shaved pussy as being a conversation starter. After all, I just don't walk up to somebody and say 'Hi, I'm Brindy and I shave my pussy.' First, I am NOT that forward. Second, Pat shaved it for me.

Lita was fascinated. I shaved hers. Icebreaker.

Middle of the night, we're sleeping in the same bed, both nude. I wake up in the middle of the night. Bad dreams. Lita goes into her 'caring' mode.

More talk about the relationship between me and Pat. I let the cat out of the bag about Pat and Dave.

"That explains much," Carlita said. "He is very gentle, but when he speaks Pat's name ... I think he was affected when he found out about you and Pat. I thought it was because you were female. Now I think it is because Pat has another in her life."

We made love. I'm not a slut. I really am not. Lita is the second woman I have made love with and there's a connection between us, loving brother and sister who have loved each other.

I have a sister. We've made love. Pat has a brother. They've made love. Somehow there's a level of rightness to it, at least that's what I tell myself.

I told Pat, of course.

This did not change the way that Carlita and I interacted in public. In private? Oh, a time or two...

And when Dave's out of town, Carlita's over at our house more often than not.

I know it sounds sexist when I say it, but a bunch of girls can get silly talking late at night. Pat and I were sitting on the sofa, being very close, kind of intimate. Carlita squeezed onto the sofa with us, watching some movie.

Over the next couple of weeks we got more open in front of her, talking about us and her and Dave. It was one of Dave's weeks when he was on the road for two nights that she slid into bed with us. Scared. Felt guilty the next day.

"You and I have something in common, Carlita," Pat told her, trying to console her.

"What is that?"

"Dave."

"He is your brother. My husband."

"Lita," Pat said. "Dave and I..."

Carlita's face. "Brindy told me."

Pat told the story. I'd already heard it, naturally. "We needed ... We had each other..."

"You could not be married, but you love him..."

Did I say that Carlita is very perceptive?

"I have cheated..."

"No, Lita. We are friends..."

"If Dave ... with a friend..." Lita started.

"Dave would not. Nor would you. Me and you and Brindy ... sisters. Simply sisters."

I honestly didn't think that Carlita would buy it. She has a sense of morality.

I was wrong. The second night, the three of us were in bed. It was the first time that Carlita and Pat made love. Actually, it was the three of us.

After that, Carlita ... I expected her to have remorse and avoid us. Wrong again, Brindy. Carlita stuck to Dave when he was home like she was an extra appendage. When he left, though, if she didn't have Gary's and Carlie's kids staying with her, Carlita was with us, and having her in bed was just as natural and comfortable as we could dream.

We told her about Pat's plan.

"I am not going to ... Dave and I talked. After I am out of college, then we may have a baby. I want us to have a baby. You and Pat," she said, "Yes, Dave's sperm would be almost like you getting pregnant by Pat."

"Would Dave do that?"

"There are many ways..." Lita said. "The easiest ... If I am enjoying making love with you and Pat, then why would I object if Dave was to..."

That led to that last boat trip with Carlita and Dave and me and Pat.

I was scared. My own sexual experience with men. At sixteen I thought I was in love and gave myself to a boy who was out for something that had little to do with love. He hurt me the first time. All the other times, I tried to think I was enjoying it but I found out that I was dry and he was self-centered and artless, and then came the time that he and a buddy ... cheap wine, maybe with some enhancement ... I had a hairy dick forced into my mouth while another was forced into my pussy ... it was horrible.

Then another boy. And another ... It wasn't better. Wasn't even much different.

I turned to Pat. Pat provided somebody to talk with, made me feel something that I didn't get at home with Mom and that beast she was attached to. Pat ... soft talk one evening, me crying ... she was drinking a glass of wine. I took a sip, then a gulp ... two glasses later for each of us, I was being held, she was close, warm ... the kiss seemed natural and loving and something that I dreamed a kiss could be.

We shared each other.

I know she told Dave a little lie when she said that she and I had not been physical until I was eighteen.

I wouldn't let her feel remorse about a mutual seduction.

Nobody knew we were an item until I turned eighteen and moved in with her.

Now there are four of us on the boat and poor Dave has no idea that three of us are planning on using him.

I was the scared one. It was the first time I really WANTED to make love to a man. I think that those points are key. "I wanted." "Make LOVE." I have two women that I love telling me that Dave is who I need.

I'm really not that good of a lesbian. Don't get me wrong ... On every level, Pat has lifted me. She showed me that sex was something to be shared and relished and given and taken. My first lesbian contact. Carlita was my second.

I don't know how many boys, exactly. None of them was any good. Pat and Carlita. Good.

That day on the water ... Dave was floating on his back when Pat and I swam around the stern of the boat. Carlita had him in her mouth. Both of them obviously enjoyed it because when Pat swam up beside him, Lita released him from her mouth and smiled at me.

Pat took him, obviously relishing...

By the end of the day I had actually MADE LOVE to a man. Had a man relish me. I know. I saw his eyes. Carlita and Pat were right. Dave's eyes do not lie. He called me 'Brindy love'.

That night, Carlita had a meltdown. I think that she had second and third and fourteenth thoughts about having a group marriage.

The next day was the tragedy. I lost my Pat. We ALL lost our Pat.

I thought that since Lita had the meltdown, I was on my own.

Carlita said 'no'. Says I am her sister and I stay with my family. She and Dave are my family. I don't know how I would have survived without them. Losing Pat was the darkest of dark times. Alone, I might not have had the will to live.

They never let me think I was alone in the world. It was like I was supposed to love Carlita and I was supposed to love Dave and I was supposed to receive their love in return.

Carlita saw to it that I made love with Dave the morning after the tragedy. I am not sure, never will be, but I think that is when we three decided to be married together.

Carlita and I actually formalized it on bended knee. I love Carlita's sense of propriety.

Carlita calls the days that followed The Great Sadness. I didn't know what to do ... what else I was supposed to do. I tried staying occupied, but when I slowed down, I realized that I wasn't going end up on the sofa with my head in Pat's lap, her fingers stroking through my hair. That's what got me started with her. She was so gentle, her actions transmitted an air of love and caring. I was destined to fall.

During The Great Sadness I spent days with Carlita and evenings with her and Dave. They helped me. I think I helped them, especially Dave.

And we slowly, sometimes awkwardly, became – I want to say a couple, but there's three of us – a solid unit.

There have been awkward moments. One thing ... Carlita and I have plenty of time for just the two of us. We're trying to figure out the best way for us to get Dave all alone with each of us in turn. The three of us, well, we just sort of rotate through all the positions. With Dave ... he's the center of attention. That dick ... I want it inside me. So does Carlita. I wish he had two.

Lita and I take turns with that. Three of us. He's so sexy when Lita is riding him. I can touch and kiss and bite both of them, or I can straddle his face. I have to be careful doing that, though. I lose control. I may smother him. Or Lita will.

Still, there's only one Tab A for Slots B and C. We tried 'Plastic Dave', Pat's dildo. She's the one that named it 'Dave'. Sorry. Doesn't substitute for either me or Carlita. I prefer fingers. Tongue. And naturally, Dave.

I talked with my sister about it.

"It does not mean that I do not love you," Carlita said. "I do. I love you just like we are now. (Naked housework is a very neat and erotic exercise) I love you with Dave and me together. But what you said..."

"That I want some time with just me and him..."

"I want that, too sometimes."

"How do we do it?" I asked. "You know I can't ... it would be uncomfortable to be in another room. I want to participate."

She giggled. She makes me giggle as well. "Yes. You'd think that you and Dave are having a private moment and then he jumps because I have my fingers around his balls or my lips down there lapping up the juice..." She smiled. "Right?"

"I've done that."

Giggle. "And it's spectacular. We do stuff like that and we OWN Dave." Her dark eyes flashed. "But ... Maybe tomorrow when Dave gets home, YOU keep him and I go do the grocery shopping, and the next time it's MY turn and you go get the oil changed. Maybe once a week for each of us?"