Chapter 5

Confronted by Sally’s dresser drawer of toys and tools, I felt my eyes go wide and my mouth hang open. I’ve never been able to conceal my emotions, and this time was no exception.

She had arranged a series of dildos, ordered by length. The smallest dildo was only three or four inches. My eyes moved from left to right, lingering over each increase in size. These were an incredible upgrade from my old shampoo bottle—realistic, with veins and exposed heads, and made from some kind of soft but resilient rubbery plastic.

In the back of my mind, the idea of using these toys caused some dampness down below. The largest one staggered me. I gasped.

“Wow! You’ve used all of these except that one?” I pointed to the one dildo which was still in its cardboard box. Then I put my hand down quickly, because it was visibly shaking.

“That’s right,” she said. Unbelievable! Then, Sally boggled me some more. “You see those things with the jewel on the end? I put those in my asshole.”

I had to put my hand out to grab the corner of the dresser and steady myself. “What? In your—OK, why?” I asked.

“I enjoy the feeling. They are solid metal and heavy, and they make anal sex easier.”

Sally waited while I, uh, digested (!) what she was telling me.

I admitted, “I’ve never had anybody or anything in my butt that didn’t come from, uh, upstream.”

“Eventually, almost everybody finds out it’s a lot of fun to play back there. Twenty million gay guys can tell you—back there is party central. It’s true for women, too. I’ll tell you one more thing.”

Oh, hell. What could be next?

“You can be double penetrated. That’s one in each hole.”

“Really? Why would you do that?” I couldn’t imagine.

“Let me put it this way. With two guys penetrating you down below, and one more in your mouth, it’s an incredible combination of sensations and I just about lose my mind. They call that being ‘airtight’ and you’ll see there’s lots of that DP stuff in porn.”

Porn? I didn’t, couldn’t watch porn. Watch on what? The iPad in her kitchen?

“I’m sure you know what you’re talking about.” My voice trailed off. I felt weak and childish, deep in self-doubt.

All that fear I carried bubbled up. I clasped my hands over my stomach, feeling anxious tension deep in my gut.

I never had any good sex, and I probably never would. How could someone like me have a place here, with all the loving parents and the three sexy people my age?

Right in front of her, I was showing Sally how sexually incompetent I was, even hopeless. Sally was all sexual confidence, knowledge, even power. She led her family with her Bodily Expressionism.

I had no hope of fitting in. In this house, I was the seventh wheel, while they enjoyed including Mom and Deb in their wild pleasure. I think Sally realized I was folding in on myself.

“Oh, Terri!” Sally swept me up in a hug, squashing our tits together. I’d never hugged a naked woman—another first. Against mine, her skin felt warm and soft. Comforting. I put my cheek into the hollow of her neck and pulled us together more tightly.

“I’m wasting your time. Deb is the sexy one. I’m just no good, no good at any of it.”

Sally took hold of my shoulders, almost roughly, holding me at arm’s length.

“Terri, you have to stop. I don’t know where this comes from, but it’s all wrong. You already told us, you picked the wrong men, and you learned the wrong things from them. If John saw you upset like this, he’d hunt down every one of those fools who hurt you and stomp them into jelly.”

“Jelly?”

“Fuckin’ A. My husband has very strong ethical limits, otherwise he’d have taken you to bed as soon as you got here. He loves you. I love you. Patty and Deb love you, of course. And my sons think you’re just as hot as your sister. The only reason they haven’t touched you is they are respecting your choices.”