Chapter 9: Human Interactions

Caleb was sitting in the food court, drinking a large bottle of water, when he called JJ.

"Hello," a male voice answered.

"Hello," Caleb replied politely. "My name is Caleb Connor. I was told that I could reach JJ ... um ... Doctor Janus at this number. Is she available?" Caleb asked politely.

Caleb assumed the male that answered was Blake, JJ's sixteen year old son, but the voice seemed a lot deeper than he expected it to be. Based on what Caleb had learned the evening before, the only other man in her life was her father.

"She's not here right now," the male voice said, noticeably cooler than it was when the phone was answered.

"Ohh-kayy," Caleb said, drawing out the word. "Can I leave a message for her? I'm supposed to contact her about this evening."

"I'll let her know you called," the voice replied, sounding more angry than cold. "You're canceling tonight, right?"

Now, Caleb was sure that the angry voice was JJ's son. He didn't need an alien in his head to know that an angry teen acts different than an angry adult. Unfortunately, his Companion couldn't tell him what caused the anger while he was talking on the phone. Caleb would have to handle the situation the old fashion way, and rely on experience and training to defuse the boy's anger.

"I hadn't planned on canceling," Caleb said, faking a surprised tone in his voice. "Do you think I should cancel? I mean, is there something about her that I don't know about, that is reason enough to cancel?" he asked, trying to sound as worried as possible.

"Uh ... I don't know," Blake said, sounding confused, and clearly showing his age.

"Does she have a prison record, or something like that?" Caleb asked. "A condition of my job is that I'm not supposed to associate with felons," he explained helpfully.

"Mom's never been to prison, and she isn't a felon," Blake said defensively.

"Oh, good," Caleb said, sounding relieved. "Does she do something that, if she was caught, she would be a felon?" he asked, trying to sound accusing while stifling his laughter.

"NO! Mom doesn't do anything to break the law," Blake protested.

"How about things that might not be against the law, but are still in bad taste? Does she do anything like that?" Caleb pressed. "I have a reputation that I have to protect, you know," he concluded primly.

"Mom doesn't do anything in bad taste," Blake protested, sounding angrier than he had been at the start of the conversation. "Anyone going anyplace with her would be proud, and it would boost THEIR reputation," he protested, defending his Mom's reputation.

"Oh. Good. Well then, I guess I'm not canceling tonight. Thanks for the information. Your Mom has my number. Would you ask her to call me, so I know what time to pick her up?"

"Umm ... Yeah, sure ... I'll tell her," Blake said, uncertain about what had just happened.

"Thank you," Caleb said. "I hope I'll get to meet you tonight."

"I'll be here," Blake replied, trying to sound hard again, but still sounding uncertain.

"Good. I look forward to meeting you," Caleb replied. "Thanks. Goodbye," Caleb said, and hit the end button on the phone to break the connection.

Caleb looked at the phone and thought, "That didn't go too bad. I hope it goes better tonight, though."

"He didn't sound friendly," Al observed. "He has never met you. Why was he unfriendly?"

"He is a teenager," Caleb explained drily. "Teenagers don't need a reason to be angry or unfriendly. Look at my memories from my teen years. The fact that my Dad didn't kick me out of the house is a testament to the strength of a parent's love. I was a jerk. I've learned that keeping them off balance is the best tool to keeping them in line."

"So, when you meet this teenage person, will you have to do that again?" Al asked.

"I know that you've assimilated all my memories," Caleb replied. "Memories are more than individual data points. They are connected. An individual memory has no meaning without the context of all the memories that come before and after. That's called experience. Of course I'll have to do it again. I'll have to do it all over again the next time I see him, too. If JJ and I click, I'll continue trying to keep him off balance, until he turns human again."

"I just got settled in your mind," Al said defensively. "I haven't had time to study all your memories. I was too busy trying to organize the mess of your memories. I'm surprised that you could even function before I came along. Humans are the most confused, illogical, inconsistent species that I have ever encountered. I don't understand how humans have advanced so quickly. However, back to the subject of an even more erratic segment of your species; teenagers. I can see by your thoughts that what you really mean is that humans go through a phase that makes them less civilized and even more erratic than normal."

"If you don't like it in my head, then you're more than welcome to find another ride," Caleb said angrily in his mind. "You want chaos and confusion? Check out the minds of any of these teens. Evolution set a biological clock in humans that makes it nearly imperative to reproduce during our teen years. Society established a completely different set of rules that forces different schedules that are counter to the evolutionary rules. We have to live by the societal rules. Adults understand it, sort of, but teens sure don't. Teens are caught in the middle. Welcome to the human race. Now, if you don't like it, get off the track."

"What does that mean?" Al asked, just as angry. "I can't tell what you mean when your thoughts are so clouded with emotion."

"Good! Get used to it! I've got a feeling that I'm going to spend most of my time angry, with you in my head," Caleb yelled in his mind, not noticing that he had growled under his breath. "This is worse than being married! A wife only gets mad at what you say or don't say. With you, I've got to watch what I think, too! Just let me know when you've had enough, and we'll find another fool that will let you in their head!"

"Hey, Mister," one of the teens sitting at the table said uneasily, trying to get his attention. "Are you okay?"

"Sure, Kid. I'm just friggin' great," Caleb snapped angrily.

"Well, you're making faces, and you sounded like you were growling at us," the teen said, nervously.

"Let's move to another table," a different teen said. "Adults are too weird, and a little scary, too."

"There's no other tables open to eat at, but a machine might be open at the Gameshop," the third teen said. "Let's get out of here before he goes postal on us."

Caleb watched the three teens hurriedly leave the table.

"Did you scare them away on purpose?" Al asked.

"I did not scare them away!" Caleb protested.

"Honey, do you mind if we share the table with you?" a velvety female voice asked.

"Not at all," Caleb responded before looking up.

The woman stood about five-five, and weighed at least two hundred fifty pounds. She looked like she had a forty inch chest, but her stomach was bigger. And she wasn't pregnant. She was patting her hair in place, but it didn't help. Her hair was straw-blonde, and looked like it was about the same texture. She was smiling, and giving Caleb 'the eye'.

Three kids were with her. The youngest was in a stroller, and had most of a strawberry ice cream cone on the side of his face. A little girl, about seven, was clinging to a strap hanging from one side of the woman's belt. She looked like she was wearing most of a chocolate bar. The oldest, a tow-headed boy, was clinging to another strap on the other side of the woman. He was about ten, and he had a sullen look about him.

"I think she's flirting with you, Caleb," Al hooted in Caleb's mind.

"I wish your space ship had landed on me," Caleb answered in resignation.

"It looks like you'll have a table full, and I was just leaving anyway," Caleb continued to the woman. "Merry Christmas.

"What did you mean by that crack?" the woman demanded with her fists on her substantial hips.

'The eye' that she was giving him before had turned into twin lasers of anger.

"Nothing, Ma'am," Caleb said hurriedly. "I know how rambunctious three kids can be. Managing them will be easier if you have a table to yourself," he concluded in a placating manner.

"Are you saying my kids are trouble makers?" the woman screeched.

"No, Ma'am," Caleb said desperately.

"What's the problem here?" a male voice asked sternly.

Caleb looked around, and a large security guard was standing behind him.

"He called me fat, and said my kids are trouble makers," the woman screeched.

"I ... I ... I..." Caleb stammered.

"Sir," the security guard said threateningly. "I'll have to ask you to move along."

"Thank you, Officer," Caleb replied fervently before grabbing his bags, and wondering if shaking the man's hand would be showing too much gratitude. "Thank you very much," he said, deciding that shaking the security guards hand would make the woman angrier, and hurried away.

He looked over his shoulder once. The woman was giving the security guard 'the eye'. Caleb had to smile as the security guard put one hand up in a stopping gesture and hurriedly began backing away.

"I would go home and have a drink before my date tonight," Caleb commented sourly to his passenger. "However, since a certain alien decided to mess with my life, I might as well be drinking water."