Chapter 16

Still Carlita's Turn:

There is only one thing left to dream – that is that Dave would have much money so he did not have to leave me in the morning to go to work. I have seen American TV, so I know that when the husband leaves for work, his wife is at the door to kiss him.

I do that. I did not see on TV where the wife puts her hand on the front of her husband's pants and touches him because he likes the feeling as much as she does.

I am a little sad when I watch his truck go up the street. I close the door and turn the lock and then turn to look at my house. My home. What to do today? I do know that Dave's sister Pat is a school teacher and school is over for the summer, but she told me that she still has some work to do. That means that maybe...

I dial Pat's house. Get the answering machine. Okay, I can try something else. I have the number in my phone's history. I dial it.

Happy voice. Brindy. "Hi, Carlita."

"Hello, Brindy," I say. "I am without husband. I think Pat is working..."

"She is," Brindy said.

"Are you at her house?"

"Yes." Brindy sounded cautious. "Why?"

"We are neighbors and friends. And alone. Would you like to have coffee with me?"

"Oh! Gosh, thank you, Carlita. That is very nice. Your house or mine?"

I noticed that she said 'my house' when she is staying at Pat's house, so, as Dave says, that is a piece of data. "I have some very good coffee that Dave uses. You do not know how funny he is about his coffee. Come over here."

"I'll be there in a minute," Brindy said.

I go to my kitchen and get two mugs out and do as Dave showed me, grinding the roasted coffee beans, then preparing to brew.

I hear a knock on the door. I open it. "Come in, Brindy," I say. "You are the first guest I have entertained in our house. Come sit in the kitchen. The coffee will take little amount of time to brew."

She followed me into the kitchen.

"You said 'our house', Carlita," she said. "You sound very sure of it."

"Oh, I am. My Dave, he is MY husband. It will always be that way. So it was his house. Now I am here, it is our house."

"I'm happy for you, you know," Brindy said. "Pat started out being wrong. Fourteen. Eighteen. The heart leads..."

"I understand that," I said. "I loved Dave. It was easy to be in love with him, but when I was fourteen there was nothing I could do. If I was still fourteen, I am afraid that we would break the laws."

Brindy nodded. "Been there."

I took a sip of coffee. "With Pat?"

"Yes. So many laws. Teacher and student. Adult and underaged minor. It didn't start out that way. I was being abused at home. I trusted Pat."

"You were rescued as well," I said. "I did not offer Dave a choice to rescue me. I was hiding in his truck. Another man might have made me get out, still out there in the dry places, or might have taken me to the police and turned me in. He did not."

Brindy smiled. "I bet he crapped himself when you popped up."

"He managed well," I said, remembering.

"I needed a friend," Brindy said. "Somebody I could trust."

"I needed everything BUT a husband," I said. "Pat was your teacher?"

"Yes," Brindy said. "You should see her. She's a great teacher. Students who are in school to learn love her. She's just ... She looks like somebody you can talk to. So I talked. I told her how my step-dad was beating on Mom and then he started beating on me. She talked me into going to the police."

What could I say? I just sipped my coffee and let her talk.

"They arrested him. Mom and I, we both had marks on us from where he beat us, and people had seen him hit her while they were at a nightclub. There were other things ... drugs. I think he was a suspect in a couple of robberies. Not a nice man. After they arrested him, Mom and I had a rough time. Pat was good to talk with. We started being friends outside school. She invited me over to spend the evenings with her when Mom was out. It got comfortable to be there..."

"I know about being comfortable and safe around someone," I said. "Dave, that first night. He put me in the finest hotel room, the finest place I'd ever been, in a huge bed by myself."

"Hotel?"

"Yes. You know, when he works out of town, he stays in hotels. This was a Holiday Inn Express."

"I've been in those. They are nice."

"Super nice," I said. "I was raised in an orphanage, Brindy. They did the best they could for us, but money was not much and we did our best to make it work for everything. Then, I left even that for the journey."

"You dressed as a boy, you said."

"I cut my hair short." I brushed my hair with my hand. I want it longer, maybe not REALLY long, but certainly longer. "I got boy's clothes. I am not very big here anyway," I said, touching my breasts, "But if I wear loose boy clothes, I look like a boy. I said I was eleven, you know, before a boy starts to become manly, his voice, his other things..."

"How did you ... Body functions? Period..." she thought for a second. "Menses?"

"I played a young boy, very shy, so I go away to perform my functions. I had backpack with supplies. Twice ... two periods. I almost got caught from them. We slept in groups, always with clothes on. I never got close to anybody. Still, when we get into America, some of the older boys, I think they were suspecting that maybe Carlos was really Carlita."

"Sounds scary," Brindy said.

"Beyond scary. I knew of three girls who started the trip who disappeared. I do not think they left, I think they were taken and raped and killed. There were bad people in that journey, some younger, some older, but bad ... That is when I left the others and started into the bushes, the little trees. I came to a clear path. Dave calls it the 'right of way', where a pipeline goes. It made my walking easier, but I drank my last water and ate a tortilla with beans, my last meal, and I saw that little building."

"Little building?"

"Yes. Dave says it was a metering station, where they measure the gas in the pipeline. I thought it was a small house, where people could live. It was small, but I know people in Guatemala who live in smaller ones. I slept there one night. Somebody had been there before. The gate was open. I slept beside the building. The next morning, I heard trucks coming up the road so I hid in the bushes."

"That was Dave?"

"Dave and another man. They talked about work. Dave left the door of his truck open. Have you seen the back seat of his truck?"

Brindy shook her head. "No. Why?"

"It is a mess. He has equipment and his winter clothes back there. I just crawled in and hid."

"How long were you hidden?"

"Until we got to a good road. Then I asked for water." It just occurred to me. He was listening to music. Mozart. And I was so frightened that I did not notice. "He gave me water then he pulled off the road. I thought he was going to put me on the side of the road." I smiled, remembering the next part. "He didn't. He put me in the front seat. I did not know how the seatbelt worked. When he put it on me, that is when he found that I was not Carlos."

"You're smiling."

"I am. Since that time, Dave has been treating me like I am a real person. He did not have to do so."

"That is what Pat did," Brindy said. "She treated me like I was a real person. That I had things to say that she wanted to hear. That my being around made things better."

I smiled. "Yes. That is it. Me being around makes things better. Him being around makes things better. And one plus one is MUCH greater than simply two."

"You DO get it," Brindy said. "I harbored the idea that maybe..."

"That I was here because I am a poor Guatemalan girl and a rich American man who will take care of me is a good thing to get? I know, Brindy. It is easy to see that, but I do not have that mind nor that heart. I was not raised that way. Dave is a good man. I have fallen in love."

"You fell in love..."

"Yes," I giggled. "I told him that I loved him. He said it was too soon. I told him that, okay, arranged marriages still happen, and since I had no family, I had to arrange my own marriage, and I chose him."

"But he loves you..."

"Yes, he does," I said. "I think he has struggles inside. He thinks that perhaps he is doing something wrong. I have to make him believe that he is doing exactly right."

"Pat has the same struggles," Brindy told me.

"How long ... you and Pat?"

"Never. Until I turned eighteen. I know she has had men. Sadly, men have had me..."

"I'm sorry," I said. "You do not have to say anything."

"No details. Just a stupid girl who thought that maybe sex builds a relationship. You?"

"Dave was the very first. First kiss of a man. First touches. First ... And only after I got my passport and birth certificate. Pat explained to me the laws. Dave explained to me the laws. I love Dave. The last thing I wanted was for him to be in jail because I love him."

"But when you got your passport..." she looked at me, expecting me to say something.

"Brindy, you must know that Guatemala is not a very good country for many things. Records of birth often do not exist, yet, for a bit of money, they can be made to exist. Also passports and visas. Dave could have turned me over to authorities and he would have been finished with me and nobody could say anything because he would have been correct."

"He didn't do that."

"No. Dave could NOT do that. It would not be Dave. He called Brother Bob who ran the orphanage. Brother Bob knew people in Guatemala that make things possible. I called Brother Bob myself and told him that if they were going to make me a person, then make me an eighteen year old person. Dave paid a lot of money for my documents. He did not have to do any of that. He did because he cares. He loves me. He did not wish to admit it but when I got papers that say I am eighteen, I made him say it."

She smiled. "I sort of did that to Pat. No papers, of course. But 'I'm eighteen. Where do we take this?' I think Pat and Dave do not do relationships very well. Until us."

"Yes," I said. "I do not know about Pat as much, but I think you are right about Dave. I know he loves me and we will do well together. But you and Pat? A future. Forgive me, Brindy. I do not know of relationships between two women."

She snorted. "Oh, I'm on new ground myself. I don't know. Long term stuff, I don't know. I think that Pat and I, we have that possibility. It's not like it used to be for two women. And I think it's always been easier for women than men, but for right now, I really like it. I love Pat."