Chapter 5

“Is Richie...?” There wasn’t any need for me to finish the question.

“Yes,

“He is – he does.”

“Do you want to continue watching, David?”

Yes.

I want to keep watching.

The scene changed – it looks like it might even be a different... occasion? And the first thing I see is my mom, and she’s lying on her back on a big cushion and she’s fucking some guy, and it doesn’t look like Ed Conner, and I know by now that it’s not my dad. This guy looks younger, maybe my and Richie’s age, or may a few years older, and my mom has her legs around him, and it looks like they’re enjoying each other – a lot. But like I said, he wasn’t in the other video scenes.

“Who’s the guy that’s...,” I never thought I’d be asking this question, “Who’s the guy my mom is fucking.”

She hesitated for a second, but then said, “That’s Van’s brother, Ted.”

So both Van and her brother are also part of this... sex group ... with my Dad and Mom and Ed and Val ... and Carole?

So I watched, watched Ted Conner, Richie’s girlfriend’s brother. Only now he and Mom aren’t fucking anymore. Now he’s straddling her and he’s fucking Mom’s mouth. (Holy shit! – I can’t believe I just said that some guy is fucking my mom’s mouth!!) And he makes one last lunge into her mouth, and he must be in her throat by now and her fingernails are digging into his butt and he keeps thrusting into her mouth. And I can actually see her throat gulping and it’s obvious that she’s struggling to swallow the load of cum that he’s emptying into her throat.

And she’s not trying to get away! She’s trying to swallow his huge load – and she’s loving it!

I jerked my head away from the TV and looked at Carole. She stopped the video and turned to me...

And she kissed me, a gentle, reassuring kiss.

Because she knew that that’s what I needed – reassurance.

“David, how are you feeling – about what you just saw?”

How do I feel?

I couldn’t seem to find the words to describe my feelings. Because my feelings were... ambivalent.

Somehow, Carole seemed to know.

“You never saw – never thought of your mother... ‘that way,’ did you, David? Never thought of your mother as ... as a woman. She was always a ‘mom,’ right? And moms don’t do things like ... that.

“But you’re excited as hell, aren’t you?

“I mean, watching a hot woman getting fucked by a good-looking young stud? Don’t try to deny it, David. I was watching your face while your mother was getting fucked, ... and watching your cock, too. You were getting turned-on.”

I opened my mouth to protest ... but then realized – that would be pointless under the circumstances.

“No, don’t try to deny it, David – seeing your mom loving getting fucked by Ted Conner was turning you on, wasn’t it?”

And I remembered – that’s exactly what I saw when I watched the video – that my mom was loving it – loving what that stud was doing to her, or made her do. And I didn’t have to say it. Carole already knew.

But she wasn’t going to rub it in. She kissed me again, this time playfully.

“Besides, David – by now you should know – moms do do things like that, because if they didn’t, then you and I wouldn’t be here, would we?”

Oh, yeah. I kind of forgot.

Then Carole added, “Besides, it was pretty hot, your mom and Ted, wasn’t it,” and clicked the video back on.

There’d been a break in the action and now the camera was focused on a threesome of Carole, on her back and Dad’s fucking her while she’s eating Mom’s pussy, and I could hear my dad saying, ’”Take it, bitch – take my big dick,” and my mom’s voice telling her how good she was eating her and how Mom was “gonna squirt my cum in your fucking mouth, you little slut!”

The camera stayed on them long enough for Dad to cum in her and I guess for Mom to squirt her cum into Carole’s fucking mouth. Then it swung slowly to two couples that were on a bunch of cushions spread out on the floor. Both of the guys were lying on their backs and the women were riding on top of them.

And “riding” is definitely the word. Moving up and down, tossing their heads, working their hips around and back and forth. Even in the dim lighting I could see that one of the women had a blond ponytail.

Then the video moved to where you could see their faces...

... and I immediately recognized Van, Richie’s girlfriend. And the guy she was on top of was the same young guy that I watched fucking my mother earlier in the video. (Or maybe I should just accept the fact that Mom was fucking him every bit as much as he was fucking her.) Yeah, the guy Van was riding was Ted, her brother.

Then the camera turned to the other two people, and by now I’m able to recognize Mrs. Conner – Val, Van’s mother. And the guy she’s riding on is Richie.

Yeah, Richie – my best friend for 12 years – her daughter’s boyfriend.

And that’s when it finally got through to me: That for these people, when they are together like they are in these videos, that anyone can fuck – or anything – with anyone – and did.

And that includes, I guess, Carole.

My Carole.

My Carole?

She started the video again. It must have been a little later, and now I recognized Mrs. Conner. She was on her knees and getting it from behind from some guy, and again the guy looked like Ted Conner. Is that what I was watching – hot Mrs. Conner, getting fucked by her own son?

And all of a sudden I wondered, what did that mean for me? Does that mean that it’d be okay for me to fuck Mom? Or that maybe I’d even be expected to?

And I remembered how hot Mom looked in that first video, when she first took off her robe and turned around, and how hot she looked when Van’s brother Ted was straddling her with his cock down her throat...

... and the recording went black at that point, and Carole pressed the Stop button on the remote and turned off the TV.

And we just sat there like that, until Carole said, “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Was there? Is there?

“Is there something you want to ask me, David?”

I guess the very first thing was, “Why did you want me to see these ... videos?”

She took a deep breath, then waited, like she was collecting her thoughts or trying to decide what to say, or maybe she knew what she needed to say but not how to say it. I guess she finally got her words together.

“David, you needed to know this, about me. And not just that I did these things, but that I needed to do them. I needed the sex ... but I needed the human contact just as much.

““Even before he died, life with Richard’s father was – unusual. We were almost completely estranged from each other. There wasn’t any hostility between us, mainly because he wasn’t really ‘there” enough for there to be anything to be hostile about. And then when he died – and the way that he died – it left me completely empty. Richard was a godsend, and he was wonderful, but I still felt completely... hollow.

“And I went like that for more than a year after he died, and that plus the years before ... And I guess it took another woman to see, because that’s when your mother had that conversation with me and suggested that she understood what I needed, and that she had an idea that might help.

“You already know most of that. But what you asked was why I wanted you to see these. And the answer, I guess, is simple – you had to know. If we’re to be together at all then you have to know – that I’ve done these things, and why?

“So now I have to ask ... David? Can you still love me? Can you still be together with me?”

And she waited for me to answer. And I could see it, in her face and in her body – the anxiety – the fear.

I think she was 51 percent sure that my answer would be yes – yes, I can still love her, yes, I can still be with her...

... but also 49 percent afraid – afraid that I’d say no, “No, I can’t be with you...”

So ... how do I feel?

It wasn’t that difficult. Not difficult, because I’ve been grappling with that question since that first moment I witnessed her in that first video.

And the answer is “Yes.”

Yes, because videos or not, Carole Wilson is the woman who loves me, and still the same woman who played such an important role in my life all the years that I was growing up – or trying to grow up – and who helped make me the person that I am. And who over all those years became my idea of how a girl, and later, a woman, should be.

But how about the sex?

So, what about the sex? I was never hung up on the idea that I should find someone who’s a virgin. And, I mean, Carole was married and has a child, so I was pretty sure from the start that she wasn’t a virgin.

Okay, then what about the videos, of the group sex? Certainly that should be a deal-breaker, right?

So what if after Richie’s dad died, that instead she’d “dated” a bunch of guys – maybe dozens, maybe even more. And maybe some of them might not have been so “admirable,” maybe even getting her into risky stuff, or maybe some really sick shit? Somehow that would have been better – more “acceptable” – than her getting together with a group of solid, sober, responsible people like my parents, and even the Conners, who knew what she’d been through and cared for her and would look out for her?

No, what’s past is past.

But, ... where do things go from here?

“Carole, do you...,” and I couldn’t make the rest of the words come out.

She put her hand on mine.

“You want to know ... want to know if I want to keep going ... to ... those... evenings – is that right, David, you want to know that?