Winter Unclothed - Cover

Winter Unclothed

Copyright© 2026 by Kate Evergreen

Chapter 17: March Return

The snow is melting.

I drive south on I-35, back toward Minneapolis, and I watch it happen. The snow that has been falling for weeks, months, years is starting to melt. The world is still white, but it’s a different kind of white now. It’s a white that’s starting to crack. It’s a white that’s starting to give way.

I think about the river. I think about the ice cracking. I think about the water starting to flow.

I think about what that means for me.

The drive back is different from the drive up. I’m wearing clothes. Not many. A sweater. Pants. Boots. A scarf. The first time I’ve worn clothes in a month.

It feels strange. The fabric on my skin. The weight of it. The way it moves when I move.

I don’t need it. I don’t need any of it. But I’m wearing it anyway. I’m wearing it because I want to. I’m wearing it because I can.

And that’s the difference.

I used to wear clothes because I needed to hide. I used to wear clothes because I needed to perform. I used to wear clothes because I needed to be something I wasn’t.

Now I wear clothes because I choose to.

I drive through the cities. I drive through the suburbs. I drive through the country.

The snow melts.

I think about my mother. I think about the conversation we had. I think about the way she looked at me when I walked through her door.

“You’re not wearing any clothes,” she said.

“I know,” I said.

“You must be cold.”

“I’m cold,” I said. “But I’m okay.”

She looked at me for a long moment. Then she nodded. Then she made tea.

We talked for hours. I told her everything. I told her about the divorce. I told her about the numbness. I told her about the cold I didn’t feel. I told her about the man in the library. I told her about the questions. I told her about the rules. I told her about the month. I told her about the bag. I told her about the bridge. I told her about everything.

She listened. She didn’t interrupt. She didn’t judge. She just listened.

And when I was done, she reached across the table and took my hand.

“I’m proud of you,” she said. “I’m proud of you for finding your way back.”

I looked at her. I looked at her kind face. I looked at her concerned eyes.

“I’m not sure I’m there yet,” I said.

She shook her head. “You are. You’re not a ghost anymore. That’s all that matters.”

I thought about the words. You’re not a ghost anymore. That’s what Lars said. That’s what my mother said.

I thought about how they were right.

I drove into Minneapolis. The city is still covered in snow. But the snow is melting. The streets are wet. The sidewalks are slushy. The world is starting to thaw.

I drove to my house in Seward. I park the car. I get out.

The cold hits me like a wave. I feel it on my skin. I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breath.

I feel everything.

I walk up the steps. I open the door. I walk inside.

The house is dark and cold. I don’t turn on the lights. I don’t turn on the heat.

I walk through the dark to my bedroom. I lie down on my bed. I stare at the ceiling.

I think about the month. One month. The month of walking naked through the world. The month of shedding layers. The month of becoming myself.

I think about all the things I’ve done. I think about all the things I’ve learned.

I’ve learned that I don’t need the layers.

I’ve learned that I don’t need the performance.

I’ve learned that I don’t need anything.

I’ve learned that I’m not a ghost.

I close my eyes. I try to sleep. I lie there in the dark, in the cold, in the silence.

And I think about the days ahead.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know where this is going. I don’t know who I’m going to become.

But I’m going to find out.

I woke up on Monday morning. The sun is rising. The light is grey and thin. The snow is still falling, but it’s melting now. It’s melting as it falls.

I stand up. I walk to the window. I look out at the world.

The world is starting to thaw.

I think about what that means for me.

I walk to the kitchen. Ingrid is there. She’s making coffee. She looks at me. I’m wearing clothes. A sweater. Pants. Boots.

She looks at me. She looks at my clothes. She doesn’t say anything.

She pours me a cup of coffee. She hands it to me. She doesn’t say anything.

I drink coffee. I sit at the kitchen table. I look out the window at the melting snow.

Brita is there too. She’s looking at me with concern in her eyes.

“Karen,” she says. “You’re wearing clothes.”

I look down at myself. At the sweater. At the pants. At the boots.

“I know,” I say.

“How do you feel?”

I think about the question. How do I feel? I don’t know. I don’t know how to answer that question.

“I feel strange,” I say. “I feel like I’m wearing a costume.”

She looks at me. She doesn’t understand. But she doesn’t push.

“Are you going to keep wearing them?” she asks.

I think about the question. Am I going to keep wearing clothes? I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

“I don’t know,” I say. “I think I’m going to figure it out as I go.”

She looks at me for a long moment. Then she nods.

“Okay,” she says. “I just wanted to understand.”

I finish my coffee. I stand up. I walk to the door. I put on my boots.

I have a bag now. A new one. A small one. It holds my books. My notes. My phone.

I don’t need it. I don’t need anything. But I carry it anyway. I carry it because I choose to.

I walk out into the cold.

The cold hits me like a wave. I feel it on my skin. I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breath.

I feel everything.

I walk through the streets of Seward. I walk past the corner store. I walk past the church that has been closed for years. I walk past the house where the old woman used to sit on her porch.

I walk toward the Washington Avenue Bridge.

I walk through the melting snow. I walk through the slush. I walk through everything.

I reach the edge of the bridge. I stop. I look at the river.

The river is still frozen. But the cracks are getting wider. The ice is breaking up. The water is starting to flow.

I stand there, wearing clothes, looking at the river. I think about the ice cracking. I think about the water starting to flow again.

I think about what that means for me.

I step onto the bridge.

I walk. I walk across the bridge. I walk through the cold. I walk through the melting snow. I walk through everything.

I stop in the middle of the bridge. I stop at the place where I dropped the bag.

I stand there, wearing clothes, in the middle of the bridge. I stand there, with my bag over my shoulder, with everything.

I think about the bag. The bag I dropped in the snow. The bag I let go of.

I think about what it felt like to let it go.

It felt like freedom. It felt like being released. It felt like everything.

I stood there for a long time. I stand there, wearing clothes, in the middle of the bridge. I stand there, with my bag over my shoulder, with everything.

The snow falls. The wind blows. The world is white.

 
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