Chapter 25

Carlita's turn:

My Dave is devastated. My Brindy is devastated. I am devastated. In an instant, our lives changed since we were taking Brindy home with us, we invited Carlie and Gary home with us.

"Maybe later," Carlie said. "We need to get the kids."

The hospital rolled Brindy out to our car in a wheelchair. I noticed that she was sore as she stood and slid into the back seat. I sat beside her, holding her in my arms as she cried softly.

I am used to our car being a place of happiness. It is not happy today. I do not know what to say to Brindy or Dave. I am sad. I know their connection to Pat was more than mine. They are likely very much more sad.

This is new to me. I am expected to be mature and what I really want to do is cry and hold onto people who love me, but they are sad like me.

I cannot help it. Pat was good to me, a friend and more, and she is Dave's sister and Brindy's love. We help Brindy from the car to the house. She is walking like she has some pains. And I start crying and I can't help it. We're all sitting on the sofa in a big pile, sobbing.

Dave is stroking my head like I'm a puppy. I push closer against him and then I'm in the middle with Brindy on one side and Dave on the other. I climb onto Dave's lap and Brindy slides over, very close to Dave, still crying. She moves slowly. She is sore from the wreck.

Dave's kiss on my cheek helps both me and him, but Brindy ... I take his hand gently and move it to touch Brindy. Very quietly I whisper in his ear, "Dave, she needs you now, also."

She turns wet eyes to him. "Please, Dave. Please mean it."

Dave's eyes meet mine. He raises an eyebrow. Dave and I – we do not have to speak to communicate. I nod.

"Always, Brindy. Me and Carlita and you. Always."

"I LOVED Pat," she sobbed. "She's..." sob "Gooooone..."

"It's okay to cry, baby," Dave said to her. When he finished talking, I put my mouth on his. This guy that I love so much ... my heart is big. For him. For Brindy who is wetting my shirt with her tears. I pull away from his kiss and bury my face in his neck.

Carlita must understand love. It is not easy. I know the ways ... One man, one woman. I could easily do that, but I have let Brindy into our lives. It would have been easy to watch if Brindy made a life with Pat. I would have been happy to see them together, loving and living.

And in one bad afternoon, Pat is gone. I hope that the prayers of this little Guatemalan orphan are counted in her favor. She truly did good in her life.

And now here is Brindy that I let into the life of me and Dave and I am asking my heart what I am supposed to do with Brindy.

I am supposed to be sister to Brindy. I am supposed to be friend to Brindy. Those are easy answers. The more difficult answer is what I wish Dave to be to Brindy. Even as HIS tears wet my hair, I love my Dave and I know that he has a big heart also.

I wonder what Brindy needs. I tug her gently and slide sideways off Dave's lap, tugging Brindy into my place. Dave looks at me with a question in his eyes. I smile a little and nod.

He does that thing to Brindy that makes me feel so loved – he puts little kisses on the top of her head. I do not know how it will affect Brindy. It makes Carlita feel loved and cared for. I watch.

It does affect Brindy. She presses into him. I touch her, rubbing her back, so she knows that I approve of this. I also touch my Dave. He needs to know...

Dave's phone rings. I lean next to his ear so I can hear.

"Hey, Gary..."

"Hey, brother ... Carlie's got food. I'd sure like for you and Carlita..."

"And Brindy," Dave said.

"Yes. And Brindy. Y'all come over." I heard his voice waver. "Dammit. This ain't easy."

"We'll be there in a bit. We sort of need to talk about things. I never planned on this, brother," Dave said.

"Nobody ever does. But it's us, you know ... all the family we have."

"Carlita and Brindy need to get in on this. Brindy's..."

"I know," Gary said. "Pat told me."

"Then Brindy gets a say on things..."

"You're right..."

"We'll be there in a bit," Dave said, then he ended the call.

"I don't want to be trouble," Brindy said.

"You're not trouble, you're family, Brin," Dave said.

That's another reason that I love Dave.

Brindy twisted, pushing Dave's legs apart. I did not know what she was doing, but she slid one leg between his. "You get the other leg, Lita."

I did that. Very big hug. It is like Dave is holding twins. One arm for Dave. One arm for Brindy. She has her head on Dave's chest. She is looking into my eyes. I touch her hair, just gently, because she probably needs comfort now more than ever in her life.

"Brindy," I say, "Let's get you showered, then we go to Gary and Carlie's."

She nods to me. "Dave, take my keys. In my closet, there are some jeans and my blue blouse. Panties and a bra in the dresser. My stuff is in the left set of drawers."

"Okay. I can do that," Dave says. Brindy and I slide off him. Brindy is moving slowly. I know she is hurting. Dave kisses me, sees my eyes, then kisses Brindy before he leaves.

I suppose that at another time, helping Brindy get undressed would be strange, but Brindy and I, we have been intimate. I know she is sore now, though. Very gently I help her out of her clothes, then I think that she may have trouble showering, washing herself if she is sore, so I undress myself as well.

Her eyes ... I can see and I understand. I hold her against me, being careful, touching her hair, comforting her. She puts her face at my neck. Shakes. A crying.

"It's just not right, Lita," she sobs. "I had Pat. Pat had me. Now ... nobody."

"Brindy, that is wrong. I am not a substitute for Pat. Dave is not a substitute for Pat, but you have us."

Sobs, as I held her in my arms. Brindy needs much. I finally get away to start the shower. We both get in together. I am very gentle as I wash her. I know it is supposed to be just washing – clinical – but it is Brindy and she is soft and ... but no.

I wash myself quickly and we get out. I dry her, then myself. Her hair is wet. I start to dry it for her. Dave knocks on the bathroom door.

"Dave," Brindy says, "this is YOUR house. Come in."

That is all right. Dave has seen us both naked before, and this is not about sex right now.

"Here," I say, handing him the hair dryer. "Dry Brindy's hair."

Mine is still short. A good toweling gets me almost dry. Dave is brushing and drying Brindy. As I walk past him to get dressed, I see a bulge in his pants. I give it a squeeze and smile at him. Dave is a man. He is MY man, and I am very happy to know that he gets aroused when he sees me naked. Now he sees me and Brindy, and I know that Brindy excites him, too.

I come back into the bathroom as he is finishing her hair.

"There you go, Brin," he says.

"Thank you, Dave. Help me stand up. I seem like I'm getting more sore with every passing minute."

"That's normal, Brin," Dave said. "I've been through that myself. We'll pick up your prescriptions on the way to Gary and Carlie's. You can take one then."

Dave and I both helped Brindy dress. I helped her walk out to the car. She started to get in the back seat.

"No," I said. "The front seat will be more comfortable."

"But..."

"No, I am serious. Dave?"

"She's right, Brin. Front seat."

We took off, stopped at the pharmacy. Dave took her driver's license and returned with her prescription and a bottle of water. "Take one," he said, handing her a pain pill. "It'll help."

"Dave," Brindy said, "What am I going to do? I have no family that counts. No place to go."

"Did you not listen to Carlita?" Dave asked.

"Carlita is too good, Dave."

"Carlita is Carlita. Light of my soul, heart of my heart. What she says is how I feel, Brindy. We are going to talk about Pat's insurance and Pat's house and ... You will have a place."

"I can't live there, Dave. Just can't."

"I would hope not." Dave glanced back at me. I nodded. "I would hope you stay with me and Carlita."

"Why, Dave?"

"Because we love you."

"But..."

"We LOVE you," I said. "We ... if you left, we would hurt, Brindy."

Dave reached across the center console and touched her arm. She broke into tears.

I cried again. No Pat. From the day Dave brought me home, there was Pat, trying to take care of me, then being my friend and my sister. She was part of my world and now she's gone from us.

Gary was only slightly better.

We made a half-hearted run on the food for dinner.

The conversation was about practical things. Funeral. No open casket, something Americans do that I do not understand. No burial. Pat's wishes asked for cremation. A memorial stone in the family cemetery plot in the oldest cemetery in the city, that will be Pat's physical memorial. She lives on in our hearts.

Tomorrow we go to the family attorney and look at Pat's will. Her insurance. The house. Gary posed the question as to whether or not Brindy's name was included on official documents.

"I don't know," Brindy said. "We never talked about it. People her age don't..." And Brindy started crying again. I slid next to her to hold her.

"I'm sorry," Gary said.

"No, it's okay, Gary," Brindy sobbed, trying to control herself. Carlie sat on the other side of Brindy, comforting her. "Pat's wishes ... It's hard to talk about Pat's wishes. I mean, we were LIVING. Nobody our age thinks about THIS..." More sobs.

"Brindy, we'll make sure you're taken care of. What Pat had ... If she had a husband, he would be heir. She had you ... We know. We intend to honor that."

"I'm sorry, Gary..."

"Nothing to be sorry about, Brindy. Pat is Pat. Our sister. Never said we agreed with everything she did, but we still love her and it would be a dishonor if we did not consider you."

The trip home remained somber. Poor Brindy. Lost the one closest to her. Life turned upside down. And she is physically hurting, as well.

We stopped at Pat's house. Brindy needed things for the night. As you can imagine, we walked into the house and the emotions flooded both of us. The house was as it was left this morning when two people went off with full expectation of returning in the afternoon.

I helped Brindy pack a few things for the night.

Back at our house bedtime posed a question. Brindy started to prepare the bed in the room that was supposed to be mine when I first came home with Dave.

"No, Brindy," I said. "We sleep in here."

"That's for you and Dave."

"And Brindy."