Chapter 14: A Southern Belle, a Surprise Proposal, two Cheerleaders, an Old Flame, and a Girl Back Home, Part II

October 1981, Chicago, Illinois

I arrived back at the apartment just before 10:00pm and saw the address for the party. I decided I wasn’t particularly interested in going so I put on some music, poured myself a glass of wine, and started reading more about Russia. I was alternating between the history and culture book and the Communist Party book, decided on the history and culture book for this time. I didn’t get much reading done because I was thinking about Tatyana, which led me to thinking about Stephie. And that made me think about Kara.

I glanced over and noticed the light flashing on the answering machine, which I’d missed when I came in. I got up and pressed play, and immediately blanched.

I sighed. Becky van Hoek was the last thing I needed. Sadly, I knew she probably had my address as well, and because she had her BMW, she might show up unannounced at any time. That was the exact thing that Bethany, Stephanie, and others had been concerned about. I certainly wasn’t going to encourage her by calling her back. I hoped she’d call and not get an answer and give up, but I suspected that at some point, she’d either call and I’d answer, or she’d simply show up at my doorstep.

As I went back to the couch, I noticed an envelope on my desk. There was a note with it that said it had been in the mailbox. I realized it was from Theo and took it to my room. I quickly checked to make sure there weren’t any instructions or requests and then put the cash into my lockbox. As I walked back to the living room I realized I hadn’t updated my journal in over a week, so I fired up my Apple II and typed in several pages worth of text.

I decided that rather than read my book, I’d read some of my old journal entries. When I did that, I was appalled. I hadn’t gone back and read some of the stuff I’d written when I was fourteen in quite some time. And I realized that what Jennifer had told me had been the unvarnished truth — that I was a needy, whiney, angst-ridden, drama-filled, self-centered prick. It was kind of sickening, really.

I paged through, looking at what I’d written about significant events, such as Birgit’s death, Becky’s pregnancy, making love with Jennifer for the first time, Melanie’s suicide attempt, and many others. It seemed that it was, in the end, so much drivel. I was tempted to simply toss it all, but I realized that it did have value. This was where I had come from. And the change was startling. I was, as it were, a whole new man.

I read more snippets here and there, looking for the change. I found it started in January when I’d made love with Kara and by the time Stephanie and I had made love that last night in Chicago, the transformation was complete. I liked most of what I read from January on. Kara had been good for me, as the girls closest to me had suggested. And so had Stephanie. I hadn’t had a dramatic incident in nearly ten months and I was dealing with life in a much more mature manner.

I wasn’t the same person. Then again, neither were many of my friends. Jennifer, having bottomed out, was recreating herself from scratch. The same was true for Melanie, Bethany, and, because I was trying to be honest, for me as well. A verse from the Scriptures came to mind.

And that explained why things were the way they were. Bethany and I had both grown up to a point where we didn’t need each other as we had in the past. Jennifer and I had grown up and grown apart. Two girls who had, at one point or another, been primary in my life had been replaced by others. The same was true for Birgit, though that had been a death, not a growing up or growing apart.

I heard a key in the lock and closed my journal as Elyse walked in.

“Hi, Honey! Whatcha doing?”

“Reminiscing. I was just reading my journal. Some stuff I wrote years ago.”

“Think I could see it? Or does it have too much private stuff in it?”

I thought about that. I wondered if it would be a good idea to let Elyse read it. My instant reaction was that it was a bad idea, so I went with that. I could always change my mind.

“There’s probably too much private stuff in there. It’s probably not a good idea.”

“OK. I’m going to make some lemon tea. Do you want some?”

“Sure. How was the party?”

“Pretty good. You should have come by. Lots of UofC students. How was your date?”

“We had a good time. She and I are kind of in the same boat. She has a guy back in Georgia who’s a Baptist.”

Elyse laughed, “So you two can commiserate about your crazy religious boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“We did talk about them, but it wasn’t commiserating. And what the heck do I have to complain about with Kara? The problem is her dad, not her. Sure, we have some issues to sort out with regard to religion, but I have zero complaints about her. And Peaches didn’t really complain about Daryl.”

“Peaches?” Elyse asked with an arched eyebrow.

“She started calling me Yankee, which I don’t like. So I found a nickname she doesn’t like. Georgia Peach? Well, she’s Peaches.”

“Cute. You don’t have a nickname for me, do you?”

“I guess not. You call me ‘Honey’, but that’s more like a silly thing you say kind of like we’re playing house.”

“Playing? I’d say we’re way past playing Steve. This is what being married is going to be like. Well, without my husband having girls on the side!” she giggled.

“It is, isn’t it? And you know what? I really like it. What about you?”

“I do. I wondered what it would be like, and it’s pretty awesome, actually. Now, I just need to find a guy like you who cooks, cleans, shops, and all that other stuff. Or maybe I’ll just cut in line and we just make this permanent. It is working pretty well, you know.”

She floored me with that comment. I stood there and just stared at her, my mouth hanging open. I didn’t know what to say.

“Say something, Steve,” she said with a smile.

“I don’t know what to say. That was kind of out of the blue!”

“No, I don’t think so! You fell in love with me about a month ago, though not so hard as you fell for Kara.”

“How the heck do you know that?” I asked, because I couldn’t deny it.

“Little things,” she shrugged, smiling. “A word here, a touch there; as I said, little things.”

I stood silently because I didn’t know what to say.

“So?” she continued with a smile, “how about it?”

“Are you serious? Or are you pulling my leg?”

“What if I’m serious?”

“Then we have a lot to talk about! I totally wasn’t expecting something like this! And talk about complicating things! You might see it as simple, but it’s complicated as hell for me.”

“Answer me truthfully Steve, what have the last ten weeks been like for you?”

“Calm, peaceful, and productive.”

“Have you been happy?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sexually satisfied?”

“That can’t even remotely be questioned,” I chuckled.

“Then you’ve just answered your own question.”

“Then you answer me truthfully, are you really serious about this?”

She sighed, “I don’t know. It kind of just slipped out, really.”

“Do you really think that getting married is something we should do on the spur-of-the-moment?”

“Probably not,” she paused with another sigh, “But now what? I think I just changed our relationship without meaning to.”

“Did you?” I said gently, “Or did you just acknowledge something that would be a logical step for two people living together, even though your suggested way forward wasn’t what we had planned?”

“I suppose I didn’t really change anything, except to acknowledge it. And I think it’s better to have it out in the open.”

“I think so, too. We probably need to talk more about this. It’s kind of late and Kathy will be here in the morning. How about we plan to talk on Sunday after she leaves? That will give us both some time to think. Do you want to sleep in your own bed tonight? It won’t bother me if you do because you feel uncomfortable sleeping with me now.”

Elyse smiled, “Actually, what I want right now is for you to make love to me and to fall asleep in your arms.”

I led her down the hall to my room. We quickly undressed and slipped naked under the comforter and made love then fell asleep spooned together. In the morning, we made love before I went out to run and then again after breakfast. I changed the sheets, started the laundry and then went to meet Kathy at the train. We walked back to the apartment, I changed for my karate class and we walked together to the dojo. When I finished, we went back to the apartment, I showered and then we had lunch with Elyse.

“I’m going out for the afternoon,” Elyse said. “I need to spend some time at the library.”

“Will you be home for dinner?”

“Yeah, I won’t be more than a few hours. Just some research for a paper I have to write for Macro.”

She kissed me on the cheek and headed out the door. Kathy and I cleaned up and then went to sit on the couch with tea.

“How are things with Kurt?” I asked.

Kathy blushed, “We had a nice date last night.”

“Kathy, you’re blushing,” I grinned. “What happened?”

She smiled, “I had my first orgasm with someone other than you!”

“Not to pry, but from intercourse?”

“No, his fingers. I’m not quite ready to sleep with him, but we were making out pretty heavily and I let him slip his hand in my sweatpants. He was so gentle, but boy did he know right where to touch me!” she giggled.

“So it’s getting serious?”

“Maybe. I’m concerned about you, though. I promised Bethany to take care of you.”

“And you can’t do that if you’re with Kurt? You can’t still be my friend?”

“Of course, but I don’t think Kurt would understand if we’re sleeping together.”

“Kathy, I’ll be fine. Trust me. Kara and I are allowed date again and I’m going home next weekend.”

“What happened?”

“When I took Kara home, her mom basically put her foot down and told Kara’s dad that Kara and I were allowed to see each other. So, when I go home on Friday after my last class, I can see her.”

“That’s great. Does that mean you don’t need me? I mean, like Bethany thought?”

“Have you spoken with Bethany lately?”

“Yes, just the other day. I guess she and Gene are getting serious.”

“Exactly. So she doesn’t need you to watch over me in the same way, if you know what I mean.”

“I do. It’s kind of sad, because I did hold out hope for you two in the long run; but really, we all agree Kara is really the girl for you.”

“Thanks. And you and I realized long ago that we’re lovers, not long-term partners. We had that chance back in seventh and eighth grades and blew it. So, please, if Kurt makes you happy, go and be with him!”

“He does. I guess that means this is our last weekend together this way.”

“Most likely. Just like when I was with Bethany a month ago it was most likely our last time. Things change and we all move on. I’ll miss that shocking red hair, though!”

“You always did like that! Want to check it out now?” Kathy smirked.

“I do, but I need to talk to you about something else. I need some advice.”

“I’ll do my best. What do you need advice on?”

“Elyse. She made an offhanded comment about us getting married.”

“What?!” Kathy gasped. “But you two are just friends!”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

“You two? I had no idea! Since when?” Kathy asked, though she seemed amazingly calm at the revelation.

“Since the first night she was here. She decided that it was going to happen eventually, so she wanted to just ‘get it out of the way’, so to speak. We’d made love once before, at the wedding of a mutual friend a couple of years ago.”

“And now that you two have been living together, basically as if you were married, she suggested you actually get married.”

“Yes,” I answered. “It just kind of came out when we were talking last night. I think she’s really thinking that it’s an option for her. In fact, I’m basically positive she sees it as a real option.”

“Do you love her? I mean really love her?”

“Not the way I love Kara, or the way I loved Birgit.”

“Do you think she loves you that much? Or is she just comfortable with the situation? I can see how living here with you, sleeping with you regularly, if that’s what you’re doing, cooking, cleaning, and all that kind of stuff could make her think about being married to you. If you make her feel anything like you’ve always made me feel, that’s probably part of it as well. And, finally, you never just have sex, Steve. If you’ve been making love to her, that will draw her as well. The way you pour yourself heart and soul into it is really intoxicating.”

“That makes some sense. Melanie and I fell into that trap long ago and she still hasn’t pulled herself completely out of it, despite being engaged to Pete. I guess that’s why I need your advice.”

“It’s a tough situation. I assume you want to keep her as a roommate?”

“I do. But I wonder if that’s even possible now, at least after this year. If Kara comes to live here, it might be awkward.”

“Does Kara know about you and Elyse?”

“Yes. I had to tell her because I had made a point of telling her that it most likely wasn’t going to happen. But you have to keep this quiet. Elyse was concerned about the fallout if Kara does come to live here.”

“I guess, then, it really depends on Kara and Elyse. I know you well enough that you’ll be able to handle it, especially now after you’ve become much more mature and a lot calmer. In all honesty, I could see myself in the same situation. Think about it. We’re great friends, we care about each other, and we’re sexually compatible. If I was living here with you, I’d have the same idea. And you know what? It could work. That’s what Elyse is seeing.

“Sure, we all want the kind of love you and Birgit had, but what I want is someone I can trust to take care of me, to be there for me, to be a friend and companion. Someone who can be a good father to my kids. Being a very skilled lover is a bonus. So, to be frank, if you asked me to marry you right now, I’d probably say yes. In fact, I know I would. You have at least 6 girls who would marry you if you asked right now — me, Elyse, Bethany, Kara, Joyce, and Karin. I think that even Jennifer would as well, if you were to ask her. Of those girls, only Kara, Bethany, and Karin love you in a serious romantic way.

“So, the question you have to ask yourself,” she concluded, “is what do you want? And are you really ready to make a lifelong commitment to anyone? Or, do you need more time to figure things out? I’d say, at a minimum, you need to see Karin again before you do anything, even with Kara.”

“I agree with you on that. And that’s at least part of my answer for Elyse. I’m just not sure she’ll be able to handle Kara living here.”

“Ask her. See what she says. You’re pretty good at reading people and being in tune with their feelings.”

Just then, the phone rang and I sighed audibly.

“What’s wrong?”

“That might be Becky. She tracked me down. Let me answer it.”

I picked up the phone and was relieved to hear Bethany’s voice on the other end of the line.