Chapter 18

That was how it went on for a while. She spent every second night in Alexa's and every second night in my bed, and she sure wore me out those nights. She met the lawyer several times in order to make sure that everything would be okay for Alexa. I had a short meeting with her, during which I informed her where the trust fund for her was, and how much it would be. She was a professional and did not ask any more questions. I didn't know and I did not want to know, what Manuela had told her.

Manuela lived for six more weeks, and only the last week was really bad. I probably should have been grateful because of that, but I just could not really see much reason to be. I kept my promise, though, and I was there for Alexa. She had it quite bad. As her newly appointed legal guardian, I sort of had to. I did not know how Manuela and her lawyer had arranged that, but I had agreed and I intended to keep the promise I had made. Emotionally, I was as empty. I had decided that would never again put myself in that kind of situation.

I was there beside Alexa all the time through the funeral, and also in the following meeting with her lawyer. I had paid the lawyer, and made sure to her that it would be her job to make sure that Alexa would be well taken care of, whatever would happen. I noticed the look she gave me when that agreement was made, and I decided to make things clear.

"I understand the worry you may have. I gave my promise to dying woman and I have absolutely no intention of breaking it. I don't know how much Manuela told you about my past, or our history together, but there are reasons behind my actions."

She did not look fully satisfied, but like a good lawyer, she accepted the situation as it was.

A week after Manuela's death I surprised Alexa by waking her early Monday morning, and informing that her school was about to start. She probably still felt miserable ... and she looked miserable ... but I did not give up.

"Listen up, young lady. You have had time to do your mourning but the sad truth is that you do have a whole lot to do, if you intend to take part in the Junior class after Christmas. You need to have a chance to be a normal teenager, and start a normal life. That's a promise I made."

She cried and whined, but I just informed her that if she wanted to have breakfast before we started, she should be getting up soon.

Teaching her high school stuff and restarting driving lessons filled following weeks. Despite - or maybe because of our one single sexual encounter - I tried to make sure that we did not have any compromising situations. This probably was a good thing, as Social Services visited us twice in less than two weeks. They kept asking questions, trying to find something that would prove me unsuitable for guarding a sixteen year old girl. After their second visit, I'd had enough, and called Alexa's lawyer. I asked her if she could do something about it.

Gradually things seemed to get better for Alexa. She was smart. Her English got better day by day, and she had no problems with Maths. She was not that much thrilled with Chemistry and Physics, but in the rest of subjects she could have quite easily tested out. During our driving lessons, I talked to her about the social life in a typical high school. As she was a pretty girl she should be prepared to handle the attention she probably would be getting. I had also decided that I would sign her up for some martial arts classes.

We used my study as classroom. I had to admit that I learned to like the lessons I was giving her, as they gave something to think about, and filled my days. It was the nights I feared.

One morning I was a bit late when I entered the study. I stopped cold when I saw Alexa there with an open manilla envelope - and my gun - on the desk. The gun I had purchased soon after we had moved, and had almost forgotten it. But, she should not have found that envelope.

"Joel, what does all this shit mean?"

Oh, God, she was pissed off! Well, if she had read what was in there, she had a good reason to be.

"I made a promise to take care of you. Those are some copies of the files that should ensure it."

"So, I will have all that shitload of money once you have killed yourself, right?"

"I know it may look like it but..."

"Bullshit, with all this it is clear that you have planned to leave me here all alone. Don't you understand that I do not want any of your fucking money?"

Now she was using the gun for pointing the papers. Shit! I couldn't remember whether it was loaded or not.

"Alex, honey. Please put that gun away."

"So? Now I'm 'honey' to you? I know now that you think I'm all dirty, and that thing you did to me was just an act."

She was crying, now, and still wiggling the gun.

"No, it just is not like that. As your guardian I just cannot..."

"Bullshit! Don't you think that I don't know that. Why can't you just admit that you detest me so much that you would rather kill yourself than be with me?"

"No, Alex. You don't understand..."

I took a step forward, and there was a bright flash, and a terrified look on Alexa's face. Just before darkness came, I felt a sense of relief. Never again. Never again would I need to face the loss of my loved ones.

My head hurt like hell, and I kept hearing some weird noise. I tried to move my hand and the noise changed somewhat. I considered opening my eyes, but the headache was almost too much. I forced my eyes open, and then I understood that my head was resting in Alexa's lap. Just when I was about to speak, it came back to me. She had shot me ... apparently, to my head. Before I could form any other sensible thought I heard her speak.

"Please wake up. Don't die! Don't die! Don't die! I love you!"

If she loved me why had she then shot me? And then slowly I remembered our discussion. I forced my eyes open and moved my hand.

"Alex, I don't think I'm going to die."