I'm Henry Grayson, just a regular old guy. I'm fifty-six and I want to tell you my story. I'm not famous or did anything fantastic; not a martial arts specialist or anything like that. In fact I was never in the military. My life totally changed five years ago when I got a ticket fore a DWI (driving while intoxicated).

I wrapped my late model pickup around a tree. It was a day that changed my life forever. Before I tell you about the accident I would like to tell you a little about my life and what lead up to me driving drunk.

I've been a truck driver for over thirty years. I went to high school and upon graduation I knew I wasn't college material. My dad was a truck driver and I wanted to be just like him. Since I wasn't old enough to drive a big rig my dad got me hired as a yard man at the trucking company depot.

I loaded and unloaded trucks and even learned a lot about repairing trucks. I've been around them all my life. I attended a truck driving school after I turned twenty-one. It was a year later that I finally got hired on as a driver. My dad told me he was proud of me and that makes a guy feel pretty good.

Mom was a homebody and volunteered a lot. I have a sister, Jen who is two years older than me and she worked at the local supermarket and got married when she turned twenty.

Life for me was good and I dated a lot of the local girls. I went to a party with some of my friends who attended college about forty miles away. It was where I met my future wife Mary. I called her Mare and she never seemed to mind.

Mare came from a more uptown community but for some reason thought she would hang with us less intellectual people. Maybe it made her feel smarter or something, I don't really know. She had a year to go to get a teaching degree when we began dating; I would go up to the college every chance I could just to be with her. We were having sex pretty regular and she got pregnant.

When she told her parents they were really pissed. The hadn't even met me and when they found out I drove truck for a living they were even more pissed. Mare told them she loved me and we were going to get married no matter what they said. I hadn't asked her yet but I loved her and had no problem asking her to become my wife and the mother of my children.

We got married before she began showing and her parents paid for the wedding. My parents gave us a thousand dollars to help us get started. They liked Mare a lot but not so much her parents who often interfered with our marriage. They just didn't think I was good enough for their only daughter.

When Mare graduated with her teaching degree she decided she wanted to be a stay at home mom. Her parents told her that they helped pay for her education and would hate to see it go to waste. Mary decided to appease her mother by becoming a substitute teacher and worked up to three days a week. My mom watched our son Robbie whenever Mare worked.

I was an over the road long hauler and would be gone four or five days at a time. I would then get at least three days off before I hit the road again. Being a long hauler paid a lot more than local driving but I would have much rather been home with my family.

Whenever I was home Mare and I spent a lot of time making love. Whenever her parents would take Robbie for the day, Mare and I had sex all day. We were young and fucked like bunnies. Her parents got pissed when Mare got pregnant again. Nine months later Boyd arrived.

Her mother told her that if I wasn't man enough to use condoms than she should take birth control pills. It kind of pissed me off that her mom didn't consider me a man because I didn't wear condoms. We were married for Christ sakes. Mary made an appointment to go to the doctor the following month after Boyd was born.

The doctor said she had an allergy to birth control pills and shouldn't take them. She talked to her about possibly getting fitted for a diaphragm. She said she wanted to talk to me first. We decided I could use condoms for awhile and see how it worked out. When I got home the following week we had sex a couple of time a day. I did wear the condoms but one time the stupid thing came off.

I had stayed in Mare after we both came and when I went to pull out my cock was soft and the condom came off. I was half finger fucking Mare trying to get the condom out of her. We were both laughing and Mare was getting hot at the same time. I finally got hold of it and pulled it out; my cum had pretty much leaked out of it.

I threw it in the trash and put on a new one and we went at it again. Mare and I decided after our little mishap that she would get fitted for a diaphragm and made an appointment to get fitted. When she went back to the doctor they told her it was too late, she was already pregnant again.

She came home and cried and said her parents would kill her. We waited till she began to show and she told her mother. Her mom blew her stack and of course blamed me. She said Mare should cut my dick off.

To make a long story short Mare had our child. It was a girl and we named her Amber. She was such a cute baby that Mary's mother actually smiled when she saw her. As for me, her mom rarely talked to me unless it was to degrade me.

Mare and I had a long talk and I told her I would have a vasectomy. We had three beautiful kids and that was more than enough. When she told her mother her mother said I should have had one before our first baby was born. Damn, that woman hated me. I remember her saying that Mare was too refined and too good for me.

My mom was over most every day when Mare needed help with the kids. I knew I had to do something and put in for a daily route where I would be home every evening. Eventually I was able to get a daily route but had to take a pretty good pay cut. At least I would be home in the evening and help take care of my kids. I loved my kids and they loved me. I would play with them and let them crawl all over me.

Since I backed down to the daily deliveries money was a little tight. Once the two boys were in school Mare decided to become a full time teacher. As she explained, she would be off the same days as our kids and my mom loved taking care of Amber.

After Mare went back to teaching full times things began to change. I realize after you've been married a number of years and have three kids that sex isn't the number one thought in a person's mind but we weren't even doing it once a week.

When I mentioned it to Mare she said we went through our sex everyday stage and it wasn't as important to her as it was to me. She had a family and a job and I should understand it. I knew she had been talking to her mother.

I did understand but some of the loving wasn't there during our love making. I don't believe she was cheating on me or anything like that, it's just that I rated our sex life at a possible seven and Mare said it was about four for her. Eventually I lost some of the interest also because it was so one sided and I wasn't going to plead with her whenever I got a little horny.

I spent more time doing things with my kids. Sometimes Mare took part, other times she didn't. When I went to the kids' ball games and school doings, Mare would go with her mother to plays, movies and what not. She told me she missed doing the more intellectual things.

I took the kids to the big amusement parks every year. Mare went about every other year. She said she didn't like roller coasters or things that went round and round; they upset her stomach. She wouldn't even go on the water rides because she didn't want to get wet, but the kids and I loved it. We would let the sun dry us off.

Our life over the years became somewhat mundane. The kids and I did things together and Mare had her life of plays and operas and went to intellectual parties with her parents. Thinking back she never invited me to go with her, probably because she usually went with her mother or maybe she was just embarrassed to let people know she was married to a truck driver.

Don't get me wrong here, Mare loves our kids and was always there to help them with their school work and made sure they had breakfast and a good dinner every evening. It was more like we were going through the routines of life that didn't include a lot of love between Mare and I.

She would often go see her parents and take the kids with her. They liked going there because my in-laws had a pool and the kids loved it. The only time I visited them was during holidays or if there was a party. I honestly believe that my wife felt she sowed her oats with me and had the kids. Now it was out of her system and she wanted some of her old life back.

There were times when she would go out with her friends. It was other teachers or her old neighborhood friends. She might have to much to drink and when she would come home she would be horny and want sex.

I would never deny her because I was happy to oblige. During these times she would often be her old self and the sex was good. She would even let me go down on her which we didn't do very often. I remember telling her she should go out with her friends more often.

She never really cared for my friends. I don't know if she had something against truckers or just thought she was above them. When my friends and their wives threw a party we were often invited. Mare never wanted to go. If it was a family party I would take the kids.

We just seemed to drift apart as far as doing things together. One thing for sure is that we were opposites and that was probably our initial attraction. Then she became pregnant and we were struck with real life. I enjoyed the whole family thing and doing things with the kids. I just wish Mare would have done more with me.

We made our bed and I guess we were sleeping in it. I wasn't much into porno but I did like reading erotic stories. There were a lot of guys out there that had it worse than I did. Mare and I still had sex once a month and great sex when she went out with her friends.

Mare was a good looking woman. She dressed conservatively but also fashionable. She would walk most everyday, even in the winter and she took aerobic classes for years. When Amber got older she used to go walking and to aerobics with her mom. She said she liked doing the exercise.

Amber was still my little girl no matter how old she got. She played softball and volleyball all through high school and even in the summer leagues. I didn't miss a game. Once in awhile Mare went to a game but said she didn't care much for sports.

I caught my sons' games also. They played football and baseball so my time was usually spent going to my kids games. Robbie and Boyd both went to vocational school. Mare was aggravated with them because they didn't want to go to college. I told her that it was up to them what they wanted to do with their life.

Robbie took up wielding and actually received a scholarship at a wielding school that included an apprenticeship at our largest factory. I was so proud of him. Boyd took up auto mechanics and could tear a vehicle apart and put it back together. He got a job right out of high school at a large dealership. They even sent him to school and other classes to improve and update his skills. My boys must have gotten their brains from their mother.

They eventually left the house when they turned twenty to make a life of their own. They both had girlfriends and I made sure I had the talk with them about the birds and the bees. They kind of laughed at me but I told them safe sex was important. I remember Rob telling me that if I practiced safe sex, he wouldn't be here today. It gave us all a laugh because it was true.

A little bit about our neighborhood. We owned a three bedroom ranch style home. It was in a semi rural area in a small town. Our neighbors all seemed nice and I went with the kids to the block parties. Mare even attended a few of them.

I know Mare seemed a bit snobbish to a few of our neighbors but they still treated us with respect. Our kids played with their kids on a daily basis and they all went to the same local school which was in walking distance of our houses. Some thought Mare was this way since she was a teacher and didn't want to show favoritism to any of the kids. The truth is, she was a snob.

She loved her kids, her friends and her parents. Anyone else was treated a bit differently. I loved her, but once the happy Mare somewhat disappeared I just lived with it. I guess her mom won out in the end. She became her mother in her personality. The only thing is I don't think she hated me but I think she lost her love for me somewhere along the road.

Five and a half years ago:

This takes us up to a little less than six years ago when the changes began happening. Amber decided she was going to go to college and become a nurse. This made Mare and I both very happy. I remember Mare telling me at least one of our kids had some sense. That pissed me off. I told her all our kids were good kids and both of our boys made good choices and a future that they were interested in. It was too bad she couldn't understand that. We rarely argued in front of the kids. There were times we raised our voices but I would walk away rather than listen to her rant.

One day I showed up for work and everything changed. We had heard rumors for awhile that another company was looking to buy our trucking company out. Well, it happened. All the employees were called into the warehouse for a meeting. After we were asked to be seated. We were told that the new company had taken over that day and that their human resource department would be talking to everyone who worked there.

The lady speaking said her name was Helen Sparks. Someone yelled out, "What about our union representation?" We were told that a few of our union representatives were there and four men stood up and sat back down.

"We have talked with your union and will abide by the contract with them. What you need to know is there will be some changes. The economy is down which we all know and there will be some layoffs. Some employees may choose to retire. We will be talking to everyone and explain the changes and options that affect each one of you," said Mrs. Sparks.

She continued, "This week's schedule was already planned and we will abide by it so we don't upset our previous commitments. We have over fifty truck drivers driving for us. Fifteen of them own their own trucks. We will be cutting back to at most thirty drivers. Our warehouse staff will be cut back by seven people. There will be layoffs and retirements. If business improves there is a chance of being called back. We are trying to be honest with you up front. Business as most of you know has declined considerably over the last few years.

"We have a schedule posted when we will be talking to each one of you this week starting with senior employees. Your names and times are posted on the three bulletin boards. Please let us know if you won't be able to make the appointment and we'll make other arrangements. Thank you all for your service to this company and we'll do our best to make this transition as quick and painless as possible."

Mrs. Helen Sparks was a good looking woman in possibly her mid to late forties. The first thing I noticed about her was the confidence she seemed to have, since I lived with a woman like this for over twenty-five years. She also was a good looking woman and dressed nice and didn't try to dress younger than she was and pile on the make-up. I guess if I was to sum her up in one word I'd say she was a classy lady.

I looked to see when my interview was and it was that day after I made my first run. I was down to two runs a day and would often eat lunch between deliveries. When I got back from my first delivery Mrs. Sparks said she would be the one talking to me.

She asked me if I had lunch yet and when I told her I hadn't, she asked me if I would mind having lunch with her at the diner next door. We could do our interview while having lunch and I could get back in time for my second run. I told her that would be fine.

She asked for a booth when we entered. We ordered lunch; she had a salad and I ordered a sandwich and fries. Some of the other workers were having lunch and smiled at me; I just shook my head at them. I guess they wondered why I was having lunch with Mrs. Sparks.

"Mr. Grayson, I read that you have been here for twenty-five years. I see you started as an over-the-road driver and was trying to get on doing daily runs which you have been doing most of your time here."

"Yes, that's true, by the way you can call me, Henry, everyone does. Once my kids were born I wanted to be able to be home with them and do things with them. They were my life and I spent all my free time being with them and going to all their school and summer activities."

"What are they doing now?" Helen asked.

"Robbie, my oldest is a welder as well as working on becoming a Journeyman. He's doing great and I'm really proud of him. Boyd is an auto mechanic and works at the local dealership. He is also improving himself by taking advanced auto repair classes. Both of my boys have done well and I'm proud of them."

"I noticed you have a daughter, Amber who just graduated."

"Yes, she's my pride and joy. She's daddy's little girl and always will be. She is attending the local college to become a nurse. She started taking college classing her senior year of high school. Look Mrs. Sparks I glad that you're interested in my family but what does this have to do with my job?"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't prying but I needed to know a little about your family. You see, our local businesses are cutting back on the number of deliveries that they will be receiving each month which presents a problem for us. The only way we can have you driving full time is that you will have to go over the road whenever there aren't any local deliveries."

"My God, I will be back to where I started," I said rather loudly and a few people looked at me.

"Not exactly, it looks like you would go over the road possibly one week out of a month or be put on part time. I'm sorry but you aren't old enough to offer a retirement benefit package to. Also you have the best driving records of all the drivers here.

"You've never been cited or had any type of accident or claim. I've been in the trucking business for nearly twenty-two years and that's nearly unheard of. We would hate to lose drivers like you," said Mrs. Sparks. "By the way, if you want me to call you Henry, then please call me Helen."

We finished our lunch and she told me she would need my answer by the end of the week. She also said it was really nice meeting me. I got in my truck and made my second local delivery thinking that I didn't have a lot of choice on what to do. After twenty-five years I wasn't going to become a part-time driver. I wasn't sure how Mare would take it but I found out when I got home.

Mare and I didn't talk much anymore. We got along and I did my thing and she did hers. I did all the outside work like having a small garden, cutting the lawn and of course doing the shoveling and snow blowing in the winter. Any small house repairs I usually did; if it was a major job like a roof replacement or new windows I figured they had contractors for that.

We all, that's Mare, Amber and me helped clean the inside. We always kept the house in pretty neat and clean shape, in my opinion. Mare of course didn't like our house over the last few years. It made me wonder if she ever liked it. Always complaining about how nice her friends' houses were and how they could afford nice vacations, new vehicles, new furniture and whatever else she could think up.

The truth be known, over the years Mare didn't want to go anywhere with me. Whenever I suggested vacations or cruises she always had excuses why she didn't or couldn't go. She did go on vacations with her parents when they asked her and usually took Amber with her. At those times I took my boys and we went to the big league ball games.

I figured she stayed with me for the benefit of the kids. I was at a point in life where I didn't care anymore. I went to my friends' houses, played golf and still went places with my kids.

Maybe once every few months Mare would come home from going out with her friends and would be drunk and horny, it's about the only time we had sex. She never talked about it the next day. I guess we lived somewhat of a life of convenience and stayed together for the kids.

Mare and I did our best not to argue in front of our kids but at times it happened. We both loved them and did put them first. At this point in our life Mare and I didn't hate each other but didn't really love each other anymore. I had often wondered what would happen after they all left from being under our roof.

Ever since we started going together we were told how opposites attract which was very true. What we didn't know was what happens later in life when the differences became issues and we often disagreed. I was happy with what we had and just wanted to enjoy life. I wanted to buy a camping trailer and travel and see the country.

Mare told me straight out that she wasn't going to be living in a camper. It was bad enough that we lived in a small town where everyone knows your business. She always thought that someday she could live the good life and attend posh parties and rub shoulders with the elite like her parents did.

I came home and told her we had to talk. There were major changes at work and I would have to go back on the road at least one week out of the month. She looked at me like, 'Who gives a shit.' I don't think she cared one way or the other.

She told me that she and Amber would make do, they always did. I told Amber about it when she got back from college that day. "You have to do what you have to do. I'm in college all day and Mom always does her own thing anyway. We'll be fine Dad, but I will miss not seeing you when I get home from school." She kissed me and gave me a hug. She was the best daughter a father could ask for.

I talked to Helen the next day and she was happy with my decision. She did remind me that the road trips would pay more money, which I almost forgot about.

It was a couple of weeks later I headed out on a four day trip. When you are driving a truck you think about a lot of things. I found myself comparing Mare and Helen. They were both good looking women who dressed age appropriately, but Mare would always want the more expensive clothes. She would always tell me that she earned her own money and deserved to buy whatever she wanted.

I really couldn't argue with that and didn't even care to. I didn't know anything about Helen but wondered about where she came from and what led her into the trucking business.

When I arrived home I thought Mare would be happy to see me but by the way she acted you would have thought I just got back from the local store. When Amber got home she yelled out "Daddy" and gave me a big hug. I would be off for the next couple of days and decided to go visit my sons. They were happy to see me.

Rob told me he was getting married and was really happy. I knew his girlfriend and she was a very pretty girl and was a secretary at the plant he worked at. When I looked at Rob he said, "No, Dad we don't have to get married. We just love each other and want to be together."

They had a nice wedding and reception. Mary seemed happy for them and her parents even showed up. They gave Rob and Sue a check for a thousand dollars. My mom and dad gave them five hundred dollars.

Mary acted nice to me at the wedding. Her parents were even cordial to me. We sat at the same table during dinner. Mary and I even danced together at the reception. Her parents said they had to leave early because of a previous engagement and said goodbye to Rob, Sue and Mary. Amber went up to them and gave them a hug. Everyone loved Amber.

Mary drank more after her parents left. After getting a little high she seemed to let herself go a little more. For awhile she seemed like the Mare that I married. She seemed friendlier to everyone, even my parents. When we got home I helped her undress, then I went down on her. It's been so long since we had oral sex that I really did my best.

She came from my oral manipulations before I even got on top of her and fucked her hard. Damn, it felt good. It's sad when you have to wish your wife was a drunk just so you can have sex with her.

The following week I worked on local runs and Helen asked me out to lunch; she said she wasn't big on eating alone and I was nice to talk to. I have to admit she wasn't hard on the eyes. As we ate lunch I asked her about her background.

"Well, my dad was a trucker as far back as I can remember. I grew up around truckers and the terminals. My father eventually bought a trucking outfit and after I went to college I worked at the terminal as a dispatcher. I've worked in the transportation industry ever since," said Helen.

"What about family?" I asked. "I see you're wearing a wedding ring. Where does your husband work if I may ask?"

"My husband passed away two years ago of colon cancer. I still wear my rings, not really sure why. I do have a grown son. He works at the corporate office for a freight company. That's enough about me; we better get back, you have a run to make," she said but I could tell she didn't like talking about personal issues.

Things between Mare and me didn't change much. I asked Amber what her mom did while I was gone and she told me about the same things she did when I was home. She would go out with friends or over to her parents' house. Amber said she often complained that she shouldn't have gotten married so early in life and often blamed me for getting her pregnant. She said she missed out on the better things in life.

When Amber asked her like what, she told her that there was a part of her that liked the better things in life and eating out at the more elegant restaurants and going to high society parties like her parents did.

Amber said her mom often talked about the expensive houses her friends had and how their parties were more elegant. I asked Amber how she liked her life and she told me she loved her life. She liked all the places we've gone and how friendly our neighbors were. There is no part of her life that she would want to change except her mom and I never seemed happy together.

I was eating lunch more often with Helen. It was just friends having lunch. Sometimes she would invite another person along. She told me it was so people wouldn't talk about me. She didn't want rumors out there that might mess up my marriage.

I told her that we didn't do anything wrong and had nothing to hide. I have to say I really enjoyed my little bit of time with Helen. She did tell me her son was married and his wife was expecting. She would soon be a grandmother.

It was after my next long distance trip that the shit hit the fan when I got home. I walked in the door and Mare had suitcases and boxes of personal things setting there in the living room.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I'm moving out. I'm sorry but I don't love you anymore and all our kids are grown up. I talked to my mother and am moving back to their house for now. I'm not happy and I'm pretty sure you aren't either. I just want out. You can have the house and all the furnishing. I just want my personal things and half of our savings and checking account," said Mare.

I didn't know what to say. I should have known that this was coming but I guess it's different when it really happens. "What am I to tell our kids?"

"I have already talked to all of them. I told them that I wasn't happy and we would be getting divorced. Amber tried to talk me into staying but I told her we both loved her and that I would still see her often. She can stay here with you."

I begin to get mad and we were both yelling. She told me how she hasn't been happy for years and just stayed because of the kids. I asked her if there was someone else and she looked down at the floor.

"There is someone else but I have never cheated on you. I've been to the theatre and dinner a few times with a friend of the family but I did not sleep with him. I did not break my vows, I wouldn't do that to you."

I yelled and called her names and told her to go to hell as I walked out the door and got into my truck. I drove around for awhile and went to the bar. I sat there and drank until the bartender said he wouldn't serve me anymore.

I left the bar and got a dumpy motel room and drove to the store and picked up a bottle of whisky. I sat in my room and drank, drowning my sorrows. I passed out and woke up not even knowing what I was doing. I grabbed my truck keys and started driving home. It was then that I drove off the right side of the road hitting a tree.

The next thing I remembered was waking up in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of every orifice. A nurse came in and said, 'You're awake! Just lay still, you were in a car accident. Please lie still, I'll get the doctor."

The doctor came in and told me my daughter was in the waiting room and would be in after he talked to me and examined me. He told me I was in an accident. My alcohol level was very high and that I drove off the road and hit a tree. Luckily I was the only vehicle in the accident. I sustained a broken left leg, fractured two ribs, had a concussion and lots of cuts and scrapes.