At Sweet Sixteen, Linda had never been kissed, at least not THAT WAY. By the time she got to be Sweet Thirty-Two, things were unfortunately still the same. But like everyone else, even those who have taken vows of celibacy, she found the traditional way to keep her sanity, until ... until...
AUTHOR'S NOTE: In the grand scheme of things, no matter what you feel in the matter of religion or the absence thereof, it is imperative that every living thing, animal or vegetable, have a method of reproduction, in order to continue the species. Be it an amoeba splitting itself into two amoebae, a female turtle burying her eggs in moist sand and hoping that some horny male turtle will come along to fertilize them, or a male and female fornicating with each other to screaming orgasms, if they are human at least, there must be a way, or the species will die out.
For most of us, belonging to the group known as human beings, or homo sapiens, we are most familiar with the last of those examples. You know what I mean; egg, cunt, sperm, cock, opportunity, timing, maybe a little kiss, with or without tongue. But you also know that the interlocking of cock and cunt is not always done for reproductive purposes. In many if not most situations, that interlocking is merely done for the physical and perhaps mental pleasure – or power trip - of one or both of those parties. Getting off, they may call it.
In fact, among human beings at least, if it were not for the pleasure expected to be received, neither gender would (voluntarily) fuck, and humanity would disappear more quickly than dinosaurs under the flaming meteor of long ago. Well, that's not technically true, but you get the idea.
So the system, whether you call it God or Mother Nature or Higher Power or something else, with or without Evolution (this is not the place to argue that issue) has determined that the reproductive act should be pleasurable. From talking to various acquaintances, of both genders, it would seem that more males than females seek that pleasure, and certainly more often. However, females by biology cannot contribute to the reproduction process other than at limited times, but men are still able to enjoy the act full time – except of course for the time he takes to piss and the wait for his balls to fill up again. Alas, our grandmothers still think that sex is only for making babies. Males of course, depending on age, are ready, willing and able 24/7.
Where is this going? The problem is that male and female sometimes do not have the company of those members of the other gender when they crave the pleasure of release, of orgasm. I'm told of a Biblical man named Onan, who was reported, in negative terms, to have 'spilled his seed on the ground'. The poor man had blue balls but no access to the cunt, mouth, ass, even the hand of a woman (or man) and therefore had to rely upon (choose one) whack off, jerk off, jill off, spank his monkey, choke his chicken, wank (for those of you across the pond), use his palm and five sisters, etc. And thus the act of masturbation came down through the centuries as a no-no. In the same context, women back then had the same urges, and though often restrained by their mothers – and grandmothers -, also needed to get off, and could not find a man at that moment to help her. So she too had to resort to what the attorneys among us refer to as 'self help'.
Finally we come to the story as told by Linda.
Voulez-vous couche avec mo ice soir? I hope I got that French quote right, but in any event the answer is, you bet your ass that I'd love to go to bed with you.
My mother taught me that little girls are sometimes named Linda because that word in Spanish means something like pretty. I don't know; my parents are Belgian and my High School language was French, not Spanish. Anyway, Mother must have been trying to make me feel better, because my face is simply not pretty. Don't get me wrong. I'd call my face OK, not scary, but not pretty either. I don't frighten little children or go Trick or Treating without a mask, but neither do I receive job offers to model lipstick or face powder. Nor crotch-less panties or open nipple bras, nor thong bathing suits. Nor are my name and phone number scrawled on sundry lavatory walls – I hope.
A medical report might refer to me as 'well nourished' but I'm not fat as that expression sounds. Five foot two, one hundred forty-five pounds, I should spend a few dollars on dieting, but fuck it. My tits are 36D. Already thirty-two years of age, I've never been kissed, never had my pussy licked nor even felt up but I've seen eyes focused on my fleshy tatas often enough. They are definitely my best feature. The only cocks I've ever seen have been on my computer screen. Dammit, I have never tasted cum, nor felt it sloshing around in my pussy, much as I'd love to.
It's not as though I have no friends. As a teacher, I spent enough time in the Teachers' Lounge shooting the breeze with both men and women, drinking awful coffee, bitching about those little bastards they called students. The male students feasted their fantasies on my jugs, sometimes their fathers did also, but the latter never made a move on me. Likewise with the male teachers in school. I was invited to all the faculty picnics, rolling and giggling as we lay puffing on the ground after a lost co-ed three-legged race, but none of the men ever tried to get a quick feel. I danced with some of the stag men at faculty weddings, but always chastely, our chests never touching.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, I resigned myself to dying a virgin (masturbation doesn't count, even with a cucumber) but I hated the idea of never having been asked out on a date. Whenever I slid a fresh tampon inside me, I wanted to cry, and I sometimes (read 'often') did so.
I was the first, last and only child of my parents, who themselves were without siblings. Thus, they were my closest – and only – relatives.
When I say closest, I mean whatever distance is the non-stop flight from Atlanta, where I live and teach, and Houston, where they have lived forever. I support them but only slightly, as the two of them are able to eke through with Social Security and minimal pensions. Though I rarely see them, we speak often, especially Mom and I. When I bitch about my celibacy, she consoles me with talk about meeting 'the right man'. "Fuck that", I say, shocking her with language I never used at home, "I'll settle for anyone with a cock." She gasps but says nothing. I think that when we hang up, she cries for me.
Alas, life goes on. To school and back home on the MARTA (Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority) at almost rush hours, I wait for some sleezeball to grope me but it never happens.
My most exciting hours are spent in front of my television screen, fed wirelessly from my laptop, from the end of the school day up through bedtime, except for dinner and marking papers. I'm a paid-up member to four porn channels. I close the blinds, but I doubt that anyone could see in anyway. I get down to bare skin and pull on a robe, the weight depending on how cold the landlord feels. Ass on the couch, feet up on the table, a single glass of white wine which I nurse all evening, it's time to pleasure my clit.
All four channels are the same. For the most part, they show snippets of hard core videos, ranging in length from 30 seconds to 5 minutes. Then you get the message that only paid-up members get the rest, and all one would need would be a valid credit card or bank account. As one of those, all I need do now is to enter my signup name (PlainJane) and my password (Wetcunt4you) and I automatically get the entire video.
By the way, folks, don't bother to try that name or password. They may accidentally belong to someone else, but definitely not to me.
I usually start by looking for a straight man-woman fuck. Most of the women have fully shaven pussies (mine has jet black hair) but that doesn't matter. I want to see that fully erect cock. In her mouth or in her cunt, or even giving it to her up the ass, it doesn't matter. As long as I get to see a money shot, his cum splashing somewhere over her body, I'm happy. So are my fingers, which have been exploring my insides as I watched, bringing up the raunchiest of aromas.
One particular evening, I was sitting on the MARTA just opposite a tall, muscular black man, probably about eighteen. My pussy began to drool as I imagined a full nine inch monster under his tight jeans. I guessed at the length, my awareness of cock sizes limited to estimates based on what I saw on one or another of my favorite websites.
As soon as I was ready, after dinner, I fired up laptop and television and went exploring. That night, I needed a nine-incher to stimulate my libido. I skimmed the thumbnails quickly, looking for a picture or at least words that suggested something I required to bring on my first orgasm of the evening.
The man was already naked, black skin glistening as he walked into what looked like a living room. The girl, white and likewise naked, was sitting sideways on a couch. She was resting against the sidearm of the couch. Her knees were up and spread, open to the camera aimed at her bald crotch and to her invitingly busy fingers, exploring. A television set was on, facing the couch, but the screen was out of focus, though one could see that she was surely watching and listening to some sort of pornography.
The man's cock was fully erect, and it looked to be as large or larger that the cock I had envisioned on my ride home. She smiled at his face and then her eyes dropped down to his tube steak. She licked her lips and removed her fingers from her pussy, motioning for him to come to her. Hah, as if anyone had any doubts about where that cock was headed.
She reached out, slid her fingers under his sac and pulled him – gently – toward her face by his balls. Her tongue flicked forward to wipe away the little white droplet of precum, and then made a quick swish around his circumcised crown. His hand reached to her cheeks and suddenly they pressed inward, forcing her mouth to open. At the same time, he pressed his cock forward into her mouth. The backward bounce of her head told me that he had hit the back of her throat. Her eyes flew open in shock, but then the corners of her mouth lifted to a smile position. Her lips closed around the black organ. Her hand grasped the cock as she slowly masturbated it into her mouth. Her eyes looked upward toward his face, seeking some sign of approval of her ministrations. She got it in the form of his closed eyelids and the soft touch of his hand on the back of her head.
I wanted to wait for his orgasm, to join him as he exploded his cum wherever and whenever he decided to let it go. So I limited by self pleasure by using two fingers to explore myself, totally ignoring my clit for the time being. I recognized his face from other videos and knew that he could stretch out an orgasm for quite a while. It felt like an hour while he fucked her mouth, though it was probably no more than five or seven minutes before he pulled out.
Then I expected him to grab his meat and jerk off, spewing his gift of sperm all over her face, hair, eyes. But the Director – why did they ever need a Director to tell two porn stars how to fuck? – told the Cameraman – or woman – to move the lens down to her gaping and soaking pink labia. The picture was momentarily covered as the hero's tool moved from her mouth to her cunt. The camera moved to between the two stars, shooting from above as his ebony monster slid inside her pink slit and began to thrust.
Knowing that his press releases bragged that he never let himself orgasm until the woman had done so, I began to silently curse the white woman under his body. "Cum, bitch, come on, I need it." At the same time, having great faith in my ability to command characters in a video to act as I demanded, my fingers began to address my clit. And when my speakers started to offer feminine moaning, and the screen showed hard thrusting, I knew we were close.
Finally it happened. He pulled out with a groan and grabbed his cock, jerking off wildly. My hand went crazy in my cunt as the other began to pinch my nipples. And we were happy.
Gallons – of course I exaggerate – of creamy semen, full of soon to be dead sperm cells, went flying all over her pussy, her stomach, her tits as his balls emptied themselves. And I screamed my orgasm as my cunt began to squirt.
Oh shit, oh shit, why did I have no man to delight with my squirting all over his face as he ate me? Shit, it just wasn't fair.
Two evenings later – sometimes I just use my vibrator and go to sleep early – I opened my laptop, filled my wine glass and readied myself for some hot masturbation. I chose Groups, figuring I would get some threesome. I was prepared to settle for two women and one man, though my fantasy for cum preferred two men and one woman. Would you believe it? I found a gang bang deluxe, one woman taking on four men at once.
The opening scenes and narration made it clear that she was a somewhat over the hill whore hired to entertain four young studs as part of a bachelor party. I could tell her status by the lines on her face, the almost invisible needle marks on her arms and the awful sag of her tits, as in the old insult, she buys her bras in size 36 Long!
The groom-to-be of course got first dibs on the guest of honor. To my amazement, he began the proceedings by putting his mouth on her cunt and tongue-fucking her. I mean, I couldn't believe any intelligent male would go down on a skank like her. But maybe I'm just assuming things. Maybe she had been cosmetically made up to look like a skank, and underneath she was a beautiful woman. Then again I saw two possible explanations. First, I didn't know how they could fake such sagging tits, and second, I couldn't imagine porn producers spending money on cosmetics when the sole purpose of the video is to help people masturbate, and ugly doesn't matter. Fuck it; stop thinking so much, Linda.
When, like a good whore, she finally faked an orgasm, he moved his mouth away and knee-walked up her torso, settling himself between her tits and her chin. From that angle, it was easy for him to fuck her mouth, and her lips grasped his meat hungrily. For the moment, she diddled his balls with two fingers, using a third to search for his prostate.
The best man was next in line, moving between the 'entertainer's legs' – hey, I like that expression – to penetrate her soaking box. Eight inches of manhood disappeared instantly, seven of which reappeared just as quickly as he fucked her as though uncontrollably.
The two remaining ushers – I guess the group didn't have enough money to pay the whore for the entire wedding party – stood on either side, lazily jerking off, or at least trying to stay hard until it was their turn. But our guest had a mind of her own as she pushed the two jerking hands away from their respective cocks, replacing them with her own ten fingers.
My fingers flew as they threatened to accomplish their role before I was ready. I held back, with enough experience watching porn to know that all four men would cum almost simultaneously, a multiple money shot. If I controlled my clit properly, I would be able to join them in my own sexual release.
In the background I heard a soft feminine voice, probably the director, possibly the producer or camera operator. She said "five" with a question mark in her tone. Each of the four men silently, barely perceptively, nodded. The whore's ministrations, er, jerking off, of the two ushers sped up, as did the hips of the groom and the best man as their cocks filled mouth and cunt. (No one cared if the whore would orgasm or not. She had no sperm to excite and please the viewers.)
The countdown continued, the female voice increasing with each number, becoming a yell after she followed the "one" with "NOW". I would have thought that her instructions would have been edited out before release of the video, but who am I to decide?
The groom pulled out of her mouth, grabbed his shaft and aimed her sperm at the whore's nose, her eyes, her streetwalker blonde hair. The best man likewise pulled out and aimed his gushing cream at her belly and at the insides of her thighs. She held on to the shafts of the two remaining men, aiming their cum at each of her breasts. When each set of balls was empty, she sucked each crown briefly, getting the last dregs of each spurt. As my orgasm exploded under my fingers, the whore spoke for the first time.
"OK, boys, time to clean me up."
Alas, alas, if she had only been able to say, "OK, Linda, time to clean me up."
But the boys did as ordered, each one's creamy, ivory toned evidence of lust quickly disappeared under the tongues of the respective donors.
I didn't wait to see the rest of the video. Exhaustion collapsed me and I was asleep in moments.
Most weekends I didn't bother to watch any videos. Instead, I chose to make the bar and club circuit, trying to pick up someone, anyone, with a cock. I drank, I flirted, I over tipped the bartenders for help. 'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.'
There's a corollary to that quotation.
'Then give up, stupid, it's hopeless.'
Which I finally realized every weekend, dragging my ass back to my apartment for a little vibrator relief, only to try again the next weekend.
One night I decided to try a gay video. What the heck, if guys get turned on by two women munching each other's carpeting, maybe I would be able to get off watching two guys fuck each other.
No matter if the cock is white or black, or the cunt either, or threesomes or foursomes, I scream and my pussy soaks the bathrobe. Sometimes, I switch to girl on girl. Yes, I enjoy the sight of two of my sisters munching on each other, kissing, sucking tit, licking asses while they moan. It makes it easier to understand why a man's greatest thrill is watching two women do each other.
But my own greatest excitement, reserved for those evenings when I just can't make myself cum, is to find two gay white guys, college age and handsome, one with a cherry ass, taking turns in a two hour video. With the sound on, I can hear the seduction as the one with the experience swears to the virgin that 'it won't hurt, I'll go slow.' Then he pumps hard, groaning as he spurts his cum over the other one's ass cheeks and then shoves his shiny and slimy cock down the neophytes gullet.
And if for some reason that doesn't work for me, there's always Plan C, which is my great friend Mr. Buzz and his fully charged battery, guaranteed to put me quickly to sleep.
The problem is that I have no one with whom to share my sexual release, or even to keep me warm during the night. And no, I have no interest in keeping a dog or a cat; they would come and go from my bed whenever they pleased. And the idea of being fucked by any animal is a no-go.
Click, click, click. I found a young couple of guys, but one was not white. Fuck it; the black ones have larger cocks anyway. I've always wondered why that was, like the appearance of the eyes in Asians, but it really doesn't matter. Anyway, I didn't know if one of the men had a cherry asshole, but that didn't matter either.
The scene was set in a locker room, with the two young men entering, dropping their tennis rackets on a long bench and casually stripping for the showers. They were alone. The camera was to the side of them, and showed the white guy's eyes lowering to the black one's groin, his cock still flaccid ... I saw the smile on the black man's face. He spoke.
"You like?" he asked. As he spoke, he wrapped his hand around the shaft of his man-meat and shook it. It was visibly filling with blood.
Whitey began to turn red. His rod was instantly erect. Through my speakers I could hear his shallow breathing. His nod was almost imperceptible. Oh yes, he did like what he was seeing. Blackie's hands reached out and pulled whitey to him. They kissed as lovers, tongues dueling.
The sight of two men kissing always got me hot. And wet. Oh how I wished that one of them was kissing me instead. Oh shit, what was wrong with me? Why had I never been able to attract a man? They stared at my tits but that was as far as any had chosen to go. My fingers slid between my labia; my thumb flicked my clit.
Black man led white man to the bench and sat him down. Then he turned him sideways so that one leg was on each side of the bench. Gently he guided whitey down onto his back and stepped over the bench, facing him. White man began to jerk off, in the slow patient style of a gang bang, waiting for those ahead of him to clear out from one of the woman's holes. Black man pulled whitey's hand off whitey's cock and took it into his own hands. He bent and took his friend's balls into his mouth.
"Ever have your cock sucked?"
"Never by a man" was the reply, as whitey gasped it out.
Such bullshit acting. I'd seen both of them a number of times, doing each other and doing other men. I never bothered to read the credits, to learn their names. But how can I criticize? They're doing all that stuff just to encourage me and all the other viewers to play with ourselves. Truth be told, I'd prefer the black cock fucking me, but I'd settle for a white one if only I could get it.
Black swallowed white's cock in one gulp and rapidly began to fellate him. Hey, ignore that word; it's just so prissy, used only in so-called polite company. What I really mean is that he sucked white's cock like a maniac. And white could do nothing about it – not that he was complaining – because black had him pinned to the locker room bench. All white could do was to hold the back of his friend's head hard against his groin.
I had to give it to white. If someone was eating me out that hard, I would have cum in ten seconds. But white held out for at least fifteen minutes. Although actually, since there were a number of camera angle changes, so the two of them might have been able to relax in between angles so that they could prolong the scene. Anyway, I finally saw black grab white's balls and squeeze them. Whitey grunted. Black took his mouth off the other's cock and began to jack it. a full load of creamy fuck sauce spurted upward, creating a fine sheen on the ebony skin and then dripped down onto white's curly pubic hair.
I watched as the smile of satisfaction, of release, spread across white's face. His gasping of ejaculation slowly came, matching the escape of erectile blood from his cock. Black bent forward and licked the last little pooling of cum from white's piss slit. After a few meaningless words passed between them, black stood up.
"Turn over," he said sharply.