Chapter 77

The One With A Flurry Of Activities

A R I E L L E

“Look!” I say with a gasp, pointing towards a waterfall flowing a short distance away.

Nate smiles as he sees my excitement, grabbing hold of the side of my kayak to pull it beside his. He carefully puts his paddle down and then reaches his free hand over to grab my cheek, turning my face to his. His mouth descends upon mine and when he pulls back, he whispers, “I love you.”

I want to question him on what that was for, but I decide against it. He’s looking at me with such adoration that it completely fucking melts me into a puddle of mush.

“It’s beautiful here, innit?” Nate questions as we observe the water falling against some rocks, where it runs down to the surface of the lake.

“Very,” I agree.

I’m not entirely sure what I expected this area of Canada to be like. I honestly didn’t think much about it when I’d decided to vacation here. About the only thing I figured was that it’d be quiet, serene, calm.

But it’s so much more than that. The few people we interacted with since we’ve been here were super fucking nice, the views are gorgeous, the food has been delicious, and I’ve felt an awful sense of relief ever since we landed.

I hope Nate has felt it too.

“We should probably head back, babe.”

He’s right—if we’re too late, we’ll miss the ATV ride and zip lining experiences we have planned this afternoon. However, it’s hard to kayak back when it’s so peaceful and relaxing out here.

He quickly paddles around me and I follow suit, pulling up beside him.

“I don’t mean to ruin the mood, but I have to ask—” I take a controlled breath, glancing off at the lake in front of us as we continue to paddle across it. “Do you think you guys put Ezra away for good?”

By the time I peer over at him, it’s obvious that he’s visibly tensed from the sound of my inquiry, but he hides it quickly. “We had audio tape of him talking about paying off judges, of him chatting about setting you up falsely for a crime. We had evidence of his drug smuggling racket, names, locations—all that shit. I trust Hayes when he says we’re good.” He stops as he speaks, the conversation intense, as he pulls his kayak to the side of mine.

It’s weird how full circle this shit has come. When I first introduced Hayes to Nate ‘s life, he fucking hated the guy. Hate isn’t even a strong enough word to describe it, because eventually he hated him at the same level he hates Ezra at.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that they’re not only getting along, but that they trust one another and are low key friends. It’s definitely something to get used to.

Is he wrong to trust Hayes? I know that Hayes explained everything away with proof, but can he really, truly be trusted? Maybe I’m just reading into things too much, but it’s hard for me to fully put that sort of faith in someone who’s burned me. Don’t get me wrong, I believe everything he told me and he pulled through on what he said he was going to do, but there’s still that tiny part of me that isn’t sure.

However, it’s possible that’s just Ezra’s doing. He makes me distrust nearly every single person in my life. The only people I know are solid are Nate and Chase.

I relate it like this: when it comes to a court case and people on the jury, they say that for someone to be convicted, you need to be absolutely sure that there’s no reasonable doubt. If someone says something, states some sort of fact, provides some sort of evidence—and you pause—then that’s reasonable doubt. That pause is the moment where you think that there’s a chance of something—either guilt or innocence.

When it comes to Nate and Chase, there isn’t a pause. There isn’t a single fibre in my being that believes they’d ever intentionally wrong me.

Every other person, there’s potential for a pause.

It’s become the norm for me and I’m acutely aware of the fact that isn’t the norm for everyone else. I honestly think it’s become a part of Nate ‘s life as well now, especially after working for Ezra. It’s something I wish I was able to remove from our lives—like taking a vacuum to a clump of dark fur on a light-coloured rug, I desperately desire to be able to suck up and effectively rid of that dirt.

I still haven’t mustered up the courage to ask Nate more in depth about his days alongside Langley. It’s inevitable that I’ll find out everything he experienced, but I’m just unsure of how well—if at all—I’ll be able to handle the gory details. I’m positive he did some dark shit. He’s hiding it well, but I’m aware of the demons he spoke of.

They’re evident in the way that he seems tired. In the way that he—a night owl—wakes up in the wee hours of the morning and exercises. It’s obvious in the way he’s beginning to bulk up and I fear it’s because he believes something, or someone, is coming for him. It’s in the times when he’s lost in thought. When he’s taking a second glance over his shoulder that he doesn’t think or realize I notice.

It’s small. Anybody that hasn’t spent any significant amount of time with him would never know, but I understand him more thoroughly. I’m better able to get him, but I’m also able to comprehend Ezra’s actions more intimately. He ticks in a certain way and I’ve had enough time with him that I can often figure out where his head is at. Although, I’m not always right on that either because he’s not only intelligent, but he’s cunning and manipulative.