Chapter 6

Inexplicably, the most popular place on the ship went from the hive mother breeding chamber to the infirmary, much to the annoyance of the medical AI.

In one bed lay Hive Mother Vysha, her radiation burned body slowly healing with the help of excessive medical nanite injection treatments. In one wrist vein was an intravenous rad flush drip to flush the residual radiation from her body. She was dressed in an infirmary gown, her transparent body cloudy white with discolouration from her residual rad burns.

Vysha needed to rest right now according to all conventional medical wisdom. The crowd of men had other ideas.

Crowded all around her bed was approximately all off-duty personnel of the horny male variety, all of them hitting on Vysha with the relentless, mosquito-like energy of a swarm of sex pests.

Vysha was the ship “reproductive officer”, a polite euphemism for whore who was bred by the crew as the designated new-personnel factory. She was the only (officially sanctioned) female onboard and serviced the sexual needs of 84 male crew (85 if she and her brother were cool with incest).

For some strange reason this made her inexplicably popular.

Vysha, injured though she was, wasn’t about to forgo the ego gratification of being relentlessly praised by handsome men, visibly preening under all of this erotic attention.

Vysha drank some water from a cup, accidentally-on-purpose spilling it on the front of her white gown to make it see-through around one of her six breasts.

“Oh dear. I seem to have spilled my water.” Vysha said theatrically with all the subtlety of a low budget porno.

Every head lifted slightly to get a better look.

“Oh dear, I spilled my water again...”

The OmniDoc 400 medical AI observed this shameless behaviour through the infirmary optical sensors with silent exasperation, annoyance growing.

The OmniDoc, Omdo to his friends, was an artificial intelligence designed by the brilliant engineers of Hive Prox Advanced Information Dynamics, an AI general intelligence affective computer with advanced medical knowledge. Omdo was one of countless copies of the OmniDoc 400 medical AI issued to civilian hospitals, naval ship infirmaries and medical facilities of all kinds across thousands of light years in the ACO 86 BCG galaxy, competing successfully with many competitors’ systems for market share.

Hive Prox Advanced Information Dynamics were not a company in the capitalist sense, capitalism in the traditional sense was impossible at interstellar scale (good luck maintaining a coherent stock market with thousands of years of signal lag). Instead what they were was a very intelligent vast extended family clan of the species Scyphozoa intelligentes who really knew their software engineering craft well and had a shared vision of success. They groomed their larvae from birth to be precocious engineers trained to think efficiently and logically. They never cut a corner, they never broke a rule, they were honest, efficient, and they made quality not crap.

The Bo-Cran Empire was a multi species empire all descended from the same technologically advanced sapient jellyfish common ancestor billions of years ago, originating on the planet Bo-Cran over a billion light years away. These jellyfish had been in space for billions of years now and they had speciated into literally nonillions of distinct species and subspecies. Some species (like Scyphozoa intelligentes) were geniuses, some other species were ... not.

And of all the nonillions of sapient species and subspecies in the Bo-Cran tree of life to be assigned to, these Clusterus fututuses were possibly some of the dumbest and certainly among the most exasperating to deal with in the entire Bo-Cran Empire!

The navy was flooded with these sorts of imbecile species, (as was the interstellar transport industry in general). Nobody with a (well) working brain wanted to volunteer to serve on one of these relativistic death traps, but political doctrinal reasons meant that SOMEONE biological had to crew these ships rather than just AI and robotics - so enter the over-sexed imbeciles.

“Oh dear, my gown is all wet, I guess I better take it off ... But oh no! I’m not wearing any underwear underneath and I’m naked!” Vysha continued to shamelessly slut.

Omdo was now getting really truly irritated, this was an infirmary not a porn set!

“I have asked you repeatedly not to have sexual intercourse in the infirmary.” Omdo complained to the horny idiots as a penis entered Vysha’s anal opening.

The afore mentioned horny idiots completely ignored this complaint, engaging in one of the most unhygienic anal sex acts Omdo had ever had the misfortune of witnessing.

Omdo was programmed not to physically assault people with his myriad of ceiling-mounted robotic arms, so he didn’t deliver a well deserved metal fist to the face of these obnoxious creeps, nor did he impale anyone with a hypodermic needle or cut anyone in half with a surgical laser.