Chapter 41: The Best of Friends

January 1982, Chicago, Illinois

Bethany and Gene arrived just before 10:00am on Sunday morning. The apartment was full as both Warren and Stephie had spent the night, and Kurt and Kathy were staying the weekend. The plan was to have a big meal together around 3:00pm so that Gene and Bethany could get back to Madison before 10:00pm.

Bethany was in great spirits and seemed very happy. I hadn’t had much chance to talk to her in the past few weeks because both of us were busy with school, and I had so many other things going on. I still considered her to be my best friend and really missed spending time with her. She and I asked for Gene’s OK to take a walk in the light snow and he smiled and said he didn’t mind at all.

As we walked down the street away from the apartment, Bethany took my hand and we walked around the neighborhood.

“Do you remember that first walk, when I was afraid to even hold your hand?”

“Like it was yesterday, Sweetheart. You’ve come a long way and I’m really happy for you.”

“I’m happy, too,” she said. “I still have those moments when I think about us and wonder what we could have done differently, but not as often as before. I think Gene sees that, and it’s made him more comfortable. He was kind of walking on eggshells about my past. I think you know quite well how that is!”

Bethany smiled and squeezed my hand to emphasize her words.

“I do,” I replied. “But I realize now you never were the fragile girl I thought you were. Yes, you were frightened about intimacy, but you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. I just didn’t realize it back then.”

“You helped me a lot, Steve. More than I can ever repay you for,” she sighed.

“Repay me by living a long, happy life with a bunch of kids and a huge bunch of grandkids.”

“They can still be ours,” she said. “That door isn’t completely closed, you know.”

“What door ever is? Well, aside from when things happen, like with Birgit?”

“None,” she answered softly. Then she smiled and looked up, “I hear from Ed that Stephanie thinks you and Jennifer might be moving slowly towards fixing things.”

“I think my little sister talks too much!” I said in a very annoyed manner.

“So it’s true, then?” Bethany asked gently.

“Only in my little sister’s mind. Jen and I are working on being friends. She and I had a fairly harsh conversation when she was here in January. Her girlfriend was a radical feminist who convinced Jennifer that I was basically a serial rapist.”

“What?! You?! That’s insane! I know I’ve taken you to task about getting proper consent and about coercion, but even cases like Annie aren’t rape! Stupidity, yes. Rape? Not a chance! I hope you managed to set Jennifer straight.”

“I think so. She told me she talked with Jocelyn about it and they had a fight, and Jocelyn broke up with her. I guess Jennifer’s mom took my side, mostly, when they talked about it.”

“You did treat her badly at least part of the time,” Bethany said.

“Oh, don’t I know it!” I replied ruefully. “I’ve made quite a few mistakes. I made them with you, too, Bethany. That’s how we ended up here, walking down Garfield Avenue, holding hands, but both with other people as our partners.”

Bethany stopped and turned to look at me.

“What about Kara? Are you doing the same thing to her?” Bethany asked.

“Oh hell,” I sighed, “who knows? I’m doing the best I can, I guess. She’ll be here in six months and I think everything will sort itself out at that point. I’m ready for her to move in with me and work on our relationship in ways we couldn’t before.”

“What about your Russian friend?” Bethany asked, looking directly into my eyes.

“I’m in love with her,” I admitted. “But she’s in Leningrad finishing whatever it is Russians call High School. Then she’s going to Harvard. I honestly think, and both she and her father agree, that the obstacles between us are so great that it would be nigh on impossible for things to work out. And the only way that they’ll get a chance to work out is if I somehow blow things with Kara. And I am determined NOT to do that, Bethany.”

“And Stephie? She’s clearly in love with you. That seems like a dangerous situation.”

I chuckled, “I was afraid it was, so I confronted her about that. She damn near tore my head off. She told me I was dense for not realizing it and then proceeded to explain that she knew what she was doing, that she wanted to fuck, that I fucked her better than she could ever have imagined, and that she wasn’t going to stalk me or interfere with Kara. She did say that if something happened between me and Kara and I didn’t come to her first, she’d get her dad’s shotgun and blow my balls off.”

Bethany laughed, “Wow! You seem to have a pattern of girls falling in love with you but being willing to just fuck. I know that was true of Jennifer, of me, and even of Kara. Hell, Kathy’s in love with you. She always has been. But that one you knew.”

I sighed, “Yeah, but it’s different with her. I love her dearly and I know she loves me, but we missed our chance back in Junior High and it never really clicked after that.”

“And yet, like me, she’d drop everything if you wanted to marry her.”

“What the hell is it about me that makes so damn many girls want to marry me? I even got that from Tanya, even though she’s pragmatic about it, even more than Joyce is. I am not that good of a catch!”

“Oh yes, you are!” Bethany countered. “I’ve known you longer than pretty much anyone except Melanie, Jennifer, and Stephanie, and I know you better than anyone, except perhaps Stephanie. You’re kind, considerate, and honest; you’re a faithful friend and trustworthy; you cook, do laundry, and share the household tasks without being asked and without complaining; you would die for any of us without even thinking about it, and,” she paused, “you are the most amazing fuck that exists on this or any other planet. Can you really dispute any of that?”

“Of course I can, and you know me well enough to know that I can.”

“No. You’re talking about the ‘Old Steve’ — the one who Joyce described as a ‘shithead’, Katt described in Swedish as a ‘fucking idiot’, Kara described as a ‘jerk’, and Stephanie described as a ‘dumb boy’. That isn’t you anymore. Forget all the Junior High and High School romance stuff. None of us are little girls anymore.”

I smiled, “That’s exactly what Tanya and Stephie said.”

“Kara’s been trying to tell you that for ages. Yes, she’s still in High School but she’s way more mature at this point than any of the rest of us were. Who kept their calm when you were with She Who Must Not Be Named? Who counseled you through that? It sure as heck wasn’t your sister and me! We were ready to cut your dick and balls off and ship them to Jennifer in a jar. Kara dealt with it in a calm, cool, collected manner.

“What I mean by not being little girls is that we aren’t blinded by silly High School crushes or puppy love or the idea of rebelling against our parents by screwing. Elyse told you everything you need to know when she suggested, only half in jest, that you two should get married. Kathy would take that offer in a heartbeat and you know it. And,” she said, placing her finger on her lips, then on mine, “so would I.”

“Bethany...” I sighed. “It’s...”

“Stop,” she interrupted. “I told you I’m no little girl any more. I don’t have a wild-eyed fantasy that when we graduate, you’ll suddenly change course and show up at my door with an engagement ring.” She smiled, “But if you do, I’ll accept it. Even Joyce has outgrown her fantasy. Oh, like me, I’m sure she still holds a glimmer of hope, but Kara pretty effectively put Joyce in her place. And Joyce knew it was coming. She didn’t freak out, did she? She didn’t cry?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“And what did I do? I found Gene. He’s a really nice guy, he’s someone I want to spend a lot of time with, and he cares deeply for me. I don’t know if he’s the right guy for me long-term, but he is exactly what I need right now. Maybe he is the one, maybe he isn’t. It’s the same with Kathy and Kurt, though I think those two may actually be the real thing. For her, all you had to do was show her what it could be like and she went and found it.

“For me, it was different. I needed you, badly. I still need you, but not in a dependent way like in Junior High and High School. The need I have for you now is for you to be my best friend, my pal. Don’t take this the wrong way, but right now, I have no desire to be with you intimately. It wouldn’t be right. It would be glorious, without question, but it wouldn’t be right. If that day ever comes when I think it would be right, and you think it would be right, we’ll fuck each other completely senseless. But not now, and perhaps not ever.

“In a way, it’s like you and your little sister. You two needed each other so much that it ended up in a beautiful, but incestuous, relationship. You don’t need each other that way anymore. Oh, I see you two look at each other and tease each other, but that’s an echo of the past. And it should stay in the past where it belongs. Your future is with Kara. You know it and I know it.

“Yes, Stephie is there and from what I gather, you two are as compatible as you and I were, if you get my drift. And you have this fantasy Russian girl who will probably always be just out of reach. And there’s Karin with whom you’ll need to reach some sort of conclusion. And you and Jennifer will need to figure out what your relationship is. When you do all those things, THEN you can be with Kara forever, which is what I’m sure will happen if you don’t screw it up.

“I don’t think things are going to go as you had planned, probably not even close. With you, it seems they never do. Just be prepared for whatever happens and deal with it calmly. You can do that now. Remember — no drama, no hissy fits, no tantrums and no running off to fuck every girl in sight. Something bad WILL happen between you and Kara. How you react and deal with it will decide what your future ultimately becomes. I know you can handle it and I’ll be there to help you.

“And one last, important thing. If Stephie thinks she’s first in line, if something, God forbid, happens between you and Kara, that little Georgia Peach has a real surprise in store. Sherman marching through Georgia will be nothing compared to me!”

I laughed softly, “Thanks, Bethany, I appreciate everything you said, and I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted.”

“Steve Adams, it could NEVER have worked the way I wanted. It took me a long time to realize that,” she said, fingering her necklace with the purple stone I’d given her. “I wasn’t the right person to help you fix yourself. Neither was Jennifer, nor Melanie, nor Karin, nor even Stephanie. Only two girls could ever do that, and one of them is dead. You, Sir, are the luckiest man alive — you had Birgit and now you have Kara. Yes, Birgit died young, but without her, and then without Kara, where the hell would you be?”

“Not any place good, I suspect. You’re a good friend, Bethany.”

“And you’re a good friend, too, Steve. Now, walk me back before Gene decides I’ve run off with you and starts hitting on your sweet Georgia Peach!”

We both laughed, and I took her hand and we walked back to the apartment. I stopped at the door to ask her something I’d meant to ask before.

“How is Pam doing?”

“A whole lot better than last year. It seems her mom and her boyfriend in Eau Claire had a no-holds barred conversation with her and it worked. From what I can glean from what she said, he flat out told her that if she didn’t stop partying and flunked out of school, they were done for sure, and he’d never, ever, be with her after college. Her mom apparently lowered the boom, too, saying that if she flunked out she’d have thirty days to move out of the house.”

“Wow. That sounds like that stupid movie we saw during Sophomore year — Scared Straight.”

“Oh God, don’t remind me! That was so dumb! But yeah, she has a solid B average, is going to class, has quit drinking, and has one guy she’s hanging out with. She’s like a whole new woman.”

“Good for her. Are you going to keep her as a roommate?”

“I am. Her mom called and asked if I’d do it if Pam straightened up and flew right, and I agreed that I would. Pam would like to see you, by the way. Just as a friend.”

“Maybe Kurt, Kathy, Stephie, and I can come up for the weekend to see you. The eight of us could get together.”

“That sounds like fun! How about the last day of February? That’s a Sunday, so it should work.”

“Check with Kathy and let’s make it happen,” I said.

When we went inside, we kicked off our shoes as I’d adopted the Swedish custom of no shoes in the house, hung up our coats and grabbed mugs of hot chocolate. Bethany immediately went to Gene and sat on his lap and kissed him. She whispered a few words in his ear, and he nodded and smiled. I sat next to Stephie, who scooted as close as possible to me and laid her head on my shoulder.

“So, what’s the plan before lunch,” Elyse asked.

Bethany had an evil smirk, “How about a game of ‘Truth or Dare’?”

“Bethany!” I barked in an attempt to warn her off.

“You’re afraid your little Georgia Peach might find out some things you don’t want her to know?” Elyse giggled.

“I thought YOU were telling her everything, anyway!” I chuckled.

“I was just teasing, Steve,” Elyse replied, “though I suspect there are more secrets in this room than any of us want to reveal. Well, except maybe between you and me, given we know everything about each other.”

Warren looked decidedly uncomfortable. Gene’s face was neutral, but Kurt was smiling.

“As much as I would LOVE to know more about Kathy’s past,” Kurt said with a grin, “the place to do that is in private, not in a game. Let’s do something else, Bethany.”

“Oh, poo!” Bethany exclaimed, mimicking Mary, our friend from Milford.

I laughed hard, as did Kathy, but then Bethany and I had to explain to Elyse, Kurt, Warren, and Gene why it was so funny. We ended up playing a raucous game of Uno where it seemed the couples went out of their way to play their worst cards on each other, rather than on the player on the other side of them.

Around 12:30pm, I got up and went to the kitchen. I was making oven fried chicken and needed quite a bit of prep time to make the batter. Stephie watched in awe as I made everything by hand, including the mashed potatoes by peeling and boiling potatoes rather than using flakes from a box.