Chapter 8

After tea I lay upstairs listening to music and texting with Jase. He still wanted us to send each other sexy pictures. I wasn’t keen; I don’t really know what makes a sexy picture. I always think boys look better dressed with a bulge than simply naked, but I guess other people have different ideas. I heard someone come upstairs and tap on my door. Not wanting a conversation, I answered as sleepily as I could, “Mm?”

“Are you awake, love?” my mum asked.

“Yes, no, sort of,” I answered.

“Okay, I will see you in the morning, love. Goodnight.”

“Mm G’night” I mumbled.

It looks like I had got away with that; I really didn’t want to talk with anyone other than Jase at the moment. I felt sexy, and I didn’t really want to talk to Mum when I felt like that, and I certainly did not want to talk to Dad right now; I was still unsure about wanting him. It had come so close that morning.

‘I want to make love to you’ Jase texted.

‘Oh do u’

‘yes ur so hot’

‘not bad urself’

‘wish I could come round’

‘Mum Dad still up’

‘cud i come round when they in bed’

‘no no no’ that was such a bad idea. I was not doing anything with Jase whilst my parents were in the house, just no.

‘c u 2moz?’

‘yes, free in morn’

‘u 2 me, me 2 u?’

‘me 2 u’

I lay there with my buds out just imagining Jase in my mind, his dick, his balls, and how it must look as he was inside me, and I heard my parents come upstairs. Mum was giggling, and I am sure she said “Hush” as they walked past my room, and Dad replied, “She’s asleep.”

I just lay there listening to the silence, and then the silence was no more. The unmistakable sounds of my parents having sex. The slapping sound as Dad pushed in and then withdrew only to push again; the grunting from Mum as he filled her. ‘That could have been you this morning,’ a voice inside my head said, and I knew it was true. I lay and imagined it was me making the grunting noises, imagined it was me that my dad was shagging, my fingers slipping down and finding me very wet.

I pressed my nubbin in time with the slaps, feeling every thrust Dad made, feeling him filling me, wanting his spurts to fill me and to drip out of me, soaking the bedsheet, a stain that would be a tell-tale. “Oh shit,” I said quietly as I approached the finish, and then as I heard my mum loudly say, “Oh yes, yes, yes,” I finished. I came hard in my bed, my fingers hard and deep inside me, my dad’s juices squirting. Squirting, just in the wrong place. I slept fitfully on and off in the night, my mind in a turmoil, wondering if I had done the right or the wrong thing in refusing my dad.

“How did you sleep, sweetheart?” Mum asked as I drank juice and nibbled at some toast.

“Like a log, Mum, like a log,” I lied. I didn’t want to let on that I had heard them; that was a subject that should be taboo.

“Oh good, you seemed very sleepy when I came up.”

“Oh, yes, I wasn’t sure whether I had dreamt that you came up or not. Yes, I think I was more tired than I thought; I don’t think I heard anything until the birds started up this morning.” Still lying; it was for the best. Dad popped his head through the door, saying he was out all day and wouldn’t be back until tea. Yeah, he said that yesterday too.

After Dad had gone, Mum turned to me. “Now we are alone, love. Is there anything you want to ask me? I just felt as if there might be anything?”

“No, Mum, I am all good, no problems here, and none at college.”

“Your boyfriend not wanting to go further than you are comfortable with?”

“Well, he is a boy, Mum, but he respects the boundaries; it is ok.” Good job we have the same boundaries, so no issues at all, and in no way was I going to talk to Mum about me and Ash; that was beyond personal. In fact, I wasn’t even sure what it was with her.

“Are you sure, love?”

“Yes, Mum, he did suggest taking some intimate photos, but I firmly said no.”

“Good, because so many girls have come to regret that later on when relationships end, as they often do.”

“Well, I am not going to, and anyway, what is a sexy photograph? Nope, not doing it.”

“Good girl. Okay, if that is the worst of it, then I think that you are okay, and thank you for sharing that with me; I feel much more assured. Oh, and if you want to go to the doctor, you know, about prevention and stuff, I will come with you if you want, and we needn’t tell your father.”

“Thank you, Mum; if it ever gets to that, then I will talk to you.” No point in mentioning that I already had that covered.

I got to Jase’s about ten. He was wearing shorts and a T-shirt and greeted me with a hug and a kiss. He deadlocked the door and asked drink or room.