Chapter 4

Not what you think

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again ... back and forth ... back and forth ... in and out ... in and out.

She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end.

Her heart was pounding ... her face was flushed ... then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,

"OK, OK! I can't park the fucking car!

You do it, you smug bastard!

You are driving down the road in your Corvette on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS...

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.'

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.'

HOWEVER... , The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because Obama's health care won't pay for her hospital visit anyway, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

God, I just love happy endings

40 years of marriage...

A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their

40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.??

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'??

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment:

'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'??

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.!

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... ??

The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story:

Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female...

Chapter 5 »