Chapter 48

The One Where He Has Changed

H A Y E S

Tossing over in my bed, I can’t push away the feelings of emptiness. The emptiness of this room is nearly suffocating, a perfect representation of my life.

I can feel myself distancing from those I was once close to, but I can’t seem to fix anything. I can’t even bring myself to care enough to make the effort.

When I take a glance at the clock, I’m upset to notice that it’s only three in the morning. I’ve spent the last four hours staring at the ceiling, praying for sleep that never came. It’s become something so regular that I’m not even sure why I bother climbing into bed anymore. I know I won’t fall asleep, so why bother trying?

Frustrated, I toss the covers off and head to the bathroom. I splash some water on my face, staring at my reflection in the mirror as I run my hands along the beard that has begun to grow along my jawline.

Makes me wonder what Ari would think of my beard. Would she like it? Or does she prefer me with just a short brush of stubble? I’d like to think she would appreciate either one, so long as she can feel something against her skin.

I saunter into the kitchen, grab a glass of water and sit myself at the dining table. It’s hard to make sense of the mess of papers and other things that have been scattered amongst the surface, but I have some inkling of where things have been placed.

I make a small space so I’m able to put my glass down after taking a sip of water and yank my laptop out from under some papers. I wait patiently for the laptop to turn itself on and then click on the program in the top corner of my home screen.

The small red light flashes strongly right where it usually is and it’s both satisfying and nerve-wracking at the same time.

I ramble about in the settings until a second dot appears—blinking bright blue—but it’s not right beside the red dot where it should be and I have to swallow my anger. I shouldn’t be surprised and I also shouldn’t be angry but I can’t control the sudden feelings as they wash over me.

The red dot is Ryder Langley Andrews’ car.

Also known as simply Langley, as I’ve come to learn. Ari was probably right when she said the name on his license is likely fake, but I haven’t bothered to look into it.

I’d placed a tracking device on his car several days ago. Part of me figured since it’s Boxing Day and yesterday was Christmas, that he would’ve been spending time with his family and not spying outside Nate ‘s house, but I guess he has bigger fish to fry. Maybe he has bills to pay, maybe Ezra won’t let him do anything else, or maybe he just has no family or life outside work.

But that wasn’t the part that’s pissing me off.

The blue dot is Nate ‘s Camaro.

And it’s clearly parked a couple blocks from Ari’s house where he seems to be spending the night.

Again, yes, it’s Christmas, but part of me always hopes that something keeps them apart. As I’ve learned more about who Ezra Sullivan is and what he stands for, a large part of me is both surprised and worried by the fact that Ari seems so defiant of his demands. She seems insistent on doing whatever it is that Ezra doesn’t want her to do and the biggest piece of that is Nate.

I brush my fingers over my nose at the thought of him, wincing in pain when I remember how badly he fucked it up. When he rammed his fist into my face that day, he actually broke my nose. Luckily it was only a minor fracture so he didn’t make it crooked, but it was still painful as hell and wasn’t exactly a cheap doctor’s visit.

It was just another thing that proves how much of a shitty person he is. The dude is violent, a stoner, a player—I could go on and on, but I’d rather not think about him. He’s a fucking douche bag and I can’t fathom what Ari has ever seen in him.

Yanking my phone out from under some more papers, I unlock it and bring open the Snapchat application. I pull out to see the map, biting on my fingernails until I see Ari’s little person on the screen. She was active at home only a half hour ago.

What was she still doing awake at half past two in the morning?

My mind instantly suggests her and Nate were probably making love since it’s Christmas, but I shove the thought aside. She probably just got up to use the bathroom, checked her phone and went back to sleep.

Probably.

Hopefully.

I notice she’s updated her Snapchat story and so I click it to watch, reminding myself that she only really updates her Snapchat story and not her Instagram one because she’s managed to keep it more private. The first photo appears to be of a few presents. She’s included a caption that simply states Happy Holidays with a Christmas tree emoji along with a heart.