Chapter 1

Now I'm an old fart, 58 crippled up and broken to the point that I'm physically a waste of good air but my mind is still 25. I can't have kids, I can't achieve an erection on my own and when I squeeze the button to get it up manually it's a joke.

Yes, I have a penile implant. The doctors all said it would be as close to real as possible but they lied. Maybe 4 inches and the head don't even swell and what's worse is I can't even feel it. I was a normal sized guy before, probably 6-7 inches. Big enough to be able to use it in any position and now this little thing was supposed to make me happy? Now in the doctor's defense the not being able to feel it was because of a broke back not the surgery.

Prostate cancer killed the erection 10 years back and then about the time I was coming to terms with living without my little friend to hold I broke my back along with everything else in a motorcycle wreck. I had gotten a divorce right after the cancer episode so I'm single, over 50, impotent which is bad enough when trying to date but then I go and bust up my back.

So now that you understand a little bit about my issue let me tell you I still want sex. Can't have it, can't even feel it and no amount of porn or fantasy seems to get me there but I never once stopped thinking about it.

I can walk but I'm stooped over and I can't walk far or fast. I've lost most of my muscle tone after laying in the hospital for 7 months and no amount of rehab will ever make me buff again. I play golf a few times a week as long as it's dry enough for me to drive the cart all the way to the ball. Can't hit it far, maybe 180 or 190 yards off the tee on a really great hit but I somehow manage to shoot 90 from time to time. That's about all the exercise I get so I'm not expecting to win any hard body competitions.

I own my own business and make a good living and live a very boring life. My business does well enough to run without me thank goodness or it would have failed with my hospital stay but I still liked going in and at least acting like I'm needed. Without work I would go crazy sitting home but still I decided I need to either shit or get off the pot so I put an ad on a few web sites for a companion. Not an escort but a full time "live in", friend with benefits.

So I just put it out there. "30 to 40 year old attractive down on her luck woman needed to be my room mate. I will support you while you get on your feet and you will support me on my quest for a fantasy life in spite of my handicap."

Now as you would assume I didn't get a lot of responses but I did get a few. Some were funny and some where just down right sad but one young lady just blew me away.

Now she was younger than I really wanted to deal with, mid to late 20's. I would have preferred someone who at least knew something about life in the 70's other than some stupid TV show but none the less she convinced me. Medium height, slim but not skinny and nice tits just the right size to not need a bra but would fill out my hand real nice but most of all, the clincher was her ass. I just wanted to eat that ass all up.

She had an idiot for a boyfriend who destroyed whatever self esteem she had and due to his slapping her around she couldn't seem to keep a job much less build a career and with no family to fall back on she was desperate. My heart went out to her even as my mind was kissing all over her cute little ass.

Yes I'm a perv. Sorry, no matter what my heart and brain may have felt my eyes were on that ass and the thought of burying my face between those cheeks and tasting that sweet ... ah sorry, I'll save that for the story.

Trying to let my big head do the thinking I explained how things were going to be or at least aspire to be. She would get a job, I would help her find one if need be then she would save her money and learn to be responsible. She would have no bills as I would be taking care of all that so it shouldn't take her too long to get going on her own and in the meantime she would help me.

Help me you wonder? I have no idea what that would entail and I told her so. This was a fishing trip without a boat or tackle and maybe a few miles from the nearest body of water. Hopeless but I wanted to try. I explained to her that I have no idea what my kinks were. Wasn't sure I even had any but surely there was something I could try that would tickle my fancy.

She was desperate but I didn't want to scare her away or disgust her but I had to stay in control so I explained the rules. "No" was not a word she could use, she could let me know something really turned her off or even flat out disgusted her but if I insisted she had to do it.

She was to put all her trust in me or go on down the road. Not very fair of me but I knew what she didn't, I was too soft hearted to ever hurt anyone and the idea of doing something to someone knowing they were turned off by it just wasn't in the cards but I needed to know I could push her to try new things.

I could see the fear and desperation both fighting each other to see who would win so I decided to help. I told her to sit down and not speak, I wasn't going to hurt her or even touch her but I was going to show her what she was dealing with. So I stripped down and showed her my problem. Now I've got large balls, when it's warm they hang lower then my friend even when he was healthy so there I am lying back on the couch.

Hairy old fart with my junk all out on display in front of a pretty young thing all dressed and scared to death. So in a very matter of fact way I showed her my dead friend. I showed her my problem up close and personal. Showed her my broken busted body and all of its scars and in doing so I opened my soul to her.

I was asking her to put her trust in me and show her she had nothing to fear from me. I could never rape her. I was harmless in that regard and where I didn't hope to ever turn her on I hope that I would never disgust her.

I needed her and she needed me. I showed her how I squeezed the button in my ball sack and brought my friend up to speed more or less. Showed her how small and wasted it was and started crying. Just broke and lost it.

Here I was trying to take control and be the boss and I just flat out blew it. By baring my soul to her I opened the door and everything just rushed out. I told her how lost I was with no hope of ever finding my way.

I wanted to feel. Anything, any kind of emotion, anything other than just breathing. Anger, fear, joy, excitement, all things that make you knows you're alive. I don't get mad at anything and fear? I don't fear pain, I live with more than most people ever imagine and death just seems to maybe be relief. Joy? Excitement? I can't fathom how to find those emotions.

So here I am naked on the couch with a hard little friend sticking up crying my heart out and she reaches out and touches me. Now I'm not talking about my arm here. She reaches out and touches my dick. I don't feel the touch but I felt the movement so I look and here she is lightly touching my dick. The look on her face is not disgust but curiosity.

She caught my eye and smiled, then said "Close your eyes and tell me what you feel." I explained to her that I could feel pressure but not a light touch and how I could feel heat or cold but not touch.

She laughed and said "Prove it." It wasn't a cruel laugh, she wasn't lauging at me but with a innocent laugh that reminded me of a child.

I asked "How" and she just said "Close your eyes and don't peek." She then took a drink of the ice tea I had given her and then she wrapped her lips around my dick and moved her tongue around and then sat back and waited for her mouth to warm up and did it some more. She would ask me each time she tried something new if I felt this or that.

She just played with me like a new toy to explore. Here was a dick to play with that didn't scare her. When pumped up it would stay that way for hours or even days, it wouldn't go down till you pushed the down button. Like having your own small dildo attached to a living man.

And so it started, this strange relationship. She said "Yes, I'll do whatever you ask." "I'll trust you and I will help you find what you're looking for".

I was overcome with relief and fear both. I felt something, I was alive after all. I stood up and got dressed, I was not ready to try anything else at this stage.

I helped her get moved in and over the next few days managed to get her a job and we settled into a normal routine. I left for work most mornings around 5 and didn't get home till 6 and then I would settle on the porch with a book and read for a while then I would settle in bed and watch whatever show I had recorded and go to sleep. Hearing her move around and talking on the phone to her various friends was comforting in a way. I wasn't alone.

One day I'm on the porch reading and she comes outside dressed the way kids dress today. Short shorts and some sort of tank top. I could tell without really even looking that she didn't have a bra on.

It was warm out yet her nipples were poking out. I was trying not to stare but we she turned to stare out over the water (I have a 2 acre pond in front of the house) I took a good look at her ass. Now I'm an ass man all the way and this was a fine ass.

So here I am just drooling over this sweet child's ass when all the sudden she just grabbed the shorts and pulled them down and stepped out of them. Now my house is on the middle of over a 100 acres and I have no neighbors within a mile of the house. You can't see the road or any house and even if some neighbor kid was playing with a telescope you couldn't see my house because of all the trees so I wasn't worried about anyone watching all this.

She turned to me and said "I know your staring at my ass so I thought I'd make it easier for you."

I'm speechless. My tongue was probably hanging out.

She said "I thought you were going to want me to help you in your needs and yet the last few weeks I barely see you. I assume you like what you see and yet you haven't so much as hinted any interest."

"Crap girl," I said, "If you want to talk then get dressed, somehow I don't think my brain will have enough oxygen to operate with you standing there half neked."

She laughed and proceeded to take off her shirt. "Ok", she said "Now I'm not half naked!"

Smiling I replied that all though we both knew I wasn't capable of rape and she could probably outrun me without much effort I was strong enough to hold her if I ever got my hands on her so she better keep out of my reach or she was in trouble.

Laughing back at me she said with this very teasing voice, "Well so what, you grab me and then what would you do?"

Willing to play her game I replied, "Girl, my little friend may not be able to dive into you but my tongue can. I'd eat you till you screamed for mercy and then I'd do it some more."