Chapter 19

The rest of the week passed quickly. When I got home Tuesday night, I went outside and inspected the work that was done. My yard looked good, all of the sticks that littered the yard were gone, the swing set was still there but the HUGE tree in my backyard was gone. The place looked totally different now. I could see the neighbor's backyard better now. No more limbs hanging in the way. His yard looked like it had been mowed even. Everything looked good and so I went back inside. Caesar was glad to see me and spent the night with me in my bed.

Wednesday the money arrived. $16 million in the bank account. Just like that. I called the bank, spoke with the manager and had him explain to me when I could use the money. He looked things over and told me that since it was a wire transfer the money was mine and I could use it right away. I don't know if he has ever seen so much money so when he inhaled suddenly just as our conversation started and his attitude changed as we talked. He was a bit more formal at the end. I think the respect level just went up while we were talking. Money has a way of doing that I suppose.

Thursday flew by with teaching and such. It was quite busy and I didn't even get a chance to see Ashlee that day. I went home at the end of the day, crashed in a pile and of course Caesar was right there with me all night long.

Friday is my official day off. I didn't get out of bed until after Rachel Ray was over. Then I took my shower, ate breakfast and retired to family room and my computer. I started out making a few notes on what I wanted in an assistant. I needed someone to make arrangements for travel, book hotel rooms, get cars for us to drive. Also, someone to take care of me if I get stupid drunk and make sure that I don't get taken advantage of while in that state. I need a minder if that is a word. Though I would very much like someone to share my bed at the end of the day and then be there when I wake up. I wanted someone to share my life with, but that would mean I wanted a wife not an assistant. Uh oh, now I have a problem. I was not ready for a wife yet. I wanted to get done with my list then after everything has been taken care of, I would look around and make a decision about a new wife. This was getting complicated.

I would love to have her with me that would be fun. I would really like to get into her panties and spend some quality time there. That really excited me. Was I ready for an instant family? Was I ready for a daughter ... a teenaged daughter. Was this going to be just about sex with no feelings or emotions? No attachments? No future with someone? Too many questions too soon in a, what, a relationship? I just didn't know.

So this put me in a funk. A sadness because I was starting something that I didn't know where it was going. Starting something that I didn't even know if I was ready for. I just had too many questions right now. So, I left the house.

My first stop was to the church. I am not a perfect Christian, not even close to a good one, but I do believe in Jesus and did put my faith in him for my eternal salvation. That is at least one step in the right direction. Now all I have to do is trust him to clean me up and make me perfect like him.

The church that Samantha and I attended was the local Baptist church, as I have mentioned before. Small congregation, a few hundred people every Sunday and a smallish parking lot. The good thing about this place is the people, which make up the church anyway. Incredibly welcoming. I could tell you the story of our first day visiting, but I won't. That brings back too many memories.

I arrived in the parking lot, and entered the 'office' door which is just a side door that leads to the basement where the office is located. Not glamorous. "Good morning. How can I help you?" the receptionist greeted me when I came in through the door.

I put a smile on my face and said "Hi. Is Jerry available?" He is the head pastor. The guy who hugged me so fiercely the first Sunday after Samantha and the kids died.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, I was hoping to catch him and tell him thank you for the past couple of weeks." I didn't want to tell everyone what I was doing here. I didn't need or want the attention.

"Ok, why don't you have a seat and I'll see if he is available." I turned and sat down in the waiting area if that is what you can call it. The other receptionist smiled at me but went back to what she was doing and I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and checked for any updates from friends and relatives. Nothing interesting.

In no time at all, Jerry came out of his office with a smile on his face and welcomed me into his office. He sat on one end of the couch while I sat on the other.

"Jerry, thank you for seeing me. I hope that I didn't pull you away from anything important."

"No, nothing more important than helping members of the church. What brings you to my office today?"

"I wanted to make a contribution to the building fund. I know that you all have the land down south of town all picked out and ready, but how far away are you to starting the building."

As I was asking that question, his eyes jumped to his door and then back to me. He saw someone outside. "I'll be able to answer that in just a moment. I just saw our building chairman walk through. Is it OK if I bring him in?"

"Sure." He stood up, went to the door and whistled to the man who passed a moment ago. A gentleman walked into the office after answering the call from Jerry. Grey hair at the temples, smartly dressed in business casual attire.

"Paul Johnson, this is Tom Abner. He is the chair for our building committee."

I shook his hand from a standing position and the three of us took seats around a conference table also in his office. Nothing more than a coffee table three feet in diameter. "It is good to meet you Mr. Abner."

"My pleasure. How can I help?" He said graciously.

"I was asking Jerry here how much money we as a church are short on the building project."

"Oh, well let me see." Tom pulled a phone from his pocket and started looking for something scrolling up and sideways. "We are short just over a million dollars. Why?"

"Well, it's like this. I have never really participated in giving to the church very much or very regularly. Money has always been tight at home and I have always had trust issues where money is involved." I had both men nodding their heads. They both looked like they understood where I was coming from. "Recently things have changed for me and I wanted to make a contribution to the church that I didn't feel comfortable doing on a Sunday morning."

Jerry spoke first. "I understand that part. You are not the only person who will come into the office and drop off their tithe personally and not just drop it into the offering plate. If you like I'll introduce you to our accounting team if that would make you more comfortable?"

"No, it is not that." I hesitated. Was this the right thing to do? Could I actually trust the church to not waste my money or was this just my own selfish desire to hold onto 'MY' money. "It is more about the quantity than anything. If I remember correctly 10% has been the number that sticks in my mind when the Bible talks about money. Is that correct?"

Both men were nodding but Jerry spoke up. "10% was the amount that Jesus talked about in several places in the New Testament. God told the Israelites to give 10% to the priests as a tithe of their first fruits. So 10% giving today is a number backed up by scripture." He leaned forward and took on an air of seriousness. "I am concerned. What is going on Paul?"

I squirmed in my chair. I tried to maintain a calm exterior but my stomach was protesting. "I have come into some money and I am feeling and thinking that I need to give some to the church since without the church I would not have arrived at this place in my life. I would not have found the love of my life and had 13 great years with her nor had two amazing kids with her. I would be lonely right now if not for the church."

Tom spoke again. "I know where you are coming from. I could tell you stories about my salvation but we would need a lot more tissues at the table but I won't do that to you." Tom leaned back in his chair and asked one more question. "If this is about the church, why do you need me here right now?"

I looked at him. "I needed you and Jerry here now because I am giving the church 1.6 million dollars and I needed a number and you are the man in the know."

Surprise is a strange thing. If you scare a person, they get surprised and usually jump back and cover themselves as a protection reflex. You give someone a surprised gift and usually they jump up from where they are sitting and scream for joy. A final group have no reaction at all. They take on a form of non-movement and shock to which you want to nudge them to get them to move again. This is the reaction that these two men had. Their mouths fell open, their eyes got real big and their eyebrows got much higher on their foreheads.

I looked back and forth between them, gauging their reaction. "Tom? Jerry? Guys?" So I reached across the table and touched both of their hands, they both blinked closed their mouths and came back to life.

"Are you serious?" Jerry asked first. "I don't mean to pry, but why are giving the church so much money?"

"Ya, we are glad to receive it, but, how?" Tom asked also interested in my thinking.

"Ok, Jerry you know the story, but I guess Tom doesn't. A couple of weeks ago, my wife and two boys died in a car accident." Tom got that sad look on his face just like everyone else does. "No, don't be sad for me. I don't want it and don't need it. It is just the way of the Lord and I can do nothing about it. The two companies involved with the accident came to me to settle out of court instead of going through a trial and all of that and the money I am giving you is from that settlement."

"Your wife and both kids?" Tom asked. I could tell that he wasn't believing that I was OK with what happened to me. I got a feeling that he is a caring and loving guy, but I didn't need pity.

"Ya. Everybody." I took a breath and continued. "So, I woke up this morning and drove down here to give back to a church that has given me so much. I just don't feel right about keeping all of it when the church could do so much more than I could ever do. I'm giving back to the church that loved me so much."

Tom was nodding his head. "I understand. Thank you for telling me all this. I had no idea." He reached out put his hand on my arm, he got it. Jerry did the same from the other side. They understood. They got it.

So I pulled away and pulled out my checkbook and started writing. One Million, Six Hundred Thousand and no/100. The biggest thing I have done. I tore it out and held it out to Jerry. I looked him in the eye and said "I don't want anything for this. If it were possible to keep this between us that would be perfect. I don't want thanks. I don't want an announcement in front of the whole church. This is between us and no one else. Understand?"

I held firmly onto the check. I didn't want everyone and their uncle all up in my face making a big deal about this. This was for the church and only the Lord in heaven needs to know about it. "I understand Paul. We will get this put into the bank right away and only the accountant and bankers will know anything about it. I will have to let the building committee know that everything has been paid off and that we can begin building, but no one will know you were involved."

I looked at Tom. "Same goes for you too. Not one word."

Tom was agreeable to that. I released the check and Jerry quickly left the office and went to the accountant where the two of them had a quick discussion and he returned to the office. Jerry took his seat and asked. "Paul, I know that I had a chance to pray with you a while back, but would you mind if the three of us prayed again together?"

"Sure, that would be fine."

Jerry reached out and took my hand and I did the same with Tom and bowed my head. "Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your servant Paul and for his faithfulness. Thank you for the gift we have received and thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve the metro area with this gift." He went on and on about how wonderful it was to receive the Lord's blessing and so forth. He asked a special blessing on me and on Tom asking for a special care on the use of the money and not to waste it. I kind of tuned out. I didn't have a great prayer life, but when I did get to a position to lift up a prayer I didn't go on and on. I said my peace and moved on. I don't know if that is the right thing or not, but even the Lord's Prayer in the Bible isn't that long.

"Amen." Tom and I echoed it and Jerry was done.

"Thank you Jerry. I appreciate it."

"Yes, thank you. Now the real pressure is on my shoulders to use the money as God intends for his glory." Tom said with shoulders slumping under the responsibility. Better him than me. I'll pray for him.

Feeling that everything is now done, I got up from the table and thanked each man for their time and for each of their discretion. This was for His glory, not mine. Leave my name out of it.

I got home, ate lunch relaxed for a few minutes and thought about what I should do next. I went to my clothes hamper and checked on it, not quite full. No need to do laundry. The fridge is full, no need to go to the store. What should I do now?

Well, I guess TV or the computer is next. Let's compromise and do Netflix on the Wii. So, there I go. I watch a part of a movie flip around between couple of TV shows and end up on with Top Gear from the BBC on my TV. Three guys reviewing cars and taking adventures around Great Britain and throughout Europe. It was the funniest show I had seen in years and I just couldn't turn it off. I managed to watch three episodes from three different seasons and saw some of the most incredible cars that exist on the planet. I just couldn't believe that some of the vehicles I saw on that show are for sale and actually exist. I finally turned it off and took a break and while walking through the living room, I picked up a phone book and looked up a car dealership that may sell Porsche. Funny thing, there was one in KC. I checked my watch saw that it was still early in the afternoon and I could get across town before they closed.