Chapter 4

I heard the alarm scream at 6:00 am and struggled with the bedcovers to reach it. I muttered, "Damn, that alarm's loud."

Walking to Pam's door, I knocked and slowly opened it. She was up on one elbow staring at me.

"Was that the alarm in your room?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's loud, I know."

She collapsed back onto her pillow and stared at the ceiling. The room was almost dark at that time of the morning.

As I turned to walk to the kitchen, she asked, "Do we have to get up yet?"

"Why don't you relax a little longer," I said, "and I'll turn the coffee on."

I always prepared the coffee for brewing the night before. Just as the brew cycle was ending, Pam walked in. She again had on that beautiful robe that'd belonged to Lydia.

We kissed and she wrapped one arm around my waist and laid her head on my chest. I handed her a cup. She reached up and kissed me again. "Thanks sweetheart."

I asked, "Did you have any dreams last night?"

She glanced up at me and smiled. "Yeah, I did. It was really strange and I've no idea what to make of it. I heard a woman's voice and dreamed that I woke. She said 'give it back.' I remember in the dream getting out of bed and following her voice into the kitchen. Everything was then quiet and the voice stopped. That was it. I wasn't scared in the dream. If anything, I felt happy."

"Wonder what, if anything, that means? Give what back? Who was the woman?"

"I've never heard that voice before. All she said was 'give it back' but I don't know what to give back. What about you? Did you have any dreams?"

"No. I thought about Lydia for a long time before dozing off. I was surprised she never told me about confiding in Susan. We had talked about everything, I thought, during those last two years but she never talked about those particular dreams or visits."

"You said that she seemed happy and unconcerned about her pending death."

"She was concerned about me; but yes, she was unconcerned about herself. I attributed that to her faith and trying to put up a good front for me. I knew she was worried about what I'd do after she was gone. You need to understand that I depended on her. She completely devoted herself to our marriage and to me. Her business helped by giving some balance to her activities and interests; but she always believed her number one job was to support me. I don't know why she didn't tell me about those dreams? I had no idea she was keeping secrets from me."

"Maybe by doing it the way she did," Pam replied, "she was making sure you knew it was for real and not just some hallucination caused by the chemo. If she had told you that a woman would be at the cabin this week, would you have believed her?"

"Probably not. I'd have thought it was the chemo affecting her."

"Both of us know there's no way this could be faked ... absolutely no way. For some reason, God brought us together. I don't know why He chose me. I sure wasn't being a good person."

"Nor I. I wasn't being very nice to many people, in fact. I don't know why I was introduced to such a wonderful young lady as you. You are so far out of my league it's not funny."

Pam thought for a few moments, as if trying to make sure she wanted to say something.

"Tom, do you actually think I'm all that wonderful? I surely don't. I've slept around with several men, disobeyed and dishonored my parents and hardly even have a family because I chased them all away. I probably was the major cause of my dad dying so young. I was selfish and egotistical and very dumb."

I could see tears welling in her eyes. I wrapped both arms around her and pull her head to my chest again. She started shaking as she wept.

"I imagine you've had your moments, but we all have in one form or another. What matters is the future. I think God sees in you the things I see in you. You love people. You have a great compassion for others who are struggling. You realize you made mistakes and are working to move past them. I think you've asked for forgiveness in your own way and He forgave you."

"I truly hope so. I've done a lot that needs forgiving."

"Pam, we all have."

We kissed again and walked to the bedrooms to shower and dress.

As soon as we reached Interstate 85, we began looking for food. I asked, "Any place special you like?"

"Not really. Cracker Barrel or Bob Evans Restaurants are usually good if we can find one."

We eventually saw a Cracker Barrel at Exit 129 and pulled off into the parking lot. It was fairly busy but we were seated right away.

As we sipped coffee and waited for our orders to come, I said, "You seemed very quiet in the car this morning. Are you worried about going home?"

"Yeah, I am. The last time I was there, my mom and I got into a really big argument about my lifestyle and my future. She was right and I was wrong, that's what hurts so much. I must look her in the eye and apologize and tell her that she was right. She didn't deserve any of the abuse I gave her."

I reached across the table for her hand. "She will forgive you and love you unconditionally. I remember some of my rebellious periods and how I put my parents through hell with my words and actions. They forgave me. Thankfully, that stuff is behind us and we learned from it. Moms and dads seem to have an infinite supply of forgiveness."

"I hope so. I'm glad you're going with me. I need you."

After leaving the restaurant, we made our way up I-85 and eventually saw a sign for Greenville. "Take the next exit and then turn left," she directed.

I followed her turn-by-turn instructions for another six or seven miles as we drove into the foothills. The mountains here weren't as high as the Great Smoky Mountains but were stately and serene. We arrived and Pam directed me up a long gravel lane to the house. Her mother heard our car coming and walked out on the porch as we drove up. She waved as I parked the car.

Much to my surprise, Pam burst from the car and ran at top speed to her mom. They stood on the porch, hugged and kissed, and for several minutes, exchanging quiet thoughts that I couldn't hear. I gave them the privacy they needed until Pam turned and yelled for me to come.

Mrs. Davis started greeting me as I walked up the steps. "Welcome! Thank you for bringing Pam home." Both had tears in their eyes.

Between sniffles, Pam introduced us. "Mom, this is Tom Sumter. Tom, this is my mom, Ruth."

We briefly hugged. Ruth was a beautiful woman and obviously took great care of herself.

"Tom, I'm very pleased to meet you."

"Ruth, I am very happy to meet you. Pam has told me much about you and this farm. It certainly is a pretty place." I glanced at Pam. She appeared to be very relieved.

"Thank you. Please come in out of the cold."

We walked past the open screen door and heavy wooden front door into the living room. This was obviously an old and very traditional farmhouse. The ceilings were very high which helped cool the house in the summer before air conditioning was invented. There were two fireplaces in the large living room. Just beyond and to the left appeared to be the kitchen. I could smell various spicy aromas from the lunch Ruth was preparing. To my immediate left was the dining room with a beautiful old and large trestle table.

"Please make yourself comfortable Tom. I have some cooking on and just need to check it." Pam and her mom walked together to the kitchen.

Walking around the room, I looked at photos, mementos and all the little knickknacks that tend to find their way into our lives. Several photos were of the two girls at various ages. Both Pam and Jerri were beautiful, even as young girls. Their dad was a tall and ruggedly handsome man, his face showing the evidence of hard farm work.

Only one of the fireplaces was burning and I added a stick of wood to it. Standing with my back to the flames, I warmed my trouser legs and hands. Occasionally, I could hear snippets of the conversation in the kitchen.

"Well, he sure is handsome."

"Chattanooga?"

"Oh, I'm so happy for that."

"She's flying in from Houston tonight."

"We can go together."

I decided to join them and walked to the doorway and knocked on the open door.

"Come in, Tom. Sorry for the mess. Pam was just telling me a bit more about you."

I joked, "Does that mean I have to leave now?"

Both laughed. "No, of course not. It sounds to me like she thinks a lot of you. Pam says you can even cook."

"Not me! I enjoy puttering around the kitchen but I just stand back and watch when Pam takes over. You did a wonderful thing by teaching her to cook."

Ruth stood at the range and stirred whatever was in the pot. She turned and smiled.

"Both girls spent time in the kitchen but I had the impression it was more like a jail sentence than a classroom."

I smiled when Pam exclaimed, "MOM! You know we loved to be in here with you."

"Yes, but that was because the alternative was out in the fields with your dad."

Pam replied, "Well..."

I said, "So she learned to cook by default." I smiled as they laughed.

"Tom, do you like vegetable soup?"

"I love it, and my mouth is watering as I stand here."

"I always add some sirloin steak and veal sausage and let it simmer for several hours so all the flavors blend."

"Mom is also baking her legendary sourdough bread. Wait until you taste it. I've missed her cooking. Mom, how long will it be until it's ready?"

"About 15 minutes before the bread's done. The soup is ready now."

Pam asked, "Tom, could we bring our luggage in?"

"Sure, please excuse us Ruth." She smiled and turned back to her soup.

As we walked to the car, Pam reached inside my arm and said, "You were exactly right. It was like our last argument never happened. I can't believe she was so happy to see me." I smiled.

As I unloaded the two overnight bags, Pam asked, "Is it okay if we stay an extra day? I was thinking we'd just stay tonight and go back tomorrow afternoon. But I think I want to stay a little longer. My sister is going home on Saturday."

"That's fine. I'll need to wash a shirt and underwear but the jeans will be good for another day."

"Do you have to wear underwear?" I glanced and saw that devious grin I was learning to love.

I smiled. "I suppose not."

"Good, you never know when this sex-starved lady will attack. The fewer layers I have to remove, the better." She leaned into me and we kissed before she flashed that grin again.

I carried the bags upstairs. There was a long central hallway with bedrooms on both sides. Whoever designed the house planned for maximum ventilation during the summer months. There were windows at each end of the hall to create a nice breezeway. There were transom windows that could be opened above each bedroom doorway. This allowed the outside bedroom windows to be open and let the air flow through the room into the breezeway created in the hall. It was an ingenious design for an earlier time.

Pam led me to one of the bedrooms. "I told her you'd be here in the guest room and I'd sleep in my old room. Jerri will be in her old room. Of course, I can visit you at night, just to make sure you're okay." Again, she flashed that grin I found so charming.

"You're cute, young lady."

She replied, "If you think I'm cute, wait until you see Jerri. You'll probably want to do nightly visits to her room."

"You're more than I can imagine, plus she's an old married lady."

"Yeah, but she loves sex as much as I do. I'll bet anything that you'll hear a lot of buzzing in her room after she meets you. Maybe I should lay a spare set of batteries on her nightstand." She grinned again.

"When does she arrive?"

"Her plane lands at 5:00. She's on Southwest from Houston. The airport is only 45 minutes from here and I told Mom we'd all go together to pick her up. Maybe we can have dinner somewhere."

"That's a good idea. We don't want to be a burden on your mom any more than necessary."

"There's a fine restaurant named Soby's on Main Street. They have good Southern-style food but with a contemporary twist ... lots of unusual food combinations, and they're really fun to try."

"Sounds good. I always like to check out what other good restaurants are doing."

"I'll call and make a reservation for 6:30. That should give us time to get her luggage and drive to the restaurant."

We walked downstairs to the kitchen and arrived just as Ruth was ladling the soup. The loaves of bread looked fantastic, as good as any bakery bread I'd seen. We took our bowls and a basket of the warm bread to the dining room, which was next to the living room and on the front of the house. The large front windows let in a flood of sunlight that warmed the room.

We sat and Ruth said she wanted to ask the blessing. We bowed our heads and held hands. "Our Father, thank you so much for bringing Pam home. It means the world to me that she and Tom are here. I ask that Jerri has a safe trip in and that this family reunion will be perfect in every way. Bless this food and us to Your service. Amen."

I glanced at Pam and saw her wiping a tear away as she said, "Thank you, Mom."

The soup was very flavorful ... a little spicy but with a rich vegetable taste that comes from using the best ingredients and simmering a long time. The sour dough bread was among the best I've tasted. I was amazed she could get such a wonderful hard crust using a home oven.

"Pam, could you learn how to make this bread? I'm blown away by its taste and texture. And the soup is delicious." I smiled at Ruth and added, "You madam, are a marvelous cook." She grinned and thanked me.

She looked at Pam. "I can give you some of the sourdough starter if you'd like."

"I'd love that, Mom."

After lunch, Pam and I washed the dishes and the pot while Ruth put the leftovers away. Once everything was in its place, Pam called the restaurant and made the reservation.

Ruth said, "Let go to the living room and enjoy the fire. I want to get to know you a little better Tom."

Pam and I sat on the sofa facing the fire and Ruth was in her favorite chair to our right. Pam took my hand.

"Pam tells me that you two recently met and that she's really impressed with you."

"The feeling is mutual. You raised a wonderful young lady."

Ruth smiled and glanced at Pam. "She's a wonderful daughter. We've had our rough patches, like all families do, but that's all behind us now. Pam is a very passionate person. She and Jerri can be the sweetest people in the world but they can also fight like two wildcats."

"MOM! That's all behind us. I've changed my ways."

"I'm sure you have, sweet. Tom, she tells me you live in Chattanooga."

"Yes, just outside the city on a hill overlooking the valley."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I own a few restaurants and a retail store that sells kitchen equipment and supplies."

"Pam, why didn't you tell me I'd be cooking for a restaurant owner? I'd have fixed something other than soup."

"Ruth, I love soup and yours was wonderful. I'd like to serve it in my restaurants."

She smiled. "Okay. I don't want to embarrass myself too much."

"You'll never be embarrassed with that cooking."

"Pam told me that you're nine years old than she."

I thought that might come up so I prepared myself for the speech as Ruth continued.

"That was exactly the same age difference between her dad and me. I'm very relieved that she now has a more mature, experienced and settled guy in her life."

I quietly sighed with relief.

"Ruth, I'm glad you think that. I was concerned you'd think I was too old for her."

"Of course not. Richard and I had a great marriage. He was a wonderful husband and provided well for us. He worked very hard both on and off the farm and I miss him. We were married over 25 years before his heart attack. Have you been married?"

"Yes, my wife died from breast cancer over two years ago. She was 29."

"Oh my! That's awful. I'm so sorry."

"I still miss her; but like you said a few minutes ago, that's behind us. Pam and I are looking to the future." Ruth smiled and nodded her head. I continued, "Tell me about your farm."

"Well, we have a little over 180 acres. It's hilly but the cattle don't seem to mind. We have two good spring-fed creeks and some good timber. I only have about 50 head but the calves bring in enough to pay the taxes and provide what little cash I need. I've a large garden and put up most of my vegetables. There's an old orchard with apple and pear trees. Richard's great-grandfather bought this land and built the house in the 1890's."

"Pam indicated that you might want to sell it."

"Yeah, it's getting more expensive to operate the farm and the taxes are going up. My neighbors help with maintenance and the cattle but there are vet bills that seem to be higher every year. A few people have indicated an interest so I might let it go. I don't think either Pam or Jerri want it so it's probably time to move on."

"Do you mind if I take a walk and see it?"

"No, of course not. Pam will be glad to show you around. Be careful with that bull. He's out in the pasture to graze for a few days. He's a new one and I'm not sure I trust being around him yet."

We visited a few more minutes before Pam and I put on jackets and walked out the back door. The chickens scrambled to get out of our way once they realized we weren't going to feed them. The crisp air had a cold edge to it.

She took my arm and we walked to the first outbuilding about 100 feet behind the house. It appeared to be a very old building, made of wood and painted white, like the house, with windows along the sides.

"This is the tool shed. Dad kept many of his farm tools and some of the tractor equipment here."

I swung open the wide door and heard the loud screeching of the rusty hinges. A large John Deere tractor was facing me. It was larger than I expected to see so I asked, "Why did your dad need such a big tractor?"

"He bought it second-hand and mowed hay for several of the other farmers around here. They traded work in the old way. Dad would mow, rake and bale the hay for our neighbors and they would help him with harvesting the corn, tending the cattle, cutting firewood and making repairs around here. That's the way it's been done for hundreds of years."

"What happens now?"

"I'm not sure but I imagine that is still going on. Maybe someone else is using his tractor, mower and baler. We should ask Mom."

I walked past the tractor to see what else was there. The building smelled of dried grass, motor oil, gasoline and axle grease. But there was something else familiar in the air. I asked, "Did he store black walnuts in here?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"I can still smell them. They're very distinctive."

She replied, "Let's look around. I haven't been in this shed in years."

We looked behind several boards of lumber leaning against the wall and some old empty cardboard boxes before Pam found a bushel of hulled nuts. I picked up a few and said, "These are still good." I handed one to Pam. "Feel how heavy it is. Why don't we take them back to the cabin if your mom doesn't want 'em."

"I'll ask her."

"I love their flavor and the shelled nuts are hard to find and expensive when you do."

As I turned, Pam put her hands around my neck and we kissed several times.

"The next spot I want to show you is our barn loft. The hay is so soft and one of my fantasies has been to entertain a young man, just like you, in the hay." There was that grin again.

"I like soft hay," I replied with a smile.

We walked approximately 100 yards down a lane and through a gate to an old gray barn. As we entered the large open door, the smell of cattle and hay permeated the air. The dirt floor inside was very hard and dry with a thick layer of dust and a musty odor. I could hear a chicken announcing to the world that she had just laid an egg.

There was a ladder built into the structure leading straight up to the loft. Pam started up and I watched her shapely bottom go into the loft before following.