Lamentations of the Turnip Farmer
Copyright© 2026 by Snekguy
Chapter 5: Squire
Fantasy Sex Story: Chapter 5: Squire - After his fief is put to the torch, a lowly serf named Rian is taken captive by Orcs. The women cart him back to their stronghold and put him to work cooking, cleaning, and serving them. Little do they know, his new situation is a marked improvement. For the first time, he has a soft bed, plentiful food, and a warm hearth. Will his hosts ever find out that he's only pretending to lament his new role?
Caution: This Fantasy Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa Consensual Romantic Heterosexual Fiction Farming High Fantasy Humor FemaleDom Light Bond Polygamy/Polyamory Massage Oral Sex Petting Pregnancy Tit-Fucking Voyeurism Big Breasts Muscle Mommy Size
“Sparring?” Rian asked, pausing to take a bite of his fried egg. “What, like knights?”
Morning had broken, and the women were sitting around the dining table, eating another hearty breakfast of eggs and bacon that he had prepared for them. He occupied his usual place at the edge of the firepit, balancing his dish in his lap, but he wasn’t offended. He was a slave, after all, and he couldn’t expect to be given a seat.
“We must keep skills sharp,” Sharog explained, breaking a yellow yolk and dabbing it with a piece of fried bread soaked in butter. She paused to eat, relishing the taste for a moment before continuing. “We cannot let ourselves grow weak between raids.”
“Those who do not practice war and train body to fight are doomed to dishonor,” Urami confirmed with an enthusiastic nod. It was probably the first thing anyone had said in the last few days that she wholeheartedly agreed with. Enthusiasm radiated from her – he could tell how important this was in her eyes. She clenched a fist and flexed a tan bicep the size of his head, the muscle bulging, threatening to snap the leather bands that she wore above it. “We must stay strong and sharp. Krak’tul commands us to hone bodies like blade.”
“Then I shall have to keep you fed with plenty of meat,” Rian replied. “You’ll need it.”
It seemed that their Orcish strength was not solely a product of their nature, then. They must train and spar regularly, taking pains to hone their skills and maintain their impressive physiques. It might even be a part of their religion, like going to church to pray or observing fasts.
“It will be good opportunity for you to learn,” Sharog added with a gesture to Rian. “We will have you squire. You will clean armor and sharpen weapons.”
“First, we must see off caravan,” Ghorza interjected over a mouthful of bacon. Having good table manners was not commanded by Krak’tul, evidently. “Traders leave for Southern lands today.”
“Oh yes, you were helping them load their carts yesterday,” Rian said with a nod. “Is it a terribly dangerous journey?”
“There will be no danger,” Sharog replied.
“I suppose you need not fear wolves or brigands,” Rian conceded. “Woe betide a thief who tries to steal from an Orcish caravan.”
“If it were dangerous, I would be going,” Urami insisted as she pushed her chest out proudly.
“Just so,” Rian replied, his sarcasm once more lost on her.
When they were done eating, they left the hut, leaving Rian behind to clean up after them. He cleared the table and scrubbed the boards, then loitered by the door, opening it to watch the caravan leave. The procession of six wooden carts had been lashed to horses, piled high with chests, barrels, and sacks that were secured with ropes and netting. A dozen Orcs followed along, leading the animals out through the main gate and off in the direction of the bridge, the sound of hooves and creaking cartwheels soon fading away. The Orcs who had remained behind returned to their business, and he spotted his three hosts returning up the dirt path. He moved out of their way, closing the door behind them when they entered.
“Now that courtyard is clear, we spar,” Urami insisted. She seemed restless, pacing and rolling her broad shoulders, cracking her neck.
“Don’t you want to let your breakfast settle first?” Rian joked. “You wouldn’t want to get a bellyache.”
She gave him a murderous look that prompted him to shut up. He watched in silence as she strode over to the weapon rack and selected a spear, weighing it in her hands, testing its balance.
“Do you spar with real weapons?” Rian asked warily. “And in armor, too?”
“There is not one kind of sparring,” Urami chided. “Dirt tender not know this. Is not big surprise.”
“I’m afraid that my martial capabilities are rather lacking.”
“We grapple,” Sharog explained. “This trains strength and endurance. Sometimes we train only with weapon to sharpen skills. Today, we train in armor. We must train as we fight. War is not pretend.”
“So Krak’tul commands,” Urami confirmed. “Train as you make war.”
“I suppose I’ll be squiring, then,” Rian sighed. “Truth be told, I’m not sure if I can even lift some of those armor plates you were wearing during our first meeting. They looked heavy.”
“I have idea,” Ghorza said, her playful tone filling him with concern. She placed a hand on his shoulder, steering him in Urami’s direction. “Turnip boy should squire for Urami first.”
“What?” Rian protested.
“Why?” Urami asked with a frown.
“Think,” Ghorza said, tapping her head with a finger. “You spend less time putting on armor, more time sparring. Train turnip boy like shiny men train squires. You take what makes them strong. Does Krak’tul not command this?”
“Turn weapons of foes against them,” she muttered, eyeing Rian. “Very well. But you will be silent, and you will do as I say,” she added sternly. “Do not test my patience.”
“You know, the worst thing about being a slave is not being able to argue,” he grumbled as Ghorza gave him an encouraging push in Urami’s direction. He walked over to join her, and she led him behind her wooden screen, Rian finding himself in what served as her bedroom. It wasn’t too different from those of Sharog or Ghorza, with a bed, weapon racks, and shelves for her belongings. There were noticeably more skulls, however...
None seemed to have been taken from humans or other Orcs, thankfully. Most seemed to be from animals like deer and wolves, perhaps hunting trophies. They were lashed to racks on the wall with rope that was fastened through their empty eye sockets, many of them painted with colorful runes or symbols, the purpose of which he could not discern. He had seen similar fetishes throughout the camp, notably on the main gate.
Urami was already dressing, planting a boot on her bed and lashing a leather belt around her thigh, yanking it tightly enough to make Rian grimace. Maybe that was why her skin was tan instead of green – no circulation. She repeated the process with the other leg, the belt cutting an indent into the meat of her thigh, the rest of her clothes creaking as she moved. Like Ghorza, she wore a leather sling that compressed her chest, along with a sleeveless fur jacket over the top of it. Below, she wore a pair of leather shorts. They were fashioned in a similar style to the breeches worn by Sharog, with the same crude stitching through which bare skin was visible, but they ended just above her thighs.
“You will armor me,” she said, turning to him and gesturing to a rack mounted to the nearest wall panel. It was laden with clothes, the large plates of hammered iron hanging from leather straps. He moved closer and selected a segmented gauntlet and bracer, finding it surprisingly heavy, carrying it over to her. She extended her arm and let him attach it, Rian pulling the straps taut and buckling them. When he stepped away, she flexed her fingers, inspecting his work. There were no complaints, so he continued.
First the other gauntlet, then the shoulder pads, which were almost too heavy for him to carry. She grew impatient as he fumbled with one of the belts, snatching it from him and demonstrating how they connected. With both shoulder pads attached, he moved to her thigh plates, his face warming as he had to kneel in front of her to fasten them.
She was a beast of a woman, with the same powerful build as Sharog, albeit lacking much of the same softness. If her goal was to hone her body like a weapon, then she had done so, sharpening every dull edge until what remained was as keen as the point of a blade. Her presence alone was overwhelming. He felt like he was shoeing a horse that might lash out and kick his head off at any moment.
Urami’s thighs were almost as girthy as his torso, and he practically had to hug them to fasten the belts, watching abdominal muscles that could have been chiseled from granite tense when she felt his breath on her skin. He could smell the soap on her from the night before, and he could even see the remnants of the faded blue pigment on her belly from the original raid so many days prior.
The greaves came next, and when they were securely fastened, he moved to pull her massive chest piece down from the rack.
“No,” she said, stopping him. “War paint first.”
“You wear war paint during sparring?” he asked. “Is that necessary?”
“We train as we fight,” she growled.
“If you say so,” he conceded. He’d already painted Ghorza’s face, so he recognized the little clay vessel that contained the pigment, lifting it from a nearby shelf. As he approached Urami again, she dropped to a knee, her weight enough to shake the floorboards. Leather creaked and metal chimed, the suddenness of the motion making Rian recoil.
She had brought her face into his reach, and he got the closest look at her features yet. Like her counterparts, she had a strong jaw and defined cheekbones, her long ears tapering to points like the blade of a knife. Through the cartilage of her nose was a sharp bone piercing, and her ears were similarly adorned. There was nothing primitive about the jewelry – the bone elements had been carved into shape and whittled down, decorated in places with fine carvings not dissimilar from Ghorza’s tusks. There were metal elements holding them in place, and it was all very purposeful in spite of its outward suggestion of savagery.
Upon her brow and cheeks were those pinprick scars, creating an even, geometric pattern of small bumps. It almost looked like she had little beads beneath her tan skin. Two tusks emerged from a pair of full lips, her amber eyes framed by long, thick lashes that batted when she blinked back at him. She was captivating in a kind of dangerous way, like a venomous snake with beautiful scales, her brow furrowing as he hesitated.
“Hurry up,” she complained, prompting him to continue.
He dipped two fingers into the pigment, coating them with the vibrant blue paste. It must linger for a long time, because his digits were still subtly stained with Ghorza’s red pigment. The faded lines on Urami’s face still remained, so he had an example to follow, and he brought a hesitant hand to her forehead. She hadn’t let him touch her during her baths, so he felt like he was crossing some kind of threshold. Were it not for his performance with the wolf, he wondered whether she would allow even this level of contact.
Starting near her hairline, he dragged his fingers down her face, following the faded pigment like a map. She closed her eyes as he passed them, moving down her cheek and all the way to her chin. The scars were firm, almost like seeds, but her skin was otherwise remarkably soft and clear. He should not be so surprised, as the Orcs were fastidious in their grooming habits.
He dipped his fingers into the jar again and repeated the process, Urami opening her eyes when she felt him finish to find him peering back at her. She averted her gaze quickly, as did he, the Orc rising to her full height. Turning to her dresser, she examined his work in the mirror, moving her head left and right.
“Acceptable,” she said.
Rian let out the breath he was holding.
“Now here,” she said, gesturing to her back. Of course. Unlike Sharog and Ghorza, Urami had war paint all over her body. She walked over to her bed and sat down facing away from him, the wooden frame creaking under the weight of the armored Orc. Without her cuirass, she wore only her leather sling, reaching back to unbuckle it. Now that the garment was out of his way, Rian could see the unbroken trails of faded blue that ran from her shoulders to her belt. One ran down her spine, and it was flanked by two more. There were more tiny scars across her shoulders, reaching a short distance down her back to form a kind of shallow triangle shape.
Rian dipped his fingers into the pigment, starting with the leftmost line, drawing a careful trail that began at her heavily muscled shoulder. He should be used to it by now. The sight of those sculpted muscles shifting beneath her skin at his touch should be no surprise to him, and nor should the way that her soft skin contrasted with the firm tissue beneath, but it was something that never stopped being captivating. From a distance, one would think that their bodies were as hard as stone, and their skin would have the texture of sun-baked leather, but that just wasn’t the case.
These lines were a lot longer, and he had to scoop out some more pigment, the small of her back growing more defined as she flexed at his touch. Next came her spine, the Orc arching it involuntarily as his digits followed its flawless curve, a shiver passing through her.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Am I tickling you?”
“I am not tickled,” she grumbled. “Your touch is too light. Press harder.”
He slid his fingers down to the base of her spine, stopping just above her belt, allowing himself a moment to admire her now that she couldn’t see him.
“Did it hurt?” he asked, moving up to her right shoulder and refreshing his pigment. “These scars?”
“Yes,” she replied.
“What are they for, if you don’t mind my asking? Do they ... have some meaning?”
“When we come of age, shamans mark our bodies with thorn of rakka plant,” she began. “Rakka is sacred to my people. Its poison brings pain, separates those who are not ready. Ritual of scarring honors Krak’tul. We prove that we are prepared to face pain without fear. Scars brand us as warriors.”
“You prick yourselves with a poisonous thorn?” Rian asked with a grimace. “I noticed that the others don’t have them.”
“There are many Orcish tribes South of valley,” she explained. “Many different customs. Raiding parties and colonies often formed from many different peoples. Tribes send best warriors and settlers.”
“Is that how you met Sharog and Ghorza?” he continued as he painted. “You were all assigned to some kind of mission together?”
“We raid together for many years,” she explained. “Chieftains honor us. Choose us to represent tribes.”
“It’s not so different from the way we do things, I suppose,” he said. “In times of war, the King calls upon the knights of the realm to serve him in battle, and they form a host. I’d suppose that the best knights would be sent on the most important missions – not that I know much about such things.”
The final line was soon painted, and she reached back to buckle her sling again, rising to her feet. Rian wondered if they were done, but as she turned to face him, he was reminded of the faint lines on her belly. She walked around her bed and stood before him, her yellow eyes peering down from what seemed like a great height. He might only be playing the part of the subservient captive, but Urami’s presence was so dominating that he felt a natural desire to lower his gaze.
She gestured to her belly, guiding his eyes there.
“We are not done,” she ordered.
Rian dipped his fingers into the jar once more and brought them to her torso, starting just beneath the hem of her sling. As he trailed them down her flat stomach, he was given no choice but to feel the mounds of her abs beneath them, tensing at his touch to become taut and more defined. Those bunches of firm muscle were the size of apples, as though she was smuggling half a dozen of them beneath a silk shirt, the smoothness of her skin broken up only by the occasional trailing vein or scar.
The blue paint stood out starkly against her complexion, drawing a bright line down past her navel, following the contours of her muscles. He rose to her sling again, the Orc leaving him no option but to let his gaze linger, Rian starting the second line.
“T-try not to move,” he stammered as she flexed, her abs casting shadows. “I don’t want to make a mistake.”
“I am not moving,” she complained.
“You’re flexing.”
“I am not flexing.”
“If you say so...”
He reached her belt again, then stepped back to appraise his work. She now had two vertical lines running down her torso. She leaned forward a little to see over the considerable shelf of her bust, seeming to approve.
“Perhaps shiny men are not so foolish to have squires,” she mused. “It saves time.”
“This stuff doesn’t come off easily, does it?” Rian complained as he brandished his stained fingers.
“It must endure sweat and rain,” she explained.
“Makes sense, I suppose.”
“You will finish armoring me,” she insisted.
He gave her a sarcastic bow, then returned to the rack, attempting to lift the heavy chest plate. It was almost impossible for him to carry, and he struggled over to Urami, supporting it with two hands. She took it from him with the same ease he might lift a jacket, cocking an eyebrow at him as she placed it over her chest.
“I don’t know how you even walk around with that thing on,” he grunted, rolling his shoulders as he moved behind her to fasten the straps. All that remained was her helmet with its matching paint, then her spear, and the pair emerged from behind the screen to find the other Orcs waiting for them.
“Well?” Ghorza asked with a grin. “How did he do?”
“I can see the use,” Urami admitted, giving him a glance through the shadowy slat in her helmet.
The three armored women made their way out of the hut and down the dirt track with weapons in hand, Rian stopping at the door to watch. There was already a group of Orcs assembling in the courtyard below, all similarly armed and armored, forming a wide circle when his three hosts reached them. Within the circle, two warriors stepped forward, brandishing their weapons and beginning to square off.
Metal clashed as they lunged at each other, swiping and parrying with axes, swords, and spears. It went without saying that the Orcs were strong, but seeing them in action really reinforced how powerful they were. They were quick and agile in spite of their immense size, rippling muscles propelling their heavy bodies with alarming speed, their weapons flashing in the sunlight. Armor that he could barely lift seemed as light as linen to them, and even as someone who had never picked up a sword, he could tell that they knew how to move in it. They dodged and weaved, stepping out of range of their opponents, only to leap in with a jab or a swing. It was rather alarming to see them using real weapons, as the possibility of injury seemed high, but they weathered the punishing blows to their armor.
Once a victor was decided, another pair entered the circle, the onlookers cheering and shouting their encouragement as the next duel began. When Urami’s turn came, she loosed a great bellow, charging in with her spear in hand. It was hard to shake the notion that she should be clumsy and slow due to her hulking size, but she was remarkably agile, Rian watching in awe as she danced and weaved. She flowed like water, her movements fluid and sinuous, impossible to pin down. Her opponent swung a battle axe at her head, and Urami bent over backwards to avoid its blade, her sparse armor allowing her some impressive range of motion. Light on her feet, she leapt into the fray, pushing off the ground and sending her massive frame rising a good foot into the air. She brought down the wooden haft of her spear on her opponent’s shoulder as she descended, making him buckle under the blow, but he was quick to recover.
The sound of wood on wood rang out as they traded strikes, blocking and parrying using the hafts of their weapons, the two seeming to get closer and closer. They grappled, weapons locked together, and Rian winced as Urami’s opponent punched her square in the face with a gauntleted fist the size of an anvil. Her helmet must have absorbed the worst of it, because she drew it back and slammed it into her assailant, headbutting him. He staggered back a few paces, and it was enough room for her to hook the haft of her spear around his foot, pulling it out from under him.
Her opponent crashed to the ground, his iron armor clattering, and she brought the tip of her spear to his throat swiftly. When he conceded, she extended a hand, hauling him to his feet. There seemed to be no resentment, and soon, another pair entered the circle.
Rian watched for a while longer as more of the Orcs took their turns, showing off their strength and martial prowess. It was hard to imagine even a knight on horseback prevailing against them, and certainly not on foot. Once again, he had envisioned savagery and blind aggression as their style of combat, but the Orcs were far more refined than that. There was plenty of throwing, shoving, and wrestling, but they were precise with their weapons.
He watched Sharog swing her axe around, using the flat of its blade to knock down an opponent, as strong as an ox. She seemed an immovable obstacle, weathering blows that would have killed a human, standing almost as still as a statue as a sparring partner barreled into her with his shoulder. Using her weight to her advantage, she simply knocked him off balance, darting in to wrap her powerful arms around his waist. He delivered a vicious jab to her helmet with his elbow, but she was unfazed, lifting him off his feet with a growl and tossing him to the dirt.
Ghorza used a short sword – it was short to her, at least – putting her athleticism on display. Even in her armor, she was still lithe and flexible, frustrating her opponent with her ability to dance beyond their reach. She forced them to over-commit, tiring them like someone breaking in a wild horse, their blows striking only air. Only when they were exhausted and beginning to make mistakes did she move in for the proverbial kill, striking swiftly, using her foe’s weight against them. She turned a desperate lunge from her partner into a throw, tossing them to the ground, subduing them with a knee on their back and a blade at their throat.
It was hard not to feel that warmth rising within him again, his heart skipping a beat as Sharog pulled off her helmet and shook out her curtain of raven braids, soaked with sweat. Ghorza had taken off her chest piece to air it out, her vibrant green skin gleaming in the sunlight, just as wet as when she had joined him in the river. He’d never seen a woman move the way they did, and their stamina far outmatched his own, as young and fit as he was. He wondered again whether Ghorza would make good on her threat. If this was how the Orcs fought in a friendly sparring match, how did they make love? Would he find himself just as exhausted and subdued as their opponents?
The sparring continued late into the evening, the sun dipping low in the sky, and the three women returned up the winding path. He opened the door for them and followed them inside, the Orcs already shedding their equipment. Rian scurried around, picking up helmets and pieces of armor, returning weapons and belts to their racks.
“Come,” Urami barked, waving him over. He hurried to her side and began to help her disrobe, unfastening the buckles that held on her gauntlets and sliding them off. As more pieces of armor were removed, more tan skin was exposed, the Orc veritably drenched in sweat. It trickled down her toned stomach and thighs in rivulets, droplets of it catching the firelight, making her body glisten like a field of stars on a cloudless night. The blue paint had indeed endured, still stark and vibrant.
“You seem to be in a good mood,” he noted, kneeling to take off her thigh armor. It was impossible to avoid touching her while unfastening the belts, her skin fever-hot and soaking wet.
“Sparring is good for the soul,” she said, rolling her shoulders. “I feel better now.”
“Urami grows restless if she cannot fight,” Ghorza explained, wiping down her face with a piece of cloth. “She likes to feel muscles burn.”
“It is a good pain,” Urami said, practically glowing by her usual surly standards. “Krak’tul teaches that only through suffering do we grow.”
“You will prepare bath before dinner,” Sharog ordered, peeling off the bandages she had wrapped around her hands to protect them.
“Yeah, I think you need it,” he replied as he turned to carry Urami’s armor to her rack. He returned to see Ghorza stretching, the Orc shedding the last piece of her armor and extending her arms above her head. She cocked her wide hips, then bent over backwards, her hands touching the floorboards behind her. Her spine formed a perfect arch, and she flipped over in a single smooth motion, her toes pointing at the fabric ceiling for a moment before coming to rest on the floor again. She stood up straight and cracked her back, letting out a satisfied sigh.
“What?” she asked, her red braid swinging as she turned to see him staring at her. “You must stay limber to avoid injury.”
“That’s true enough, I suppose,” he mumbled as he stooped to collect her armor.
Rian stoked the fire as the Orcs lounged in their tubs, steam rising from the hot water. They were even more relaxed than usual, some good, hard exercise even leaving Urami notably more content than he had ever seen her. As he prodded the glowing coals with a poker, he watched her raise an arm, sliding a soapy hand along the muscular limb.
“Turnip boy,” Ghorza cooed, her tone playful. “Come. I have need of your soft hands.”
He knew the routine by now, rolling up the sleeves of the silk shirt he was wearing and fetching the oil, massaging it into her tired muscles. She sagged a little deeper into the water with each stroke of his fingers, an expression of quiet bliss etched onto her face.
“It was impressive, seeing you all sparring today,” he began as he loosened the tight muscles in her neck. “It’s no wonder you were able to carve through the fief the way you did.”
“That was raid,” Urami explained, watching Ghorza shiver as Rian crawled his fingers down her spine. “Not true battle. Only steel men – knights, as you say, stand and fight. There were not many. Most others ran. Except you.”
“I believe I am vindicated in my decision to turn down Sharog’s challenge,” he chuckled.
“It is dishonor,” Sharog reminded him from her adjacent bath. “To fight and die is way of our people. You give up freedom here, in this world, and place at Krak’tul’s side in next. All to keep living.”
“I quite enjoy living,” he muttered. “I mean, oh yes, I’m so terribly overcome with guilt. I shall have to serve you forevermore in repentance for my cowardice.”
“See?” Ghorza murmured, opening one yellow eye as he began to wash her hair. “He smarter than you think. He can understand.”
“Their ways are not like ours,” Urami added. “He must be taught. Some lessons require strict tutor.”
“Teach me, then,” he insisted. “What’s the Orcish word for honor? It must be very important, the amount you all talk about it.”
“Ratul,” Urami replied.
“And what about captive?”
“Keesahn,” Ghorza replied, the suggestive tone in which she said it giving him pause. “Repeat it.”
“Kee ... sahn,” he muttered, much to the amusement of the women. Even Urami cracked a smile.
“And a Keesahn has no ratul,” he added, prompting more laughter. Maybe his pronunciation was off, but at least they were having fun.
“It sounds strange from your lips,” Sharog explained. “Your voice is ... too gentle for Orcish tongue.”
“I like how it sounds,” Ghorza said, leaning back as he combed her hair. “It is like ... music from flute.”
“I warn you that I can’t carry a tune,” he said.
“Maybe you should learn,” she chuckled, leaning into him as he ran his fingers through her red locks.
“Winter is coming soon,” Sharog interjected, changing the subject. “We are told it grows cold in this region.”
“Colder than it does in the south, I’m sure,” Rian replied. “Where I come from, the winters are harsh. The ground freezes and it becomes very difficult to plow, the trees shed their leaves, and it gets very cold. We try to grow what food we can to last us through the colder months. The valley might shelter you from the worst of it, and we traveled south for several days, but I can’t say for sure how bad it will be. This is your first winter here?”
“Colony is only a few months old,” Ghorza confirmed.
When he’d asked about the lack of children, they’d told him that the settlement had only been established a short while prior, so this must be their first winter in the valley.
“Well, you seem to have plenty of food stockpiled,” he said. “I saw a lot of goods in the storehouse that will keep for months. These huts seem quite warm, and you keep a good fire going at all times. You don’t have any crops to worry about. The river is too large and fast to freeze, I think. I hope the frost doesn’t kill all of my herbs...”
“The caravan will return before snow,” Sharog continued. “Bring back more supplies.”
“That’s why it had to set out with such urgency,” he mused. “The valley will probably become nigh impassable if you get a lot of snowfall. You may be stuck for a time.”
“We shall see,” Sharog replied.
“We shall see indeed,” he said, cupping his hands and rinsing the soap from Ghorza’s hair.
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