Chapter 32

All too soon it was the end of February, and time for goodbyes, again. When we had our last night together, I had to admit to myself that that I loved the both of them. Even if it was not the same kind of love I'd had with Marie or the same kind of fully complementary love they felt for each other, it was love. Last summer I had been sure that I would never really feel love again. Now I was not so sure anymore. Unfortunately that also meant that there were a whole lot of tears connected with our goodbyes. Maybe that was not so bad after all. Driving the girls to their new hometown was also a weekend-trip for Lily and me. During our drive back Lily was much quieter than usual. When she did talk it was something that she had probably been thinking quite a lot about.

"Daddy, if my own mommy isn't coming back, why can't you find a new mommy for me that would stay with us? I would like that."

That hurt. That really hurt.

"Angel, I promise that I'll try to do that."

I then fought back the tears for the rest of the journey. It took just one question from my daughter to remind me that I was not the only one hurting.

During March my business exploded. As the patent applications became public, two companies contacted me and wanted to buy them, outright. I declined, and instead managed make an agreement to license the patents to both of them. Those contracts made it necessary for our little company to rent a small office. There would be space for about ten people. I agreed with the lady that I had been using, that she could run her bookkeeping business from there. She would also be the mother hen to the developers that would be working there. Since I was studying and taking care of Lily, I would visit the place only occasionally.

In order to make sure that my workers stayed committed, they all were made part-owners of the company. Since the general business trend was slow but steady, now, they all were quite happy. As I was now able to pay off the small amount of mortgage debt that remained, I was quite happy, too.

At least, happy when it came to business. I knew that there were girls interested in me at the college, but I was not interested in them. I did talk and socialize with them, which only made me well aware of how immature they were. The words Lily had said to me were still sounding loudly inside my head, though.

Everything changed on April Fool's Day, when our doorbell rang. Since it was Sunday and I had seen my aunty and Beth just a day before I could not figure out who would be visiting us. As I was putting our breakfast dishes in the dishwasher Lily beat me by a mile, running to the door. I was just washing my hands and looking for a towel when I heard the door open.

"Hi, my name is Lily. Who are you?"

"Hmmm? Oh, hi. I'm sorry, I probably have the wrong address, sorry."

My heart knew that voice before my overloaded brains could react. To my horror I could hear my precocious daughter politely answering to her.

"That's oo-kay. Bye."

I yelled so loudly that I was probably heard in neighboring county!

"Sara, wait!"

I heard the door closing as I ran, my hands still dripping water. I rushed past a confused Lily, and opened the door. Sara must have heard something as she was standing a few feet away.

"Sara, wait. Don't go."

She turned to look at me and only then I realized myself that I was in fact wearing an apron. I looked at her and she looked at me and my hands that were still dripping water. Why didn't I just dry my hands to the apron? I did just that while she simply watched me. Then I looked at her again. She looked almost the same as she had, a bit over five years ago. Was it that long? Then I found my voice again.

"Why don't you come in? I'd like to talk to you."

There was some sadness in her. I could see it now.

"No, I'd better not. I don't want to disturb your family."

"You have already seen my whole family, and I'm sure Lily would not mind you coming in."

I turned to look down at Lily who had been watching our discussion. She shook her head.

"No, daddy."

"You see? Please, I insist."

I turned to look at Sara again, and she looked at my pleading face and the little girl standing next to me, and actually smiled a bit. I felt my heart jump when I saw that smile.

"Hi, Lily. My name is Sara. Is it ok with you that I come in?"

"I guess. How old are you? I'm almost five years old!"

"I'm twenty-three, a year older than your daddy."

I could see that Sara was doing calculations inside her head but she didn't say anything. But Lily seemed to have a mission.

"Good, then you are not too old for daddy. Mrs. Fraser would be nice, but she's too old, and she's already married."

I guess my jaw dropped, but Sara just started laughing. She was still laughing a bit when I took her jacket and helped her in. Then she turned to me.

"Your daughter has saved you from one question, but there are still several other things I'd like to know. On the other hand, it might not be fair to tease you with questions, before you know some things."

Suddenly she seemed sad again. Only then did I remember her mother.

"Sara, how is your mother?"

Her sadness deepened.

"She died soon after I graduated from college. She was so happy to see me graduate, but she died three weeks after that."

"I'm so sorry, Sara."

I hugged her and held her close for a moment as she cried a bit. But then she pushed herself to arms length. There it was again. That haunted look in her eyes. The same that had been there the first time we met. Lily had gone back to watching TV, but occasionally she looked in our direction.

"Eric, you just cannot really care about me after you hear what I have been doing."

She took a deep breath before speaking again, with low voice and a whole lot of intensity.

"I have been an unofficial company whore. A I slept with several men to promote our business!"

I looked at her eyes and she held her challenging gaze. Her eyes looked a bit harder now than they had been five years ago. I scanned my heart for what I felt for her. It seemed that she also felt something for me, as it had taken a lot of effort to find me, and a lot of nerve to come to see me. I almost smiled when I responded.

"Okay. Would you stop doing that if I asked you to?"

She looked at me and just blinked her eyes a couple of times. By looking at her I could almost follow the line of thought when she started to understand the full meaning of my question.

"Of course, but..."

I put my finger to her lips to silence her.

"Sara, I hope that we have the rest of our lives for those serious discussions; but I promised Lily that today we would go to the park and play. It would be very nice if you could join us."

Sara looked almost shocked about the way things had turned out but she managed to nod. I smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

"Good, I hope that you are not in any great hurry to leave?"

"No, I have been saving my holidays. But..."

I had to stop her again with my finger.

"Do you have a hotel room or something? If so, please cancel it, as you will be staying here."

"No, I didn't have anything arranged. I wanted to come here, first. But I have some luggage in my car."

I turned and looked at Lily who was now watching us instead of the TV."

"Angel, is it ok with you if Sara comes with us to the park?"

"I guess."

"Fine, I'll help Sara get her stuff inside. Once she changes into some suitable clothes, we can get going."

"Oo-kay, Daddy."

In the following half hour, we got Sara's stuff inside the house. Then she changed into something that was suitable for visiting the park with a continuously moving almost five-year-old girl.

It turned out that while Lily did want to play, she was also interested in Sara. She talked to Sara, and also wanted to include her in all the play and in the games we were playing and I found her watching Sara more often than usual. Sara was a bit confused in the beginning, but I guess nobody could really resist Lily when she picked someone as her playmate. I couldn't really talk to Sara while we were playing with my Angel, but I enjoyed seeing how well Sara interacted with her.

It was back at home in our kitchen while we were making our dinner that I finally had time to give Sara a quick summary about my life after she had left. From the look she had, I knew that she did the math concerning Lily, even if she didn't ask. But she looked angry when she heard about what Marie had done.

"I cannot believe that she could do that to the two of you. First cheat on you and then when given one more chance, she just abandoned you! I'm so sorry!"

And then she hugged me with passion and I was quite happy to respond to it. Suddenly she started to weep.