52: Matthew Douglas

Back in Indianapolis on Wednesday afternoon, Barb handed me the envelope with our copy of the contract and a check for $150,000. She suggested that I go straight to a First Bank branch and deposit it. Heaven, Maggie, and I had gone out to a very nice dinner in a restaurant that catered to clientele who didn't want to be bothered. Barb, Conrad, and Patty Stills had worked on the contract until close to midnight. Our phone had been ringing before we got back to the hotel and we left the fine tuning to our lawyer. She had the copy we would sign sitting on the table in the suite at six this morning waiting for me to read it and sign it. We hand delivered the document at nine o'clock and walked away with the check. We were committed to a twelve episode weekly prime time season starting Monday, February second.

The check was the first quarter payment. They were paying $50,000 per episode.

"How about if I drop you off and head for the office?" Maggie suggested. I was driving. How did she think she'd do that?

"How about if you take two hours to pretend to be a college student and come to see one of the best basketball teams ever?" I countered. "It's the night before Thanksgiving. You are invited to stay at our house tonight and join us for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. You'll still have the weekend to go back to Chicago if you want to."

"I wasn't going back," she admitted. "I try not to go back."

"Then here's the deal, producer. If you want to spend the weekend alone, I'll take you back to your apartment. If you want to spend it in company, I'll take you home."

"Naked." It wasn't a question. She knew that was how we'd spend our weekend. I just nodded. "How would you like to see your producer's titties flopping around all weekend?" she giggled. "Let's go watch basketball."

Whitney had been moved to forward and came alive, dumping in fourteen points to contribute to our 86-51 beat down of Indiana State in a well-rounded effort.

Thanksgiving Day was laid back and relaxed for a while. We actually had a couple parents around, so there was no nudity except in private spaces. John and Bea Clinton flew down. Theresa's parents showed up to coo over baby Eleanor. Malcolm and Regina Evars came to join Lionel and Sugar and see if there was any progress on getting pregnant. And Crystal and Bill James came to join us. I think Bill just wanted to play in our kitchen.

We served Thanksgiving Dinner buffet style in the studio with every available table and chair we could scrounge up. We had a fire going in the fireplace and people really relaxed and just enjoyed our time together.

"Where are your parents, Brian?" Sheriff Donaldson asked. "I always like to see them when they are visiting."

"My sister is about to pop out her kid, so they went to Seattle this week. It's the first time Anna has gone out with them, so it promises to be interesting," I laughed. "My sister is a little more conservative than we are. I think." Maybe not!

"Brian, have you seen Cassie?" Mary asked. "Some of us were planning a shopping trip tomorrow."

"I saw them," Carl said. "Uh ... Cassie and her dad ... They went for a ride."

"To the airport?"

"No. I mean to the woods. Her dad is on Lady and Cassie is on Queenie," Carl said.

"Wow! Cassie got horses saddled and took her dad for a ride?" I could hardly believe it. Several people had been talking about riding this afternoon.

"I sort of helped make sure the cinches were tight, but she got everything set. Her dad seems to be comfortable and even had boots. I think they planned it in advance," Carl said.

"Brian!" Addison screamed. "Come to the office!" I went running to Stall One and found Doreen sprawled in the desk chair. I immediately looked for water and wondered where Doug was. Dor wasn't due for another two weeks, but anything could happen. Instead, she turned to me and smiled.

"Your mother wants to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving," she said as she handed me the phone. Oh!

"Hi, Mom. Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving to you, Uncle Brian," she said.

"Why are you calling me... ? Oh my goodness! Are you having turkey dinner in the maternity ward?"

"We are. Your sister finished baking her little turkey and we left everything on the table."

"What do we have? Is he out? Do I have a nephew or a niece? Mom, you're not giving me any information. Is Betts okay?"

"Calm down, Brian. Male, twenty-two inches, seven pounds eight ounces, ten toes and ten fingers."

"Hooray!" I clutched Doreen to me as I knelt beside her. I kissed her tummy and said, "Baby Swift, you have a new cousin."

"Here's your sister," Mom said.

"Brian, are you with Doreen and Addy?" Betts asked.

"Yes. We're all right here and huddling around the phone with Doreen's tummy," I laughed. "Are you okay, sister?"

"A little dopey, but happy. I just want to tell you that Jonathon Michael is anxious to meet all four of you."

"We can't wait to come see you," I said.

"I love you, Betts," Addison said. "Kiss our nephew and my brother for us."

"There are a lot of little kisses going around, Addy. Love you, too."

"Betsy, is it going to hurt a lot? I've got my legs crossed," Doreen moaned.

"Well, uncross them," Betts said. She dropped her voice to a whisper. "When you visit I'm going to want them spread far enough to get my head between them."

"Betts!" we all yelled.

"I forgot you were all on the phone!" she said. "I'm still dopey. That's it. Ignore anything this airhead says."

"We love you, Betts," I said. "Can't wait to see you and Jonathon. Oh, and Allen and everyone."

Doreen joined our casa in the big room Thanksgiving night. I massaged her with the chamomile oil and had lots of help doing it. Everyone wanted to touch the baby. Having Betts' news was making us all excited.

"Brian? It's uncomfortable for me to have intercourse right now, but I could still have an orgasm," Doreen whispered.

"Mmm. I suppose I could do that," I said as my fingers found her little nub and began to slowly tease it. "When I put my face down there, though, I know you are going to be imagining my sister's tongue lapping up your juices."

"Oh!" she gasped. My fingers were suddenly flooded with her lubrication. "I can't believe she said that with all of you right there. Please, Brian. Please eat me."

"I'm trying to think how many people were in the room with her there when she said it," I laughed. That was the end of the conversation, though, as I kissed my way down the baby bump and into her snatch.

I can see you, Madrina. I just opened my eyes a crack to whisper good morning and found you curled around our baby. You and Doreen look like an interlocking puzzle. Go easy on her titties when you suck them, honey. They are pretty tender.

I watched you with Eleanor yesterday afternoon. Her grandma practically had to pry her out of your arms. Not that you were so reluctant to give her up, but Eleanor didn't want to let go. She loves you. Little Baby Swift will be the same way. You're cuddled so close. Do you know yet? Is there a little girl or a little boy in that tummy?

Every child, Rhonda. Every child born to our clan is our child—yours and mine. We are so blessed.

Except for Dinita, all the parents were gone by noon on Friday. A few people had gone out early to do shopping at the sales, but most were lazing around, just waiting for the all-clear bell to sound. When it rang, clothes began to fall.

We'd had a cold snap at the beginning of the week and even a little snow while I was in New York, but the temperature had warmed into the fifties and sixties by Thursday. It was almost balmy outside when we grabbed robes to walk to the studio for lunch. We didn't stay outside for long, though. Some of the guys and several women were gathered around the big screen TV to watch football games. I was pretty content. Doreen settled into Doug's lap and when she was comfortable, both he and I put our hands on her tummy for a few minutes, grinning like crazy.

I wasn't that interested in the football game, but I was interested in a nap, so I went back to the house to lounge in front of our fireplace in my big chair. I wondered if I'd logged as many sleep hours in that chair as I had in my bed. I was surprised that Maggie followed me into the room, hung her robe on a peg by the door, and curled up in my lap.

"Uh ... Hi, Maggie. You know that this position is going to cause a reaction, don't you? And we haven't really defined what permissions we have," I said.

"I'd be good with cuddling and touching, okay?" she said. "It's hard not to be touching if you are cuddling, right?"

"That's true. Just so you know that I'm not planning to have sex with you. Okay?"

"Oh, yeah. But there's a certain unresolved tension between us, Brian. I'm working on resolving tensions and I'm getting better at it. Lamar still scares me, but he was so good and so kind when we did our shoot up in Indy. All of us felt safe. It's too bad the thing with the Pacers didn't work out."

"I think he was a little relieved," I said. "He's really getting into law school and wants to focus his energy."

"He's still going to join us for our taping when he can. Even Heaven likes having him nearby."

"They were friends in high school," I said. I was still trying to figure out what she wanted. I had an arm around her as she leaned against me and she took my other hand in hers.

"Brian..." she took a deep breath, seemed to hold it a few seconds and then blew it out. She opened the palm of my hand and pulled it up to cup her right breast. "I am a woman. I have breasts. I like them, mostly. I sometimes wish the nipples weren't quite so big, but they are very sensitive, so I can't complain about that." She moved my hand over the other breast and squeezed so I would squeeze her. "Your hands are warm and they feel good touching my skin."

"Maggie..."

"Please, Brian. This is important. Please let me continue."

"Go ahead." What the hell is she doing? She pulled my hand down to her stomach.

"I'm a woman. I have ovaries and a uterus. As far as I know, everything is in working order. I could get pregnant and carry a child. I see how you look at Doreen—how you caress her tummy so tenderly. No one has ever said anything, but I think—I am sure—that she is carrying your child. I look at her and think, 'One day I could carry a child. What a miracle that would be.' Of course, I know that it's not a miracle." She dragged my hand down and forced it between her legs, pushing my fingers right to her opening. "I'm a woman. I have a clitoris." She was shaking and, though she was damp, it wasn't the wetness of a woman who was turned on. She pushed my finger deeper into her and caught her breath. "I have a vagina. At my choosing, I could invite a penis—perhaps your penis that is pressing against my thigh—into my vagina to make love. To be a whole woman." She jerked my hand away from her pussy and pulled it around her as she collapsed, sobbing against my chest.

What the fuck just happened?

I held her as she curled into a fetal position in my arms. Maggie is small, like Judy, and when she curled up I had a tiny bundle in my arms. She cried for a long time. I didn't know what to do, so I just held her and petted her hair.

"I'm sorry, Maggie," I said finally. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No. You don't understand, Brian. No one ... no one has touched me in any of those places ... since I was raped." The sobs were renewed. She didn't seem to want to pull away from me. If anything she held me more tightly. When she could speak again, she whispered. "I needed to know ... I needed to know that I could be touched. But I was so afraid. Rose said ... she told me I could trust you ... she ... that you would never do anything I didn't give you permission to do. I needed to trust ... that I could be touched and not be raped. Thank you. Thank you for letting me trust you."

Friday night, the Lady Hoosiers put paid to Liberty. The opponent was so overmatched it was difficult not to be embarrassed for them. Three Hoosiers scored nineteen points each while hitting sixty percent from the floor. It didn't seem like Liberty could get a shot all the way to the rim.

There were a lot of hugs as our ladies talked to the opposing team after the game. It seemed like the 97-46 victory was harder to take than the victory over Ball State Monday night at 98-42.

Whitney came home feeling a little sheepish and I cuddled her closely all night.

What is it about me? You, Nicki, Joanne, Maggie. I think even Danielle, though I don't know why. Robyn. What is it that attracts damaged, broken women to me? I'm so out of my depth. I don't know what to do for these women. When you were ... sick ... I wanted to fix things and Dr. McCall kept telling me I couldn't fix it. Stop asking why. But she was so pitiful, Rhonda. She just wanted to be held, and touched sexually, and know that she was in control.

I guess that's the answer, isn't it. She could trust me. And there isn't anything that I want more in the world than for my friends to be able to trust me. I have to switch her to that category. She's not just my employee. She's my friend. I can't be her friend unless I let her be mine.

Is that what happened to you and April? You each found someone you could trust? I think I understand. A little. I'm still pretty dense.

I sighed. Arms wrapped around me.

"Some things are just too hard to say out loud, aren't they?" Rhonda whispered. "I feel that way sometimes, too."

I thought I wouldn't see the triplets over the break. They had gone home to Louisville, but they all showed up at the house Saturday afternoon.

"Is it all right for us to spend the evening?" Danielle said. She was already stripping off her clothes. The other two were slower, but both were hanging articles on the pegs by the back door.

"Of course you can," Rose said. "You can have a room for the night if you want. Why go back to an empty chapter house?"

"Rose! That's so sweet of you," Debbie said. She and Dolly went with Rose to the fireplace and were introduced to Lexi, Judy, TK, and Pam. The younger girls had only arrived this morning. Rich and Amber were out with Lionel, Lamar, and Sugar. Susan had Renee out at a spa as they prepared to celebrate Renee's 23rd birthday. We were keeping Lexi and Judy occupied while the rest of Casa de la Tierra prepared for Lexi's 18th and Carl's 20th birthday.

While they were talking, Danielle led me to the chair and curled into my lap like a cat. I swear, she purred. We didn't go to sleep. Danielle was in a talkative mood and wanted ... I wasn't sure. It seemed like she just wanted to be petted. Like a cat.

"I shaved my legs this morning because I didn't want to scratch you up when I sat on your lap. Do you like them?" She kept hold of my hand as she ran it up and down her leg. Then she took my hand and held the palm against her face. "You have such nice hands. I got around front to watch you while you were cooking last week. You always wear gloves. Do you think your hands are ugly, Brian? Because they have scars on the knuckles? I don't mind. I know you have hard hands, but you are always so gentle with them." She dragged my hand down across her breasts and onto her tummy where she left it. "I like you to hold me and pet me. Is that weird? I'm not teasing you. I'm not, like, leaking pussy juice in your lap or anything and you aren't poking me with your thing. If you were, I'd call Debbie. She wants to be poked by it. But you can pet me. I like every place you pet me. I just feel so warm and cuddly. I'm talking a lot, aren't I?"

She shut up abruptly and looked at me with her lips pursed together. I stared into her eyes and then we both started laughing.

"I like to hold you," I said. "And I like listening to you. You're like my own little Chatty Cathy doll. Only naked. And even if we're not getting turned on, I like holding you and petting your naked body."

"Did you see that movie? I love Steve Martin and John Candy. But they are so homophobic!"