Home for Horny Monsters - Book 9
Copyright© 2026 by Annabelle Hawthorne
Chapter 1
Action/Adventure Sex Story: Chapter 1 - When a mysterious sleeping sickness begins to spread across the country, Mike and the household get caught in the middle. Yet turning to magic might rouse worse entities than the slumbering victims...Will Mike and the powerful women by his side only awaken more nocturnal terrors than they can conquer? Welcome to your worst nightmare. Expect the Unexpected.
Caution: This Action/Adventure Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa Mult Consensual Romantic BiSexual Heterosexual Fiction Fairy Tale Horror Humor Paranormal Ghost Magic Vampires Demons Harem Polygamy/Polyamory Anal Sex Cream Pie Exhibitionism Masturbation Oral Sex Sex Toys Size Violence
Making a Point
It was the first weekend in May. Callisto stood on the sidelines of the soccer pitch watching his teammates play on the field. He was on a co-ed team for thirteen-year-olds called The Wolves, and they were currently down two points. Looking over toward the sidelines where his family stood on the grass, he tried not to react when his mom waved at him.
His dad had promised to be there today, but hadn’t shown up yet. Although his father had attended most of his games, this was the one needed to get into the final tournament in two weeks. His team had only lost one game this season, which put them in the running for the top four.
Things had been hectic at the Radley home this spring. His new baby sister was more than a handful, and the plethora of adults who used to have time to spend with him were constantly keeping the little goblin out of trouble. Even Tink lost track of her at times, which was really something. He had heard adults joking about the terrible twos before, but his sister was apparently setting the absolute standard for it.
There was also the fact that Mike was consistently dealing with issues either at the main house or one of his other properties. Last weekend, he had been forced to leave Callisto’s game early because something called a Baykok had made it onto the cabin property and was preying on the Nirumbi. For whatever reason, Aunt Beth had needed his personal assistance, which had irked Callisto.
Recently, the adults in general irritated him. He could only presume it was related to what was likely the end of his prepubescent status. Other centaurs his own age had already gone through some of those changes, but his half-human status had certainly delayed the effect.
Now, though, he was consistently battling his own inner demons on the pettiest of subjects. The rational part of his mind liked to remind him that his elders had lived entire lives packed with experiences he couldn’t fathom. He literally lived with women who were centuries old and had looked after generations of people.
The other part of him believed that they didn’t know anything. He was pretty much an adult anyway, and what did they—
“Heads!” someone yelled, and Callisto and the others on the sidelines ducked as the ball shot through where he had been standing. The centaur, currently in human form, flared his nostrils at the one who had kicked it.
Ashton Maxwell. He was a young man on Callisto’s team. His blond hair was wavy, and he had a smattering of freckles along his cheeks that the girls on the Wolves often whispered to each other about. His father was a producer for some musician’s music videos, and they lived in the wealthy part of town.
“Sorry, Cally.” Ashton smirked and ran back onto the field as a member of the other team, the Tigers, came to throw the ball in.
Ever since Cal’s first day on the team, Ashton had been antagonizing him. Callisto knew that this was, in part, due to the mystery surrounding his own family. Ashton liked to bring up his family’s income every chance he got, and had clearly noticed that Callisto wasn’t impressed in the slightest.
Sure, Ashton’s father could afford a private jet for their summers in the Bahamas on a private island. And yes, some famous boy band that all the girls on the team listened to had played at his birthday party last summer. Ashton’s family was insanely rich, compared to the average person.
But Callisto was a centaur disguised as a human, and he could see a person’s soul. The misery that consistently lingered in Ashton’s spilled free like a noxious gas. On the two occasions that Ashton’s father had come to a game, the man had spent the whole time on the phone. The Maxwells were a family in name only. It was usually his mom who brought him, and the woman always seemed zonked out on tranquilizers.
That rational part of him that recognized his own adolescence was looming also told him that he should pity Ashton. It was clear that Ashton’s behavior was the fault of an upbringing lacking in familial love and boundaries.
The other part of Callisto liked to think that if a big enough tube was shoved down Ashton’s throat, he would legally be considered the world’s largest douchebag. Sadly, this part won, and Callisto was forced to let his emotions simmer as he glared at Ashton, who was now ignoring him to focus on the game.
The next play went out of bounds thirty seconds later, and the coach called for a timeout to send in some subs. Callisto was sent in as Ashton was on his way out. The blond deliberately shoulder-checked him on the way in. Callisto had no idea how the coach didn’t see shit like this, but knew for a fact that his Faerie body guard did.
Before Callisto had joined the soccer team, Mike had spoken at length with the family’s private guard about what constituted the kind of harm that the Fae should be involved in. There was a very real fear that an errant ball that smashed Callisto’s in the nose would cause murderous retaliation.
Callisto wouldn’t mind if the spirit just broke Ashton’s legs a little, or maybe body slammed him. Something other than quietly watching. He hated looking at the thing, so often wished he would get some use out of it.
Before play resumed, he touched the magical band around his bicep that allowed him to hold his human form for up to a day. It was currently in the form of a temporary tribal tattoo. Aunt Ratu’s enchanting skills had improved over the last year, and she had actually learned quite a bit from the home’s recent addition, Tasia, who had a sword that turned into a bracelet.
Now out on the field, he caught a glance from Cassie Evergreen, a girl on his team. They hadn’t spoken more than a few times, but he thought about her more than he probably should these days. Her hair looked soft, and he wondered what her hand would feel like if he held it. Or what it would be like to kiss—
“Go, Cal, go!” Zel screamed, his mother pointing frantically. Callisto had been too busy making eye contact with Cassie to notice that play had resumed.
Sprinting frantically, he had to remember to tone down his athletic abilities, but had covered a third of the field already to catch up to the ball. The girl who currently had it was a striker for the Tigers, and she was likely going to take a shot on the goal.
Callisto threw just a bit of caution to the wind and went wide, then slid in front of her and kicked the ball away. Back on his feet in an instant, he charged toward the opposite goal, deftly weaving between the defenders.
Cassie cheered him on, and he popped the ball into the air, hit it with his forehead, and jumped while twirling sideways to pass between two defenders who had formed a wall. His team cheered, and he managed to intercept the ball where it landed and kick it straight at the other goal.
The ball shot past the goalie, netting his team another point. The closest teammates cheered Callisto on as he ran back toward center field, then gave a big shit-eating grin to Cassie. On the sideline, Ashton was making a face like someone had force-fed him a turd.
“That’s my boy!” Zel yelled, hopping up and down. Next to her, Aunt Lily was also cheering and jumping. Her tight tank top was borderline inappropriate, and more than a few parents were staring at Lily’s boobs as they jiggled. The shirt had the words Being the cool aunt is lame, I’d rather be the hot one in fiery letters.
Down between them, Grace was busy clapping one hand on her knee while staring at Callisto. In her other hand was what appeared to be a big, fat grasshopper, which she promptly popped in her mouth like candy. Hovering invisibly above her was another Fae spirit, diligently watching for trouble.
Damnit, Grace, he thought to himself as a nearby teammate gagged. Trying to ignore his little sister, he did a quick scan of the field to see if his father was among them, maybe even invisibly. Normal humans were weird around his dad, constantly stumbling over themselves to appease or impress him.
Callisto acknowledged that this was probably part of his problem with Ashton. Sure, Ashton’s father had money, but nobody repeatedly accused him of being a famous model or movie star.
Seeing that Mike wasn’t lingering nearby, he let out a sigh and took his position near the center of the field. The referee set the ball in the middle and backed up.
Dad, where the hell are you? Callisto wondered as the other team’s center ran forward and passed the ball to their teammate.
The room was a study with three large picture windows that looked out over a distant mountain range. The windows themselves were framed by a massive pair of ornate bookshelves that had been recently oiled and polished. The shelves themselves were adorned with children’s books that had been packed in over the last year. Along one wall was a fireplace that had gone cold sometime in the spring, but was meticulously swept. There was nothing odd about the room itself when seen from the inside, but even a casual observer would realize that something was off. The view of distant islands in a massive lake simply didn’t jive with the fact that this study was not only an interior room, but that the home itself was in the middle of a large neighborhood several miles from any substantial body of water.
The sanctity of this odd magical space was shattered as a gargoyle crashed through the central picture window, slamming into the floor so hard that the boards buckled. From her back leapt Mike Radley, clutching a green toddler to his chest as he sprang free and slid across the polished hardwood until he came to a stop with his feet against the door.
“Tink!” he shouted, and the door of the study was blown apart by gunfire. The man-sized hole in the door revealed a redheaded goblin who stood four feet tall and had small crow’s feet in the corner of her eyes. She stood behind a hastily assembled chaingun that had been bolted to the floor and was stabilized by a crystalline assembly of ice.
A shrieking sound filled the air as feathered creatures swept in. Half woman and half bird, the flock of harpies squawked angrily at the sight of Mike and his child against the opposite wall, their cries swiftly drowned out by the sound of an M242 Bushmaster tearing the room to shreds.
On the floor, Abella cried out in pain, clutching at her ears as she scooted to the side. The harpy swarm, unable to escape, were reduced to blood and feathers in an instant. When Tink let go of the trigger, Yuki ran into the room and scooped up the goblin toddler, who promptly bit her.
“Ow, shit!” She tossed the child to her mother, Tink, then sealed the door with a barrier made of ice. “Get her out of here,” she cried.
Outside, the remaining harpies were busy shrieking in dismay. Mike got up off the floor and ran to the window, magic building in his chest as he pointed his fingers at the harpies like a pistol.
“Scat!” he cried, firing a bolt of lightning at them. That finally scared the beasts off, and the swarm scattered. Scowling at the harpies as they went, he turned to look at Abella, who was being helped to her feet by Yuki.
“You okay?” he asked.
The gargoyle nodded, then joined him at the window with Yuki. “To think that this valley had a harpy population all this time,” she muttered with a faint French accent.
“Well, it’s not like anyone ever came in here before,” he said. In the last year or so, Charlotte the vampyr had actually made this her study. She liked the view and had taken to stocking the shelves with children’s books that she could read to the kids who now lived with the Moon Tribe in his greenhouse. The vampyr had also taken to reading these books to the merfolk, but had most recently been doing storytime with his youngest daughter, Matilda.
Named by his goblin wife after the little girl from a movie she had watched on repeat for the final month of her pregnancy, his daughter was not yet two, yet somehow got into more trouble than the rest of the house combined. Today’s issue was the unlucky result of Matilda breaking into Charlotte’s study to look through her books, unaware that the harpies had been waiting for that exact opportunity.
It hadn’t been hard for the bird-like creatures to lure Matilda to the window and abduct her. What they hadn’t counted on was that Matilda was constantly being shadowed by four troublesome fairies who absolutely adored the chaos she brought, who had immediately informed Mike. Able to track his child with his magic, the only obstacle in his way was his own inability to fly, hence Abella’s involvement.
Staring out the window, Mike shook his head and let out a sigh. Turning to see the mess that was Charlotte’s office, he sent her a mental image of the place, expecting to feel her disappointment through their bond. Instead, she was far too relieved that Matilda was safe to even worry that her special room had been ruined by guts and gunfire.
“What do you think they wanted with her?” Yuki wondered.
“Delicacy,” Abella replied. “Harpies are like bees, and they have a queen. They were taking Matilda to their nest, wherever that is.”
There was a banging sound on the ice wall that Yuki had made. The kitsune dismissed it with a wave of her hand, and Tink came storming in with her modified sniper rifle.
“TINK SHOOT FUCKING BIRD BITCHES!” she screamed, and had to be stopped halfway to the window.
“They’re gone,” Mike told her. The goblin turned her head toward him in slow motion, her eyes practically feral.
“Did Tink kill them all?” she asked in a quiet tone.
“Well, no, some got aw—”
“GOBLIN MURDERING SPREE!” she shouted, and leapt at the window. Mike scooped her up as Yuki took away the gun.
“That’s a later problem,” he said, looking toward the door. Kisa was standing there, holding Matilda tight against her chest. His daughter looked like she was already asleep. “We need to board these windows up so that we can fix the place up.”
“Fuck fixing windows!” she shouted, struggling to get free.
“Which will give us time to plan our revenge,” he added.
The goblin went still in his arms. “Big revenge?” she asked.
“Well, yeah. We can’t really have child-eating harpies lurking around our home, now can we?”
Tink chewed on this thought, then went limp. “Put Tink down,” she commanded. “Need plywood for windows.”
Happy that his goblin wife wasn’t about to leap into the ravine, he complied. She adjusted her dress, nodded at the others, then promptly grabbed Mike’s dick through his pants. “Big gun make Tink horny,” she replied. “Husband share big gun later.”
“Speaking of guns, where the hell did you get that thing?” he asked, gesturing at the Bushmaster.
“Tink took it from US military last winter,” the goblin replied, offering no further explanation as she walked out the door with Kisa. Exasperated, Mike just shook his head and watched her leave. Now that the immediate danger was over, he walked carefully toward the nearest couch with the intention of sitting, but stopped when he saw that it was covered in harpy guts.
Seeing his dilemma, Yuki pulled a tarot card from her pocket and threw it at the ground. When it struck, the paper unfolded into a group of sticks that quickly assembled themselves into a chair.
“You didn’t need to waste a card on me,” he said.
“Minor arcana,” she replied. “Will take me a couple of hours to make a replacement. Besides, you look like you need it.”
“I do. Thank you.” He sat in the chair and placed his face in his hands. Tears of relief ran silently down his cheeks and through his fingers. Typically, true danger came for his family from outside the house. Today was the first time that it had come from within, and he felt an odd sense of violation.
He and others had briefly explored this ravine more than once, yet had never seen the harpies. They all had figured it was an unused pocket world, and had let the issue go. With all the other things that had become normal around his home, it was kind of easy to forget a window that went to a different world.
Abella came up from behind the chair and wrapped her arms over his shoulders, her wings draped lightly over him.
“Thank you,” he whispered, knowing she could easily hear him with her sensitive ears. “For everything.”
“Always,” she replied. Abella had come right away when he had yelled for her, but that now meant that the stairs and part of the hallway were scratched up from her passage. Made completely of stone, her talons had gouged several inch-long grooves into nearly everywhere she had gone in her haste to get to the study.
It was only a minute later when Charlotte appeared in the doorway. The vampyr was wearing an outdoor dress and had mud on her hands and knees. She surveyed the room with dark eyes that scrutinized every detail, then looked at Mike.
“Matilda seemed okay,” she told him. “I just checked on her. Sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”
Mike chuckled and shook his head. “You were in the middle of something else,” he replied. “It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. I should have secured this room better.” The vampyr moved to the window and looked outside. “Yuki, could you seal these off, please? Tink is coming back up with plywood soon, but I worry that the harpies may return in bigger numbers.”
“Maybe we should let them,” Yuki growled. “They tried to eat one of our own.”
“This is true,” Charlotte admitted. “But if this was only an act of desperation, we shouldn’t punish them for it.”
The vampyr and the kitsune glared daggers at each other, and Yuki finally gave in and summoned a wall of ice to seal off the windows. Something about Charlotte rubbed Yuki the wrong way. Part of this was the fact that the kitsune hated how the vampyr smelled. The rest was likely some sort of internalized hatred of what Charlotte represented, or maybe the fact that the vampyr often acted like a mother figure for everybody in the house, despite her relatively young biological age of nineteen.
“If they are ruled by a Queen, then it’s the Queen we should go after,” Yuki declared, then turned her head in Mike’s direction. “Unless you’d like to marry her, too.”
Mike chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, I think I may have hit my royal limit.” He was technically married to a mermaid princess and the Queen of the Fae. A simulacrum made of magic and a portion of his soul was currently in the Fae Realm as acting King, assisting Titania with her royal duties. No such solution existed for him with Leilani, and the mermaid had voiced her displeasure more than once recently that he wasn’t around as much as she’d like.
“What determines who you marry?” Yuki raised an eyebrow, her tails swishing behind her. “Seems to me that there’s no shortage of candidates around here.”
“I only marry for political advantage,” Mike replied, affecting a slightly British accent.
“Your first wife is a goblin. What were the politics there?”
“She was cute, and I was horny.” There was more to it than that, but it was clear Yuki was just trying to bust his balls.
Yuki snorted. “So how horny do you need to be before you agree to marry me?”
Mike stared at the kitsune, unsure how to answer her. “Well, I mean, um ... if that’s something you’re interested in, I think—”
Yuki laughed. “Oh, I’m going to tell the others about this. You’re squirming so hard.” There was a ding from her robes, and she pulled out her phone and frowned at it. “Oh. Zel’s looking for you.”
“Is she okay?”
“Yeah. She texted the family chat asking where you were because Callisto’s game is halfway over.”
What?” Mike went to check his own phone, then remembered that he had never taken it with him in the first place. In his hurry to rescue Matilda, his phone was likely still downstairs in the office.
Still, it’s not like he doubted Yuki. If she said that there was only half an hour left in Callisto’s soccer game, then he needed to get moving.
“Thank you,” he said, then ran toward the door and down the hall to the stairs. His master bedroom was on the top floor, which was now the sixth floor. His magically enhanced stamina meant that he could take the three flights of stairs necessary to get to his bedroom at a run. Built in the original home’s sole turret, the back window overlooked what used to be the backyard. Now, it overlooked a massive inner courtyard with a fountain in the middle and an iron gate embedded in a stone wall at the back.
“Naia!” Mike stripped out of his clothes as he moved, tossing the blood-soaked rags onto the bathroom floor. The large bathtub in his bathroom was more like a small pool, or perhaps a large hot tub.
The spigot turned itself on, and a torrent of warm water started to fill the tube.
“Yes, lover?” A watery figure appeared, standing roughly five feet tall. The nymph’s translucent appearance solidified as her skin and gown were colored in.
“I need to get clean,” Mike declared. “Callisto’s game is going to be over soon.”
“So a quickie, then?” Naia smirked at him as he stepped into the tub. The water was only an inch deep already. Given a couple of minutes, Naia could have the whole tube filled if she wanted. The sole limitation was how much pressure the spigot could handle.
“Yes, please.”
Naia leapt into his arms, her body transforming into hot water the moment they made contact. Mike closed his eyes and let the powerful current churn over his skin, washing away the gore of his earlier adventure.
He also couldn’t help but notice that Naia was paying extra attention to his cock and balls. Powerful suction manifested on the tip of his dick, and he groaned as Naia used her water to form a mouth which sucked on him.
“All done,” Naia declared in his ear, and the water fell away. He stood in the mostly empty tub now with a massive erection.
“You did that on purpose,” he said.
“I do everything on purpose,” she replied from the drain, then giggled. “Cheer Callisto on for me!”
Mike stepped out of the tub, the lingering water on his skin magically yanked back into the basin, leaving him dry. The only difficulty in getting dressed now was trying to pull his pants over his large hardon. His cock had been considered larger than average back before inheriting a magical home and soul swapping with a nymph. He was fairly certain it had gotten even bigger, but had no way of knowing for sure.
Kisa appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, a shirt and pants already in hand. “Socks are on the bed and shoes are by the front door.”
“Thanks.” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and slid into his pants, then allowed Kisa to pull the shirt down over his head. Grabbing his socks, he stepped out into the hallway and looked over the railing to see Charlotte already waiting for him below.
The vampyr looked up at him with a grin as he vaulted the railing and fell six stories to the main floor. With not even a grunt, Charlotte caught him in a princess carry, then set him on the floor.
“My hero,” he said. “Wanna come with?”
“Naturally.” The vampyr opened the front door of the house and waited for him to put on his socks and shoes. Once outside, they started jogging. From the front porch to the sidewalk, it was roughly a quarter of a mile now. Or maybe a half. Tink could tell him exactly, but now wasn’t the time to wonder.
Charlotte and Mike ran toward a small copse of trees on the edge of the yard. Planted there last year, they had been magically grown with the help of Amymone, the resident dryad.
Lacking a car, the Radley family relied on magic for most forms of transportation. Many of its residents couldn’t go out in public anyway. They did keep a private driver on retainer, who had already taken the others to Callisto’s game, which was twenty minutes away.
Mike greeted the trees mentally, then gave them a psychic image of where he wanted to go. Taking Charlotte by the hand, he stepped between the trees and was instantly transported to the soccer park where Bigfoot had helped him plant a couple of trees like these for just this purpose.
There was an irritated chiming from behind him. Mike looked back to see that a member of his Fae guard had chased him through the portal. While he didn’t allow them in the house, their main responsibility was to travel with family members who actually left the property. Otherwise, they guarded the main property along with the gargoyles, centaur, and jabberwock.
The home was regularly harassed by curiosity seekers, nosy neighbors, and the occasional asshole who dropped by to cause trouble. The Fae Guard liked to drop troublemakers straight into the court of the Fae Queen if they proved to be too much trouble. Titania had gifted him a statue of a warlock three months ago. That man had refused to divulge who had sent him or why he was there, so the Fae Queen had immortalized him in stone while leaving his mind intact.
Mike had bought the kids some sidewalk chalk so they could color him in. After a year or so, Titania would turn the man back to flesh and repeat her question, to see if he was more willing to talk.
“Which field are they on?” asked Charlotte. She was wearing a sundress now.
“When did you put that on?” he asked.
“Just now.” Charlotte grabbed the hem of the dress and lifted it just long enough for Mike to see a flash of red. “I can show you more later, if you like.”
“Yes, I would. Please subject yourself to a full examination—there he is!” Mike had felt along the bond he shared with Lily and Zel and now saw them on the far side of the field. “Try to run like a normal person.”
Charlotte giggled and the two of them jogged at what Mike felt was a reasonable rate. The vampyr at his side was fast enough that she could easily cross the field in a couple of seconds, which would make an Olympian look like a drunken toddler.
Lily noticed him first. She elbowed Zel, and then both of them waved. Down below them, Grace looked up at her father and tried to wander onto the soccer field to greet him, only to be held back by Lily at the last moment.
Going around the game itself, Mike greeted the others with hugs. They had agreed in advance that open affection was likely to create questions that might cause issues for Callisto.
The whole reason his son was currently playing soccer was due to the fact that he no longer felt like part of the herd. Ever since the Unseelie had caused the disappearance of numerous members, his son had become an outcast among his own kind.
Sadly, Callisto’s desire to be part of a group wasn’t satisfied by the occupants of his home. Almost everybody there was an adult. After numerous requests for an activity where he could participate with kids his own age, they had settled on soccer.
It had been hard enough to find a team that wasn’t super competitive at his son’s age. Callisto’s centaur body was much faster and stronger than a human’s, and it would be easy enough for him to get carried away and absolutely destroy the other kids on the field. Naturally, the solution had been the Wolves, who prided themselves on playing for fun.
Even so, there were far too many parents on the team who seemed to believe that playing for fun actually meant destroying the other team and salting the fields on their way out.
A few parents looked Mike’s way, and then their faces went blank as their attention wandered. Mike was using Kisa’s ability to blend into the background to avoid being noticed. It wasn’t true invisibility. Rather, people simply forgot he was there.
“How is he doing?” Mike asked Zel. Callisto was currently on the sidelines, beaming at Mike.
“He scored a goal earlier,” Lily said.
“But he was also a bit flashy about it.” Zel sounded both happy and irritated. A quick look at her soul revealed that it was just worry that she felt.
Lily sighed. “It was flashy, but a normal amount. The other kids thought it was cool. Nobody suspected a thing.”
A cursory examination of the gathered crowd showed Mike that nobody was remotely paying his family any attention. Even a quick sweep of their souls just showed the usual noise. If anyone here was harboring magical powers or ill intentions, Mike was unaware of it.
Well, almost. A few of the kids playing didn’t seem to like his son very much. For some reason, one boy in particular was really mad at Callisto. Strangely, this boy was on Callisto’s own team.
Kids were weird. As he had this thought, Mike looked down to see his daughter trying to munch on another grasshopper she had caught.
“Grace. What did we say about eating grasshoppers?”
The Arachne, currently in her human form, stared up at her father, then looked at the grasshopper in her hand.
“Share?” she asked, holding up the bug on an open palm. It leapt away, disappearing into the grass.
“No eating soccer grasshoppers. Or soccer bugs. Or?”
“Soccer birds.” Grace’s human eyes flicked in the direction of a small bird that swooped overhead.
“Good girl.” He smiled at his daughter, then noticed that Callisto was being swapped back in. “Let’s go!” he shouted.