Chapter 5

I sat at my computer a while longer, mindlessly surfing a few of my favorite sites, trying to put Bill's memo and my conversation with Susan behind me. It was just the latest in a long string of Beth's antics, and this time I was the one who'd gotten stung.

A quick glance at the corner of my screen told me the time was nearly five. I could suggest Mike and I go out to dinner, but I really didn't feel like going anywhere,.

I shut down and headed for the kitchen, where I took out my anger on a couple of chicken breasts and an array of vegetables. By the time Mike joined me, I'd started a pot of rice and had the wok heating. "Hope you like stir-fry," I told him with a grin.

He shot me an answering grin. "Love it. You're a pretty good cook yourself, you know."

I shrugged the compliment off, though I was delighted by it. "Years of practice." I dumped the veggies into the wok and glanced over my shoulder at him. "Ready for your interview tomorrow?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." He stared at the vegetables as I stirred them, as if he were hoping to find enlightenment in the patterns they made.

I pulled out the veggies and added a little more oil. "You'll do fine."

Mike laughed. "Probably." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him shrug. "I usually do well at interviews. It's the anticipation that kills me."

I gave him a saucy wink and tipped the meat into the hot oil. "Maybe I can help distract you."

He chuckled. "Bet you can."

I nodded, watching the meat change color.

Mike put a hand on my shoulder. "You okay, Lynne?" He licked his lips. "It's not this, is it? Us, I mean?"

"No!" I was so startled I forgot to watch the meat, and almost let it scorch. Was Mike a little less secure about our holiday arrangement than he'd been letting on? Hastily, I herded the chicken up the sides of the pan and poured the sauce into the center. "It's nothing to do with you! You're wonderful!" I sighed. "It's work."

"Thought you were off for the week."

"Mostly." The sauce thickened and bubbled, and I stirred the chicken in to coat it. Mike handed me the bowl of veggies as I turned to reach for it, and I dumped those in as well, still stirring, and turned off the burner. "I should've known better than to check my email."

Over dinner, I summarized the situation. "And of course," I finished as I chased the last bean sprout around the bottom of my bowl, "there's nothing I can do about it without looking bitter or like a bad team member. And I'm tied in knots wondering what she'll set her sights on next."

Mike nodded sympathetically. "That's a rough position to be in." He gave me a rueful smile. "Wish I could do more to help."

I touched his hand. "You do a lot, just by being here."

He turned his hand over and squeezed my fingers. "Then I'm glad." He picked up the bowls. "Want me to do the dishes?"

I considered. "I don't really want to be alone with my thoughts right now. How about if we do them together, and then do something fun?"

When the last dish was dried and put away and the sinks drained, Mike and I went for a walk through the neighborhood. I hadn't thought there was much to see, but I found myself pointing out familiar landmarks, like the section of sidewalk where Jenny had first mastered skipping, or the building where Jeff's best friend in third grade had lived.

We lingered on the sidewalk beside a playground, its swings and slides quiescent now with all the kids at home in front of TVs or tucked into bed. "I used to bring Jeff and Jenny here all the time when they were little. They'd get so rambunctious, and I'd bring them here and make them run off all that steam so they'd take a good nap in the afternoon." I felt a wistful smile tug at the corners of my mouth. "I guess those days are over--until I have grandkids, that is."

Memories crowded my mind. Jeff in the sandbox, designing intricate roads and tunnels for his toy cars. Jenny, throwing her arms over her head in triumph the day she finally dared the big slide all by herself. Pushing them both on the swings until they learned to pump for themselves, then joining them to enjoy those brief moments of weightlessness that made me feel I could soar up into the sky like a bird.

Tears welled in my eyes. "I was so hoping they'd be home for Christmas."

Mike gave me an impish grin. "So you could bring them to play on the playground?"

"No, silly!" I swatted his arm, but I was grinning, too. After a moment, I sobered. "I guess I'm just not used to not having them home for the holidays."

Mike pulled me into an embrace, and I rested my head on his shoulder. "And here you're stuck with me, instead."

I looked up and winked at him. "Well, there are certain ... compensations."

"Well, that's a relief." We kissed again. When we parted, he looked down at me, frowning. "Lynne, I-" He broke off and seemed to reconsider what he'd been about to say. "I'm really enjoying this time together too."

I wondered what he'd been about to say, but I wasn't sure I should ask. A sudden gust brushed the back of my neck, and I shivered.

Mike's frown turned to one of concern. "You ready to go back?"

We were quiet on the walk back to the apartment, holding hands. I didn't want to press Mike, and I certainly didn't want to talk about missing the kids or my tribulations at work. If only I could talk to Margay! But she was away, dealing with problems of her own, and it didn't seem right to pester her. Besides, while I knew she'd sympathize with missing Jenny and Jeff and the situation at work, I couldn't think of a way to get her reaction on that moment beside the playground with Mike.

It didn't matter, really. I already knew the answer. Enjoy this week for what it was and then move on. Moving on was turning out to be something I wasn't very good at.

Back at the apartment, we pulled off our coats and hung them. The tree glittered merrily in the living room. Mike pulled me close and kissed me. "Want to fool around?"

As much as I enjoyed making love with Mike, I wasn't sure I was in the right frame of mind for a repeat of the past few days. "I don't know, Mike. I'm still a little off-kilter emotionally. I'm not sure just how much I'm up for"

He nodded understanding. "How about if I just give you a backrub, and then we call it a night?"

It sounded heavenly. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind?"

"Mind giving you a backrub? I wouldn't offer if I minded." He caught the look on my face, and my meaning clicked. "Oh." He laughed and shook his head. "Lynne, I like sex. I like sex with you--a lot. But sometimes it's nice just being close."

It was hard to argue with that.

In my bedroom, I took off my clothes and Mike stripped down to his briefs. I had a bottle of hand lotion, and Mike pronounced it a good enough substitute for massage oil.

A little nervously, I let him arrange me on my belly on the bed, while he knelt beside me. He poured lotion into his palm and rubbed his hands together to warm it.