Chapter 16

The One Where She Considers Her Options

“No one really knows why they’re alive until they know what they’d die for.”— Martin Luther King Jr.

A/N: hello! It’s my birthday! 🎈show me some love with comments? 💕

A R I E L L E

“Oh, come on!” I tease, elbowing him in his side.

Hayes chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m dead serious. Totally wrecked my first bike. Went headfirst over the handlebars.”

I throw my head back in laughter at his story, glancing in his direction when he tells me to look. He’s lifted part of his shirt up to his chest where he points out the massive scar stretching from just below his armpit to nearly his belly button.

Not that he had to actually point it out because it’s fucking huge.

“Holy shit—” I mumble, running my fingers over the wound. He must’ve gotten tons of stitches in order to close this gash, and I can’t help but wonder how much that must have hurt.

I mean, that’s what he gets for being a fucking idiot in the first place, but still.

Hayes flinches at my touch, slightly jerking away from my fingertips. Must be ticklish. He yanks his shirt back down and shrugs his shoulders. Adjusting the giant bear in his arms, he tells me, “I was a kid. Didn’t know any better.”

Carnival music fills my ears as we make our way through the crowds. Hayes had taken me to an amusement park early in the afternoon, and I was desperate to get out of the house so I agreed to it. If I would’ve stayed home, my afternoon would’ve been filled with the sounds of Chase fucking some woman—sounding like a damn screen door banging in a hurricane.

I’ll admit, it’s been a really good afternoon. I hate to think how much I judged Hayes when I first met him. He’s cute. He’s different from the guys I usually hang out with and I actually am growing to really like him.

He’s lots of fun and he’s always trying to make me laugh and, I don’t know, it makes me feel damn good. It’s not hard to compare how things are with Hayes and I versus Nate and I.

With Nate, things are fast. There’s an undeniable connection. Like a moth to a flame, I don’t know that I can physically keep away from him. I’m so sexually attracted to him that it’s all consuming. But then, after we had sex the other day, it was obvious how chill we are with one another. We played video games, we smoked some choice weed, and we ate pizza and nachos until we were both completely full and the munchies had worn off.

So I can see how Nate is easy to hang with. It’s comfortable and it’s easy to be myself around him because I feel like he’s rather similar, but maybe too similar.

“You know this pussy’s mine, right?”

Thoughts of his foul fucking mouth are enough to drive me mad.

That’s not to say I haven’t wondered what Hayes would be like in bed. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about how he’d fuck. Does he like it hard and rough? Or does he fuck like it’s his last night on this planet and he’s spending it with the woman he loves?

It’s hard because I’m attracted to both men but in completely different ways.

So, when Hayes grabs my hand in his as we walk, it reminds me of just how contrasting these relationships are. Hayes is slow when it comes to romance. That, and he’s very romantic and thoughtful. Whereas I haven’t seen that side to Nate, Hayes is one to go out of his way to prove he’s thinking of me every once in a while.

Hayes is the type to become your long time boyfriend. He’s the one you take home to meet your parents during the holidays and who gives you a promise ring after some time of dating.

Nate ... not so much.

Not that it’s a bad thing because I really can’t compare two completely different people. They both have their positive and negative qualities and I shouldn’t ever look at them in terms of one another. That just isn’t fair to either of them.

I can’t help but feel guilty because Hayes is such a good guy and I’ve been fucking Nate still even though we’ve been on a few dates. Hayes and myself have never placed a label on what we have, so I’m technically not in the wrong but I still feel a little bad about it.

He’s a very nice guy and maybe I just don’t deserve someone like him. It’s possible I’m just a little too wild for him.

But Nate —

“What do you think?” Hayes questions as he points to some cotton candy. I nod my head and give him a small smile. He releases my hand and gives me the bear to hold. He approaches the stand and I glance at the teddy bear in my arms.