Chapter 1

I finished my business degree and impressed my father by doing a great job as a Vice President at his huge pizza chain. He retired the previous year, and things weren’t going as well as they had been. Being CEO and Chairman of the board was a huge challenge. We went from number three in the country to number four. We might fall to five if I didn’t make major changes soon.

I was stuck at an airport during a thunderstorm. Against my will I watched a show “Bossguy Incognito”, or something similar. The head of a company disguised himself to see how things were really going inside the business. I decided trying the same thing might help me understand my restaurant chain’s situation better.

I was proud of my long, stylish red locks, but decided I would take one for the team. I shaved my head and put on glasses and a fake moustache. Instead of “Jonathan”, I would use the name “Joe.”

The first location I checked was doing fine. The store manager was running the place well and had a good group of employees. I decided to give everybody there a small raise. The next three restaurants were doing about average, and no major changes were needed.

For the fifth location I chose a store that had lost money the last two years in a row, so that I could find out why. I wanted to know how the workers lived too. I’d never been poor, or even close, and wanted to see what it was like.

The regional manager got me in touch with one of the cooks, Colleen, who thought she was going to train me and rent me a room at her house for my first month on the job. Over the phone I told her I’d pay 200 a month for a room, and I could give her 100 up-front.

I had a taxi drop me off two blocks away at 4pm, and carried my backpack of clothes. Before ringing the doorbell, I heard a lot of commotion inside. When I pressed the button, a girl yelled, “Somebody get the door!”

A brunette about fourteen years old answered the door wearing sandals and a comically large man’s t-shirt. The hem of the shirt touched the bottom of her knees, and her hair was nearly as long. She was slightly under five feet tall, compared to my six and a half, and stared up at me quite a while.

My nose was pummeled by a surge of scents. I noticed cigarette smoke, multiple perfumes, hair spray, fried chicken, and pizza. The auditory assault on my senses at least matched the olfactory attack. I heard people running around and several girls speaking quickly at the same time. In what seemed like only seconds, I heard:

“Where’s the curling iron?” “Mom, I need sandwich bags for my lunch tomorrow.” “I shouldn’t have to use condoms if I’m already pregnant.” “Jessie’s using it.” “I need the pink high heels, where are they?” “Take an apple and an orange to school, I’ll get some bags tomorrow.” “I don’t know, wear the purple.” “You need to. If Eric finds out you’re knocked up, he’ll dump you. You should keep smoking too.” “But Brad hates purple!” “Mom! Jessie’s hogging the curling iron, and I need it!” “Wear the white ones then! They’re next to the bed.” “Use curlers and the blow dryer and ask your boyfriend to get you one.”

I’m an unusually bright guy, but couldn’t keep half of that in my head at the same time, or make much sense of it.

The small brunette in front of me said, “I’m Amy. Who are you?”

“Hi Amy, I’m Joe. Please tell your mother I’m here.”

Instead of walking, she screamed across the house, “MOM! JOE’S HERE!”

Her mother Colleen shouted back, “Take him to the living room!”