Chapter 17

Jenn's turn:

It started, to steal a quote, "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... "

Or maybe I'm Alice and the rabbit hole is somewhere in Auburn, Alabama. Either way, I wonder if I'm not suffering hallucinations.

I'm Virginia Elkins. Everybody calls me Jenn or Jenny except roomfuls of high school students who call me Mizz Elkins to my face. I can easily imagine what many of them call me behind my back. The average high school student, despite delusions to the contrary, is NOT very innovative.

I'm a high school teacher. Was single. A lot of people still think I'm single, because I got married in one of THOSE states to my best friend, a wonderful mind trapped in the body of Laci Kaye Decker. If you're particularly astute, you might deduce from the names that both Laci and I are female. As Kimberly says – "Lebanese." Laci and I are married to each other. Wasn't always that way.

So there I was, walking into my home one evening, untypically alone in my apartment because Laci's the senior IT lead for her employer and they're cutting in some new equipment after normal hours. The answering machine is flashing. One message. I sighed. Probably not anything I wanted to hear. Most of my friends called my cellphone. I pushed the button.

A fretful-sounding young voice. "Aunt Jen, this is Kimberly. Your niece. Mom's in jail. I don't have a place to stay. I'm sort of in a tough spot here. Can you call me back?" And a phone number.

I dialed it immediately.

It was picked up. "Bardon residence. This is Pam."

"This is Virginia Elkins. I got a call from this number. My niece Kimberly?"

"Yes, Kimberly called from here. Would you like to talk with her?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said. "May I ask how she ended up with you?"

"I'm a court-appointed child advocate. She's been with me since last night."

"Is she okay?"

"She's okay. As best she can be under the circumstances."

"Can I talk with her?"

"Here she is." Mizz Pam passed the phone, saying "Your Aunt Jennifer."

My niece. Mom and Dad had two daughters. Poor Dad. He wanted a son. I don't think my present lifestyle was what he had in mind. My older sister, in the precise terms of the day, was a slut. Anything with wine or weed and a car was fair game.

Now she's in jail and her teenaged daughter is at a fork in the road. Kim's fourteen or fifteen. Ward of the state? Or me?

I might've missed Mom and Dad's finer inferences about that whole 'boy-girl' thing (not that I didn't try) but I did come off with 'family is forever'.

I wasn't part of Kimberly's life up to that point. I was there for the odd birthday and when Mom and Dad were still alive, for Christmas, and Kimberly's my only niece, so I smiled and gave her presents and hugs, but past that, her mom was all about 'I need to borrow a few bucks to get me to payday', modulated with 'you're a great big bull dyke'. Not conducive to good sibling relations, you know.

And here's her kid.

And I'm family. At the time, I was thinking of all the ways I could regret bringing a teenager into my life. It was a loooong list.

Did it anyway.

Could've been like her mom, an amoral, drug-addled slut. Wasn't.

Could've been a stupid, rebellious little know-it-all hellion. Heaven knows my classrooms see a LOT of those. Wasn't.

Got Kimberly. Adding Kim to my life wasn't a hundred percent seamless, but it was close. She wasn't demanding or rude or intrusive, and after she met Laci and we drew her into conversations, she became more sociable and self-assured.

Found herself.

Then one day she comes back from the apartment pool with this surprised-looking middle-aged guy in tow. That would be Tim Duncan. I don't know what sort of cosmic event happened that day but by the end of the weekend they'd decided they were in love. Must've been real, because they were inseparable, and when you add their combined senses of humor, insufferable, and the Saturday before Thanksgiving, they were married. I know that was real because I signed the license so my sixteen year old niece could get married.

So I'm thinking – great! Laci and I decided to fly to California and get ourselves married as well, and Laci moved in with me and things could've rocked along like this forever, until my computer-literate, precociously intelligent niece, wife of an engineer, neared graduation and started researching precocious girl engineers or something. Google is a dangerous tool.

Next thing I know, they're going to freakin' ALABAMA to talk about Tim getting a new job and Kim getting into some kind of strange situation filled with girl-child engineers and their husbands.

Is that synopsis enough?

Naturally we had to visit.

It's surreal.

I'm a teacher. I'm qualified and I'm pretty portable with that. Laci? I swear she was interviewed by Nikki and Cindy. Cindy's Kim's age and Nikki's a whole year older and they dragged my Laci in front of Alan. Oh, he's not QUITE as evil as Dan Richards or Tim Duncan, having a wife THREE years older than Kim. He's also the de facto COO for the engineering house called 3Sigma.

He told Laci that they didn't need an IT department and then hired her on the spot. Naturally, we decided to move.

There was a conversation, Laci and I in our hotel room.

Laci told me, "I always wanted to be spontaneous." Giggle. "I was just talking with Nikki and Cindy about networks and servers and they started asking questions like they're interested in what I do, then I realize they're actually measuring what I know. Next thing I know I'm talking with Alan and he's making every IT joke you ever heard, and then he makes me a job offer."

"We don't have to do this, Sweetie," I told her. "We have friends and family back there in Louisiana. We're secure there."

"And I really want this adventure," she countered. "Tell me you don't."

"I can't say that," I said. "This is the wildest bunch I ever imagined. Do you LISTEN to these people?"

Laci nodded. "I'm still trying to get over Bot-bot. He's the stupidest one of the bunch and he does better than those students of yours we met at the mall last month. And a ... a ten year old asking me how good I am at programming, and what languages do I know."

"They're actually like an island to themselves," I said. I can be quite analytical at times. "So much of their social engagement is internal. Others bop in and out, but they have this core."

"Terri says I'm now part of it," said Laci.

"Ah. The pTerridactyl."

"Jenn, I'm not within thirty IQ points of that child. I guarantee it."

"Kim says you got recruited. Terri told Vicki so."

By this time, Laci and I were stretched out together on the king-sized hotel room bed. She arched an eyebrow, a sign that just perhaps some physical contact was desired.

I like physical contact with Laci.

Our search for a new apartment turned us up something promising that wasn't far from the 3Sigma complex – a short walk or a shorter bike ride through a neat neighborhood.

Kim had to see it, of course, and with Kim comes the Munchkin Mafia, so now all the important people know where we're living.

I know that this move is going to mean a new set of friends to meet, but right now we're good. That bunch at the community will do quite nicely.

At one of the social events, a music party that generally happens on Saturday evening, I got Alan aside for a quick talk. I'm still nervous.

"I don't have anything to contribute," I said. "I see all this and I wonder what I have to offer..."

"Jenn, don't be silly. You're part of us already. You're Kim's aunt. Laci's part of the team. You're part of the team."

"But I'm BEHIND everybody, Alan. Look at that cluster over there..." I motioned to the knot of Cindy, Kim, Nikki, Tina and Susan. "I'm not within twenty IQ points of the bottom of that bunch."

"First," Alan said, "in raw numbers, you're probably wrong. A lot of that is nurture. We finally put together a place where that bunch could grow. Second, you're smarter than you give yourself credit for. Kim says so. Third? Gee, lady! It's FAMILY! Come one, come all! Look at Sim and Beck and Maddie. They're plenty smart, but not at the levels of those girls. And they fit right in. Nobody's running a race here."

"Feels like it," I said.

"Shouldn't," Alan countered. "Besides, if you continue to play on our playground, some of this stuff will rub off on you. I'm entertaining the idea of a training venture. I have no background in education. You do."

"Don't tease me, Alan," I said.

"Not teasing, Jenn. There's a need for training in this business. A lot of the major manufacturers offer training, but it's on their stuff and a good bit of it is nothing but a sales pitch. We've talked about a training program that takes up where the engineering degree leaves off – nuts and bolts, old tech, this is the way things are supposed to be done, don't re-invent the wheel – that kind of thing. Are you up to structuring that?"

"I dunno. Now you're moving me out of MY comfort zone."

"You think about it. I know that we will. But as far as being a part of this, you need to cool your jets. You've been assimilated." He smiled. "And I'm damned glad to have you with us."

"Well, take good care of the little wifey," I said.

His eyes crinkled in a grin. "Mine or yours?"

"I have NEVER thought of Laci as 'the little wifey'," I smirked.

"Try it."

"When I do, I'm gonna tell her it's YOUR idea, tying us down with all that male-centric 'husband-wife' stuff..."

"Ah!" he laughed. "Scratch a teacher, get a social justice warrior."

"Hell, Alan," I said. "I'm gonna hang around here just to do battle with you. And I'm tellin' Tina on you."

"Tina already knows. It's one of my charming aberrations."

So Laci comes walking up.

"There's the little wifey," I said.

She looked at me, raising an eyebrow. "Where'd THAT come from?"

"Him," I laughed, pointing my thumb at Alan.

"I'm only the wife on weeks where Sunday is an odd-numbered day, Alan. I'll show you the schedule." Laci doesn't miss much. She looked around, saw Tina, waved, then bent over and kissed Alan. And laughed.

Tina didn't actually RUN over, but she got here pretty fast.

"What brought THAT on, honey?" she asked Alan.