Chapter 2: Pennsylvania

I finished up readying the house for sale, shipped a few things I wanted to keep to Anna, repacked my motorcycle gear and turned the key to the house over to our real estate broker. The next morning I left Dillon to head south into Rhode Island. I wanted to see the famous Newport Mansions, and by eight that morning I rode slowly past the historic summer homes of the ultra-rich built over a hundred years earlier. At one mansion, a pretty docent gave me a private tour as well as her telephone number, urging me to call her. She was attractive, and brought to mind Lauren’s prediction of a lust-fulfilling trip across country. I chuckled to myself about what a remote possibility that was.

At another mansion, I walked to the waterfront and scattered an envelope of Karen’s ashes. The act of leaving part of her behind in the ocean pulled me into a melancholy mood. I had to jar my thinking to a happier time with Karen. I chose to recall when we’d taken a weekend trip to Cape Cod. We’d rented a summer home for four days; all we could afford. We had ideal weather with an offshore breeze the entire time. In my most vivid memory from that trip, Karen ran with glee along the beach screaming in joy like a child a third her age flying a kite she’d bought. In those moments, on that beach, I wondered if she’d ever been happier. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and pictured the scene again. I’d never forget her or that day. I cried.

From Newport, I meandered to Mystic Seaport in Connecticut. The restored town catered to tourists; however, I found it quaint and memorable, so another envelope of Karen’s ashes got surreptitiously scattered to the wind in the seafaring village of another state. This time as I let the ashes fly, maybe because of the docent’s overt innuendoes, I thought of a time Karen and I had been in bed; she’d been trying to get me to think about various sexual fantasies but I’d had trouble coming with any. If I had a fantasy today, what would it be – plundering the attractive docent on one of the antique beds?

Based on what Lauren had told me, Karen and she had strong inclinations to erotica and the bawdy side of life. I wondered what Karen had thought about when she was – according to Lauren – masturbating on an almost daily basis. I never knew she felt that way, maybe the same way I did. I also wondered if I had been too staid for Karen – too vanilla, and then reflected that thoughts like those were moot now that she was gone and would just depress me despite any answer I could conceive.

I had been surprised at Lauren’s revelations about Karen’s masturbatory frequency, and that she shared details about our lovemaking with her sister. I guess you never really and completely know someone, not even your spouse and partner of eight years.

After lunch, I happily crossed to the other corner of Connecticut and crossed into New York State. I found a pretty pond to camp beside, and an hour later, I’d eaten dinner, scattered more of Karen’s ashes by the pretty pond, and set up camp in a corner of the abandoned picnic area.

I knew I’d return to my sexual memories of Karen when I went to bed, so that became my thought as the wind carried her dust into the air and into the scenic pond.

I went to bed at dusk. Before I slept, I allowed myself to think back to a sexual evening Karen and I had and allowed all my senses to savor every aspect of the memory. I could smell the sex we exuded; taste her kisses and the juices I’d brought up on my finger from her pussy; feel her breasts and body – as she felt mine; see in my mind’s eye her sexy form as she writhed beside me, over me, and under me – enticing with every move; and hear our lusty talk – recounting almost word for word a fantasy she had about me fucking her sister and her. I wondered if Karen had shared with her sister Lauren our erotic adventures that night. The memory and the added thought about Lauren, whose body I could also remember with my five senses from only a few nights before, made my cock very hard and welcome to the stimulation I willingly gave it. I masturbated, and then allowed sleep and dreams to bring me even closed to Karen – and to Lauren.

The follow morning, I took long, hard run shortly after sunrise since I hadn’t run the day before. I did some exercises near my tent, and then went down to the pond for a quick bath before I suited up for the next leg of my trip. Although the air temperature promised a warm day, the pond water chilled me to the bone, so my cleansing dunk was short and efficient. I bathed in the nude, only wrapping a towel around me to head back to camp carrying my jogging clothes. As I dressed in the open air, I reflected back on the attractive docent at the Newport Mansion. She wanted me – sent me signals that she wanted to connect, even have sex. And then, there was Lauren, with whom I’d only expected a short platonic visit – a visit that turned loving and passionate and sexual almost from the moment I arrived. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a chaste journey after all.

My college fraternity ‘big brother,’ Bob Knight, lived in a town northwest of Philadelphia called Camp Forge. We stayed in touch over the near twenty years since we graduated, losing touch more the past few years as our lives got busier. Bob was about four years older than I; as my ‘big brother’ he had sponsored me as a lowly pledge into the fraternity he belonged to. I’d emailed Bob before I left Dillon on this longer trip asking to visit. His reply enthused about my arrival – ‘come and stay as long as you can whenever you can!’ I timed my arrival for late afternoon.

On the way to Camp Forge, I stopped at a scenic overlook at the Delaware Water Gap Recreational Area in New Jersey. I consigned another envelope of Karen’s ashes to fly into the wind. This time I thought about how free her spirit had become in her passing – free from earthly dimensions, free from the limits of time, free from worries, and free from the savage illness that ravaged her body. I knew her soul was now in a good place.

I crossed into Pennsylvania. I reflected on Karen’s death again, often shaking my head in disbelief that someone so beautiful and so young could actually fall prey to her terrible autoimmune disease. What a terrible waste her death was. God, when would these thoughts of remorse stop!

I also thought about how easily I fell into bed with Lauren. Was I so easily seduced because she resembled Karen, or did I feel some real and lasting chemistry with Lauren? Would I ... could I become a life partner with her? Lauren revealed a side of her personality to me – and a hidden side of my wife I’d barely known: a horny, oversexed, lusty, amorous woman who could become turned on at the slightest provocation. Sure, Karen and I had our moments, but everyday? All the time? This was not the woman I knew. Why did she hide that fact about herself from me? Was I not worthy of sharing that side of her? Or had I just missed all the cues she had sent me and eventually she gave up trying to share with me?

Somewhere as the miles rolled by, I thought about my eight-year career in the Army Special Forces. Going into the service, I believed I’d make a dent in the growing unrest in the Middle East and the growing threat of terrorism. In hindsight, that had been a naïve belief. I’d been a gung-ho ROTC cadet, a newly minted second lieutenant, and then I got selected to take the coveted ‘Q Course’ that qualified me for extended training as a Green Beret – Special Operations. My military career ended just shy of eight years when I blew out my knee in a rough and tumble basketball game between guys in my unit. I ended up on crutches for nine months and then in physical therapy for over a year. Fortunately, the Army paid for the knee surgeries, the PT, and gave me a graceful exit from the service.

My thinking about the role of government and the military changed in that transition. I came to see the military as mired down in many situations where they were deployed because of all the ‘handcuffs’ put on them by the politicos. The mire, the mess, the mistakes, the waste, and the huge and inefficient expense bothered me. I could see where small surgical strikes like my unit was capable of could solve many problems before they even made the news.

After I left the military and got into civilian life, I started to appreciate the power that ethical business endeavors could have on world peace and prosperity. I watched as Gates, Walmart, HP, P&G, and dozens of other companies developed and funded projects in third world countries that turned the tide and made a difference where government aid didn’t. The bases for those programs were kindness, compassion, and a strong sense of responsibility, as well as a desire for vital business endeavors my cynical side added.

About fifty miles from Camp Forge and Bob Knight’s home, the motorcycle started to run rough. I started to analyze the situation, revisiting the process in which I’d rebuilt the engine, fitted it back to the transmission, and tested and retested it for torque and efficient operation. Rather than stop, I continued on figuring I could use Bob’s home as a base to diagnose and fix the engine.

Bob had done quite well in his career. He’d become a sought-after management consultant who specialized in using information technology to turn businesses around or make them more competitive. About three years earlier, he’d left the Boston firm he’d been with since graduation to teach, write a book, and do freelance work more of his own choosing. He’d also moved to Camp Forge to be near a circle of friends.

As I pulled up in front of the pretty home about five o’clock. Bob heard me coming and was waiting for me on the front stoop of the house. He hefted a two-year old boy onto his shoulders, and the two of them came down the front steps of the house to greet me full of smiles and laughter.

Bob cheerfully greeted me with a man hug, and a string of welcoming comments: “Jim, you’re finally here! Hurray! Welcome. You haven’t changed a bit. How long has it been? Come and meet everyone.”

I too greeted my friend, and then looked at the young boy on his shoulders. Bob said, “This fine young chap on my shoulders is part of my family – Benjamin meet Jim Mellon.” The boy tentatively put out his hand to me. I reached up and shook the tiny hand of the tot. Too much time had passed since the last time we’d seen each other; had Bob started a second-generation family since we’d last really talked?

Bob took a serious tone for a moment as Benjamin silently watched me; “Jim, we were all so sorry to hear about Karen – so young and so beautiful. If there’s anything any of us can do...” his voice trailed off.

I said with some force, “What’s done is done. The family and I are trying to move on. Karen made us all promise not to grieve over her passing, but right now that’s still hard to do. I am still in shock; such a love, and yet she’s gone.” I thought for a moment and added, “And, thank you and your family and friends for the flowers and the cards, and the donation to Karen’s favorite charity. I appreciated your thoughtfulness.”

The front door opened and an attractive, leggy, young blond woman came out with the most gorgeous smile. Bob introduced us as she walked up to us; “Jim, this is June; June, Jim.” He omitted giving me any hint of his relationship to June; had he assumed I already knew more than I did? I acknowledged the pretty woman with a smile. Much to my surprise, June came and put her arms around me, and planted a generous kiss on my lips – and then followed it up with another. She looked me in the eyes and hugged me close. I automatically put my arms around her as she pressed her body against me. This welcome wouldn’t be forgotten anytime soon.

As we parted, I apologized for my ruddy and unshaven appearance. I hadn’t been near hot water for two days, so my shaving seemed to fall by the wayside. June laughed it off, telling me I looked and felt ‘manly.’ She took a happy Benjamin from Bob’s shoulders, and gave Bob a sizzling kiss as she did. The two adults smiled happily and romantically at each other. I knew Bob had been and I assumed was still married to Trish, so what the heck was going on here? My head was spinning with questions.

From little Benjamin’s behavior with her, I discerned that she was Benjamin’s mother. I studied the tot and Bob to see whether I could discern any family resemblance but could find none. June put Benjamin down, held his small hand, and started to walk the toddler up the driveway up to a breezeway between Bob’s house and one next door.

I looked puzzled and gestured to the walkway. Bob volunteered, “We have an intentional family and use the two houses as one; one had been Jan’s – whom you’ll meet momentarily since she just got home from work. The other home came on the market at just the right time for us. Connecting the two houses with a covered breezeway seemed the thing to do given how severe the winters can be around here, and we’re back and forth all the time.”

The door of the house next door opened again, and an attractive and sharply dressed woman near Bob’s and my age came out. We got warm smiles as she walked up to us.

Bob spoke again as she neared us, “Jim, this is Jan. She’s a new vice-president for Alperion.” She came up to Bob, and gave him a sultry kiss on the lips that even gave me a twinge in my groin. She quickly moved to face me, and then as June did, gave me a couple of kisses of welcome that I’m sure were against the law in at least half the states. I could feel them all the way to my toes, especially as they gave me an even more significant twinge to that part of my anatomy halfway down my body.

I looked at her with a grin as we pulled apart. I asked, “Wow, do all the women in your intentional family welcome long lost fraternity brothers with such enthusiasm?”

Bob laughed and said, “I’ll explain that a little later. For now, bring your gear – let me help – and come on inside. I’m about to have some wine. What could I get you?”

We sat around enjoying some cocktails – June and Jan joined us, and eventually another man named Jim also came home from his job at Alperion. He also got significant welcome hugs and kisses from both women. To reduce confusion, I volunteered to become ‘James’ for my visit. Eventually, Bob fired up a grill and barbequed some chicken and steaks for our dinner. Benjamin sat happy watching TV on a sofa where everyone could keep an eye on him.

I explained to Bob that I wanted to work the next day on my motorcycle because of its rough running at certain speeds. He accommodated my needs by leaving his car out of one bay of the garage and helping me move my bike under cover. He marveled at the renovation job on the motorcycle, and expressed his own desire to go ‘two wheels.’

Over the course of our evening talk, I learned that Bob’s wife Trish still worked in Boston and ‘super commuted’ up there most weeks for three or four nights away at a time. He expected Trish home the following afternoon. I knew his wife Trish; Bob and I had been groomsmen at each other’s weddings from years earlier, and while I’d seen Bob on some of my travels over the past decade or so, I hadn’t seen Trish since their wedding.

After dinner, I tried to figure out who matched up with whom regarding all the family members. Bob was still married to Trish, but June nearly sat in Bob’s lap rubbing his thigh and probably more when I looked elsewhere. Jim sat with his arm comfortably around Jan, who’d changed into casual clothes, with his hand seductively rubbing her shoulder and back.

I’d figured out that June was definitely Benjamin’s mother, so I politely asked the question of Bob in an aside as June listened, “Are you Benjamin’s father?”

Bob and June laughed, and pointed to Jim, “No, he is.” Bob volunteered, “You know Trish and I had our kids young: David is still in college, and can you believe Julie just started law school in Chicago.”

I tried to hide my confusion, by asking more questions about Benjamin, “He’s two years old, but is it normal that he chatters so much at that age?” I directed our part of the conversation into a few questions about child development much to the delight of the four other adults who all seemed to own a piece of Benjamin.

The relationships in their circle baffled me, and I wondered how much Trish knew about the hanky-panky that appeared to be going on when she wasn’t home. I hoped I hadn’t stumbled into some awkward, and newly unfolding ‘family situation.’ It’d be just my luck to be around when some family explosion took place. My bewilderment deepened when Jan announce that she planned to head off to bed because she had a breakfast meeting.

Jan stood and came up behind Jim; she leaned in and kissed him quite passionately. I couldn’t quite hear what she said, but from Jim’s look back at her with a smile, it had been a seductive invitation from her. She moved a bit and kissed June on the lips in more than just a friendly kiss. I’d seen women kiss before, and this was no casual goodnight kiss. Lastly, Jan kissed Bob, and then gave me a peck on the lips with a teasing wink.

Jim had looked on with a smile, and then he leaned over and kissed June. He announced, “I think I’ll join her. I’ve got a long day coming up too, but I’ll be home at the normal time tomorrow night.”

Jan held out her hand, and Jim held it as they strolled into the larger of the two connected homes.

If they weren’t going to have sex, I’d be a monkey’s uncle. I pondered the craziness of what had just transpired. I looked from Bob to June, but neither displayed any concern or dismay.

To further divert the conversation, I asked, “By the way, which sofa am I sleeping on?”

June said almost as though I’d insulted her, “Oh, you’re in a good bed in a guest room upstairs.” She pointed to the smaller home. It’s even got its own in suite bath.

I mumbled something about needing to turn in early, as I got up early to exercise. Bob and June talked briefly and agreed it was time to turn in.

At our agreed time, Bob and June joined me outside for our morning run. Before we pushed off, June gave me an amazing Good Morning kiss that I felt from head to toe, and that I thought might have melted the soles of my running shoes. There was no further explanation or words, just a fabulous kiss to start the day. The kiss made me feel so good all over.

No one else in the two houses was up when we left, but when we returned forty minutes later, Jim was feeding Benjamin as he sat at the table in a high chair with Cheerios spread across a wide swath in front of him. Jan had already left for work. June willingly took over from Jim, gave him a loving kiss, and he immediately headed out the door to work too after bidding us all goodbye with smile.

After breakfast, I tried to entertain Benjamin while Bob and June obviously showered together. June came down in casual summer shorts and took Benjamin to drop him off at a playgroup for most of the day. Bob excused himself to do some ‘real work’ for one of his consulting clients, and to work on an article he wanted to submit to the Harvard Business Review. His office door soon clicked shut with a clear signal of ‘Do Not Disturb.’

I found a peaceful place in the backyard for meditation. I’d started to use this practice everyday, finding that I got more and more out of it, and finding myself more at peace with what had happened. After that, I went into the garage and started to diagnose the sputtering problem with the motorcycle.

The Harley ran rough and unevenly at unpredictable intervals. I checked a few obvious things: oil and air filters, ignition spark, and so on. These all seemed in order. I took the bike out to a nearby Interstate and opened it up to see whether the problem still existing after having sat overnight, but the bike nearly stalled.

I got back to the house about the time June returned with a few groceries that I helped her carry into the kitchen. I went back to work, and June soon brought me a cup of coffee. She walked into the garage barefoot, and dressed in her Daisy Mae shorts with a man’s shirt knotted just under her full breasts. A vision of loveliness, she could have walked off a movie set. I wondered whether pretty women like June were aware of the effect they had on men.

She pulled up a stool so we could talk as I worked on the motorcycle. She sat close to me, inside my personal space; at first, I felt surprised, but then I realized I welcomed her close and very feminine presence. June had bubbly and upbeat personality, so I took pains to keep up my end of the conversation so she wouldn’t get bored and leave. I ended revealing many of my feelings about the past six months, mostly since Karen started to get sick. June was sensitive and sympathetic.

Often, I’d catch a glimpse of most of a breast, or the wonderful darkness between her legs. Once, I caught her watching my eyes, as she seemed to purposely move her legs in a provocative gesture. Could she be flirting with me? I convinced myself she was just being natural and unaware of her revelations.

As our conversation continued, and seemed to become a little more personal, I worked up my courage to pry a little. “June, err, this is a little awkward, but does Trish know ... you know, about you guys swapping while she’s away? I don’t want to spill any beans when she comes back tonight by saying something stupid by accident.”

June’s eyes got as big as saucers. “Oh, ... wait, I thought Bob had explained our relationship to you.”

“I know nothing except the swap I saw between the four of you yesterday and this morning; that plus knowing that Trish is in Boston.”

June smiled, “Well, the short answer is ‘Yes – full disclosure.’ There’s more though, that you should know. The five of us – our ‘Circle’ as we call ourselves – don’t consider any of this ‘swapping.’ We believe that’s a term reserved for swingers or people that use sex for recreational purposes without any love attached to it. I hope the love we show for each other shows? And, to your question, Trish is as involved in this as the rest of us.”

“Oh, the love you have ... it does show. It does. I’m sorry, ... I didn’t mean to imply...”

“No, that’s all right. I expect some of our neighbors think we’re swingers too. We don’t hide our interplay with each other. If people ask, we tell them we’re in a ‘Polyamorous Relationship:’ Poly meaning many, and Amory meaning love; so being in a polyamorous relationship means being one of many people who love each other. About three percent of the Nation’s households live this way, and up to fifteen percent of the population have lived this way at some time in their lives.”

I allowed as how that was a dream or fantasy for many people too. June smiled and said, “So I guess we’re living our dream. We’ve been this way for almost four years, and we’re all thriving in it.”

Our conversation went in other directions for a while, mostly while I processed the idea of a family union of five people. Bob had used the term ‘intentional family,’ and now it started to make a little more sense. June fixed me lunch, and continued to hang out with me. I felt flattered; I knew she could be doing other things, but she chose to be with me. Our conversation ranged all over the place: losing Karen, widowhood, my sister, her family, her part-time work, my old job, riding the bike across the country and seeing each state, and what I might do when my trip ended. June was easy to talk to, and I thought we both really liked each other.

June proudly talked about her sister Kim who had a pilot’s license and ran a large hi-tech energy company in North Carolina. She told me about how she’d orchestrated Kim and her older boyfriend Ron’s reunion after a breakup. “Kim and Ron come by and stay with us from time to time; they are such nice people, and we love them. We consider them part of our ‘Circle’ too; they share our philosophy about relationships.”

I said, “Philosophy?”

June replied, “Well, basically, that you can love more than one person at a time – in all ways.”

Just as I started to think how insightful June’s last comment was, June lit up like a Christmas tree. “Jim, you’ve got to stop and see Kim, and Ron if he’s there, on your way south. You’ll go right by them, and they’d love to meet you. You’re fascinating, and so are they. I can set it all up. Kim, Ron, and you would get along so well. He’s a pilot too, and knows a lot about engines.” She gestured to my dissembled carburetor with her last comment.

June told me more about Kim and her husband Ron, including some background on her booming solar technology company. She talked about their homes in Chapel Hill and Florida, and how I’d love that side of the ‘family.’ She spoke with such enthusiasm that I reluctantly agreed to stop in, if it wouldn’t be an inconvenience. One purpose of my trip was to meet interesting people. June assured me it wouldn’t be an inconvenience, but at my insistence she would check with her sister to be sure she could cope with an unexpected guest stopping by in a few days.

As our conversation became more and more revealing about each other, I asked June about the bisexuality of the relationships in the house.

She said, “First, the guys aren’t bisexual, so you can uncross your legs.” She laughed at her own humor, and went on, “If you’d told me four years ago that I had bisexual tendencies, I would have laughed you off the planet. But then I met Jan about the same time she met Bob. Bob and Jan’s relationship had just moved from professional to romantic ... and sexual. He’d gone back to Boston for some meetings at the consulting company he worked for, and Jan needed some relief. I worked for her. We had a romantic dinner, one thing led to another, and we made love and over a relatively short time fell in love. I learned that I could love another woman if she loved me the way Jan did.”

I asked, “And then Trish?”

“Well, initially our circle consisted of Bob and Jan and me. Next, Bob brought Jim down from Boston to work on another project at Alperion too; he’d worked in the same consulting company Bob did. Soon after, Jim became one of our lovers – I really took a shine to him and so did Jan, so Bob orchestrated Jim becoming part of the relationship. A few weeks later, Bob brought Trish down from Boston and our fivesome got started over a long holiday weekend. She’d known about our triad and then foursome from the very start. Trish is a high-powered advertising exec in Boston, but with accounts all over the country. I worried about what adding another woman to our mix would be, but everything just got better because of her being with us.”

With a smile, I reminded her that I knew Trish and had been in Bob’s wedding to her many years earlier. Bob was about four years older than me because he did a stint in the Army before he started college.

June emoted at her forgetfulness about my past relationship with Bob and Trish. As she swung her arms around the shirttails of her blouse tied across her chest came undone as she threw her head back in laughter. Her breasts didn’t show however; from neck to navel, I could see her smooth skin with the obvious slopes to her mounds clearly evident. My eyes must have widened.

June looked down, realized what had happened, smiled, and said nonchalantly, “I’m used to being pretty casual about everyone’s nakedness and sexuality around here. We’re a lusty and loving bunch. If the way I’m dressed bothers you, I can leave or put on more conservative clothing.”

I expressed my joy and happiness with her style of dress and her relaxed view about displaying her wares. To that end, June flashed me her breasts, laughed, and then re-tied the knot in her shirttails. I stuck my lower lip out as the eye candy disappeared. She had beautiful breasts. June liked that she had flashed me.

As we continued to talk, I tinkered with the motorcycle. June said something about Kim and Ron being part of the ‘circle.’

I pushed for more details, “Your sister too?”

“Yes, that happened before Benjamin started when I took Kim’s boyfriend Ron down to North Carolina to patch things up with Kim. They hit a rough patch before they barely got started. The rest of us could see the light, so I intervened. We ... well, things just took a natural course and besides Kim and Ron getting back together, the three of us got involved with each other, and that led to their coming up here to be with all of us more often. They’re very open about their relationships too, yet so in love with each other, it’s sometimes sickening.” She made a face and laughed hard again; her shirt opened up again. I felt my pants tighten as the edge of her areolas briefly flashed.

June completed the thought, “We don’t see Kim and Ron nearly enough. They’re always welcome and always loved when they’re here. You will love the two of them.”

June disappeared in mid-afternoon to retrieve Benjamin from his playgroup with some other two-year olds. After they returned the sun came out. June got me to take a walk with Benjamin and her for a couple of blocks to a playground where the tot played on swings, slides, and teeter-totters aimed at his age group. He basked in the attention and readily accepted me as another one of his daddies.

As we walked and watched Benjamin running around, I asked June about how she thought Benjamin would think about the circle, as he got older.