Chapter 1

I was lying on my bed, having just finished some coursework and wondering what to do next when I heard a sort of moaning coming from Mum’s bedroom. Not sure what it was, if she had hurt herself or was perhaps unwell, I got off my bed and headed to her room; her door was just a little bit open. Something stopped me rushing in to see if she was okay; looking through the door crack, I could see her reflected in her wardrobe door’s mirror. She was lying nude on her bed. I had seen Mum nude many times, so that was nothing new, but what she was doing was new, and it was something I had no idea about.

Mum had what looked like a plastic bar or rod in her hand and was holding it between her legs. I could hear a vibration noise, and Mum was moaning and pulling a really strange face. I was fascinated; I couldn’t stop watching but was scared I would be caught. Dad was out, and so there was only Mum and me at home. Mum gasped and took in a big gulp of air and lifted her bottom high off the bed, and she let out the biggest moan yet. I was frozen; I couldn’t stop watching as she lay there, the rod thing in her hand still making a buzzing noise. There was obviously an on/off switch on it, and with her other hand she stopped the buzzing and dropped the rod on the bed.

Before she could see me, I crept back to my room and lay on the bed, my earbuds in, listening to music, thinking about what Mum had been doing, something I had never seen before, and up until then, I had never even thought about touching myself with something other than my fingers.

Deep in my thoughts, Mum startled me, I hadn’t heard her come into my room, and as she touched my shoulder, I jumped.

“Shit, Mum, you made me jump.”

“Don’t swear, Nat; it is unladylike.” Mum had dressed in jeans and a jumper, and I hoped she wasn’t aware I had just been watching her. “I am going to the shops. I will be there about an hour. Do you want to come, or do you want me to get anything for you?

“No, Mum, if you don’t mind, I am just going to stay here and listen to my music.”

I got up and watched from my parents’ bedroom window as Mum drove off the drive and gave her a couple of minutes to make sure she had not forgotten something and had to come back. Deciding the coast was clear, I opened the drawer in Mum’s bedside table, and there it was. I picked it up and held it. It was rubbery to the feel, round and had a slight point at one end. At the other end was what looked like a button, which of course I pressed.

I almost dropped it; I was surprised at how it felt. It buzzed and vibrated in my hand. I pressed the button again, and the vibrations increased, and then another press and it all stopped and went quiet. I am not sure why, but I brought it to my nose and sniffed; it had a familiar smell, the smell, I guess, of a woman, my mum.

I rushed back to my room, my mum’s toy in hand, and quickly undressed and lay on the bed. I needed to see what this was like. Why was my mum using it? Was it better than her fingers or better even than my dad?