Lamentations of the Turnip Farmer - Cover

Lamentations of the Turnip Farmer

Copyright© 2026 by Snekguy

Chapter 1: Serfdom

Fantasy Sex Story: Chapter 1: Serfdom - After his fief is put to the torch, a lowly serf named Rian is taken captive by Orcs. The women cart him back to their stronghold and put him to work cooking, cleaning, and serving them. Little do they know, his new situation is a marked improvement. For the first time, he has a soft bed, plentiful food, and a warm hearth. Will his hosts ever find out that he's only pretending to lament his new role?

Caution: This Fantasy Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Romantic   Heterosexual   Fiction   Farming   High Fantasy   Humor   FemaleDom   Light Bond   Polygamy/Polyamory   Massage   Oral Sex   Petting   Pregnancy   Tit-Fucking   Voyeurism   Big Breasts   Muscle Mommy   Size  

The crowing of a cockerel roused Rian from his sleep, and he blinked his eyes, the morning light that filtered in through his windows making him squint. He rose from his mattress and stretched with a grunt, scratching his back where some of the straw stuffing had pricked him during the night. Still nursing stiff muscles from the prior day’s toil, he swung his legs out of bed, his bare feet landing on the cold floor.

It was a humble home, as all homes of serfs were. The floor was beaten dirt lined with straw in places, its walls formed from stacked stones with a covering of pale daub for insulation. The low roof was made from thatch, with a hole at its apex where smoke from the stone hearth in the center of the room could escape, the ceiling crossed by rough wooden beams that formed a lattice. Many of them were laden with hanging baskets where food and other belongings could be stored, keeping them out of reach of vermin.

The cramped space was sparsely furnished with only the bare essentials, all crudely carved from wood. There was a trestle table currently strewn with a few tools and dishes, some stools and benches for seating, and a few chests for what little he had of value. The room would have been larger had it not been split in half by a dividing wall. On the other side was an animal pen for the pigs where they could be kept sheltered, their grunting and grumbling rising in volume as they heard their master moving around.

It was a brisk morning, and his first order of business was stoking the hearth in the center of the home, unearthing a few lingering embers with his poker. With some errant kindling, it was enough to get a small fire going – sufficient to warm the water for his morning wash. He filled a tin pot from a barrel in the corner of the room and set it on the stone, then slipped on some leather shoes and pushed open his front door with a creak of rusted hinges.

Rian shivered as the cool morning breeze tugged at his linens. August was coming to an end, and winter was beginning to rear its ugly head again. Before him, the rolling fields stretched to the horizon, a few other homesteads just visible in the distance. They were broken up by small coppices and larger stretches of woodland, the sky above them gray and overcast. As a serf, Rian worked the Lord’s land and was responsible for three of the fields, planting crops on a seasonal rotation. They had already harvested the barley earlier in the year, and the wheat before that, leaving the great field looking empty and barren. It was turnip season now.

Rian hated turnips.

He took a left and checked on the chicken coop beside his dwelling, briefly fighting off an angry rooster, then opened the door to release the pigs into their adjacent pen. The three animals came charging out, eager for their morning feed, and Rian took a few minutes to fill their trough and water them. He scattered some seed for the chickens, then returned to his home, finding the water ready.

It was warm enough to stave off the cold, and he washed himself with a damp rag, then began to dress for the day’s work. He pulled on his scratchy woolen tunic and pants over his linen undergarments, fastening them about his waist with a leather belt. Wool was a hardy material, and it would help to keep him warm during these cooler months.

Breakfast was the most important meal of the day, and despite his meager means, it was best to start his labors with a full belly. His meal today consisted of slices of heavy, stale rye bread from two days prior. Bread was cooked in communal bakeries in the nearby village, and he rarely ate it fresh every day. Wheat bread was tastier, but that was usually reserved for the Lord and the higher strata of society. Along with it, he ate some cheese and an apple, his drink a large tankard of ale. The water from the barrel was for bathing and cleaning, not for consumption. Ale was much safer, and a source of nutrients in itself.

Meat was not usually a part of his diet. Chicken and pork were sometimes available depending on the season, as was fish from the nearby river, but beef and game were beyond his means. The coppices and woods were rife with wild game. He had seen rabbits, pheasants, and even fallow deer with regular frequency as he worked the fields. That land was reserved for the Lord, however. In times of scarcity, some of the serfs took the calculated risk of poaching, but the price of being caught was a steep one. The Lord of the manor was not a kindly or forgiving man, and nor was his bailiff prone to spontaneous acts of charity. The bailiff’s job was to manage the serfs in their work, and the man seemed to take a sick pleasure in it.

With his hunger sated, Rian gathered his tools and prepared to leave. Before heading out, he took a moment to pour out the leftover water from his wash basin on the small herb garden just outside the house. It was one of his few small pleasures, where he grew herbs and vegetables to enhance his meals. There was parsley, dill, mint, chives, fennel, sage, rosemary, thyme, basil, and even a few greens like spinach and cress. It wasn’t merely grains that he knew how to tend, and he had become adept at making the most of what he had. That done, he made his way over to the field.

The earth had been plowed the day before, and his task today would be sowing the turnip seeds – a most unenviable task even in favorable weather. The cold had left the ground hard and difficult to work with, and weeds had already taken root since the harvesting of the barley, making the work even more tedious. The hardy root vegetables would grow in poor soil and tolerate colder weather while the other fields renewed ready for the next year’s planting. They would sustain the villagers throughout the winter, but they were a bitter vegetable, even for someone of his culinary resourcefulness.

As he crouched and pulled up a handful of weeds, digging at the cold earth with a trowel, he glanced up at the hill in the distance. The Lord’s manor rested atop it, tall and grand, its stone battlements dwarfing the settlements that surrounded it. From atop its high towers, colorful banners bearing the Lord’s sigil fluttered in the wind. There was a great wooden wall that acted as another layer of defense, further isolating it from the peasantry below.

It was hard not to look at its grandeur and feel as bitter as the turnips he would soon be eating. Rian was not a slave in name, but his fate was tied to that of the land. The Lord of the manor owned the fields that he worked, and so he owned Rian, in a sense. Lords might come and go, but as long as the land remained, so would Rian. As well as being responsible for tending the fields, he also had to pay taxes to the Lord in the form of a portion of his harvest – a third of his takings. The church took another third in tithes, leaving him with barely enough to survive. It was just sufficient to keep him alive and working, ensuring that he could never earn what he needed to buy his freedom or improve his situation.

The serfs lived in the outlying hovels attached to the fields, while the free peasants who were not bound to the land lived in far nicer homes in the village, along with craftspeople and merchants. They were able to sell their produce to other settlements and own the land they worked, and they could move around as they pleased without needing permission from their Lord. Deeper still, behind the wall that encircled the Lord’s demesne, lived the nobles and the clergy. They were at the top of the pile, living in relative luxury, fed by the labor of the farmers who toiled beneath them. In exchange, they offered protection and stability – so it was claimed.

There were many such fiefs and estates scattered about the countryside, each one headed by a Lord or a Knight who could be called upon to defend the realm and serve the King in times of need. Those times seemed sparse to Rian.

Despondent, he turned his eyes back to the ground, pushing a tiny seed deep into a furrow left by the plow.


Rian rose from his crouched position, standing up and straightening his back with a grimace. The day was half spent, and the sun was at its apex – not that he could see much of it through the gray clouds that hung over him. He had progressed about halfway down the long strip of field, and he would be expected to have the planting finished by sundown, lest he face the wrath of the bailiff. He would break for his midday meal soon, but it would be unwise to tarry. There was much yet to do, even after his toil was complete.

As a young man, he had not yet taken a wife, and he had nobody to share in his domestic duties. There were animals to take care of, clothes to wash, and much cleaning to do before he could rest.

He turned in the direction of his house, anticipating a nice warm bowl of peas pottage, but something was amiss. The sky above his thatch roof was dark – darker than even the most violent of storm clouds, a plume of black smoke rising from the horizon. He followed it down to the towering battlements of the manor, quickly realizing that it was ablaze.

Smoke and flame billowed from its narrow windows, and the once proud banners now hung charred and tattered, the fine stone marred by soot. It was too far away for sound to carry to the fields, but judging by the plumes of smoke rising from the settlements surrounding the castle, there was some manner of battle going on.

Running now, he crossed the three hundred feet or so to his home, moving around the pig pen and chicken coop for a better view. From this new vantage, he could see figures moving in the distance some three miles away. The wall surrounding the manor hid much of what was happening behind it from sight, but there were people running through the nearby village streets, some of them fleeing from buildings whose thatch roofs had been set alight.

Could it be bandits? Was some rival kingdom attacking the estate? Save for a contingent of guards and perhaps a couple of Knights, there was no standing army to protect the manor – no host that could fend off a powerful foe. In times of war, the common folk would be asked to take up arms and defend the realm, but Rian had received no such summons. As he wondered whether he should fetch a sickle or a hoe and try to help, he spotted a large figure moving between the houses.

It was a head or two taller than the average man, and far wider, with broad shoulders and arms that rippled with muscle. What detail he could make out at such a distance told of someone clad in crude armor, with heavy pauldrons of iron, their features obscured behind a beaten helmet. They were wearing leather and mail beneath the sparse plate, but where their skin was visible, it bore a telltale olive green hue.

These were not mere bandits, but Orcs – something far worse. How had they found their way so deep into the Kingdom without being stopped by the King’s army? The fief in which Rian toiled was situated inland – far from the reach of roving bands of savages who might threaten border towns. At least, that was what he had been told.

As he watched, the armored figure raised a war axe above its head, shaking the weapon at a pair of nearby guards in matching tabards that bore the Lord’s sigil. The men dropped the swords they had been holding and fled in a panic, disappearing from view behind a building. A second Orc appeared behind the first, the two savages knocking their helmets together in what might be amusement or triumph, jostling one another. They were moving through the settlement, sending the villagers scattering, kicking down doors and putting torches to the thatched roofs.

“Didn’t much care for that lot anyway,” Rian muttered to himself, sitting down on a stump as he watched the manor burn.

A few minutes later, he stepped inside to prepare some pottage, reemerging with a bowl and a mug of ale in hand. He returned to his seat on the stump, taking a long draw as he watched the fires spread. From what he could see, the Orc raiders appeared to be ransacking the village, emerging from the dwellings carrying chests and sacks of grain over their shoulders. The manor was all but engulfed now, the flames raging so viciously that one of the stone towers collapsed, falling into its own footprint with a billow of smoke and dust that swept over the wooden wall like a wave.

Perhaps Rian should have felt fear, or perhaps he should have sought a place to hide, but he had nothing of value for the Orcs to steal. They probably wouldn’t even come this way – wouldn’t even bother with the ramshackle houses far outside the economic center of the fief. As he watched one of the hulking Orcish warriors chase off a group of wealthy traders, he considered his options.

No Lord and no Church meant no taxes or tithes, and he could live off the land and more if he was able to keep his entire harvest to himself. He could also hunt in the woods, fish in the river, and do as he pleased. The King would send another Lord or noble to rebuild and reclaim the fief eventually, but how long might that take? Rian could have a couple of years of complete freedom and prosperity ahead of him.

There was no hurry to complete his planting before sundown, so he stayed put, finishing his lunch and sipping his ale. A few hours passed, with much of the village reduced to cinders and its inhabitants driven out. As the sun began to dip towards the horizon, the smoke painting the sky crimson, Rian spotted a figure running across the open fields towards him from the direction of the town. It was the bailiff – he would recognize that portly frame and fancy hat anywhere. The man was clutching a small chest under one hairy arm, his face pouring with sweat, a vision of terror etched upon his expression. Audibly panting, he ran straight past Rian without even seeming to see him, passing within throwing distance of the stump. Rian turned in place to watch as the bailiff ran off into the great field, heading for a patch of forest in the distance.

Chuckling to himself, Rian took a swig of his ale, then turned back around. His amusement was short-lived. Pursuing the bailiff was a trio of hulking figures, hot on the man’s heels, tarnished metal and green skin glinting in the dim light. It was too late – they had already seen Rian sitting on his stump. With a resigned sigh, he took another drink, waiting for them to cross the field. The three Orcs thundered to a stop with a clatter of armor some ten paces away, brandishing axes and spears as they squared up for a fight.

Now that they were closer, he could get a better look at them. Serfs were not scholars, and all he knew about their kind was what he had heard in passing – namely that they were a savage, tribal people from foreign lands that bordered the Kingdom in the South. All three of them were seven feet tall or more, with shoulders twice as broad as his own, the mismatched pauldrons that were strapped over them bulking out their profile even more.

They were wrapped in layers of chain mail, and unlike the shining armor worn by the guards and knights who Rian had come across in the village, none of it seemed to have been tailored to fit them. Like a pauper collecting a patchwork of ill-fitting and hand-me-down clothing, the scraps had been sewn or strapped across their massive bodies, while their sparse plates had been crudely hammered from iron. The only items of clothing that were truly suited to their frames was the leather, which they must have fashioned themselves. It was skin-tight, with straps and belts that dug into their green flesh, its dark brown contrasting with the unnatural hues of their skin.

Only now did he realize that these were women. They might be stouter and more muscular than the largest Knight in the realm, but the way that their chests bulged out beneath their crude plates and leather slings, and the way that their hips flared as wide as their shoulders left no doubts in his mind. Where their glistening skin was visible, he noted that each of them had a different hue. The left was a rich green, the middle a duller olive, and the right a color that bordered on tan. The crude helmets that they wore obscured their faces, like rounded pails with slots cut out for the eyes. The hammered metal was decorated with animal teeth, horns, and colorful war paint.

The middle one stepped forward to address him, the thick stitching on the tight leather pants that she wore straining against her tree trunk thighs, her armored boots thudding on the grass. In fists as large as his head, she clutched the leather-wrapped handle of a giant war axe, the weapon’s double blade fashioned from the same beaten metal as her armor. She spoke – her voice deep and husky. It was muffled by her helmet, but undeniably feminine.

“You no run like others, small man?” she growled. It was clear that she had a limited grasp of his tongue, but she made herself understood. She raised the weapon above her head and shook it menacingly, letting out a thunderous bellow. “You challenge!?”

Rian merely sat on his stump and took another sip from his ale as her two companions shared a confused look. If she wanted to kill him, then there was really nothing he could do about it, so why panic? It wasn’t as if he was any threat to them. If he fled, they’d just as easily run him down.

“On your feet, then!” she demanded. “Die warrior’s death. Enter into the Halls of Krak’tul, like your steel men!”

She reached into a burlap sack that was hanging from her hip, producing a knight’s helmet made of gleaming steel, the feather atop its coif bouncing as she tossed it on the ground in triumph.

“Nah,” he replied, taking another drink. “I’m good.”

It clearly wasn’t the response she had been expecting, and she cocked her helmeted head at him, a curtain of dark hair falling over her shoulder.

“We take!” she barked, waving her axe at his thatch hut. “You too weak to defend. Your belongings, my spoils!”

“Go ahead,” he replied with a shrug. “I don’t have anything worth stealing.”

She spat an order to her companions in their guttural, harsh language, and they sprang into action. One of them stepped over the fence of his pig pen, hoisting a squealing pig over each shoulder with the ease that a man might lift a sack of grain. The second kicked his door off its hinges and marched into his house, Rian grimacing at the sound of furniture being broken and chests being splintered.

“Just do me a favor and don’t put it to the torch,” he sighed, having to lift his eye to peer into the slatted helmet. “I have to live here, you know.”

She let out another frustrated bellow and lifted her heavy axe above her head, bringing it down in the turf a few inches away from him with a tangible thud, throwing up clods of soil. Her hand moved to her belt, where she drew a short sword that was far too fine to have belonged to her, tossing it at his feet.

“You will fight!” she demanded, waiting for him to pick up the weapon.

“I’m not gonna fight you,” he scoffed, gesturing to her with his tankard. “You’ll smash me into the dirt like a fence post! Just take what you want and go.”

“Then you choose dishonor!” she hissed. “Your soul shall never feast at the great table of Krak’tul!

“Alright, whatever,” he muttered. “I just ate anyway.”

Her companion emerged from his house all but empty-handed, carrying only a few baskets of food by the ropes that had suspended them from the beams, along with an armful of his linens.

“Excuse me – those are my underpants,” he complained as she marched back over to them. “I haven’t even had a chance to wash those today.”

There was a brief exchange in Orcish, the three women seeming to debate, the way that they paused to glance at him suggesting they might be deciding his fate. They didn’t seem at all perturbed by the shrieking pigs. Whatever they were discussing seemed to amuse them, laughter and chuckling emanating from beneath their helmets, and they eventually turned to him.

“You surrender,” the lead Orc declared.

“Is that a question?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow. “You’ll have to speak up – I’m having a hard time hearing you under that bucket.”

“You refuse to fight?”

“I’m a turnip farmer, not a knight.”

“You mock Sharog,” she growled, rapping a fist against her chest plate. “I give you chance to die with honor. I send your soul to Krak’tul,” she added with a gesture to the sky. “You weak, turnip boy. Last chance,” she sneered, leaning in. She had to bend almost double to reach his level, her long hair hanging from beneath her helmet as her two companions snickered. “Take up sword. Defend honor. Die a warrior’s death on your feet – proud. Or else, turnip boy suffers dishonor of surrender. Forfeits dignity.”

“Can’t eat dignity,” he replied, crossing his arms adamantly.

“Then you choose submission,” Sharog laughed, looking back over her shoulder at her compatriots. “That makes you spoils, turnip boy.”

Moving faster than someone of her size should have been able, she shot out a hand, tearing him off the stump by his tunic and planting his face in the dirt. He began to struggle, but she was impossibly strong, pinning him with a single hand on his back as the other moved to her belt.

“Hey, getoff!” he grunted as she gripped his wrists and held them together. As the two other Orcs cackled at the scene, she bound his hands behind his back with a strip of leather, then did the same with his ankles, leaving him floundering on the grass like a beached fish. “What are you doing!?”

Sharog lifted him off the ground with ease and draped him over her shoulder, her heavy pauldron digging into his stomach. He was as helpless as a sack of grain now, his wriggling futile. All he could see from his upside-down vantage was the grass and Sharog’s ass in her leather breeches.

“Put me down!” he complained, kicking his bound legs. Sharog just laughed, patting his butt with her hand in a way that almost seemed affectionate.

“Quiet now, turnip boy. You come home with Sharog.”

“What!? No!” he protested. She jostled him as one of her snickering companions passed her another pig, the animal making even more of a fuss as she hoisted it over her other shoulder, its squealing ringing in his ears. “Put me down, you big green oaf!”

The Orc merely laughed at him, and Rian went limp in resignation as she carried him away across the field, his humble homestead diminishing into the distance. The smell of smoke and the clamor of looting let him know when he was nearing the village, the muddy streets below strewn with wreckage and glowing embers.

As he craned his neck to take in the burning buildings, he couldn’t for the life of him find any bodies. There were no dead peasants lying in the street, and no piles of slain guards. It seemed that, to the Orcs, anyone who didn’t stand and fight wasn’t worth their time. Maybe they were only focused on the spoils. They did pass by more Orcs, the creatures pausing with armfuls of loot to peer at him through their helmets.

His captor carried him up the main street, past ransacked shopfronts, to where a procession of a dozen horse-drawn carts was waiting. The animals stamped their hooves in the mud and snorted restlessly, clad in the same crudely hammered armor as the Orcs, their furry flanks painted with similar markings. Sharog tossed Rian into one of the carts, and he landed on a pile of grain-filled sacks and heads of lettuce that cushioned his fall, the trio laughing at him. They placed the pigs in a wooden cage along with several other animals they had appropriated, then left to help their comrades load more goods.

From his new vantage, he could see two dozen of the big green warriors tossing chests filled with valuables and sacks of appropriated food onto the other carts, one of them appearing from an alley with a sealed basket filled with squawking chickens. They were stealing anything that wasn’t nailed down, including entire barrels of ale, and he could even see one of them hauling a blacksmith’s anvil from one of the ruined structures. There wasn’t a human in sight, and judging by the condition of the homes, there wouldn’t be much to return to. Perhaps that was the point. They didn’t appear to be gathering other captives. From what he could see lying in the cart, surrounded by ill-gotten produce, he was the only one.

At least the seating was relatively comfortable.

He watched as the Orcs loaded up what must be the last of their haul, then they began to move out, slapping the horses on their rumps to encourage them to walk. They weren’t riding them, the Orcs forming columns to either side of the convoy of carts and marching along beside them, their armor and weapons clattering.

They made their way down the muddy road and out of the town proper, the manor gradually growing smaller, the billowing smoke still rising from it to darken the evening sky in an unbroken column. As they neared the border of the fief and passed into unkempt forest, Rian realized that it was the furthest he had ever been from home.

He should have felt a sense of loss. Everything that he had ever known was now behind him, and he had no idea where he would end up tomorrow, but it was hard to muster such an emotion. What was he really leaving behind other than taxes and tithes?

“Didn’t much care for that lot anyway,” he mumbled.


When night had fallen, the Orcs stopped to make camp, setting up several crude tents in a forest clearing. They resembled domes, each one formed from a wooden lattice that could be quickly erected, then draped with furs and canvas to insulate it from the elements. The gray sky had cleared somewhat, just enough moonlight making it through the clouds and the sparse forest canopy to see by. The horses had been tethered to trees for the night, and the carts had been left at the edge of the clearing, along with Rian.

He was still lying amidst the grain and cabbages, his wrists starting to burn where the leather straps still bound them. The host of Orcs was settling in for the night, some retreating to their tents while others assembled around a burgeoning campfire, sitting down on barrels and crates. They were beginning to shed their armor now, removing their helmets and heavy plates, giving him his first good look at the creatures.

From the limit of the flickering flame’s reach, Rian could see that there were more women among their number. In fact, there seemed to be as many women as men, easily identifiable by their impressive figures and long, raven-black hair. He had imagined the men to be even larger and more intimidating than their counterparts, but that was not the case. The women appeared to be just as tall and heavily built.

As they removed their bucket helmets, he saw that their faces were not monstrous at all – rather, their features were remarkably human. Their jaws were on the larger size to accommodate a pair of pointed tusks that curved upward, jutting a good inch from their lips, and their brows were thick and heavy-set. Defined cheekbones guided his eyes to pointed ears that swept back, laden with piercings of gold and bone, while their keen eyes bore an unnatural amber color. Their noses, too, were often adorned with metal rings or shards of bone. Their complexions came in every shade of green one could imagine, sometimes speckled with dark freckles like a chicken egg, the firelight picking out veins and prominent muscles wherever their skin was exposed.

They wore paint on their faces that matched their helmets – some cultural practice, perhaps – and they had elaborately decorated hair. The women had long, shiny manes that were braided and woven with all manner of beads and ties, while the men all had shaven heads save for a single thread that fell down from the back of their skull like a knotted rope.

Without their armor, they were more sparsely clothed than he had imagined. As they shed chain mail and plates, they exposed more leather with crude stitching. There were breeches, slings, and loincloths, with a plethora of belts and pouches reserved solely for weapons. Some of their clothes were lined with fur or wool, but he could tell that these people were not accustomed to cold, and they had not come prepared for winter. Could it be that they intended to leave these lands before the first snowfall?

The Orcs were talking in their guttural language, trading stolen food from the village as their supper, one of the males biting into an entire head of raw cabbage like he was eating an apple and seeming to enjoy the experience. There was a squawk that was abruptly cut off as one of the women beheaded a chicken with the swing of a large knife, then set about plucking its feathers, a skewer already waiting on the grass beside her.

“Hey!” Rian yelled, starting to squirm on his bed of burlap sacks. “Excuse me!”

They seemed to be ignoring him, so he managed to get his feet beneath one of the lettuces, kicking his legs and sending it rolling across the ground in their direction. That got their attention, and one of the Orcs rose from her seat on a crate, walking away from the fire.

“What you want, turnip boy?” she demanded. She planted her hands on her broad hips, cocking her head at him.

 
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