Chapter 4

When I got home I pulled into the garage and entered the house greeted by our ever faithful dog who was really, really happy to see me. He ran upstairs leading me the whole way straight to the back door, poor dog needed to go O-U-T, out. He scampered out the door into the darkness to take care of his business as I turned and headed to my bedroom, our bedroom, more tears as this realization gripped me and I staggered and had to put a hand on the wall to steady myself. It was my bedroom. I didn't share it anymore with anyone else. Not anymore.

I turned on the TV, flipped the channel to a local channel and tried to focus on the syndicated show that I used to watch in prime time. How could this have happened? What was God trying to teach me?

BARK WOOF BARK The dog brought me out of my stupor and back to reality. He wanted in. He was again very happy to see me. He led the way toward my room but instead headed downstairs. He wanted to be fed. Of course, no one home to feed him ... no one home.

Feed the dog. Head upstairs ... call it quits for the day.

I am not sure when I fell asleep, just that sometime around 2am, I had to get up and use the bathroom. I didn't undress before bed and didn't void my bladder either for that matter. I stripped down, emptied the bladder and went back to bed.

The next morning, my dog was panting in my face, wanting to go out. I got out of bed, let him out and then started the coffee. 10 cups of water in the pot, three scoops of coffee in the hopper my recipe for coffee. Need to make sure that I make enough for everyone to have some. David likes to have coffee now, even though he is only 11. Not very much, just a little with lots of cream and sugar. He says its coffee, but actually just coffee flavored milk. Josh sometimes likes to have some, same way as his big brother, but he doesn't finish it very often. So I don't make him much. Don't want to waste the milk and sugar.

Going through the motions, just like a normal day. Nothing to think about, just making the coffee and letting the dog out. Making the coffee.

I stopped. Who am I making coffee for? I drop the coffee and ran down the hallway. Got to make sure the kids are up for school; don't want anyone late for school. Their beds are empty. I feel the sheets, cold to the touch. They haven't been slept in. Panic. Where are the boys? I head downstairs; sometimes they like to sleep downstairs on the couch or on the floor. I never have understood why they sleep on the floor. No one is there. No blankets or comforters on the floor. No sign of my kids.

I rush upstairs to tell Samantha. She has to know what is going on. Maybe the kids are bed with mommy. They still do that from time to time.

No one is in bed. What is going on? Samantha is not in the bathroom. Where are the kids? Where is my wife? Panic sets in.

I wake up; face down on the bed with the TV remote under my head. I blacked out. The local news people are talking about the accident and they are saying my wife's and kids names on the TV. Telling me that my family is gone. Telling me that I'm alone and that there was an accident and that the police are investigating it further. How could ... Why?

My phone is ringing.

"Hello?" I answer, sort of out of it.

"Honey? It's your mom. Are you alright? I just heard from a friend who lives in KC that your family was in an accident. Are you OK?"

"No, I'm not OK. Samantha and the kids are both gone. They were killed in the accident and I'm alone in the house." I start to cry while on the phone. "What am I going to do now mom? How am I going to get through the day?" My words are drowned out by my sobs.

"It's ok; I'll pack a bag and be there in just a few hours. I'll help you through all of this. Just hang on. I'll be right there." She clicks off. I look at the phone. She doesn't usually hang up on me like that. I drop the phone on the bed and just lie there.

BARK WOOF BARK

My dog wants in.

I have to get the dog. I get up and walk down the hall to let him in. He greets me with happiness and then gets a big drink of water from his bowl. With water dripping from his muzzle more sniffs and loves. I pet him on the head, look into his brown eyes and tell him that he is a good boy. A good dog. I rub behind his ears. He tilts his head just like usual so that I can rub him in that one spot he likes so much. Satisfied, he wanders off and I am left standing in the kitchen. Alone.

Coffee is done. I pour a mug. KNOCK KNOCK BANG BANG goes the front door. Someone is very insistent in being let in. What a surprise.

I walk to the front door, all the while the dog is barking his fool head off at the door making sure that I know that someone is at the front door. "I know Caesar, I know. Someone is at the front door." I say to the dog as I am walking to the front door. I look through the little window at the top of the door and look outside. It is my neighbors, all five of them, banging on my door.

"Paul!! You have to let us in! We just heard about Samantha and the kids! We need to talk!" My neighbor hollered while pounding on the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Krystal burst through the door and grabbed me in a bear hug as she sobbed on my shoulder and said how sorry she was. Her husband John also grabbed me in a bear hug and said the same thing, how sorry he was. Of course the three kids, Tessa, Jenna and Johnny, also joined in on the group hug and everyone was sobbing, saying how sorry they were.

This outpouring of love and affection was not too strange since our families have been so close for many years. My kids hung out with their kids, they slept over at each other's houses. More like brother-sisters than friends.

"Thanks everyone. Thank you." I struggled to untangle myself from their grasp. Finally, everyone relaxed and sat down on the couch in the front room. "Can I get anyone a cup of coffee?"

"I'll take one," John said.

I turned and headed to the kitchen and made the man a cup of coffee. My closest friend for many years. We became instant friends from the moment he and his family moved in. The only thing that kept us from hanging out every day was his bad health from his war wounds. Otherwise, when he is feeling up to it, we would go shooting at a local range, go out to see movies or play video games online together. Now the entire family was over commiserating with me on this great loss. The kids have lost someone they would consider brothers and they lost someone who they may consider a second mom. This was going to be tough on all of us.

"Have you made plans for their burial yet?" John asked from the doorway into the kitchen.

"No. I need to make all sorts of phone calls including my boss letting her know that I won't be in for a few days and get my Facebook updated with the news and then find a way to close Samantha's page down. I just have so much to do and no energy to do any of it."

"If you need help, we are here for you man. That is what friends are for." John was next to me, arm around my shoulder, just being there. In good times and now bad, this is a true friend.

"Thanks." I realized that his coffee was still sitting there, so I handed it to him he took a sip, thanked me for it and returned to the front room. I followed behind him. Tessa, Jenna and Krystal were all on their mobile devices typing away at a mad pace. "What are you up to Krystal?"

"Making posts on your Facebook page and on Samantha's. Trying to get the word out of this tragedy letting everyone knows that funeral services are forthcoming and keep an eye out for them. Would you like me to post on your page as well?"

I thought for a minute and then fetched my phone for her. I opened the app, handed it to her and asked her to post on my page for me.

She took the phone, and started typing. I sat down on the couch and just leaned back and tried not to think for a bit.

Then there was a weight on my lap. I opened my eyes and found Jenna sitting on my lap. I wrapped my arms around the girl, only 14, but mature for her age. I have known her since she was a 7 so seeing her grow up has been amazing and fun. She hasn't grown very tall or filled out very much, but she has matured mentally for sure. "It's going to be ok you know. They may be gone, but you always have us to help raise."

She was right. I did still have some family left around; luckily they were right across the street.

I hugged her tighter and she shifted just a bit so that she could hug me also. "Thanks Jenna."

I took my android phone back from Krystal, who had finished the post, and asked if it was good enough. I read it over:

****To all of the friends and family of Paul, this is Krystal Newtown, posting on his behalf. There has been a great tragedy in his life and he has lost his wife Samantha Johnson and both of his kids in an accident yesterday. He is really shaken up about it and has asked me to let everyone know of what has happened and what is going to happen in the near future. Here is what happened.

Chapter 5 »