Years ago, after my divorce, I did what most new divorcees do: I blamed myself the whole thing. It must have been something I did or didn't do that pushed him away. It couldn't have been the fact that he was just a lying, cheating bastard. So as a result, I went out of my way with the next man in my life do everything I could to make him happy, figuring that was the way to keep him close. This is a story about one of those attempts.

Sex with my ex had been good, at least I had thought so, but I figured if it was great with the new guy then he would be mine. As a result of this, I opened myself up to doing just about anything that was new and exciting: role playing, sex toys, weird positions, etc ... It was my Kama Sutra period. So when one of my regulars at the beauty shop told us about overhearing her older brother talking to a friend about a "bead job" he'd gotten in a Bangkok whorehouse when he was in the Air Force. What happened was as he was screwing her, the whore pushed a string of lubricated beads up his ass, then, when he started to come, she yanked them out suddenly. My friend thought it was disgusting, but said her brother had said that it was the most intense sexual experience of his life. This seemed like something I should do with Charley. The next time I went to his apartment I took along an old Woolworth plastic pearl necklace, and a tube of KY jelly. The "pearls" were old and cheap, a left over from my junior high school days, but they had a strong string through them with no chance of breaking.

When I told him about my plans for the evening, he wanted no part of it. He said he didn't want anybody shoving anything up his ass and mumbled something about that's how you get piles. I was heartbroken. I pleaded with him to do it, because for some strange reason, it had become very important to me, like this was going to make or break our future together. It was especially frustrating to me because, frankly, there was nothing in it for me. Finally, after much haggling, we hit on a compromise: instead of doing it during intercourse, I could do it to him while I sucked him off, a good old fashioned come-in-my-mouth blow job. (Charley was such a romantic:)).

We decided the best way to do it would be with Charley standing and me on my knees, I couldn't think of any other way to get access to his ass, which I did, and all Charley worried about was if I had access to his dick, which I did. I lubed up the beads and knelt in front of him, reaching around his ass and began slipping them one at a time into his tight asshole. He kept jerking and squirming around as I went about my work, his cock was literally in my face and, as it grew harder and more erect, I began to kiss and lick it, Charley began to forget about his ass and what was going on back there and concentrated on what was happening in front. By the time I got about 8 inches in him he was fully erect, time to get down to business.

Holding tightly to the string of beads with my right hand, I took his dick in my left and began caressing it with my tongue, from base to tip. My tongue slowly tortured his erect penis, rubbing back and forth along the rim of its head. I could see the blue veins bulging out along the shaft. This probably wasn't going to take long. I pulled my lips tight over my teeth to provide a cushion for his cock and moved my head forward and down, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could. If I was going to let somebody face fuck me it was going to be a good fuck. As I began moving my head back and forth, slowly at first, I let my tongue run wild on his rock hard prick. The only sound in the room was his heavy breathing and occasional groan, and my soft slurping noises. Charley put his hands on my shoulders and began moving his hips forward to meet my bobbing head. Now, this is something I don't really care for, I prefer to be in control when giving head, but I realize that this s a reaction that men don't really have much control over. It's just instinct, I guess, and I adjusted for it, besides, I was pretty turned on myself, and I assuming that when this was over, he'd reciprocate, if not orally or with his wang, then with a broom handle for all I cared. Then I felt the first hint of a throb from the boner in my mouth, and I knew it he was about to shoot. I tightened the fist that was clutching the phony pearls and that's when the shit hit the proverbial fan. With the first throb of his prick, my right hand shot forward like I was punching something, ripping the beads out of his ass. Then I hear him yell,

"UNGGG, MOTHER FUCK!"

With that his hips literally lunged out, hitting me in the face, tipping my head back, his hard dick slammed against the back of my throat, the first shot of cum whitewashing my tonsils (That ends the question of whether you're a swallower or a spitter, in that circumstance you've no choice. It's out of your hands, trust me). It also triggered my gag reflex. As I fell back on my ass, coughing up semen, Charley staggered backwards drunkenly, still cumming. Come in my mouth? He came in it, on it, in my face, in my hair, I was a fucking mess (Hey, there's poem there; Cum on my face, cum in my hair, there was cum flying all through the air. Anybody wants to set it to music, go ahead, claim it for your own.). Fortunately, we were by the bed when all this happened. Charley stumbled back, hit the bed, and fell back on it without hurting himself. I sat on the floor leaning on one arm, coughing and laughing hysterically at the sight of Charley lying on the bed, his now semi erect cock waving back and forth still dripping jism. All I could think of was, what if I'd had to call the ambulance, how would I have explained it?

"Well guys. It's like this, I was blowing this fool who had 8 to 10 inches of costume jewelry shoved up his ass and when I yanked it out, he swooned, fell and broke his neck. It could have happened to anybody." Would I have gone to jail or the loony bin? Who knows? Anyway, I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.

Then I heard him say loudly, "Damn fucking cock sucker!" I assumed he was swearing at me because I was laughing at him and also because, well, you know, I was just sucking his cock. Makes sense. I got up and sat on the bed next to him.

I shook my head and looked at him, all I could say was, "Holy shit!"

"Damn," he said as he sat up, "it felt like my fuckin' guts were coming out!"

"From which end?" I asked.

"Both!" he retorted, putting his arm around me. "That caught me completely off guard. Are you OK?"

"Yeah, considering you almost broke my nose with that pelvic thrust, choked me with your hard on, drowned me with your semen, and knocked me back on my ass, I'm doing just fine. It's a good thing men don't shoot out that much in volume, because I would have looked like one of those kids you see that have milk or soda coming out of their noses when they laugh. As it is I think I got some up in my sinuses." Then I gave a very unladylike sniff, like I was trying to clear my nasal passages, we smiled at each other.

"Maybe doing it standing up wasn't the right way to go. Oh, great blow job, by the way."

"Thanks."

"I'm not going to be up to it for a few days, but I wouldn't mind trying again the way you wanted to in the first place, on a bed while we're making love." I could see he was still worrying about getting hemorrhoids. "I'd kind of like to see if it would be just as wild."

"Probably not as insane. Like you said, it caught you off guard. Next time you'll know what's going to happen and be ready for it. That doesn't mean it can't be fantastic." With that I retrieved my beads and headed into the bathroom to clean myself up.

About 4 nights later we decided it was time to give it another try. Off I went again with my freshly sanitized beads and KY jelly, but this time I'd put a little more thought into it. For one thing, I decided maybe I shouldn't just rip the necklace out in one fast shot, but pull it a little slower to prolong the sensation. Also, let him grease his own ass instead of covering the beads with lube so I could get a better grip on them.

Our love making began simply enough, after a couple of glasses of wine, we went into the bedroom and sat on the bed. We began kissing passionately and slowly started to undress each other. It was easy for him, as I was wearing the minimum I could, no point in dressing up when you know you're just going undress quickly. Slacks, slippers, a pull over blouse, and panties, that was it. He got rid of the slacks and blouse quickly, I had taken care of the slippers myself. On the other hand, all I had managed to do was get his shirt off and undid the front of his pants, largely because he wasn't co-operating. While he was pulling off my slacks, his face was just inches from my tits, causing a major distraction. He began alternately licking and sucking on my erect nipples, and forgot about everything else for a few minutes. This was sending gentle waves of pleasure through me, so who was I to complain? I could feel my heart rate rising and my pussy getting wet, I knew this was going to be good. Almost as if he had suddenly remembered what he had been doing, he abandoned my breasts, lightly tapped the sides of my ass cheeks, indicating I should rise up a little while he removed my panties. Then first removing his shoes and socks, he stood up, dropped his pants and underwear and stepped out of them.