Chapter 55: The Probe

Cletus Ray had only two things on his mind that Friday night: getting his batch of white lightning off the still before the revenuers found it, and getting to the diner in time to pick up Mary Sue after work.

Damn, that girl had some tits on her! he thought.

He was barreling down the dirt road in his rusted truck, windows rolled down, radio blasting.

“Where the fuck is that light coming from?”

“Well, shit, I heard about this kind of stuff. Looks like one of those alien abduction things.”

Then nothing.

He woke up buck naked.

His Wranglers and his lucky T-shirt with the words FBI: Female Body Inspector on the front were gone. That was the first thing he noticed. The second was that he was lying on a padded table. The room was round and looked padded too—wall to wall, ceiling to floor, all of it the color of the inside of a woman’s lady parts.

He sat up slow, and his head swam.

“Well, ain’t this a situation.”

The door, or what passed for one, since it looked like a seam in the wall, split open. Two ladies walked in.

Except they weren’t human, exactly. They were female-shaped, sure enough. Hips a man wouldn’t mind holding onto, waists and breasts looking good. But they looked like if you took a panda and a Playboy pinup and mixed them together. Big round ears on top of their heads, black coloring around eyes that sparkled, soft-looking fur head to toe, and oh yeah, they were naked too.

“ ... and if the council don’t vote us in after this one, Brenda, I swear I’m gonna join another sorority. Maybe Alpha Llama, K.”

“Relax, Marla. You don’t want to join that sorority. They’re a bunch of nerds. Also, you can only be into females. No dick-suckers allowed. We got a live one. Country boy. I hear they’re fun.”