Strange Bonds

I should have told her not to do it.

That would have been the sane thing. The friend thing. Maybe even the loving thing, if I was allowed to call what I felt love.

Instead I sat there with my knee pressed against hers, feeling sickly proud that she was asking me. Like what Dan had done to me had left behind something useful. Some private knowledge of pain, trust, and being opened up that Lin needed before she could cross the same line.

Apparently, I was the apartment’s leading expert on getting fucked in the ass.

It was the first thing I had been good at in months.

“It hurt,” I said. “More than I wanted to admit.”

Lin watched my face like she was trying to decide whether I was warning her or asking to be needed.

“But it got better?” she asked.

“Eventually,” I said. “If you relax. If you trust the person helping you through it.”

I hated how badly I wanted that person to be me. Not because I wanted her hurt. Because I wanted to be the one she trusted when it did.

Lin studied me for a moment. Long enough that I wondered whether she had heard the possessiveness in my voice and decided not to punish me for it.

Then she nodded, drawing out the first word like she was trying not to set anything off.

“Sooo ... will you help me?”

I reached out and touched her chin.

“Anything for you, Lin.”

Why couldn’t I ever just say yes like a normal person? Why did everything have to become a confession the second it left my mouth?

Stupid love-hungry cunt.

When Dan showed up, Lin asked before either of us had time to lose our nerve.

She asked him from the couch, one knee tucked under her, trying very hard to sound casual and only mostly succeeding. Dan blinked once. Then his face did that thing I hated, that slow brightening when he realized there was another room in the house he had apparently been invited into.

I watched the idea land. This was serious enough to plan, and I was important enough to be included.

He tried not to look too pleased about that and failed badly.

“Yeah,” he said, too quickly.

Then he cleared his throat and tried again, lower.

“Yeah. If you’re sure.”

Lin looked at me.

Not at him. Me.

I smiled back, stupidly happy that she had looked at me first, as if one glance could settle who this was really for.

We ended up in Lin’s bed, and I slipped under her the way she had asked me to. I lay on my back while Lin knelt over me facing my hips, her pussy and ass hovering over my mouth and chest in a loose kind of sixty-nine.

From there, I could see her thighs trembling while Dan knelt behind her.

Dan reached for the lube. He worked her open slowly, one finger first, then another, his cock hanging close above my face. He looked down at me and smiled, then guided himself into my mouth while he worked Lin open.

Lin stiffened at the first finger. At the second, a small groan slipped out of her. Dan worked her carefully for a while before pulling free from my mouth and slicking himself up with the rest of the lube.